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Author Topic: Was I wrong to be honest?  (Read 3766 times)

ladyjennaj

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Was I wrong to be honest?
« on: 05 August 2012, 01:55:01 pm »
I broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago, and I wanted to vent it out here. I confessed to being a working girl - after about two monthes of getting to know eachother and deciding to take the plunge into 'relationship' territory. I told him over coffee at my house, and he stormed out. Infact, he threw his coffee in my face and walked out the door. Now, he seemed a decent guy. Kind, thoughtful, sensitive, intelligent and great fun. I really liked him, but I wasn't prepared to lie to him. I value honesty above everything, but now I'm regretting saying anything at all. I didn't hear from him for four days, and I definitely didn't chase him, and eventually I recieved a text calling me a 'nasty filthy whore,' who 'was impossible to love, because you're disgusting.' Charming.

I am hurt, but I will survive  ;) I'm just wondering if I was wrong to be honest? I'm also highly irritated by how judgemental and narrow-minded people are. I have had similar experienced with men in the past. Why can't they handle it?

Gah, back to spooning my pillow  ;D

Taylor

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Re: Was I wrong to be honest?
« Reply #1 on: 05 August 2012, 02:04:29 pm »
JennaJ big hugs, something similar happened to me.. I was honest, he called me names but then he seemed ok with it... but the sex life was non exsistant and i felt i had become his cash machine :(

I find it really hard to date , i just tell people i am an adult model now.

its a difficult one :(
♥"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." Marilyn Monroe♥

casey_kisses

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Re: Was I wrong to be honest?
« Reply #2 on: 05 August 2012, 02:19:50 pm »
damned if you do, damned if you don't.  :(

Well at least you are in good company at the moment:

http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=10794.msg85242#msg85242

Hope you're ok, break up's are never nice.

xx
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
- Albus Dumbledore

Oriana

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Re: Was I wrong to be honest?
« Reply #3 on: 05 August 2012, 02:42:28 pm »
Aw, Jenna, big (((hug))) for you!
Don't give up, there is sun after every storm.
"Living never wore one out so much as the effort not to live." Anais Nin

Vampera

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Re: Was I wrong to be honest?
« Reply #4 on: 05 August 2012, 03:20:24 pm »
Oh you poor love....that's HORRIBLE!!!!  For him to throw coffee in your face and then send you an abusive Text Message....

To be honest it sounds like it is HIS problem NOT yours.....don't you take it on board....You and you alone know why you do this Job and how you feel about it and don't let him take that away from you.

There ARE honest, loving, easygoing Guys out there who will understand what you're doing....You just have to find the one for you.....don't settle for anything less than a Man that will treat you like a Princess because that's what you deserve!!

I'm still looking as well.....it's hard being single sometimes....but you always have us (and that wasn't an offer to shag you I'm afraid  ;) LoL)....but happy to listen anytime....
Swim The Warm Waters of Sins
Of The Flesh (Rocky Horror)

Dani

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Re: Was I wrong to be honest?
« Reply #5 on: 05 August 2012, 03:39:00 pm »
If you value honesty and trust in a relationship then you were not wrong.  You have kept to your values.  If he is an ignorant pratt then that is his problem and not yours.
If a guy really cares about you then your job will not be too much of an issue.  Yes he may not love the idea but he will live with it as he will know what sort of person you are and know it is only a job.  Nothing more.

There are good guys out there that can cope with their partners doing this job and I am proof of that.  A man who loves you will know who you are and will see that although it is not the ideal situation it is just a bloody job and not who you are.
Mind you though there are some guys that love the idea and they are worse than the ones who hate it as they see you as their own personal sex slave and cash machine. 
Truth is far more important than what one wants to hear. With truth there is no us and them or colour or religion there is just fact

Kristina Bristol Escort

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Re: Was I wrong to be honest?
« Reply #6 on: 05 August 2012, 06:40:48 pm »
No you did the right thing the relationship coul never go any where with you hiding what you do.  So long term it is the best thing and better that then he stays with you for the money and then leaves when he gets a better idea in his head taking your hard earned cash with him.  Nope definatley the best thing to do well done x

Spooning the pillow is good as it does not expect anything from you and accepts you for who you are and it is always there when you need it.

clover

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Re: Was I wrong to be honest?
« Reply #7 on: 05 August 2012, 07:31:39 pm »
What a nasty jerk! Throwing the coffee in your face is assault, what does he think gives him the right to do so!

I don't think you were "wrong" being honest, but maybe there were earlier signs that he wasn't the sweet and nice guy you thought/hoped he was? Maybe you didn't choose well your friend/intimate and exposed yourself to someone who doesn't value you interests and wellbeing?

Roxychu

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Re: Was I wrong to be honest?
« Reply #8 on: 05 August 2012, 07:38:06 pm »
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« Last Edit: 18 March 2013, 11:18:42 pm by Roxychu »

lili69

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Re: Was I wrong to be honest?
« Reply #9 on: 05 August 2012, 07:43:30 pm »
You poor thing - I was so sorry to read your post Jenna :( 
Are you OK - to throw coffee in your face is awful - and I agree with Clover, it sounds like assault!
I am choosing to stay single at the moment, but have no idea of how I am going to move on into a relationship, or even if I can give up being a WG....
We're all here for you xxx

ladyjennaj

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Re: Was I wrong to be honest?
« Reply #10 on: 06 August 2012, 08:47:45 am »
Thank you girls, all your responses means alot. I was very upset at first, but have now realised he's obviously a judgemental idiot who assaulted me and can't have cared much. Thank you for the support girls  :-* At times like this, you guys are the only people that I can confide in.

The Bachelor

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Re: Was I wrong to be honest?
« Reply #11 on: 06 August 2012, 09:49:48 am »
I told him over coffee at my house, and he stormed out. Infact, he threw his coffee in my face and walked out the door. Now, he seemed a decent guy. Kind, thoughtful, sensitive, intelligent and great fun.

Oh dear! That is absolutely awful. I was just complaining about my situation, but gee atleast the guy didn't actually CALL me a dirty whore, but it was more or less his ATTITUDE that I was comparing it to. We are actually still friends and he may not like what I do, but he understands I'm doing it and he likes me rubbing his back every weekend so he can't be too mad! But to throw hot coffee on your face? That's aggravated assualt and I would have went to the hospital with injuries (faked or fact) and had his ASS thrown in jail!

Screw him. I don't understand why he feels so mad about it. Well, actually...I shouldn't say that. People all percieve things differently. I remember years ago I found out a girlfriend (I'm bi) was doing it, and I was mad too...but I got over it and we discussed it. I didn't just go flying off the handle with her because I actually really loved her. Well, I did fly off the handle for like a week...but I didn't go calling her names and bad mouthing her.

"He threw a drink on me and messed up my furs that I bought from Neimans. I could have killed him!" -video below shows how to handle a situation like that...

http://www.vh1.com/video/misc/790232/limbo.jhtml#id=1687035
« Last Edit: 06 August 2012, 10:01:09 am by Blaine »

curvygrace

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Re: Was I wrong to be honest?
« Reply #12 on: 06 August 2012, 09:55:32 am »
yeah big love!!! defo his problem! thank god you got out when you did!  ;D

i told an ex bf about my profession. we had a break after 3 years and i began then, told him 3 months later after getting an sti!

he couldnt believe it, was soooo upset (not angry like your dude). the one thing that i found absolutely incredible is that a while later he admitted to me that he had thought about 'pimping me' lol!

its all about the power with men! they want you all for themselves!  ::)

ana30

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Re: Was I wrong to be honest?
« Reply #13 on: 06 August 2012, 10:00:25 am »
Ladyjenna, that sounds like a pretty harsh reaction on his side. Just by curiosity..did you ever "tested" the waters with him? Did you ever had the "oh hon, I just discovered an old girlfriend on mine is an escort. So-what-do-you-think?" conversation?

It would have given you a good insight of his inner brain once he spilled the " dirty whore" word. Then you would have known NOT to spill the beans. In any case what a twat.

Big hug.
"Sex work is real work, being a landlord isn't" - Graffitti seen on a wall.

The Bachelor

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Re: Was I wrong to be honest?
« Reply #14 on: 06 August 2012, 10:08:00 am »
Ladyjenna, that sounds like a pretty harsh reaction on his side. Just by curiosity..did you ever "tested" the waters with him? Did you ever had the "oh hon, I just discovered an old girlfriend on mine is an escort. So-what-do-you-think?" conversation?

Oh yes...very true.

In my case, I didn't drop a bombshell that I was an escort. It was revealed over a period of 2 weeks and he actually tricked me into confessing he'd done it himself! It was really him probing and continually asking me...even TELLING ME an ex girlfriend of his had once took dirty pics of him and he thought about doing gay escorting. I met the ex-girlfriend whom ALSO briefly did escorting as well herself. She was kind of the person that mainly 'cottoned on' when he mentioned to her that I travel to different cities.

So, in this case...I was already kind of feeling out his attitude towards it, which wasn't abhorrent...but his issue seems more about dating someone who does the kind of work. I'm not sure whether jennaj man is mad at her for doing it or actually has a true hate towards the profession. He sounds a bit insecure to be getting all crazy like that. Makes me think maybe some underlying issue..

Also, some people just have these ridiculous conditions that make escorting okay. In the case of the guy I know, he's had 2 girlfriends INCLUDING himself try out escorting/stripping. He excuses it by saying it's something they did for a short time because they had nothing to turn to, but once you're on your feet, you should move on. It's stupid logic. If everyone escorted when they were down and out, the industry would be overrun by unprofessional, needy, low priced, cheap, low-budget...it'd just be a mess and clients would rule the industry and price us rather than the other way around.

It's we who are established and know how to work the industry, prices, etc that keep this business running. Everyone starts off as a newbie. But newbies don't keep this business going in the right direction. It takes smart, strong minded women to stand up and fight to prevent clients from taking advantage of us.
« Last Edit: 06 August 2012, 10:16:04 am by Blaine »