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Author Topic: Embarrassing (but funny) things that happen with work  (Read 34292 times)

Nia Hope

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Re: Embarrassing (but funny) things that happen with work
« Reply #45 on: 23 September 2016, 07:07:12 pm »
I had a water sports booking and had drunk so much water that my bladder must have been pressing on my bowels or something  ???. Anyway I squatted over the guys mouth to piss and felt my bowels gurgle! My dungeon has an ensuite bathroom and I knew I had to get there double quick. I managed to shackle him to the cross whilst holding it in, put a hood over his head so he couldn't hear so much and get to the toilet just in time!

I won't go into detail but it was nearly a hard sports session  :o
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bristoljen

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Re: Embarrassing (but funny) things that happen with work
« Reply #46 on: 23 September 2016, 09:19:36 pm »
 ;D
I had a water sports booking and had drunk so much water that my bladder must have been pressing on my bowels or something  ???. Anyway I squatted over the guys mouth to piss and felt my bowels gurgle! My dungeon has an ensuite bathroom and I knew I had to get there double quick. I managed to shackle him to the cross whilst holding it in, put a hood over his head so he couldn't hear so much and get to the toilet just in time!

I won't go into detail but it was nearly a hard sports session  :o

 ;D That would have been a domination session he would never forget.

OFFS

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Re: Embarrassing (but funny) things that happen with work
« Reply #47 on: 13 October 2016, 06:22:28 pm »
A non typical Wednesday afternoon. Client one books at 3pm for an hour and to be honest wasn't that vigorous nor involved any anal play whatsoever. Half way through I could hear my stomach churning and towards the end could feel that tight knotting in my bowels. Clenched my arse cheeks together, quickly checked he hadn't left anything and destroyed my poor loo. Went a couple more times and hoped that was it. Took immodium to help my poor stomach. Seems things to settle down and got washed and ready for the next one in 45mins time and just before he came.....my poor bum got to work...again. Jesus, my bathroom smelt like the local sewers, sprayed half a bottle of air freshener, refreshed and the door went. Now bearing in my mind my bathroom is opposite the bedroom closed the door and just prayed he didn't want to use it.
So we get down to business and he is giving me a good pounding in mish which starts my arse off again. I clench every single muscle down there praying for it to be over before I projectile his cock in poo and pray to the please don't let me shit myself god...you know the one, sits right next to please make him come god. Sadly that god wasn't paying attention or was too busy perving so I yell out and say I have cramp in my leg and am forced to sit on my bed and tell him how I want a pearl necklace. He obliges...but probably wondered why I was pulling such awful faces as I'm willing everything to stay in.
He dresses slowly talking away and in my head I'm begging him to leave. Just let yourself out I say...my cramp still hurts.
As the door latch went, raced to the loo and just made it.
45mins till the next one so wash and get made up but of course my bowels haven't finished and I have to go twice more before the next one arrived. Sprayed the bathroom with the remaining spray and close the door. Thankfully this client didn't want a shower pre booking and am glad to say the immodium had finally kicked in. I breath a sigh of relief thinking I had got away with it until the end when he says can I use your bathroom. My face was redder than beetroot and explained major issues with the drainage system. I open the door first and the smell almost knocks me out. Sprayed some impulse and in he goes making a jesus those are bad drains comment....please ground swallow me up.
I didn't dare work anymore that night  :-X

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: Embarrassing (but funny) things that happen with work
« Reply #48 on: 13 October 2016, 08:09:39 pm »
Oh my god OFFS there must be something in the air as I was shitting through the eye of a needle yesterday too! Had to take the day off my civvy job and didn't dare see any punters as I'm sure I would have shat the bed. Fair play to you for going through with the bookings!
And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

amber.xx

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Re: Embarrassing (but funny) things that happen with work
« Reply #49 on: 13 October 2016, 09:30:10 pm »
oh my goodness... these stories are hilarious

Naughtyforty

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Re: Embarrassing (but funny) things that happen with work
« Reply #50 on: 14 October 2016, 10:47:28 pm »
Fanny farting
Enough said  ;D

Emi787

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Re: Embarrassing (but funny) things that happen with work
« Reply #51 on: 15 October 2016, 12:04:07 am »
Opening my apartment door to a a parcel delivery guy I thought was a booked client.

I saw him through my peephole I thought he was my booking so I opened the door standing there in my stripper heels stockings and underwear, and then I immediately noticed the parcel I was like - run away lol!!! door shut I covered myself up a bit before I took delivery. As soon as I put the parcel on my kitchen table I heard my client knock on my door.

I didn't know how to react when I was signing for the parcel. Normally they send a text earlier in the day but that time there was nothing.

Guiltypleasure

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Re: Embarrassing (but funny) things that happen with work
« Reply #52 on: 15 October 2016, 09:32:42 am »
Fanny farting
Enough said  ;D
That's never , ever happened to me , real life , or work, EXCEPT with 3 guys , the last one kept going in and out slowly, doggy and the other two , I don't know.

But it was like I was totally filled up with air , couldn't walk , bend or anything after without a pressure valve sound going off, even went in the bathroom ( two) when he went in one , I went in the other and squeezed most of it out but there was loads and it was noisy ! Not being funny but I'm pretty tight up there ( had an op ) so it's not all baggy letting it in lmao .

Am baffled  ??? And laughing at the thought ooooh

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: Embarrassing (but funny) things that happen with work
« Reply #53 on: 15 October 2016, 09:37:44 am »
I fanny fart on almost any booking that includes doggy. I just giggle. Most guys don't seem to care!
And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

Guiltypleasure

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Re: Embarrassing (but funny) things that happen with work
« Reply #54 on: 15 October 2016, 09:51:55 am »
I fanny fart on almost any booking that includes doggy. I just giggle. Most guys don't seem to care!
Yep it was doggy , but I felt it at the time , I actually thought " hello he's pumping me up like a bicycle tyre " LMFAO

I could be described as a ' bike ' I suppose but not a " pumped up tyre" that's just offensive lol !!!

Oh dear in my flat alone laughing to myself like I've actually finally gone fruit loop

Naughtyforty

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Re: Embarrassing (but funny) things that happen with work
« Reply #55 on: 15 October 2016, 09:00:32 pm »
I fanny fart on almost any booking that includes doggy. I just giggle. Most guys don't seem to care!

Haha, yeah I laugh too but unfortunately not all the punters have a sense of humour.
It makes it a tad awkward

Sexymilf

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Re: Embarrassing (but funny) things that happen with work
« Reply #56 on: 17 October 2016, 02:43:56 pm »
I answered the door in stckings and high heels thinking it was my client but it was a young guy and girl about 20yo doing a survey!!  I darted behind the door and mummbled something about i thought you was someone else and sorry havent got time.  Lol the guys eyes popped open!!

OFFS

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Re: Embarrassing (but funny) things that happen with work
« Reply #57 on: 28 November 2016, 03:25:29 pm »
I had rented an apartment whilst on tour over the weekend. My first job was a newbie so quite shy and anxious. We chatted for a bit to calm his nerves before getting down to business. He was quite fit and very passionate and was quite enjoying my time with him. He was naked on a make shift bed on the floor (due to very cheap squeaky beds) and I was in my black basque and hold ups sucking his cock. I suddenly hear the squeaky front door open, he jumps up and hides behind the door. By the time my boobs were back in my basque, the person who had entered was at the bedroom. I spring out and it turns out its the cleaner who thought that I was checking out that morning. The poor cleaners eyes were on stalks and he apologises profusely. Thankfully the client wasn't freaked out and we continued our session.

Luciexx

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Re: Embarrassing (but funny) things that happen with work
« Reply #58 on: 28 November 2016, 11:02:11 pm »
Anal accidents!  One gets so used to it but geeze, didn't like it when I saw some brown stain on my work spread!    :o :o

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: Embarrassing (but funny) things that happen with work
« Reply #59 on: 30 November 2016, 10:53:14 am »
This weekend a client asked to use the shower after the booking, I said fine, turned the water on for him cos my shower is dodgy. He came out 5 mins later and left, he looked a bit funny but I thought he was probably having a guilt attack. I then went to use the loo, and looked down to see I'd left a turd floating in there. Yes definitely mine LOL  :-[
And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress