This is going to be long... sorry.

Although it's true that the phone is ringing a bit less than it did, I also realised that one problem I have may be down to rejecting too many callers for what may be spurious reasons. I think I got a bit spoiled and fussy. While I'm not racist, I have to admit my ideal client is the 45-year-old businessman with a good-but-not-posh accent. I think that maybe I've become a bit of a snob - I like clients who are similar to me in terms of education, interests, and disposition. And I think burn-out, coupled with frustration at being quiet, has just made me grumpy. (Hence my thread on hating clothing requests.) I can't make the phone ring but I can try to improve my attitude so as to make the most of when it does.

I've noticed a handful of girls on here talking about how they do well in such-and-such a place and they attribute it to advertising on Vivastreet, working overnight, and one even said she will answer withheld numbers. While I'm not willing to go to quite such lengths, it occurred to me that some girls have thicker skins than I do and they may be able to happily see gents that I would reject out of hand.

I thought that maybe I should try and be a bit more open and give guys more of a chance of coming to see me. I'm trying to be more open-minded about "babe" and "hun" and text speak. I remember I once saw a client who texted like a dyslexic Ali G and he was perfectly lovely (as well as educated: he was a nurse.) So I have decided that if someone texts like that, I will go ahead and answer and then require them to call me before I confirm a booking.

I still struggle when a client has a very working-class accent. To some extent, I try to separate the accent from the attitude. There's what I call the "dead inside" accent in which they sound as if the've never mastered chewing with their mouths shut and that's very off-putting. However, if they sound happy and respectful, then I think I should give them a go. The only remaining reservation is that I find long periods of time with someone who can't speak in a lively, interesting way very tedious. So, if I think they sound like they might not have much to say about anything beyond football, then I'll limit them to shorter bookings of no more than one hour.

I'm going to try and avoid becoming irritated with callers over things like asking me questions that are answered on my profile. The fact is, many men don't read profiles. I think some of them do read it, but they just want to ask questions in order to get a feel for you. (If you want to test this, try quoting a higher rate than is on your profile - they'll say something about it!) Someone on here said a few weeks ago that we should just have a spiel ready because back in the days of advertising in the Sport or with a card in a phone box, you just had to have a spiel in which you described yourself. You expected to answer questions. And that's a good attitude to have. Being prepared to give a succinct, inviting description of services and rates means not being irritated. You'll still know when they're wanking because they'll keep you on the phone with more questions just like all the other wankers. It's not the end of the world, really.

And I'm really going to work on my attitude towards clothing requests. I'll describe two clothing options in a flattering way and ask which one they like. This is actually a parenting trick for toddlers. You say, "Would you like to wear your Thomas the Tank shirt or your Spongebob shirt?" and the toddler then feels that he has a choice in the matter and chooses. So, I tell them something like, "I have a couple of really nice outfits for today. Would you like me to wear my short, tight black body con dress with black hold-ups or my flirty short floral dress with no knickers at all underneath?" If they ask for my sexy secretary and I'm just not up for it (it involves a very tight skirt and lots of buttons) I can just say, "Oh, I'm sorry but that's in the wash right now but I can wear [insert flattering description of what I actually feel like wearing]"

Sorry for writing such a long essay. We'll see if my ideas work!

Hi Fabulassie

Hmmm, yes it is possible to be too picky. I believe in seeing how a person is with me. All I do is have a specific booking procedure, if someone can follow that then I will see them. As a result I have seen some great clients of all ages and all backgrounds. I personally do not judge on accent, I have found good clients from all walks of life, different jobs, and all types of accent.

I do however have the basic stipulation that we can communicate and understand each other. So if a person talks over me, waffles on too much, doesn't listen and take in answers to my questions or can't follow my requirements (simple things like agreeing a time, day, booking length, confirming at a set time and reading the directions I provide), then I simply back off. Similarly if they start repeatedly texting or emailing, I'll advise them that I am not able to provide that level of contact, if they continue then I'll decline to go any further. This usually comes out before we've gotten to the definite booking stage, so it's not a cancellation, only a 'no thank you'.


If I'm feeling uptight I'll talk myself into a relaxed place, we are in a customer service occupation and a bit of friendliness doesn't hurt.

Fabulassie, you have your own standards and there is nothing wrong with that.  If you lower them then you are pushing your own boundaries and that is something we wouldn't like clients to do, so why do them?

I too like the suited and booted type but you have to remember, these guys, as well as electricians and joiners etc are just working class guys like us.

If you want to lower your standards then that's no one else's business though, sometimes if the work isn't coming in from the areas that we want then we have to adapt ourselves.

I'm not thinking of it as "lowering standards" but instead trying to be more open-minded. I can't only see people exactly like myself (middle-aged, white, educated.)

I'd echo Mirror really. I don't mind how someone speaks so long as they're pleasant and communicative. I think I'm pretty fussy too, but I'd say it's about deciding which elements are important to you. So, for example, for me, geriatrics are a hard limit, whereas not having fantastic English in texts and emails isn't - so long as there's obviously a decent person writing.

There's nothing wrong with a bit of experimenting to see how it goes!

Funny that this thread gets put up... You may recall my moaning earlier in the week about getting no bookings from having my number up. Well I got one, he was a bit of a text pest but I decided I was being too snobby. Turned out to be the first negative experience I had, he pushed an extra half hour out of me, deliberately obscuring my watch and holding me down so that I can't get up (this was also in a basement so I couldn't get out easily or text my security buddy until I got out). It wasn't violent or forceful or anything, just very very obvious that he was taking advantage of my naivety and awkwardness/politeness and knowing that I'd be really reluctant to say "right, time's up now". I am definitely far too strict, I have different rules from you Fabulassie but very much just as strict if not moreso - I will put the phone down the minute they ask if I'm English or "really" 18 for example, as those bloody piss me off. After last night, I don't regret a single booking that I've rejected. I genuinely would have rather not turned up at all and got ?0 than a ?120 that should have been ?180 and without feeling degraded and used.

In conclusion, I definitely share your worries re: being strict and grumpy! I think I just got unlucky really, but for now I'm going to continue as I am.

See, what I see here - if I apply it to myself - is: "text pest" = "red flag." There was something pushy and off about the guy. That absolutely sends alarm bells ringing and I become nervous. Nervous is bad.

However, asking if I'm whatever nationality or really my age (I don't necessarily get asked that in the same way, but there may be similar equivalents that annoy me) would be the sort of thing I'm trying to address. I know you're sensitive about your age and nationality but there could be perfectly innocent and understandable reasons they ask. Maybe less so on the age thing - why are they so fixated on that? Are they worried you're underage or are they determined to book as young as legally able to or do they just assume everyone is lying? I have to say that I'm relieved to be much older as I think guys who are focused on booking teens can be a bit ... I don't know. Shouldn't generalise... let's just leave it at saying that you get a lot less shit when you're in your 40's. "It gets better." LOL

But I think you've said (was that you?) that your nationality is a bit of an issue as you have a birth certificate from a foreign country but an English accent from living here since you were very young. I think it would be OK to just say "Well, I'm a citizen of _____ but I've lived in England since I was two years old, so I've got an English accent, an English education, and I may as well be English as far as my cultural norms are concerned." I do think they may have legitimate concerns about young girls from foreign countries and that answer should quell all of them. And the bigoted twats will still show their twattiness in other ways that you can screen out. I hope I'm making sense.

I get asked if I'm XXX even though all my marketing introduces me first thing as an "XXXX MILF" - I think, can't you fucking read? But I try not to let it bug me. My accent is very strong even after living here many years.

As your standards are set so high that is why. Business is business all they need to be is respectful and hygienic are the most important to me. I am not providing a service based on their IQ. I am not being funny when say this but we sell our time/bodies. And it is the in thing to get asked for a uniform request when prozzing. To get annoyed each time will be a long haul. I get asked daily it is part and parcel with prozzying that is embraced. No one would get asked about uniforms like this as an office worker.

Quote from: Fabulassie on 16 April 2015, 11:39:47 am

Quote from: Lady_Lust_XXX on 16 April 2015, 11:16:26 am

Fabulassie, you have your own standards and there is nothing wrong with that.  If you lower them then you are pushing your own boundaries and that is something we wouldn't like clients to do, so why do them?

I too like the suited and booted type but you have to remember, these guys, as well as electricians and joiners etc are just working class guys like us.

If you want to lower your standards then that's no one else's business though, sometimes if the work isn't coming in from the areas that we want then we have to adapt ourselves.

I'm not thinking of it as "lowering standards" but instead trying to be more open-minded. I can't only see people exactly like myself (middle-aged, white, educated.)

Why not just see people like you? I only pitch towards a certain demographic whom I am comfortable seeing and does not fuck with my head as much, its about finding your target market.  The  experience I have is equally as important as their experience. Yes, I get I am selling sex but I am selling sex to a specific kind of man.

Because I want to make more money!

I'm like you fab. I aim to see educated, middle class, middle aged men. I like my job because it involves great conversation some of the time and I have regretted it every time I have taken a booking I wasn't so sure of. If I can't talk to the client the booking is awful for me. The clients that don't like talking/are uneducated tend to want to bang for 60 minutes solid (in my personal experience)

Nationality doesn't come into it so long as they speak well and have read my profile. I hate the calls I get where they automatically sound like pushers/time wasters I know it sounds bad but when I pick up the phone and get something like I did last night:

Client: Hi you free tonight?
Me: Sorry I'm fully booked tonight but I am working Friday (secretly hoping he wouldn't book as he didn't sound like my kind of client)
Client: I can't do Friday. Are you sure you you're not free tonight?
Me: No, as I said I am fully booked.

I just like simple courtesies like you would expect in an email, just a 'hello, how are you' takes 2 seconds and it puts the whole conversation onto a positive note. Yes I am a snob. But I couldn't do this job if I wasn't... it wouldn't be worth it as I would be miserable.