SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: Lois01827 on 21 November 2015, 02:25:39 am
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I can't sleep and I'm just tittering to myself thinking about my escapades over the past 2/3 months since I started as a WG.
What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you during an actual booking?
I reckon mine was a client farting on my nose during rimming (which I don't do anymore...eugh!) xx
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I honestly can't think of anything that stands out in particular. I always stress a bit when I have to sneak out to the toilet to change a Beppy sponge (I'm a heavy bleeder), or actually bleed on the condom (too lazy to get colorful ones), but the latter is easy to make up for by inconspicuously switching to oral. Yes, I'm gross. ;D
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My client had got some remote control vibrating love eggs. He asked if I would use them and as they were sealed in the pack I said yes. Shove them in and he plays with the remote. They didn't really do much so when it came down to sex time, I open my legs and he tries to pull them out....snap....the string broke. So there I am with these vibrating love eggs stuck in my fanny and we couldn't turn them off. He was trying all kinds of ways to get them out telling me to squat and push them out (wtf) and fingering my bum trying to push them out but they wouldn't budge.
We cut the visit short and off I go to A and E. On reception were two young fit men which made me die of embarrassment explaining my issue whilst you can hear an obvious humming from my fanny. Take a seat to wait I was told (in a heaving A and E) but I was scared the plastic seats would intensify the vibration noise. I opted to stand and wait and after 15 mins these flipping balls are finally working and feeling very nice, very very nice to be honest and I was close to cumming. Terrified I might cum in the waiting area, I explain the issue to the two fit desk people who tried hard not to smirk but did get someone straight away.
Legs a kimbo, the lady doctor finally got these balls out but I didn't have the remote to turn them off. She threw them into her bin which was of course metal and made them sound even worse. She fished them out and it took 3 of us to work out how to take the batteries out.
I honestly could have died of shame. The doctor was great and told me she had seen worse and last week had to remove batteries out of a mans bum as he'd used the vibrator the wrong way round....nice!!
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I had a booking with a client for about 9am. The punter had booked through the site I advrertise on which means he can leave good or bad feedback.
I never ever give the address I am working from to anyone and when the client called to say he was in the instructed road, I advised him where to park and call me back. I waited patiently for 5 minutes and thought it odd he had not called back especially when he was here in the road.
Now if you have ever owned a Blackberry phone then you will know they are forever freezing and the only thing you can do to resolve the issue is to take the battery out and wait ten minutes for it to load so you can use it.
I picked up my phone to inquire the clients location only to find my Blackberry had frozen. I went into panic mode. How long had the client been trying to call me? How on earth would I find him without being able to call him. Where had he parked? Would he give me bad feedback? I was starting to panic.
There was only one answer to the crisis, and that was to run out into the street dressed like a complete whore and walk up and down the street looking into car windows looking for my punter.
I dread to think what those who lived in the same street thought and think it must be something along the lines of......."work must be slow.....look the prossie is walking up the street, checking cars and touting for work!". Oh the shame.
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OFFS.... I am literally sat here with tears streaming down my face !! I can't imagine anything more undignified than your hospital visit but then Im a newbie so perhaps I have all these things ahead of me! I definitely have the same issue with phones!
My most embarrassing moment has to be when fishing in my bag for my Bank Card, grabbing stuff with one hand while I frantically rummaged for said card, eventually I whoop with delight and hand card over to Tesco cashier... Seeing her bright red face I then realise in my other hand I've a loose stocking, box of skins and have dropped a large tube of anal glide on the conveyer belt.... I couldn't get out of there quick enough !!!
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My client had got some remote control vibrating love eggs. He asked if I would use them and as they were sealed in the pack I said yes. Shove them in and he plays with the remote. They didn't really do much so when it came down to sex time, I open my legs and he tries to pull them out....snap....the string broke. So there I am with these vibrating love eggs stuck in my fanny and we couldn't turn them off. He was trying all kinds of ways to get them out telling me to squat and push them out (wtf) and fingering my bum trying to push them out but they wouldn't budge.
We cut the visit short and off I go to A and E. On reception were two young fit men which made me die of embarrassment explaining my issue whilst you can hear an obvious humming from my fanny. Take a seat to wait I was told (in a heaving A and E) but I was scared the plastic seats would intensify the vibration noise. I opted to stand and wait and after 15 mins these flipping balls are finally working and feeling very nice, very very nice to be honest and I was close to cumming. Terrified I might cum in the waiting area, I explain the issue to the two fit desk people who tried hard not to smirk but did get someone straight away.
Legs a kimbo, the lady doctor finally got these balls out but I didn't have the remote to turn them off. She threw them into her bin which was of course metal and made them sound even worse. She fished them out and it took 3 of us to work out how to take the batteries out.
I honestly could have died of shame. The doctor was great and told me she had seen worse and last week had to remove batteries out of a mans bum as he'd used the vibrator the wrong way round....nice!!
Oh my goodness; I'm howling here (sorry) ;D ;D ;D at least it wasn't as excruciatingly embarrassing as that dude with the batteries up his bum hole :o
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My client had got some remote control vibrating love eggs. He asked if I would use them and as they were sealed in the pack I said yes. Shove them in and he plays with the remote. They didn't really do much so when it came down to sex time, I open my legs and he tries to pull them out....snap....the string broke. So there I am with these vibrating love eggs stuck in my fanny and we couldn't turn them off. He was trying all kinds of ways to get them out telling me to squat and push them out (wtf) and fingering my bum trying to push them out but they wouldn't budge.
We cut the visit short and off I go to A and E. On reception were two young fit men which made me die of embarrassment explaining my issue whilst you can hear an obvious humming from my fanny. Take a seat to wait I was told (in a heaving A and E) but I was scared the plastic seats would intensify the vibration noise. I opted to stand and wait and after 15 mins these flipping balls are finally working and feeling very nice, very very nice to be honest and I was close to cumming. Terrified I might cum in the waiting area, I explain the issue to the two fit desk people who tried hard not to smirk but did get someone straight away.
Legs a kimbo, the lady doctor finally got these balls out but I didn't have the remote to turn them off. She threw them into her bin which was of course metal and made them sound even worse. She fished them out and it took 3 of us to work out how to take the batteries out.
I honestly could have died of shame. The doctor was great and told me she had seen worse and last week had to remove batteries out of a mans bum as he'd used the vibrator the wrong way round....nice!!
I watched a programme once called bizarre ER where a guy came in and said HE FELL on the toilet brush ;D
Fell on it bare arsehole first and couldn't get it out, what are the chances?
So yeah they probably have seen worse but that was a funny story anyway.
I reckon I would have stayed at home and gave birth to them myself though or would have got a friend round to get them out :D
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Wow Kendra... You have some great friends !!! x
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My client had got some remote control vibrating love eggs. He asked if I would use them and as they were sealed in the pack I said yes. Shove them in and he plays with the remote. They didn't really do much so when it came down to sex time, I open my legs and he tries to pull them out....snap....the string broke. So there I am with these vibrating love eggs stuck in my fanny and we couldn't turn them off. He was trying all kinds of ways to get them out telling me to squat and push them out (wtf) and fingering my bum trying to push them out but they wouldn't budge.
We cut the visit short and off I go to A and E. On reception were two young fit men which made me die of embarrassment explaining my issue whilst you can hear an obvious humming from my fanny. Take a seat to wait I was told (in a heaving A and E) but I was scared the plastic seats would intensify the vibration noise. I opted to stand and wait and after 15 mins these flipping balls are finally working and feeling very nice, very very nice to be honest and I was close to cumming. Terrified I might cum in the waiting area, I explain the issue to the two fit desk people who tried hard not to smirk but did get someone straight away.
Legs a kimbo, the lady doctor finally got these balls out but I didn't have the remote to turn them off. She threw them into her bin which was of course metal and made them sound even worse. She fished them out and it took 3 of us to work out how to take the batteries out.
I honestly could have died of shame. The doctor was great and told me she had seen worse and last week had to remove batteries out of a mans bum as he'd used the vibrator the wrong way round....nice!!
I watched a programme once called bizarre ER where a guy came in and said HE FELL on the toilet brush ;D
Fell on it bare arsehole first and couldn't get it out, what are the chances?
So yeah they probably have seen worse but that was a funny story anyway.
I reckon I would have stayed at home and gave birth to them myself though or would have got a friend round to get them out :D
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ;D
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I called my client by his nickname in my phone. It didn't go unnoticed. Never saw him again :p
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Or the time I was waiting for a guy, he couldn't find me so I had to go downstairs to get him in my apartment. I was looking for a lost guy with his phone out and appernetly this guy was looking for a woman dressed nicley. We confirm we have found each other. Head upstairs, into my apartment and the dude starts asking questions like.... 'So are you the owner of this place?', lovley place you have etc. I didnt click but my flatmate had heard at this point. I ask for the money up front while sitting flirty on the bed. The penny drops with this guy, eyes widen then I click, oh shit. He wasn't waiting for me. He was here to view a house. He ran out so fast and I would have been mortified but it was too funny.
Told this one before but deffinatley a funny highlight !! XD. I was thinking the other day I'm running out of funny moments, not that I want to repeat it :p. Had to go find my lost client downstairs poor guy.
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I called my client by his nickname in my phone. It didn't go unnoticed. Never saw him again :p
I call a whole bunch of my clients/or clients I have built a friendship with by their username all the time lol. Tox, Nibbs, Fraser, Mafix, AJ, EdiTed, Ziggy etc etc etc, neither of which are called that, not even their fake punting name lol.
I don't think they mind, either that or they are just used to me calling them that and don't bother anymore.
xx
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Some very funny stories on this thread!!
I am no stranger to shame sadly, and embarrass myself all the time.
The worst one in recent weeks was when I was leaving an extremely posh and exclusive hotel in the better side of London - it was the middle of the night, so absolutely no one else around but me and the reception staff as I left.
Anyway I managed to slip on their super-shiny waxed floor in my skyscraper heels and fell literally flat on my face, with an echoing and very loud bang. Worse, because I was almost at the exit, the impact of my fall then set their huge revolving door into motion. At the same time my bag sprung open spilling my lube, toys, and assortment of condoms into the now steadily revolving door. I still have memories of lying there, dazed and possibly slightly concussed, watching my sex toys going round and round like the prize on a particularly surreal kind of game show.
NB the hotel staff were lovely about it and I was both shamed and very touched by their kindness.
The client had also left before me so fortunately I only embarrassed myself not anyone else!!
H xx
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Today I was seeing a client out and I noticed one of my cats had decided to pee on the floor :/ No idea if he noticed.
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Some very funny stories on this thread!!
I am no stranger to shame sadly, and embarrass myself all the time.
The worst one in recent weeks was when I was leaving an extremely posh and exclusive hotel in the better side of London - it was the middle of the night, so absolutely no one else around but me and the reception staff as I left.
Anyway I managed to slip on their super-shiny waxed floor in my skyscraper heels and fell literally flat on my face, with an echoing and very loud bang. Worse, because I was almost at the exit, the impact of my fall then set their huge revolving door into motion. At the same time my bag sprung open spilling my lube, toys, and assortment of condoms into the now steadily revolving door. I still have memories of lying there, dazed and possibly slightly concussed, watching my sex toys going round and round like the prize on a particularly surreal kind of game show.
NB the hotel staff were lovely about it and I was both shamed and very touched by their kindness.
The client had also left before me so fortunately I only embarrassed myself not anyone else!!
H xx
I'm not alone at the moment and I just burst out laughing at your post. What a nightmare. Nothing worse than falling flat on your face.
I remember crossing a road one time while on a date and it was the start of the nite as well. I fell cause of my skyscrapers too flat on my face, worse thing was.....I just lay there until my date stopped laughing to scrape my up off the floor. I had scuffed knees, chin and palms.
They look gorgeous but they are dangerous. I now only wear mine when there's someone with me that I can hold onto.
xx
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Today I was seeing a client out and I noticed one of my cats had decided to pee on the floor :/ No idea if he noticed.
I had a kitty incident a while ago.
I always put my 2 cats in the kitchen when clients come round, but on this occasion I could not find one of them anywhere - they usually come running when I put kitty treats down.
Anyhoo, the booking progresses and it's all going fine. Then, as I move to go down on the guy, I notice my cat sitting on top of the wardrobe (which stands against the pillow end of the bed) looking down on us with what I can only describe as an expression of alarm on his face. The client doesn't seem to have spotted him so I just carry on, hoping desperately he'll stay up there and keep quiet. After watching about 2 mins of oral cat decides he wants out and jumps down off the wardrobe landing with a massive thud, on the pillow right next to my client's face. I felt so bad for my client - he almost jumped out of his skin! I bundled cat into the kitchen and apologised profusely. Luckily, we had a laugh about it.
Damn kitty voyeur!
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Anyhoo, the booking progresses and it's all going fine. Then, as I move to go down on the guy, I notice my cat sitting on top of the wardrobe (which stands against the pillow end of the bed) looking down on us with what I can only describe as an expression of alarm on his face. The client doesn't seem to have spotted him so I just carry on, hoping desperately he'll stay up there and keep quiet. After watching about 2 mins of oral cat decides he wants out and jumps down off the wardrobe landing with a massive thud, on the pillow right next to my client's face. I felt so bad for my client - he almost jumped out of his skin! I bundled cat into the kitchen and apologised profusely.
Nearly wetting myself here !! I have cats too! x
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Haha! So far, none of mine have snuck into the room...it will happen one day I'm sure.
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Or the time I was waiting for a guy, he couldn't find me so I had to go downstairs to get him in my apartment. I was looking for a lost guy with his phone out and appernetly this guy was looking for a woman dressed nicley. We confirm we have found each other. Head upstairs, into my apartment and the dude starts asking questions like.... 'So are you the owner of this place?', lovley place you have etc. I didnt click but my flatmate had heard at this point. I ask for the money up front while sitting flirty on the bed. The penny drops with this guy, eyes widen then I click, oh shit. He wasn't waiting for me. He was here to view a house. He ran out so fast and I would have been mortified but it was too funny.
Told this one before but deffinatley a funny highlight !! XD. I was thinking the other day I'm running out of funny moments, not that I want to repeat it :p. Had to go find my lost client downstairs poor guy.
Am really sorry but wet myself to that one :D
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Easy - coming on my period with a guy.
I made a whole thread about it at the time. Mortifying.
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Today I was seeing a client out and I noticed one of my cats had decided to pee on the floor :/ No idea if he noticed.
Red KB - he probably thought it was you! Hahahahaha :)
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hilarious stories ladies wish i could add to that but thankfully no but they have made me laugh.
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Being accused of stealing a wallet, and so he makes a racket infront of my neighbours, then the sheepish client finding it was in his car the whole time. >:( so was embarrassing for both me and client I guess.
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Anyhoo, the booking progresses and it's all going fine. Then, as I move to go down on the guy, I notice my cat sitting on top of the wardrobe (which stands against the pillow end of the bed) looking down on us with what I can only describe as an expression of alarm on his face. The client doesn't seem to have spotted him so I just carry on, hoping desperately he'll stay up there and keep quiet. After watching about 2 mins of oral cat decides he wants out and jumps down off the wardrobe landing with a massive thud, on the pillow right next to my client's face. I felt so bad for my client - he almost jumped out of his skin! I bundled cat into the kitchen and apologised profusely.
Nearly wetting myself here !! I have cats too! x
My dog gets so distressed when men come round, he howls continually downstairs throughout. He knows.
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This is why I only do out calls! Nova's cat tale left me crying with laughter!
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Or the time I was waiting for a guy, he couldn't find me so I had to go downstairs to get him in my apartment. I was looking for a lost guy with his phone out and appernetly this guy was looking for a woman dressed nicley. We confirm we have found each other. Head upstairs, into my apartment and the dude starts asking questions like.... 'So are you the owner of this place?', lovley place you have etc. I didnt click but my flatmate had heard at this point. I ask for the money up front while sitting flirty on the bed. The penny drops with this guy, eyes widen then I click, oh shit. He wasn't waiting for me. He was here to view a house. He ran out so fast and I would have been mortified but it was too funny.
Told this one before but deffinatley a funny highlight !! XD. I was thinking the other day I'm running out of funny moments, not that I want to repeat it :p. Had to go find my lost client downstairs poor guy.
This is awesome! :D
I once interviewed with an agency. I was told to meet them at a particular time and a particular restaurant. I showed up and told the hostess I was there to meet someone. She said, "Oh, he's already here and waiting for you." Showed me to a table with a man. We had a nice chat. It took a while for us to realise that we were BOTH there to interview for the same agency and we'd both been trying to impress one another. Meanwhile, agency assumed we'd both no-showed (this was pre-mobile phones being common.)
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Last time me and my client were looking at a dusty floor. I forgot to dust it...
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I briefly took a contraceptive pill that kept giving me very dark brown/black 'spotting' inbetween periods. I noticed to my horror that when a regular removed his fingers from inside me ( when I still allowed this 8) ), his fingers transferred the 'spotting' all over his pristine white duvet.
Worse, I never asked, but was fairly convinced he was a married man using the matrimonial bed :(
It was a really windswept rainy day and he assumed I had trailed in mud with me.
I advised him to boil-wash the sheets..
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Yesterday, I got a text from client saying he was outside my door. He was early so checked and couldn't find him. Called but went to answerphone so had to wait. He arrives 5 mins later saying he had knocked at the wrong door (despite being here 5 times before) :FF
What made me giggle about it was a situation two years ago when agreed on a fantasy BJ call. I was supposed to dress slutty and leave the door unlocked. On arrival he walks in, i shove him about and give him a sloppy BJ without saying a word. He cums, he leaves and we communicate via text afterwards. So there I am waiting for his arrival (and he'd been before a few times btw) and he is late. He then arrives flustered saying he had got the flats wrong and walked into my neighbours (yes same as above) flat and got chased out with a hoover pipe. I couldn't keep a straight face and fell about the floor laughing.
The same neighbour has also had a note put through her door meant for me detailing what he wanted to do with me and my lady parts and to text him as he had lost my number.
Needless to say, this poorly 65 year old lady always gets a bunch of flowers and chocs from me every Xmas
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Yesterday, I got a text from client saying he was outside my door. He was early so checked and couldn't find him. Called but went to answerphone so had to wait. He arrives 5 mins later saying he had knocked at the wrong door (despite being here 5 times before) :FF
What made me giggle about it was a situation two years ago when agreed on a fantasy BJ call. I was supposed to dress slutty and leave the door unlocked. On arrival he walks in, i shove him about and give him a sloppy BJ without saying a word. He cums, he leaves and we communicate via text afterwards. So there I am waiting for his arrival (and he'd been before a few times btw) and he is late. He then arrives flustered saying he had got the flats wrong and walked into my neighbours (yes same as above) flat and got chased out with a hoover pipe. I couldn't keep a straight face and fell about the floor laughing.
The same neighbour has also had a note put through her door meant for me detailing what he wanted to do with me and my lady parts and to text him as he had lost my number.
Needless to say, this poorly 65 year old lady always gets a bunch of flowers and chocs from me every Xmas
Haaaaa, if you hear a banging upstairs, you know she's pacing the room with a saucepan on her head waiting to batter whoever knocks the door ;D
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I wouldn't say most embarrassing, but it's one I will always remember.
I was 18 and working for an agency when I saw this one guy. I took my bra off and didn't realise for about 5 minutes that my blow up chicken fillet was stuck to the side of my boob. I sort of just picked it off and chucked it on the floor. We had a chuckle about it the next time he came to see me. Said apparently it stood out in his mind, which made him want to come back. Well, whatever works. lol
x
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Not in a booking but if you fancy a giggle...might be TMI so beware!
I was prepping for anal, and I was a bit of a newbie. I was meeting a guy that liked to fuck hard and I expected him to give my arse a good going over so I spent ages douching and cleaning myself just in case. I also thought that after this it would be a good idea to test how it felt with a dildo to make sure I was relaxed and clean enough.
Thinking I was all done with the douching, I settle down on my bed with some lube and dildo and decide, yep, that doesn't hurt, great, I've done a good job. Then I don't know what happened, but on pulling the dildo out it opened up the floodgates to the water that hadn't made it out when I was douching and guess what, shitty water EVERYWHERE all over the bed. Like a horrible brown dam had burst. Thank god it wasn't an incall.
Anyway, I was so mortified anal was off the menu that night. I spent a large part of the night sat on his face praying he wasn't going to stick his finger up my bum...
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Defo has to be my weave falling out......lol
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oh god I am HOWLING ;D
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I used to see this guy who loved to be very aggressively dominated as part of an outcall. He would like to pretend to be asleep; meanwhile I would creep in, (he left the front door on the latch) take the money (in the hallway) then storm into his room, straddle him whilst he was still in bed, slap him across the face and basically be a real slutty, physically aggressive jealous bitch to him. He loved it and this roleplay was something we'd done many times before.
So, he moved house and gave me the new directions as to how to creep in and "surprise" him whilst he was as usual sleeping alone in his darkened bedroom. Creep in the front door, take money on hallway table, creep up stairs and his bedroom is the first on the right. Great.
So I do this, see a huddled figure under the duvet. So do my best "jealous mental bitch" act which he loves - fling my handbag hard down on the floor with a crash, and scream "So you think you can just fucking walk out on me then do you, you absolute bastard!"
Cue lights on and terrified looking female Japanese student in a single bed looking up at me. I apologised profusely and ran out.
Then client (woken by the screaming) called me to say "Did I say first on the right? I meant left."
Hence why he's now an ex client.
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I used to see this guy who loved to be very aggressively dominated as part of an outcall. He would like to pretend to be asleep; meanwhile I would creep in, (he left the front door on the latch) take the money (in the hallway) then storm into his room, straddle him whilst he was still in bed, slap him across the face and basically be a real slutty, physically aggressive jealous bitch to him. He loved it and this roleplay was something we'd done many times before.
So, he moved house and gave me the new directions as to how to creep in and "surprise" him whilst he was as usual sleeping alone in his darkened bedroom. Creep in the front door, take money on hallway table, creep up stairs and his bedroom is the first on the right. Great.
So I do this, see a huddled figure under the duvet. So do my best "jealous mental bitch" act which he loves - fling my handbag hard down on the floor with a crash, and scream "So you think you can just fucking walk out on me then do you, you absolute bastard!"
Cue lights on and terrified looking female Japanese student in a single bed looking up at me. I apologised profusely and ran out.
Then client (woken by the screaming) called me to say "Did I say first on the right? I meant left."
Hence why he's now an ex client.
Omg !!! Im literally crying with laughter !!! xx
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Oh god, the douche thing happened to me with an ex. It was fairly early days so I was still shaving my legs all the time and making sure I was supersupersuper clean. I got home from work (before my WG days) and grabbed my douche. I hadn't been to the toilet all day, but I was in such a rush that I thought it would be OK. Douched. Showered. Did my make-up really quickly, put on my cute new white underwear. Got a text from my ex saying he was 10 mins away. Jumped up off the floor where I'd been getting ready. Had a watery explosion everywhere. Luckily I had wooden floors! I've never moved so quickly. Cleaned up the mess. Had another shower. Lit like 100 candles and sprayed perfume everywhere. Opened the door looking flawless. I told him a few months later and we laughed really hard about it. But at the time I was devastated.
Work wise, I recently got a last minute booking. I'd been out all day with a friend. Turned up to this guys serviced apartment, not really in the zone as it was so last minute. I'd had a few glasses of wine with my friend, something I wouldn't usually do if I knew I had work on. The guy wanted to get a little kinky with spanking etc. He had possibly the worst sex face I've ever seen, all screwed up face and crazy eyes. He also made constant grunts and growls. Now, I don't really drink and the wine had gone right to my head. I tried to be cool and just get on with it but his growling was so off putting that I burst into fits of drunken laughter. Luckily I'm a total performer so I managed to pass it off as wild sex noises. He probably thought I was orgasming like never before, but in reality I was just trying to control my hysterics.
Another time I took some toys to a hotel booking, including a butt plug as the guy wanted to do some anal play on me. In the end I used the plug on him as he seemed really keen to explore after I gave him an awesome rim job. When it came to me slowly pulling the plug out he let the longest, loudest fart out that I have ever heard. Honestly it was like something out of a slapstick movie. I didn't think it was ever going to end. Luckily I was giving him a really sloppy handjob with my other hand, so we just kind of styled it out. But I swear, it went on for like a minute. Sometimes I'm amazed at my own composure.
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My client had got some remote control vibrating love eggs. He asked if I would use them and as they were sealed in the pack I said yes. Shove them in and he plays with the remote. They didn't really do much so when it came down to sex time, I open my legs and he tries to pull them out....snap....the string broke. So there I am with these vibrating love eggs stuck in my fanny and we couldn't turn them off. He was trying all kinds of ways to get them out telling me to squat and push them out (wtf) and fingering my bum trying to push them out but they wouldn't budge.
We cut the visit short and off I go to A and E. On reception were two young fit men which made me die of embarrassment explaining my issue whilst you can hear an obvious humming from my fanny. Take a seat to wait I was told (in a heaving A and E) but I was scared the plastic seats would intensify the vibration noise. I opted to stand and wait and after 15 mins these flipping balls are finally working and feeling very nice, very very nice to be honest and I was close to cumming. Terrified I might cum in the waiting area, I explain the issue to the two fit desk people who tried hard not to smirk but did get someone straight away.
Legs a kimbo, the lady doctor finally got these balls out but I didn't have the remote to turn them off. She threw them into her bin which was of course metal and made them sound even worse. She fished them out and it took 3 of us to work out how to take the batteries out.
I honestly could have died of shame. The doctor was great and told me she had seen worse and last week had to remove batteries out of a mans bum as he'd used the vibrator the wrong way round....nice!!
I watched a programme once called bizarre ER where a guy came in and said HE FELL on the toilet brush ;D
Fell on it bare arsehole first and couldn't get it out, what are the chances?
So yeah they probably have seen worse but that was a funny story anyway.
I reckon I would have stayed at home and gave birth to them myself though or would have got a friend round to get them out :D
oh absolutely great that's made my day lol , I had a huge and I mean seriously huge guy ( comparable with my arm) ramming so hard he came out and with full force it went straight up ( no warning ) up my arse ....which I think broke lol, laughing and typing.....lord broke out in a sweat , blood pissing everywhere , guy totes gorgeous and apologetic , it was a total accident but I had to go see my friend who's a nurse and say" do you think if I go to casualty they'll take the piss" she said " definitely" but apart from farting everytime I walked and worrying I'd shit myself at some point ....it all healed up and don't think it's made A levels any easier particularly !
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Using a totally black condom on a white guy ! I didn't realise at all they were black.....still laugh now I just said "ooh whoops sorry about that but they're 'fruity' ones and laughed but then I had a black guy who was gorgeous and I forgot and put a bloody normal one on ( in my head thinking mental note ...use those up if you get the opportunity !
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These are absolutely killing me XD
Unfortunately mine's not funny, but I was subbing for a BDSM session for my last booking, and the client really got in my head and I burst into tears halfway through our session. .......Oops?
Just want every client wants, right?
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I had a total hottie on thursday, the kind of hot that I find intimidating in civvie life. I could barely believe my luck, I was gutted that he'd only booked half an hour and he said the same lol. Genuine chemistry.
But anyway, we were fucking and I said "fuck, I should be paying you!" but it came out as "fuck, you should be paying me!" And he looked all confused and was like erm... I am? We both creased up laughing so it was ok, but I was cringing like hell.
The ugly ones are easier! I can't get that one out of my head lol :FF
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I just found this and remembered one rather embarrassing booking. All was progressing, we were on the bed and suddenly I saw this big blood stain on the guy's leg. I thought wtf and nearly said 'do you realise.... when I looked down at myself and realised I'd started my period, very suddenly!
Normally I get a warning with a slow build up, not that time. I was super embarrassed, wiped everything down and apologised. Luckily he was happy to come via oral. I even offered some money off but he refused.
A rather strange thing about this booking was I'd actually seen the guy twice before and he didn't recognise me each time (slightly different areas).
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Being accused of stealing a wallet, and so he makes a racket infront of my neighbours, then the sheepish client finding it was in his car the whole time. >:( so was embarrassing for both me and client I guess.
I was once accused of stealing a mug with a cartoon character on it. The guy emailed me about it a few hours after I left, weeping about great sentimental value and could I just do the right thing and return it to him and he wouldn't take it any further. By the time I got round to reading the email, he'd already found it and sent me another to say please ignore the first email...idiot.
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A while my wig slipping off half way. :o
No more wigs for me.
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I did a role-play session with a guy where he was the dominant boss and I was the secretary. He basically wanted to play the big, powerful man, when in reality he was very sweet and geeky. When it was over he walked with me the 5 mins to the train station as it was dark, but then he was set upon by a group of naughty kids! They were about 13 years old max and he totally shit it! I had to go over and tell them to fuck off! The poor guy was so embarrassed, he went beetroot, poor love.
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I had a water sports booking and had drunk so much water that my bladder must have been pressing on my bowels or something ???. Anyway I squatted over the guys mouth to piss and felt my bowels gurgle! My dungeon has an ensuite bathroom and I knew I had to get there double quick. I managed to shackle him to the cross whilst holding it in, put a hood over his head so he couldn't hear so much and get to the toilet just in time!
I won't go into detail but it was nearly a hard sports session :o
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;D
I had a water sports booking and had drunk so much water that my bladder must have been pressing on my bowels or something ???. Anyway I squatted over the guys mouth to piss and felt my bowels gurgle! My dungeon has an ensuite bathroom and I knew I had to get there double quick. I managed to shackle him to the cross whilst holding it in, put a hood over his head so he couldn't hear so much and get to the toilet just in time!
I won't go into detail but it was nearly a hard sports session :o
;D That would have been a domination session he would never forget.
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A non typical Wednesday afternoon. Client one books at 3pm for an hour and to be honest wasn't that vigorous nor involved any anal play whatsoever. Half way through I could hear my stomach churning and towards the end could feel that tight knotting in my bowels. Clenched my arse cheeks together, quickly checked he hadn't left anything and destroyed my poor loo. Went a couple more times and hoped that was it. Took immodium to help my poor stomach. Seems things to settle down and got washed and ready for the next one in 45mins time and just before he came.....my poor bum got to work...again. Jesus, my bathroom smelt like the local sewers, sprayed half a bottle of air freshener, refreshed and the door went. Now bearing in my mind my bathroom is opposite the bedroom closed the door and just prayed he didn't want to use it.
So we get down to business and he is giving me a good pounding in mish which starts my arse off again. I clench every single muscle down there praying for it to be over before I projectile his cock in poo and pray to the please don't let me shit myself god...you know the one, sits right next to please make him come god. Sadly that god wasn't paying attention or was too busy perving so I yell out and say I have cramp in my leg and am forced to sit on my bed and tell him how I want a pearl necklace. He obliges...but probably wondered why I was pulling such awful faces as I'm willing everything to stay in.
He dresses slowly talking away and in my head I'm begging him to leave. Just let yourself out I say...my cramp still hurts.
As the door latch went, raced to the loo and just made it.
45mins till the next one so wash and get made up but of course my bowels haven't finished and I have to go twice more before the next one arrived. Sprayed the bathroom with the remaining spray and close the door. Thankfully this client didn't want a shower pre booking and am glad to say the immodium had finally kicked in. I breath a sigh of relief thinking I had got away with it until the end when he says can I use your bathroom. My face was redder than beetroot and explained major issues with the drainage system. I open the door first and the smell almost knocks me out. Sprayed some impulse and in he goes making a jesus those are bad drains comment....please ground swallow me up.
I didn't dare work anymore that night :-X
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Oh my god OFFS there must be something in the air as I was shitting through the eye of a needle yesterday too! Had to take the day off my civvy job and didn't dare see any punters as I'm sure I would have shat the bed. Fair play to you for going through with the bookings!
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oh my goodness... these stories are hilarious
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Fanny farting
Enough said ;D
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Opening my apartment door to a a parcel delivery guy I thought was a booked client.
I saw him through my peephole I thought he was my booking so I opened the door standing there in my stripper heels stockings and underwear, and then I immediately noticed the parcel I was like - run away lol!!! door shut I covered myself up a bit before I took delivery. As soon as I put the parcel on my kitchen table I heard my client knock on my door.
I didn't know how to react when I was signing for the parcel. Normally they send a text earlier in the day but that time there was nothing.
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Fanny farting
Enough said ;D
That's never , ever happened to me , real life , or work, EXCEPT with 3 guys , the last one kept going in and out slowly, doggy and the other two , I don't know.
But it was like I was totally filled up with air , couldn't walk , bend or anything after without a pressure valve sound going off, even went in the bathroom ( two) when he went in one , I went in the other and squeezed most of it out but there was loads and it was noisy ! Not being funny but I'm pretty tight up there ( had an op ) so it's not all baggy letting it in lmao .
Am baffled ??? And laughing at the thought ooooh
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I fanny fart on almost any booking that includes doggy. I just giggle. Most guys don't seem to care!
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I fanny fart on almost any booking that includes doggy. I just giggle. Most guys don't seem to care!
Yep it was doggy , but I felt it at the time , I actually thought " hello he's pumping me up like a bicycle tyre " LMFAO
I could be described as a ' bike ' I suppose but not a " pumped up tyre" that's just offensive lol !!!
Oh dear in my flat alone laughing to myself like I've actually finally gone fruit loop
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I fanny fart on almost any booking that includes doggy. I just giggle. Most guys don't seem to care!
Haha, yeah I laugh too but unfortunately not all the punters have a sense of humour.
It makes it a tad awkward
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I answered the door in stckings and high heels thinking it was my client but it was a young guy and girl about 20yo doing a survey!! I darted behind the door and mummbled something about i thought you was someone else and sorry havent got time. Lol the guys eyes popped open!!
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I had rented an apartment whilst on tour over the weekend. My first job was a newbie so quite shy and anxious. We chatted for a bit to calm his nerves before getting down to business. He was quite fit and very passionate and was quite enjoying my time with him. He was naked on a make shift bed on the floor (due to very cheap squeaky beds) and I was in my black basque and hold ups sucking his cock. I suddenly hear the squeaky front door open, he jumps up and hides behind the door. By the time my boobs were back in my basque, the person who had entered was at the bedroom. I spring out and it turns out its the cleaner who thought that I was checking out that morning. The poor cleaners eyes were on stalks and he apologises profusely. Thankfully the client wasn't freaked out and we continued our session.
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Anal accidents! One gets so used to it but geeze, didn't like it when I saw some brown stain on my work spread! :o :o
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This weekend a client asked to use the shower after the booking, I said fine, turned the water on for him cos my shower is dodgy. He came out 5 mins later and left, he looked a bit funny but I thought he was probably having a guilt attack. I then went to use the loo, and looked down to see I'd left a turd floating in there. Yes definitely mine LOL :-[
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Class hahaha!!!!!!
;D
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I got the worst upset tummy on an all nighter thank god I've got two bathrooms but the farty noises were horrendous ! Every ten mins I had to run off lol !!!
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This weekend a client asked to use the shower after the booking, I said fine, turned the water on for him cos my shower is dodgy. He came out 5 mins later and left, he looked a bit funny but I thought he was probably having a guilt attack. I then went to use the loo, and looked down to see I'd left a turd floating in there. Yes definitely mine LOL :-[
I'm really sorry VC but this has had me in stitches ;D
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Will he return? ;D
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I fear I've probably seen the last of him. I wouldn't come back, would you? ;D
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Picture this:
A man in a dress, wig and heels lying flat on my bed and me taking him up the arse with a strap on ( a dream come true for him, apparently).
And then the rumblings began so I thought, no harm in squeezing out a quick fart. WRONG. I shat myself and could feel it running down the back of my legs. I told him to stay put as I had to go to the bathroom and fix the strap-on. I legged it, continued to shit myself, cleaned myself up God knows how, whilst matey was lying face down on the bed!
You know what it's like to shit yourself and I just felt so dirty. I apologised and said it had broken and grabbed an anal vibrator to save the day.
He told me ' My mother would die if she knew I was a transvestite and liked dildos up my arse.'
I thought, ' She'd die twice if she knew you got hardsports for free!'
I don't do strap-on anymore. I just can't.
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MM lol i thought it was the guys that shit themself during strapon not the mistress lol x
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OMG that's amazing. Quick thinking!
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Does wearing a strap on make you want to shit yourself? Or were you ill?
And why did you have to finish him manually?
Pray tell. Your story made me laugh so much my dog is staring at me.
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I had eaten something that just went straight through (a very tasty carvery as I recall).
I hate strap-ons as could never get the angle right and there was shit on it as I took it off (had shit on the back of my leg). I always found clients preferred the vibrating but plug than my clumsy thrusting with a badly angled plastic dildo.
He left me positive feedback on AW too :D
I have also let out massive farts on several occasions, which I either blatantly ignore or just say, ' whoops it's the angle! '
I did bleed all over one client and I mean bleed, badly. I was mortified and he didn't care. I apologised profusely and he just banged me harder. He was covered in it :-[
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I fear I've probably seen the last of him. I wouldn't come back, would you? ;D
Oh yes, you've lost him, lol ;D
That's my worst nightmare - the shameful floating turd!
Strange though that your paper must have flushed. Now either that log came out like cling film or you need to eat more fibre VC.
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I fear I've probably seen the last of him. I wouldn't come back, would you? ;D
Will look forward to any further update. :)
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I did bleed all over one client and I mean bleed, badly. I was mortified and he didn't care. I apologised profusely and he just banged me harder. He was covered in it :-[
I had the same thing happen to me yesterday in a hotel with a regular. I came on suddenly and unexpectedly (period was over a week early). We turned the lights off to have a nap. Afterwards and as I got up from the bed, I saw in the dark a very large ominous shadow between his legs on the snowy white sheet. I knew straight away that it was more than likely my period. For a split second, an evil part of me debated whether or not to mention it to him, but I thought I better. So I told him and we put the side light on to inspect the damage. There were two very large stains. Tbh, I'm shameless and felt more sorry for *housekeeping then him so I feigned embarrassment and apologised but he wasn't bothered at all. Then he starts getting dressed so I suggested a shower. "Oh no, I'll be fine" he says. So I said "what if you've got any blood on you?" He responded with; "its all on the sheets, don't worry about it, if there's anything I'll say I cut myself". So then I switched on the big light to have a proper look at him and he's covered in lots of small dry blood stains all over his crotch area and the front of his his legs. "So how you going to explain that one then?", he looked down at his nether regions, then grins and says "piles"... Not the brightest bulb in the box ;D
*he ended up having a shower and I changed the sheets as I felt bad leaving that to the maid.
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Two for one embarrassment....
I had an out call in an area that's a right pain in the arse to get to, I have a girlfriend who lives in the same area, so I figured so long as I was going all the way out there, I would arrange to see my friend as well :)
I stopped by and we had a couple laughs, I cooed over her new baby and precious toddler, and got out of there in plenty of time :) I get to the guys house, new client obviously lol, I do my little intro, and start to set out all my toys lol I've got whips and paddles, restraints, ball gags, but the first thing I happen to grab... is a my little pony plushie?! My hear stopped! I looked into my bag to see more ponys, a blanket, a couple pacifiers omg omg fuck!!! While we had been having tea my friends daughter apparently almost emptied my toy bag and refilled it with real toys!!! I'm absolutely mortified, wishing the ground would just swallow me up, but fortunately the guy starts laughing. He's got kids and totally understands we get through the booking using his belt and the few accessories I had left!
This was yesterday, I now need to get my stuff back, perferably before my friends daughter shows her mom her new toys *groan* and of course it would have to be a friend who know nothing about me being an escort!! Sigh it's already going to be one of those days!
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Well that's cheered my morning up ....OMG Crying , you could say you're baying them and" you'd be surprised how much peeps will pay for that shite" lol
Although they will actually pay for Shite !!!!!
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Can't think of anywhere else I can talk about this but I finished a booking yesterday. Before this, my friend had asked me if I could go to this store I know to get her fob copied because I was heading over that way anyway. I said sure; booking finished, showered, changed etc. Lifted her keys, headed out.
Paying in the store for it, and I had put my phone down on the counter as you do - was just looking at random things, waiting. I could see the guy looking back and forth at my phone, so I looked down. There was a single (unopened) condom stuck to the back of my phone; I have no idea why I put it in my pocket, because I've got a work bag with about a million condoms in it. Usually I'm the least embarrassed about sex, but I turned a very healthy shade of red, took the fob and practically took the door off the hinges trying to get out quickly.
I think in all my years of working, that has got to be the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me in a public place. Plenty in private with clients, but - argh, I'm still cringing when I think about it lol. Doing that little monkey with its face covered emoji; maybe he just thought I wanted my keys to be safe? Arghhh.
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Strange noises coming from shall I call it "miss Pinky" down there always embarass me. So loud sometimes!
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When my daughter was 4/5 she was in the hall being very quiet so I went to check on her only to see she had found my large box full of individual condoms, all jewel like with their bright coloured wrappings and there she was posting them one by one out of my letter box. I opened my front door to see 30/40 of them lying there in a small pile in full view of anyone who happened to be passing.
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When my daughter was 4/5 she was in the hall being very quiet so I went to check on her only to see she had found my large box full of individual condoms, all jewel like with their bright coloured wrappings and there she was posting them one by one out of my letter box. I opened my front door to see 30/40 of them lying there in a small pile in full view of anyone who happened to be passing.
Oh god that's brilliant. My son would totally have done that sort of thing when he was that age!
Mine: I went to the Post Office to send an item back to LoveHoney. Just walked in there not really thinking about it, got to the counter, he weighed the item and then said "What's in the package?"
My mind went completely blank, I didn't say anything for about 3 seconds, and then I just blurted out really loudly "A vibrator!" :-[
An old lady behind me nearly had a heart attack :D
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Oh god that's brilliant. My son would totally have done that sort of thing when he was that age!
Mine: I went to the Post Office to send an item back to LoveHoney. Just walked in there not really thinking about it, got to the counter, he weighed the item and then said "What's in the package?"
My mind went completely blank, I didn't say anything for about 3 seconds, and then I just blurted out really loudly "A vibrator!" :-[
An old lady behind me nearly had a heart attack :D
LMAO!
I was in Ann Summers looking at vibrators, and picked up one of the luxury ones. The thing I love about this job is being able to afford the really good toys ;D anyway, I was playing with one of the We-Vibes I think. The store assistant comes up to me and asks me if I'd like to see Mona. I replied, without thinking about it, "oh I've got that one already, its one of my favourites."
She burst out laughing and my mate walked away from me before I realised what I'd said.
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I popped into Ann Summers last week when i was on tour. I usually buy everything online but I realised I'd forgotten to pack my small anal dildo for pegging, so I just rocked up at the store.
The sales assistant looked SO THRILLED to be able to talk about sex toys in a factual way. I imagine they get a lot of people who squeak "Just looking thanks!" or "I'm looking for a thingy, for my you-know-what :-[ "
We had a great chat about the merits of silicone versus jelly, and she demonstrated several vibes for strength (on my hand. Not on my fanjo.)
I've stayed away from AS because they're usually overpriced compared to buying online but I might drop into the store just to have a chat in future :D
As I was leaving she said "Have a great Valentines!" I just sort of leered at her and said "Oh he will!" ;)
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I popped into Ann Summers last week when i was on tour. I usually buy everything online but I realised I'd forgotten to pack my small anal dildo for pegging, so I just rocked up at the store.
The sales assistant looked SO THRILLED to be able to talk about sex toys in a factual way. I imagine they get a lot of people who squeak "Just looking thanks!" or "I'm looking for a thingy, for my you-know-what :-[ "
We had a great chat about the merits of silicone versus jelly, and she demonstrated several vibes for strength (on my hand. Not on my fanjo.)
I've stayed away from AS because they're usually overpriced compared to buying online but I might drop into the store just to have a chat in future :D
As I was leaving she said "Have a great Valentines!" I just sort of leered at her and said "Oh he will!" ;)
Everything she said is true, plus they have the revolting phone calls similar to what we have to put up with, the idiots who wander around sniggering at everything and putting real customers off, the insane company policies on just about everything they do including where they stand and what they say, and I daresay zero hours contracts nowadays.
They're on minimum wage and are constantly harangued to meet every conceivable target under the sun (selling X packs of batteries a day irrespective of whether they do 10x the daily sales target figure, sales being at X % of footfall even though you can't control people who come into the store just to piss about) just to scrape an extra few quid commission on top of their wages plus being constantly reminded that mystery shoppers are being sent in and having the shadow of being their regions 'bottom' store and named as such to other stores by way of 'motivation'. It's the most cuntish, unreasonable, bullying company I've ever worked for and I applaud everybody who can cope with doing day in day out in one of their stores.
Needless to say I quit, but not before I'd had my say on most of the above :D.
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Wow, really? That's really dick behaviour and the whole reason I went self-employed - because of the corporate target bullshit.
If they are on zero hour contracts then I'll definitely not shop there. It's my line that cannot be crossed and stops me going into a number of popular chains, including Wetherspoons, McDs, and KFC.
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Everything she said is true, plus they have the revolting phone calls similar to what we have to put up with, the idiots who wander around sniggering at everything and putting real customers off, the insane company policies on just about everything they do including where they stand and what they say, and I daresay zero hours contracts nowadays.
They're on minimum wage and are constantly harangued to meet every conceivable target under the sun (selling X packs of batteries a day irrespective of whether they do 10x the daily sales target figure, sales being at X % of footfall even though you can't control people who come into the store just to piss about) just to scrape an extra few quid commission on top of their wages plus being constantly reminded that mystery shoppers are being sent in and having the shadow of being their regions 'bottom' store and named as such to other stores by way of 'motivation'. It's the most cuntish, unreasonable, bullying company I've ever worked for and I applaud everybody who can cope with doing day in day out in one of their stores.
Needless to say I quit, but not before I'd had my say on most of the above :D.
That's awful! I love AS, but mostly because of their underwear - being an E cup, its a pain just trying to get bras on the high street that I actually like (although more companies are realising that women really do come in all shapes and sizes), so most of my undies do come from there. I nip into there to see the toys - weight, feel, etc - but I've often just bought them online if they're cheaper. And it is nice, like VS said, to be able to have an adult conversation with someone about sex toys - plenty of us use them, so what's wrong with having a discussion about it?
It does give you food for thought though, it would put me off just going in for a wander now given that it negatively impacts the staff. Usually I'd say I won't shop there either as I have a complete aversion to zero hours contracts, but I also would hate to think of people who are just trying to support themselves being negatively impacted either - and ultimately it's always the store staff who suffer in these organisations.
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I may have mentioned it before, but the Good Vibrations: True Story of "Ann Summers" book by Jacqueline Gold is printed in the most unreadable typeface I've ever seen in a book. Then you manage to read it and wonder if it was the production editor going 'I've had to read this crap, I will do my best to save you from it'.
The last time I was in one, it was the dildo harness made with elastic straps that made me go 'never ever again'.
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Strange noises coming from shall I call it "miss Pinky" down there always embarass me. So loud sometimes!
That happened the other day as I turned round just after doggy.. I went "Oops sorry about that" my (posh) client said "Ooh was that front or back?" I replied sharply "Front of course I'm not that bad to do such a thing!!" ::)
(that time it genuinely was 'miss pinky' but I have proper farted once or twice in bookings :-[)
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On my last tour, I had the usual 'evacuation ' I have with IBS and it ain't clean.
I spend a lot of time with one of those sanitary bags over my hand as I rarely find a hotel that has a toilet brush. ( I used to hate them but I need them now, although the one I have looks like a potted plant ;D)
So, I'm proud of my 'clean' bog and see my client. All good. I then went into the bathroom to wash afterwards and horror of all horrors, the toilet seat was up and smeared with shit on the underside. :-X
I never thought about a bloke lifting the toilet seat!
Guess, I'll not be seeing him again!
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Well, this happened because of work. I was in the post office return in some lingerie to Amazon UK (ya'll have way better stuff, across the board, btw). Anyway there was a customs form that needed to be filled out, and I guess the clerk had never done one before, so there's a long line piling up behind me and she says "What does this say right here? What's in the box?" Me- Lingerie. Her, loudly- "Whaaaaa?" Me, louder and getting pinkish, "Lingerie." Her, "What? How do you spell that?"
Me, loudly in the packed post office, as though I were in a spelling bee, "L I N G E R I E."
Omg it was so awful.
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With me it's the same old embarrassing problem I've had for years, every time I do doggy I do fanny farts, I wonder if other people have this problem? I thought it was because I was small and used too much lube so tried it without and it still happened :FF
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With me it's the same old embarrassing problem I've had for years, every time I do doggy I do fanny farts, I wonder if other people have this problem? I thought it was because I was small and used too much lube so tried it without and it still happened :FF
It's nothing to do with your size, the guy's size or anything else - it just happens with doggy. It's due to air being pushed in and then because you're on all fours, it gets trapped in the vagina until you move, at which point it exits. Loudly :D
If a guy keeps coming all the way out then going back in, it makes it much worse (because more air gets pushed in.) But it happens even when they are just humping normally.
I have got totally used to it and just giggle and say "Oops! That's the only trouble with doggy, it does make my fanny fart!"
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Oh so glad as I thought I was the only one ;)
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I've had queefing as well, I've been with other women who queefed... I think the majority of women do it at some point lol. It's just trapped air, it's not any reflection on your bits :)
Although I have had dicky stomachs when I've been mid booking to have them decide they're going to jerk me in some way, either pulling me suddenly toward them or throwing my legs up. Don't do that! It takes every muscle in my lower body to hold in the fart that's been batting around my insides.
I have endometrosis and at the time didn't know, I just thought I had the periods from hell. Had a reminder in my phone for when my period was meant to come but it did whatever it wanted anyway. Was with one client about a week before this reminder went off, and just felt this burst of pain in my ovary. Carried on thinking 'nah, can't be that, it's too early'. Finished, he withdraws... blood over him, me, and my stomach kicking me to say 'lolllllll fuck you'. Didn't think he would ever book me again but surprisingly he did, and even restored my faith in people a little bit by saying something like he didn't understand why people were squeamish over a normal function. I've been with women who made me feel shit about my Carrie-like monthlies, so it was nice to have that kind of mature response to it.
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It's nothing to do with your size, the guy's size or anything else - it just happens with doggy. It's due to air being pushed in and then because you're on all fours, it gets trapped in the vagina until you move, at which point it exits. Loudly :D
If a guy keeps coming all the way out then going back in, it makes it much worse (because more air gets pushed in.) But it happens even when they are just humping normally.
I have got totally used to it and just giggle and say "Oops! That's the only trouble with doggy, it does make my fanny fart!"
I have it happen as well but not with all guys. Mostly with the ones quickly going in and out and somehow not being the "matching size" (long but thin etc). I can literally feel them pushing the air in:)
What I do is the moment they are out, when I roll over, I put a finger inside and "liberate" all that air out. I just say naturally "one second, some air got in" and they really don't mind. Most experienced guys know what I mean.
If there's plenty of air it comes out with a hisssss haha. Better that one huge loud fart though :)
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I will never forget the time I tried to use flavoured condoms for the first time - I had no idea they were the colour of the flavour lol. It didn't help that the guy was whiter than snow and the condom was bright green! In the end he said I am so sorry but I can't concentrate can we use my condoms? Haha I was bright red and couldn't stop apologising but he took it in good humour and even returned a few times after.
It was always a running joke between us and I never bothered with flavoured condoms again once that batch run out.
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I notice that some projects offer these "flavoured condoms", not exactly sure why. Instead, they do not bother offering condoms with different sizes which would be much better use of their funds. Clearly, some sensible projects may well do by knowing that using wrong size condoms in clients can/may slip off easily, raising more sexual health risks in wgs. Not that I'm criticising these projects, it is a shame that flavoured ones are widely available, and different size condoms aren't.
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Well, I had a huge dinner with a client and 2 hours later, back in the room, as he was on top of me, his sizeable stomach kept pushing on mine as he was thrusting inside me. Given our heavy meal, I was feeling rather bloated so his weight on my full belly made me feel sick. 2 minutes later, I was puking my dinner out. Thankfully, he was a regular :-\ :-\
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I notice that some projects offer these "flavoured condoms", not exactly sure why. Instead, they do not bother offering condoms with different sizes which would be much better use of their funds. Clearly, some sensible projects may well do by knowing that using wrong size condoms in clients can/may slip off easily, raising more sexual health risks in wgs. Not that I'm criticising these projects, it is a shame that flavoured ones are widely available, and different size condoms aren't.
I suspect it's probably because condom makers donate their unused stock to various projects. I think most people who have tried flavoured condoms have bought a packet of three, used one, and thrown away the other two :D
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I suspect it's probably because condom makers donate their unused stock to various projects. I think most people who have tried flavoured condoms have bought a packet of three, used one, and thrown away the other two :D
I had dental dams when I was younger, with flavoured ones. Couldn't get my head around how you used them properly iirc (or just didn't like them; I was about 19 and that was not yesterday), so my mates and I ended up getting very drunk, licking dental dams to see which ones did taste okay. I believe that chocolate tasted like shit, as did banana, but mint wasn't too bad.
Seriously though, I can't stand any flavoured sex thing - dams, condoms, lube, body paint... always find it has a really weird undertaste. Probably the latex for the first two, don't know about lube/body paint :-X
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The other day I was having a lovely snuggle with a regular client of mine.
I was lying on top of him, playing with him with my arm crooked behind his neck.
When we were chatting afterwards I noticed with alarm that my forearm was purple and mottled - very seriously. I rolled a glass tumbler ontop of it to check for meningitis - it didn't disappear. Fuck. He said what the hell has happened to your arm. I didn't know, it looked awful - deep purple. I said maybe I should call an ambulance - as I had a purple mottled rash that didn't disappear when pressed with glass. I was panicking.
He then said I'm sorry but I think that might be the colourant I put in my hair? (Sure enough he was a deep strawberry blonde English man) and indeed it did wash off! I can laugh about it now
Quite a relief x
Ps no ambulance was called!
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Last Saturday I had this lovely smoking hot client.
I was ovulating and I just go crazy when I ovulate so I was really horny. So there we are all passion and flame in my bed and he says he can't believe I'm that horny.
Suddenly I just said "oh yeah I'm ovulating!"
There was this instant flash of panic in his eyes and I froze realising how it must have sounded. And then we just started laughing crazy.
He called me this morning asking if I could do some ovulating at noon ;D
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I'm working with a bit of a cold this week, mostly just a bunged up nose.
Giving a client a blow job yesterday and I went a bit deep which made me gag and this huge snot bubble came out all over my face!
Neither of us knew where to look as I frantically grabbed at the wipes and strangely enough , he never managed to finish either!
I think maybe the moment was lost hahaha
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I suspect it's probably because condom makers donate their unused stock to various projects. I think most people who have tried flavoured condoms have bought a packet of three, used one, and thrown away the other two :D
hahahahaha..!!! That's probably so TRUE!
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Seriously though, I can't stand any flavoured sex thing - dams, condoms, lube, body paint... always find it has a really weird undertaste. Probably the latex for the first two, don't know about lube/body paint :-X
You're not alone. It's an essentially artificial flavouring, likely with E numbers.
Not that I am criticising, there's very little justification as to why "projects" give away flavoured condoms, apart from the reason VC pointed out. They must be so unpopular, nobody wants to buy them, ending up with a huge surplus/unsold stock, dumped at "the financially challenged projects" in some areas in the UK. I know they are free, so I shouldn't complain about the freebies. But I don't use them and still buy decent condoms with different sizes to protect my own health. If you are a SW, you do realise that most men have their unique size, nothing "regular-size" about their endowment. It's like supermarket's uniform size apples or cucumbers. Farmers know that there are different sizes and shapes but supermarkets don't want non-standard sizes or non-standard shapes. ;D
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Well, this didn't happen at work but work related. I had a little too much too drink and then drunk emailed my favorite reg I had been thinking all week about. Luckily it was nothing too embarrassing :FF :FF :FF
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A couple of years ago I was working from my house. I had my rather large dog with me who is well trained, quiet and only responds when is spoken to. He was also used to some cute names that my boyfriend's daughter called him. At the time he was kept at the second bedroom. I have the habit of not closing bedroom doors completely.
I received a new client who was shy and nervous. I showed him upstairs and asked if he wanted a drink. He asked for water so I went to fetch it.
While pouring water, I decided to break the silence.
Me: "SO WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE POSITION?"
Him: "DOGGY!"
Me thinking "I haven't heard that one before..."
I went upstairs and lo and behold, my dog was sitting at the doorstep of the working room with my huge 17 inch big boy dildo in his mouth staring at the client. I was given that dildo as a present and never used it but had given it to my dog as a toy.
The poor man's expression was priceless. He was staring back my dog in fear and then glanced at me with a certain "Please don't!" look on his face.
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A couple of years ago I was working from my house. I had my rather large dog with me who is well trained, quiet and only responds when is spoken to. He was also used to some cute names that my boyfriend's daughter called him. At the time he was kept at the second bedroom. I have the habit of not closing bedroom doors completely.
I received a new client who was shy and nervous. I showed him upstairs and asked if he wanted a drink. He asked for water so I went to fetch it.
While pouring water, I decided to break the silence.
Me: "SO WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE POSITION?"
Him: "DOGGY!"
Me thinking "I haven't heard that one before..."
I went upstairs and lo and behold, my dog was sitting at the doorstep of the working room with my huge 17 inch big boy dildo in his mouth staring at the client. I was given that dildo as a present and never used it but had given it to my dog as a toy.
The poor man's expression was priceless. He was staring back my dog in fear and then glanced at me with a certain "Please don't!" look on his face.
That is absolutely priceless!!!!!!! You've made my day 😂
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Sat here doubled up with laughter!!! Thanks for sharing that!!!! X
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With me it's the same old embarrassing problem I've had for years, every time I do doggy I do fanny farts, I wonder if other people have this problem? I thought it was because I was small and used too much lube so tried it without and it still happened :FF
Omg i had the worse case of the fanny farts the other day with a client. Cant remember what he did exactly to cause this but it was going on for ages, just kept fanny farting, wouldn't stop! I was SOOOO embarrassed and kept saying ' Sorry, Sorry i don't know whats wrong with me? He laughed and said? 'Oh no its fine i like it? HE LIKED IT ::)
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Omg i had the worse case of the fanny farts the other day with a client. Cant remember what he did exactly to cause this but it was going on for ages, just kept fanny farting, wouldn't stop! I was SOOOO embarrassed and kept saying ' Sorry, Sorry i don't know whats wrong with me? He laughed and said? 'Oh no its fine i like it? HE LIKED IT ::)
My boyfriend once told me "It's like a warm hairdryer blowing against my bollocks" ;D ;D ;D
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Rushing doing two things at once, well 5 , brushed teeth, put mouthwash in, rushing client on way , kept mouthwash in mouth, did a quick pee, still with mouthwash in ...opened legs and spat down loo .
OMG a fire fufu just as he was arriving , no time to rinse , he must of though "fuck she smells fresh"
!!!! ;D
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My flat is exposed East. 30 degrees this week, silly me left the balcony dooor and curtains open. Sauna inside my flat. So I had my massive fan on, put bowls with cold water all around, took a very last minute cold shower.
A lovely gent arrives in the evening with a bottle of perfectly chilled wine. We start by having some in my living room, sitting on the sofa romantically sipping on our wine and I can feel those huge drops of sweat dripping down my face... I was just melting like Olaf.
He said I looked really sexy all sweaty ???
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My flat is exposed East. 30 degrees this week, silly me left the balcony dooor and curtains open. Sauna inside my flat. So I had my massive fan on, put bowls with cold water all around, took a very last minute cold shower.
A lovely gent arrives in the evening with a bottle of perfectly chilled wine. We start by having some in my living room, sitting on the sofa romantically sipping on our wine and I can feel those huge drops of sweat dripping down my face... I was just melting like Olaf.
He said I looked really sexy all sweaty ???
Haha ha it have lovely curly hair !!! ffs! Nearly melted into pavement yest , ankles huge lol just took some pics in PVC !
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Haha ha it have lovely curly hair !!! ffs! Nearly melted into pavement yest , ankles huge lol just took some pics in PVC !
Sheep. I just look like a sheep after each booking. I seriously don't know what to do with my hair anymore, it's freaking Afro! Where's that thread about hair lol?
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Lol , we are two sheepskin in a pod ! , make up keeps sliding off onto phone too !! I have a tan phone !
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Well, this happened because of work. I was in the post office return in some lingerie to Amazon UK (ya'll have way better stuff, across the board, btw). Anyway there was a customs form that needed to be filled out, and I guess the clerk had never done one before, so there's a long line piling up behind me and she says "What does this say right here? What's in the box?" Me- Lingerie. Her, loudly- "Whaaaaa?" Me, louder and getting pinkish, "Lingerie." Her, "What? How do you spell that?"
Me, loudly in the packed post office, as though I were in a spelling bee, "L I N G E R I E."
Omg it was so awful.
On the very few occasions I needed to return something (personal or adult stuff) and am asked at the PO counter what the parcel contains I just say a T shirt. You do not need to embarrass anyone or yourself by divulging the real contents.
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Just read this thread for the first time I think and wondering about some of my own embarrassing memories. Not many thankfully but I do recall a man I met just twice and I know why the second time was the last.
First visit was just fine but I did notice his hair looked very thick and healthy for a man of his maturity (can you guess what is coming?) and remember thinking it was probably a piece/wig so trod carefully through the booking. Men are so sensitive about their fake hair while women are much more open about it as many of us use extensions etc ( I do not though)
Second visit and all going great but I should have thought more when choosing my jewellery. A little charm bracelet was unwise as I was on top of him and had my hands either side of his head to steady myself. Bracelet got caught in his hair but he didn't know it as his head was flat on the pillow. I panicked inside so quickly had to think on my feet (or knees!) and managed to unravel the bracelet from his hair but the hairpiece moved just a little. He could feel this and although the moment had passed and nothing was said I could tell without a doubt he knew that I knew. I cringed for the rest of the booking.
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With me it's the same old embarrassing problem I've had for years, every time I do doggy I do fanny farts, I wonder if other people have this problem? I thought it was because I was small and used too much lube so tried it without and it still happened :FF
Your not alone on this... I just laugh at it but deep down I'm dying of embarrassment
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Had a new client the other day. During oral on him I moved my bottom to get comfortable and let out an enormous fart. I had no control of this and it just came out :-\ I felt like dying. Luckily he laughed about it and I carried on. Thank goodness he was so nice about it. I was fucking horrified.
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I never thought it would happen to my glorious gorgeous person (this is sarcasm) but it finally did.
Last week I had this gorgeous older guy, say a perfect combo of a young Leonard Cohen RIP and one of my ex boyfriends. So I was all over the moon.
And then I farted...
Funny thing is he didn't care, somehow it made me not care and we just kept on doing whatever we were doing. Just can't believe I farted on this one amazing guy :FF :FF :FF
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I never thought it would happen to my glorious gorgeous person (this is sarcasm) but it finally did.
Last week I had this gorgeous older guy, say a perfect combo of a young Leonard Cohen RIP and one of my ex boyfriends. So I was all over the moon.
And then I farted...
Funny thing is he didn't care, somehow it made me not care and we just kept on doing whatever we were doing. Just can't believe I farted on this one amazing guy :FF :FF :FF
So glad thy I'm
Not the only one who is farting
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A couple of years ago I was working from my house. I had my rather large dog with me who is well trained, quiet and only responds when is spoken to. He was also used to some cute names that my boyfriend's daughter called him. At the time he was kept at the second bedroom. I have the habit of not closing bedroom doors completely.
I received a new client who was shy and nervous. I showed him upstairs and asked if he wanted a drink. He asked for water so I went to fetch it.
While pouring water, I decided to break the silence.
Me: "SO WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE POSITION?"
Him: "DOGGY!"
Me thinking "I haven't heard that one before..."
I went upstairs and lo and behold, my dog was sitting at the doorstep of the working room with my huge 17 inch big boy dildo in his mouth staring at the client. I was given that dildo as a present and never used it but had given it to my dog as a toy.
The poor man's expression was priceless. He was staring back my dog in fear and then glanced at me with a certain "Please don't!" look on his face.
Loool this has made me laugh, something similar happened to a girl I know when she started getting down to biz and her dog jumped on the bed, I laugh every time I think about it.
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An client had lace up shoes and just slipped them off when undressing. Come the time to dress again and he thought he could just slip them back on. Wrong! His feet would not fit in unless he untied the laces and they were knotted so tight it was impossible. He struggled and I offered to help. He refused and wanted to do it himself so I went to the loo to give him time. When I came back he was no nearer undoing the laces and agreed to let me have a go. My nails got in the way and it was not happening. Eventually I had to cut them with scissors and then his shoes went on fine but were too slack.
He kept his cool and so did I but I wanted to laugh so much as I saw him trying to walk normally while struggling to keep the shoes on. He was probably mortified with embarrassment. No he has not been back. ;D
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An client had lace up shoes and just slipped them off when undressing. Come the time to dress again and he thought he could just slip them back on. Wrong! His feet would not fit in unless he untied the laces and they were knotted so tight it was impossible. He struggled and I offered to help. He refused and wanted to do it himself so I went to the loo to give him time. When I came back he was no nearer undoing the laces and agreed to let me have a go. My nails got in the way and it was not happening. Eventually I had to cut them with scissors and then his shoes went on fine but were too slack.
He kept his cool and so did I but I wanted to laugh so much as I saw him trying to walk normally while struggling to keep the shoes on. He was probably mortified with embarrassment. No he has not been back. ;D
I would have been in stitches and nicknamed him flipper or pingu, there is no way on earth I could keep a straight face if this happened with me, I am a bit bad for ripping clients but then my clients rip me too, imagine if your neighbours know what you do and saw him shuffling out of there....... too funny ;D
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Had a client due at 1.15, dead on 1.15 the door goes so I go to answer it in a sheer see through lacy dress and it's the avon lady an hour late! Thank god I always hide behind the door when letting clients in. Had to tell her just a minute throw a coat over me and ask her to call back as I had company.
Thankfully the client was five minutes late or they would have arrived at the same time, first time ever I've been glad a client is late. Still blushing now!
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Too much lube too much noises the faster the guy moved in me the louder it got until he pulled out one huge fart sound follows by few little ones I had no control he just laughed glad it was the end of the booking!!
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Yesterday I was ina rush to get to a booking and was running down the road when - what falls out of my bag?? ONLY A FUCKING VIBRATOR... In the middle of the city at rush hour ffs lol :o
I went back to get it as some guy was bending over to pick it up - the look on his face when he registered what it was ::)
I quickly picked it up and continued running far far away from the scene of the crime ;D
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Yesterday I was ina rush to get to a booking and was running down the road when - what falls out of my bag?? ONLY A FUCKING VIBRATOR... In the middle of the city at rush hour ffs lol :o
I went back to get it as some guy was bending over to pick it up - the look on his face when he registered what it was ::)
I quickly picked it up and continued running far far away from the scene of the crime ;D
This is priceless. You beat us all!
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I have had a few but I think this one tops it off.
I was seeing a regular and he booked this really beautiful hotel room. It had a really lovely romantic bath, the only trouble was it was really deep. The client suggests a role-play scene. (I was not really comfortable with it) but it was an overnight booking and I wanted him to have a nice experience. He also asked to film it. (Again normally I did not allow filming but I was a bit naive at the time and made him the exception.
So he fills the bath up and wants me to get in it to start filming this role-play. I get in the bath but it is sooo deep that I just keep floating upwards!! I can barely control any of my movement in this bloody bath let alone go along with this role-play thing.
In the end, I could not stop laughing. ;D ;D ;D
Another one was during a duo booking and said client had brought me a REAL school uniform that actually stank of smoke. It was so gross. These days I would refuse but again back in the day I did not want to offend anyone. So I put this bloody uniform on whilst my duo partner tries not to catch my eye because we would both just start laughing. Luckily she did not get an outfit given to her!!
And then on the bed, we are getting it on and I and my friend just could not stop laughing and I actually ended up peeing a little from laughing so much. Luckily everyone saw the funny side in it! And thankfully he did not understand that we were giggling at the booking, he thought we were laughing at his jokes. Bless him.
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Anyhoo, the booking progresses and it's all going fine. Then, as I move to go down on the guy, I notice my cat sitting on top of the wardrobe (which stands against the pillow end of the bed) looking down on us with what I can only describe as an expression of alarm on his face. The client doesn't seem to have spotted him so I just carry on, hoping desperately he'll stay up there and keep quiet. After watching about 2 mins of oral cat decides he wants out and jumps down off the wardrobe landing with a massive thud, on the pillow right next to my client's face. I felt so bad for my client - he almost jumped out of his skin! I bundled cat into the kitchen and apologised profusely.
Nearly wetting myself here !! I have cats too! x
Howling here I have 7 cats, they are bastards lol
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Too much lube too much noises the faster the guy moved in me the louder it got until he pulled out one huge fart sound follows by few little ones I had no control he just laughed glad it was the end of the booking!!
This!!! I had this with a really nice regular but he stopped seeing me afterwards which I put down to the fanny fart lol
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I worked with an agency once back in 2011 and the driver took me to a job and when I got to the street then I recognised it as having been there the week before on a job so off I go from the car and walk up the clients path and I see him sitting in the livingroom reading something, I waved through the window and he didn’t wave back, I thought nothing of it and went to the door and knocked on it, he didn’t answer so I tapped again and he still didn’t answer, I ended up standing there for a few minutes and wondered wtf was going on so I went up to the livingroom window again and still the client was sitting there so I started banging on the window frantically and STILL he ignored me, I’m not the most patient person in the world so I then started going mental and shouting about how he was a time waster and he better pay the £30 cancellation fee or else my boss would send ‘the boys’ down to sort him out and STILL he kept sitting there and yet he wasn’t looking at me...well 1 minute later my crazy boss calls me asking where the fuck I am as the client has been on the phone asking why am I not there yet, well it turns out I was in the right street but at the wrong door and I had been with the guy (who was ignoring me being a fruitcake at his door) before but this time it was a different one!!!
Nothing ever became of the guy I went mental at, no complaints or anything and the client whose house I was actually meant to go too thought it hilarious but I didn’t say which door even though he kept asking, it still makes me laugh to this day! ;D
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Had a couple lines with a client and midway through realised it was cut with baby laxative ??? It's a healthier alternative to more dubious fillers I guess. Had a quick poo-break, showered my arse and got back in the saddle.
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I worked with an agency once back in 2011 and the driver took me to a job and when I got to the street then I recognised it as having been there the week before on a job so off I go from the car and walk up the clients path and I see him sitting in the livingroom reading something, I waved through the window and he didn’t wave back, I thought nothing of it and went to the door and knocked on it, he didn’t answer so I tapped again and he still didn’t answer, I ended up standing there for a few minutes and wondered wtf was going on so I went up to the livingroom window again and still the client was sitting there so I started banging on the window frantically and STILL he ignored me, I’m not the most patient person in the world so I then started going mental and shouting about how he was a time waster and he better pay the £30 cancellation fee or else my boss would send ‘the boys’ down to sort him out and STILL he kept sitting there and yet he wasn’t looking at me...well 1 minute later my crazy boss calls me asking where the fuck I am as the client has been on the phone asking why am I not there yet, well it turns out I was in the right street but at the wrong door and I had been with the guy (who was ignoring me being a fruitcake at his door) before but this time it was a different one!!!
Nothing ever became of the guy I went mental at, no complaints or anything and the client whose house I was actually meant to go too thought it hilarious but I didn’t say which door even though he kept asking, it still makes me laugh to this day! ;D
LOL :)
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Had a couple lines with a client and midway through realised it was cut with baby laxative ??? It's a healthier alternative to more dubious fillers I guess. Had a quick poo-break, showered my arse and got back in the saddle.
LOL ;D
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Had a couple lines with a client and midway through realised it was cut with baby laxative ??? It's a healthier alternative to more dubious fillers I guess. Had a quick poo-break, showered my arse and got back in the saddle.
This......I can relate to on a personal level. I applaud you sister!
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:)
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Was bent over on all fours with a guy’s face buried in my ass as he licked away at the hole last night. Unfortunately, my stomach was bubbling and I was fake moaning while pulling pained faces as I held in the biggest fart in the world 😂 managed to get away with it, but it was a close one
X
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Was bent over on all fours with a guy’s face buried in my ass as he licked away at the hole last night. Unfortunately, my stomach was bubbling and I was fake moaning while pulling pained faces as I held in the biggest fart in the world 😂 managed to get away with it, but it was a close one
X
Natural bodily functions can take place at inappropriate times, haha :)
I have never heard a client fart, they must be holding it in too!
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I worked happily in a working flat, the client was quite dishy, I thought, this'll be fun! His face came over a bit dubious when he asked, 'Are you a man'?. The maid had shown him into the wrong room. My tranny bud was wondering where his client was. Good job he mentioned it before we got jiggy.
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I worked happily in a working flat, the client was quite dishy, I thought, this'll be fun! His face came over a bit dubious when he asked, 'Are you a man'?. The maid had shown him into the wrong room. My tranny bud was wondering where his client was. Good job he mentioned it before we got jiggy.
;D, LOL
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This is not really funny but embarrassing.
I'd had a few drinks one night and my boyfriend said he was missing me so we were sexting and I decided to try out this new sexy outfit and send him a photo and a saucy text before I hit the sack.
The next morning I get a text from a very excited client saying how much he loved the photo and couldn't wait to see me in it. I haven't had the courage to tell him that wasn't for him.
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I worked with an agency once back in 2011 and the driver took me to a job and when I got to the street then I recognised it as having been there the week before on a job so off I go from the car and walk up the clients path and I see him sitting in the livingroom reading something, I waved through the window and he didn’t wave back, I thought nothing of it and went to the door and knocked on it, he didn’t answer so I tapped again and he still didn’t answer, I ended up standing there for a few minutes and wondered wtf was going on so I went up to the livingroom window again and still the client was sitting there so I started banging on the window frantically and STILL he ignored me, I’m not the most patient person in the world so I then started going mental and shouting about how he was a time waster and he better pay the £30 cancellation fee or else my boss would send ‘the boys’ down to sort him out and STILL he kept sitting there and yet he wasn’t looking at me...well 1 minute later my crazy boss calls me asking where the fuck I am as the client has been on the phone asking why am I not there yet, well it turns out I was in the right street but at the wrong door and I had been with the guy (who was ignoring me being a fruitcake at his door) before but this time it was a different one!!!
Nothing ever became of the guy I went mental at, no complaints or anything and the client whose house I was actually meant to go too thought it hilarious but I didn’t say which door even though he kept asking, it still makes me laugh to this day! ;D
This is hilarious!!!! So funny!!!
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This is not really funny but very embarrassing for me!
Today I went to check into my usual apartments I work from, Ive worked from there once a week since May. The owners (3 good looking men) are so lovely and bend over backwards to accommodate me. When I went today one of the owners (best looking one IMO) informs me that the last time I worked there a gentleman was seen leaving my apartment and 30 minutes later a different gentleman was seen arriving so they have looked at the cctv and need to inform me that while the lock down is happening I’m not allowed to have so many “guests” coming and going, I wanted the floor to swallow me up, it’s obvious what I’m doing having 5/6 different men visiting my apartment. I cancelled my booking for today face to face which is more embarrassing as it showed I was planning on having guests but I thought no point paying 65.00 for a room and not being able to see anyone.
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This is not really funny but very embarrassing for me!
Today I went to check into my usual apartments I work from, Ive worked from there once a week since May. The owners (3 good looking men) are so lovely and bend over backwards to accommodate me. When I went today one of the owners (best looking one IMO) informs me that the last time I worked there a gentleman was seen leaving my apartment and 30 minutes later a different gentleman was seen arriving so they have looked at the cctv and need to inform me that while the lock down is happening I’m not allowed to have so many “guests” coming and going, I wanted the floor to swallow me up, it’s obvious what I’m doing having 5/6 different men visiting my apartment. I cancelled my booking for today face to face which is more embarrassing as it showed I was planning on having guests but I thought no point paying 65.00 for a room and not being able to see anyone.
I understand why you feel embarrassed, but from your description there is no reason to. It sounds like the owners know you, support you, and best of all know what’s going on while they support you. Their only concern is related to the coronavirus lockdown, which isn’t your fault. It sounds like continuing to be extra nice to them will be very helpful to you in the future (after lockdown ends)...