A couple of years ago I was working from my house. I had my rather large dog with me who is well trained, quiet and only responds when is spoken to. He was also used to some cute names that my boyfriend's daughter called him. At the time he was kept at the second bedroom. I have the habit of not closing bedroom doors completely.

I received a new client who was shy and nervous. I showed him upstairs and asked if he wanted a drink. He asked for water so I went to fetch it.

While pouring water, I decided to break the silence.

Me: "SO WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE POSITION?"
Him: "DOGGY!"
Me thinking "I haven't heard that one before..."

I went upstairs and lo and behold, my dog was sitting at the doorstep of the working room with my huge 17 inch big boy dildo in his mouth staring at the client. I was given that dildo as a present and never used it but had given it to my dog as a toy.

The poor man's expression was priceless. He was staring back my dog in fear and then glanced at me with a certain "Please don't!" look on his face.

That is absolutely priceless!!!!!!! You've made my day 😂

With me it's the same old embarrassing problem I've had for years, every time I do doggy I do fanny farts, I wonder if other people have this problem? I thought it was because I was small and used too much lube so tried it without and it still happened 

Omg i had the worse case of the fanny farts the other day with a client. Cant remember what he did exactly to cause this but it was going on for ages, just kept fanny farting, wouldn't stop!  I was SOOOO embarrassed and kept saying ' Sorry, Sorry i don't know whats wrong with me? He laughed and said? 'Oh no its fine i like it? HE LIKED IT 

Rushing doing two things at once, well 5 , brushed teeth, put mouthwash in, rushing client on way , kept mouthwash in mouth, did a quick pee, still with mouthwash in ...opened legs and spat down loo .

OMG a fire fufu just as he was arriving , no time to rinse , he must of though "fuck she smells fresh"
!!!! 

My flat is exposed East. 30 degrees this week, silly me left the balcony dooor and curtains open. Sauna inside my flat. So I had my massive fan on, put bowls with cold water all around, took a very last minute cold shower.
A lovely gent arrives in the evening with a bottle of perfectly chilled wine. We start by having some in my living room, sitting on the sofa romantically sipping on our wine and I can feel those huge drops of sweat dripping down my face... I was just melting like Olaf.
He said I looked really sexy all sweaty 

Haha ha it have lovely curly hair !!! ffs! Nearly melted into pavement yest , ankles huge lol just took some pics in PVC !

Lol , we are two sheepskin in a pod ! , make up keeps sliding off onto phone too !! I have a tan phone !

Just read this thread for the first time I think and wondering about some of my own embarrassing memories. Not many thankfully but I do recall a man I met just twice and I know why the second time was the last.

First visit was just fine but I did notice his hair looked very thick and healthy for a man of his maturity (can you guess what is coming?) and remember thinking it was probably a piece/wig so trod carefully through the booking. Men are so sensitive about their  fake hair while women are much more open about it as many of us use extensions etc ( I do not though)

Second visit and all going great but I should have thought more when choosing my jewellery. A little charm bracelet was unwise as I was on top of him and had my hands either side of his head to steady myself. Bracelet got caught in his hair but he didn't know it as his head was flat on the pillow. I panicked inside so quickly had to think on my feet (or knees!) and managed to unravel the bracelet from his hair but the hairpiece moved just a little. He could feel this and although the moment had passed and nothing was said I could tell without a doubt he knew that I knew. I cringed for the rest of the booking.

Had a new client the other day. During oral on him I moved my bottom to get comfortable and let out an enormous fart. I had no control of this and it just came out  I felt like dying. Luckily he laughed about it and I carried on. Thank goodness he was so nice about it. I was fucking horrified.

I never thought it would happen to my glorious gorgeous person (this is sarcasm) but it finally did.
Last week I had this gorgeous older guy, say a perfect combo of a young Leonard Cohen RIP and one of my ex boyfriends. So I was all over the moon.
And then I farted...
Funny thing is he didn't care, somehow it made me not care and we just kept on doing whatever we were doing. Just can't believe I farted on this one amazing guy 

So glad thy I'm
Not the only one who is farting