I've had queefing as well, I've been with other women who queefed... I think the majority of women do it at some point lol. It's just trapped air, it's not any reflection on your bits

Although I have had dicky stomachs when I've been mid booking to have them decide they're going to jerk me in some way, either pulling me suddenly toward them or throwing my legs up. Don't do that! It takes every muscle in my lower body to hold in the fart that's been batting around my insides.

I have endometrosis and at the time didn't know, I just thought I had the periods from hell. Had a reminder in my phone for when my period was meant to come but it did whatever it wanted anyway. Was with one client about a week before this reminder went off, and just felt this burst of pain in my ovary. Carried on thinking 'nah, can't be that, it's too early'. Finished, he withdraws... blood over him, me, and my stomach kicking me to say 'lolllllll fuck you'. Didn't think he would ever book me again but surprisingly he did, and even restored my faith in people a little bit by saying something like he didn't understand why people were squeamish over a normal function. I've been with women who made me feel shit about my Carrie-like monthlies, so it was nice to have that kind of mature response to it.

I will never forget the time I tried to use flavoured condoms for the first time - I had no idea they were the colour of the flavour lol. It didn't help that the guy was whiter than snow and the condom was bright green! In the end he said I am so sorry but I can't concentrate can we use my condoms? Haha I was bright red and couldn't stop apologising but he took it in good humour and even returned a few times after.

It was always a running joke between us and I never bothered with flavoured condoms again once that batch run out.

Well, I had a huge dinner with a client and 2 hours later, back in the room, as he was on top of me, his sizeable stomach kept pushing on mine as he was thrusting inside me. Given our heavy meal, I was feeling rather bloated so his weight on my full belly made me feel sick. 2 minutes later, I was puking my dinner out. Thankfully, he was a regular 

I suspect it's probably because condom makers donate their unused stock to various projects. I think most people who have tried flavoured condoms have bought a packet of three, used one, and thrown away the other two 

I had dental dams when I was younger, with flavoured ones. Couldn't get my head around how you used them properly iirc (or just didn't like them; I was about 19 and that was not yesterday), so my mates and I ended up getting very drunk, licking dental dams to see which ones did taste okay. I believe that chocolate tasted like shit, as did banana, but mint wasn't too bad.

Seriously though, I can't stand any flavoured sex thing - dams, condoms, lube, body paint... always find it has a really weird undertaste. Probably the latex for the first two, don't know about lube/body paint

Last Saturday I had this lovely smoking hot client.

I was ovulating and I just go crazy when I ovulate so I was really horny. So there we are all passion and flame in my bed and he says he can't believe I'm that horny.

Suddenly I just said "oh yeah I'm ovulating!"
There was this instant flash of panic in his eyes and I froze realising how it must have sounded. And then we just started laughing crazy.

He called me this morning asking if I could do some ovulating at noon 

I suspect it's probably because condom makers donate their unused stock to various projects. I think most people who have tried flavoured condoms have bought a packet of three, used one, and thrown away the other two 

hahahahaha..!!!  That's probably so TRUE! 

Well, this didn't happen at work but work related. I had a little too much too drink and then drunk emailed my favorite reg I had been thinking all week about. Luckily it was nothing too embarrassing