Author Topic: Looking for dates? (Read 3173 times)

EmilyJones · « **on:** 02 September 2009, 10:36:11 am »

I keep getting emails from prospective clients that sound fine in email #1 and then email #2 comes along and suddenly they're all, "I'd like to meet you for lunch or coffee in a public place, because this is my first time contacting an escort and I'm nervous".

I'm just vaguely wondering whether this is ever said by an honest client? I really don't know because I decided on a 'no test meets' policy from the beginning and wouldn't assume that a real client (one who wants to exchange money for some sexy sex) would be particularly interested in doing lunch with no sexy sex involved. So I also assume that these particular emails come from guys who think you'll give them a freebie because you'll be so wowed by their masculine aura once you meet them that you'll beg them to let you take them home. Or something. But it occurred to me today that maybe it's not only a liar's ploy but maybe these emails could be coming from guys who really want to go on a date? As in, forge a meaningful relationship with a woman, and think that we'll try to f*ck them and then kick them out if they meet us in private - which they actually don't want?!

Probably all just overthinking on my part. Either way, I'm not meeting 'em.

But TW psychology intrigues me! Has anyone else had similar emails/gone to one of these 'test meetings'/decided they're weird and to be avoided?

(Edit: Added a bit!)

Carla · « **Reply #1 on:** 02 September 2009, 11:00:41 am »

Yo. Completely get your fascination with TW psychology- and these guys are definitely TWs!

When I started, about two months in, there was a guy who gave the "I'm young, I'm a virgin, I am soooooo nervous!" and so I said fine, I will meet you for literally five mins near your work which was on my way to uni so you can see I am real and feel comfortable. Met him- he lunged in for a big hug and kiss.

Oh no ya don't mister.

Chatted for a couple of mins. And then he made an appointment for the following day....and cancelled it. He then sent texts saying hi and what uni do you go to and you are cute and can I have a face pic and that I'd make a lovely girlfriend (all which I ignored) and eventually texts saying "don't ignore me, I will find you". He finally lost the plot altogether and called on another number and said "oh, hi, yeah, we met a while ago, I erm, I just wondered, erm..... well, erm...." and when I realised who it was I just lost it and said loads of horrible stuff. I felt 1% bad afterwards because he sounded really hurt- but then I realised he was a titwank, hung up, and quickly recovered from my guilt

These men, they need to be on match.com. Either that or as you say, they think they are mr.sexy-big-dicky 2009 and could woo an escort into dating him with one swooning glance and a flash of a smile. If they want to meet for a coffee because they are nervous- they are talking bollocks. We should ask them how they will they ever pluck up the courage to stick their willies in us if they are that nervous? It's bollocks.

And the amount of blokes who you see once and who then make your life a misery because they ask you on a normal date and get angry when you turn them down. Don't get me started!!!!

God, that turned into a bit of a rant, my apologies! I am actually going to dabble with semi-retirement soon, and re-reading this post has just convinced me I am ready to

~Amber~ · « **Reply #2 on:** 02 September 2009, 11:54:49 am »

Yeah it like they see your pictures and create this whole personality of you in their heads which they can't shake and go mental or something.

amy · « **Reply #3 on:** 02 September 2009, 11:56:00 am »

I had a similar one (bag of nerves, first timer and so on) who wanted to come over and see me and the flat to 'reassure' himself before booking; I refused on the grounds that he was a complete stranger and why should I let him know where I live? He did appear genuine enough, and because of this we eventually came to an arrangement where he paid a deposit which I refunded him when he did book, we had a cup of tea and a chat for half an hour and he eventually confessed to feeling a bit silly about it all - he has since turned out to be a good client.

This is the only time this has happened. I have been asked to meet someone in the street for the purposes of being looked up and down like a cow at market, plus all the lunch, coffee invites (which is fine, but the interest quickly disappears when I politely quote my social rates). I'm afraid the majority of these just get a kick out of seeing what a real prossie looks like and have no interest in booking/paying at all.

As for the ones who think you will be their girlfriend and go out for a drink with them and then act like arseholes when you explain why you won't, if they cannot understand that this is work to us, they're not worth bothering with. I get on with the lady who does my nails, but this does not mean I expect her to work for free, and I can't understand why people would think we were any different. Easiest thing I've found is to just explain that your boyfriend wouldn't like it - that usually changes the subject pretty quick.

Violette · « **Reply #4 on:** 02 September 2009, 12:08:27 pm »

No patience anymore. I reply, "Wether we spend the hour drinking coffee, having lunch, or humping like randy teenagers on the couch, the price is still xyz, per hour. Please feel free to contact me when you are ready to make and appointment."
Funny, I never seem to get a second mail from them.

Anika Mae · « **Reply #5 on:** 02 September 2009, 12:11:39 pm »

I've offered trial meets from the beginning. They can have a quick drink with me at a time and place of my choosing for free, or meet for lunch or dinner for ?50. Not many people take me up on it, but it's worked perfectly well.

When I said I'd meet people for free I thought that at some point I'd need to change that to a nominal fee to stop people messing me around, but actually it's been fine. I think I've only had two people who've had a free meet and not made a booking. One didn't turn up and sent a text later saying he'd lost track of time (and that we should meet later - yeah right), another realised it was a girlfriend he wanted and dissolved with embarrassment.

With the paid trials most go on to make a full booking, some don't. I suppose since they've already paid they don't feel bad about not following up. I had one guy who booked a few dinners in the hope that I'd give in to the (quite real) chemistry and shag him (he did eventually pay up for sex). There was another guy who was upfront that all he could afford was a trial meet but he really wanted to meet me, I took that booking because aww bless (also, I don't mind getting ?50 for going to dinner, and I get on well with most guys who want to do that).

A lot of the trial guys were nervous and yes, having contact with me as a real person can make them feel more comfortable (and some decide the scene isn't for them, which is fine). Others were used to being punters but thought it was a nice idea.

My experience is all with people who've seen something I offer and gone along with that, so it's not quite the same as the ones who ask you. It can work though; I expect some of your requests are from genuine people who would be ok with becoming clients.

brandy@saafe · « **Reply #6 on:** 02 September 2009, 02:30:27 pm »

Quote from: Anika Mae on 02 September 2009, 12:11:39 pm

I've offered trial meets from the beginning. They can have a quick drink with me at a time and place of my choosing for free, or meet for lunch or dinner for ?50. Not many people take me up on it, but it's worked perfectly well.

When I said I'd meet people for free I thought that at some point I'd need to change that to a nominal fee to stop people messing me around, but actually it's been fine. I think I've only had two people who've had a free meet and not made a booking. One didn't turn up and sent a text later saying he'd lost track of time (and that we should meet later - yeah right), another realised it was a girlfriend he wanted and dissolved with embarrassment.

With the paid trials most go on to make a full booking, some don't. I suppose since they've already paid they don't feel bad about not following up. I had one guy who booked a few dinners in the hope that I'd give in to the (quite real) chemistry and shag him (he did eventually pay up for sex). There was another guy who was upfront that all he could afford was a trial meet but he really wanted to meet me, I took that booking because aww bless (also, I don't mind getting ?50 for going to dinner, and I get on well with most guys who want to do that).

A lot of the trial guys were nervous and yes, having contact with me as a real person can make them feel more comfortable (and some decide the scene isn't for them, which is fine). Others were used to being punters but thought it was a nice idea.

My experience is all with people who've seen something I offer and gone along with that, so it's not quite the same as the ones who ask you. It can work though; I expect some of your requests are from genuine people who would be ok with becoming clients.

You are the most loveliest most patient escort I've ever come across.
I wouldn't see any client unless I'm paid first, I don't care how nervous they are. And I'd most certainly charge more than ?50 for lunch/dinner, considering either one lasts aprox. 2hrs. Work is work and that's all this is. I'm not single and I don't need to be dating anybody. And I haven't met anybody I'd leave my partner for....yet.

Anika Mae · « **Reply #7 on:** 02 September 2009, 03:06:33 pm »

I'd feel the same way about meeting for free if I didn't offer it to begin with (and I'm not very patient with people who want to have extended friendly chats on the phone when they're meant to be making a booking), but after being a stripper and then a champagne girl it made sense to me to have these kind of options available. I'm still happy with them even though I'm not as eager to please as I was in the early days.

I'm not saying that anyone should cater to those who want to meet first if it's not something they want to spend their time doing, just that men who go for it can turn out to be perfectly good clients. There's actually less timewasting nonsense involved than I expected.

brandy@saafe · « **Reply #8 on:** 02 September 2009, 03:54:32 pm »

Quote from: Anika Mae on 02 September 2009, 03:06:33 pm

I'd feel the same way about meeting for free if I didn't offer it to begin with (and I'm not very patient with people who want to have extended friendly chats on the phone when they're meant to be making a booking), but after being a stripper and then a champagne girl it made sense to me to have these kind of options available. I'm still happy with them even though I'm not as eager to please as I was in the early days.

I'm not saying that anyone should cater to those who want to meet first if it's not something they want to spend their time doing, just that men who go for it can turn out to be perfectly good clients. There's actually less timewasting nonsense involved than I expected.

I guess the difference is it's something you offer on your website, which is fine. It's like Emily says, people writing to you ask for a free date, free fuck and anything else with the word "free" prefixed before it is what I don't understand. They have our sites confused with swinging websites it seems.

Alexxx · « **Reply #9 on:** 02 September 2009, 03:59:50 pm »

Respect to you Anika, patience of a saint!

I on the other hand, won't meet anybody unless they're paying. If they start whinging on about meeting for coffee/being nervous etc, I just quote the good old line that we all love and know so well:
"Money paid is for time and companionship. Anything that happens thereafter is a choice of two consenting adults." We can drink tea, go to the zoo, play with lego...or even venture into the bedroom in that time! Whatever. The price is for my time. Simple as that!

If someone wants to date me, approaching me in the first instance knowing I'm an escort, then I'm not playing ball. I wonder what their motives are? What attracts them to an escort in the first place? Do they think I'm a sex vamp all day every day? Do they think I'm going to be up for anything/everything due to my job? Also, they must know that we earn good money, so do they think they're gonna have an easy life sitting on their arses while I work mine off? (Like asking an 18 yr old - what first attracted you to your 98yr old Billionaire Husband lol) Are they some kind of sexual predator? Too much to lose, including sanity and dignity.

Sorry about the rant! $:-\$

Lilly1230 · « **Reply #10 on:** 02 September 2009, 09:12:40 pm »

Hi all

I insist on meeting most new clients in a busy local bar for a brief drink and a chat. I use this as an icebreaker and as a security feature to suss them out. I suggest it so they can check me out beforehand but of course it's so I can spot a weirdo and then slip out the back to my car. It's never failed me yet and never spent more than 20 minutes having a (free) drink.

That said I'm a part timer so have less clients to see.
Maybe you've got one of my exes used to the modus operandi! Apols x

Lilly x

cindy · « **Reply #11 on:** 03 September 2009, 12:58:26 am »

I dont do it at all these days as it leads to "confusion" over my fees when they decide theres no option but to book me for any fun and games in the bedroom.
Once had a cheeky beggar turn up to view me, to ensure my photos were accurate. It turned out to be a young man aged around 19-20. He looked me up and down for a full minute before giving me a casual nod, saying "ok, then," and sauntering off in the direction of my bedroom. Im afraid my temper got the better of me and I said "Youre going the wrong way sunshine." indicating the front door with a jerk of my head!
You dont need it, do you?!!

EmilyJones · « **Reply #12 on:** 03 September 2009, 07:03:15 am »

Quote from: cindy on 03 September 2009, 12:58:26 am

"ok, then,"

Grr!

I've been thinking more about the generally large amount of friction (the non-sexy kind) that occurs in the interactions between escorts and clients. Not that it's overwhelming and we all hate each other, because that's obviously not the case. But it's often so difficult for both sides to figure out what's going through the others mind.

Anyway, I've quite come round to the idea of meeting clients either briefly (like Lilly1230) or for a social fee (like Anika). There would be some details to work out - like paying in public? (Not really a problem and easily disguised, but for me escorting is something very secret so would personally feel uncomfy about it.) And not getting annoyed about having to go out and do some kind of performance to win potential clients over.

That's what my website is for!

On the other hand, might just stick to emphasizing to new clients that they don't have to stay OR pay if they decide upon meeting me that they really don't want to go through with it. And that I don't have a scary dog, or an evil pimp, so they won't be experiencing any pressure to pay up either. I do think there is a percentage (no idea what size) of 'can we meet in public first' punters who are honestly just scared of it all being a big scam. And I do keep meaning to be nicer to potential clients, LOL, honest.

Anika Mae · « **Reply #13 on:** 03 September 2009, 11:22:06 am »

Money in public can be awkward, although it doesn't need to be. I have to start mentioning this to clients before meeting, because they quite often try to pass me the money without anyone noticing and that's usually obvious and suspicious. Unless you already look like an escort and punter, handing over some cash doesn't look odd. You've probably done it yourself with a friend at some point because you borrowed some money or they booked tickets for the show you're seeing. If someone's too nervous to just do it like that, putting it in a card is a good way to go about it.

Violette · « **Reply #14 on:** 03 September 2009, 08:57:06 pm »

Ladies, maybe I am getting old and becoming grouchy, but if the man calls me on a certain phone number, then he has found me on a certain site advertising certain services. Nervous I can understand, call and we can have a chat, but all this meeting in public places and stuff is real nice if I am on a date, but in business, there is no mistake about what I do on my website or has the word escort come to mean something else? If he is calling me he should know what I am about, plain and simple. I am not meeting someone for a look see or a test drive, to decide if he wants to carry on with the appointment? Waste of my time and insulting as well. If the client wants to meet for a social engagement, great not a problem. But ffs, we sell sex, if he wants a relationship,what the hell is he doing looking at escorts?
Also, I am seriously paranoid about meeting in a public place, after a friend of mine was taped and recorded on hidden camera. In private I have more control, and can get the client undressed a lot quicker. Unless he is carrying the camera in his nostril, then hey....

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: Looking for dates? (Read 3173 times)

EmilyJones

Looking for dates?

Carla

Re: Looking for dates?

~Amber~

Re: Looking for dates?

amy

Re: Looking for dates?

Violette

Re: Looking for dates?

Anika Mae

Re: Looking for dates?

brandy@saafe

Re: Looking for dates?

Anika Mae

Re: Looking for dates?

brandy@saafe

Re: Looking for dates?

Alexxx

Re: Looking for dates?

Lilly1230

Re: Looking for dates?

cindy

Re: Looking for dates?

EmilyJones

Re: Looking for dates?

Anika Mae

Re: Looking for dates?

Violette

Re: Looking for dates?