I used to see this guy who loved to be very aggressively dominated as part of an outcall. He would like to pretend to be asleep; meanwhile I would creep in, (he left the front door on the latch) take the money (in the hallway) then storm into his room, straddle him whilst he was still in bed, slap him across the face and basically be a real slutty, physically aggressive jealous bitch to him. He loved it and this roleplay was something we'd done many times before.

So, he moved house and gave me the new directions as to how to creep in and "surprise" him whilst he was as usual sleeping alone in his darkened bedroom. Creep in the front door, take money on hallway table, creep up stairs and his bedroom is the first on the right. Great.

So I do this, see a huddled figure under the duvet. So do my best "jealous mental bitch" act which he loves - fling my handbag hard down on the floor with a crash, and scream "So you think you can just fucking walk out on me then do you, you absolute bastard!"

Cue lights on and terrified looking female Japanese student in a single bed looking up at me. I apologised profusely and ran out.

Then client (woken by the screaming) called me to say "Did I say first on the right? I meant left."

Hence why he's now an ex client.

Quote from: OFFS on 21 November 2015, 07:22:07 am

My client had got some remote control vibrating love eggs. He asked if I would use them and as they were sealed in the pack I said yes. Shove them in and he plays with the remote. They didn't really do much so when it came down to sex time, I open my legs and he tries to pull them out....snap....the string broke. So there I am with these vibrating love eggs stuck in my fanny and we couldn't turn them off. He was trying all kinds of ways to get them out telling me to squat and push them out (wtf) and fingering my bum trying to push them out but they wouldn't budge.
We cut the visit short and off I go to A and E. On reception were two young fit men which made me die of embarrassment explaining my issue whilst you can hear an obvious humming from my fanny. Take a seat to wait I was told (in a heaving A and E) but I was scared the plastic seats would intensify the vibration noise. I opted to stand and wait and after 15 mins these flipping balls are finally working and feeling very nice, very very nice to be honest and I was close to cumming. Terrified I might cum in the waiting area, I explain the issue to the two fit desk people who tried hard not to smirk but did get someone straight away.
Legs a kimbo, the lady doctor finally got these balls out but I didn't have the remote to turn them off. She threw them into her bin which was of course metal and made them sound even worse. She fished them out and it took 3 of us to work out how to take the batteries out.

I honestly could have died of shame. The doctor was great and told me she had seen worse and last week had to remove batteries out of a mans bum as he'd used the vibrator the wrong way round....nice!!

I watched a programme once called bizarre ER where a guy came in and said HE FELL on the toilet brush 

Fell on it bare arsehole first and couldn't get it out, what are the chances?

So yeah they probably have seen worse but that was a funny story anyway.

I reckon I would have stayed at home and gave birth to them myself though or would have got a friend round to get them out