SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: divine_madonna on 13 May 2012, 10:17:06 pm
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Hello ladies,
Hope you all had a good productive day! :)
I?ve recently been thinking about what I could do to convert more phone calls into bookings. Generally I would say I?m quite a friendly, relaxed sort and can handle most moronic questions (after all I figure I only want to see these men for their money, not looking for marriage, so even if they?re a bit moronic on the phone ? I can cope for an hour!). However despite the best will in the world and using deep breathing exercises the following five questions still seriously pee me off. I never give rude responses but it?s not difficult to tell I?m not impressed (think Ice Maiden) and as such I?m sure I lose bookings (possibly with nice blokes who are just crap at phone calls).
I really do love the job (the freedom, money, hours etc) but the twatty phone questions is the bit I hate. Hate with a passion, I might add. If I could conquer/improve in this area, I know I would enjoy it 99% rather than the 90% as at present.
So I was hoping you could look through the list and advise on how best to handle the following enquiries? Or suggest methods that work for you? What responses do you use that work?
1. I got your number from a friend (hence why I expect you to regurgitate your entire profile word for word)
2. What?s your ethnicity? (this is despite me stating my ethnicity in no less than five different places on my profile will full photos ? inc face ? in colour!!!)
3. What services do you provide? (I?m getting better with this one but it still irritates the hell out of me ? I sometimes feel like replying ?hmmm...let me think....were you looking for services like accountancy, tea making, palm reading etc?? ? I?m a PROSTITUTE fgs!!! figure it out you pillock!!!)
4. Alright babes....are you....? (GRRRRR ? hate any question which starts like this, no wonder some of these sad sods are reduced to paying for it ? can?t think why they can?t pull with gems like these!)
5. I?m White/Black/Asian/Oriental/Mixed Raced ? will you see me? (seriously I get asked this by every race of man on earth ? who the hell is it that they think I normally see? Men from Mars?!
Thank you xxx
Ps would love to hear the questions that bug you too!
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'Are you working today' and 'how much notice do you need' when the answer to both of these things are spelt out clearly on my AW profile! Usually followed by 'ok I'll call you later' FFS!I think the majority of guys don't have a clue how to go about booking an escort even when you virtually offer them a script spelling out what info they need to bring to the call! The number of times the call ends without a meaningful conclusion is what really winds me up...
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'Are you working today' and 'how much notice do you need' when the answer to both of these things are spelt out clearly on my AW profile! Usually followed by 'ok I'll call you later' FFS!
One of the most annoying things known to escort-kind...and yes all the questions they ask are always clearly answered on profiles/websites...*sigh*
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DEFINETLY the worst "HOW MUCH"?i slam the phone down if in a bad mood..
will write a longer reply to your question tommorrow..x
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Ooooo don't get me started I struggle when they come out with.....Are you working today, where you based, how much is it and what services do you provide I now say oh where did you see my ad, when they say AW. I say well I don't know why you asked any of the above as it is all crystal clear on there.
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Sometimes i think they say certain things,to kind of start the conversation..
like an ice breaker!
so some obvious questions dont always bother me..
like if we ring for a taxi..we say"can i have a taxi"even though theres clearly nothing else we could be ringing for!
so are you working and stuff like that,doesnt get me to annoyed unless in a foul mood..
its detail after already speaking..
which is clear as day..the price is above the bloody number!
or when they ask how i look!i slam phone down for that too!!
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Sometimes i think they say certain things,to kind of start the conversation..
like an ice breaker!
so some obvious questions dont always bother me..
I think there?s a grain of truth in that. There is also nerves, which is fair enough. I make allowances for both of these things. But still FFS who would call a prospective fuck and come across as soooooo clueless?! What happened to wanting to create a favourable impression?
It?s a bit like going into Argos, seeing a pretty picture of a kettle and then bugging the woman at the till for the full specifications. You just don?t do it. It?s all there in front you. Open your eyes!
Anyway, I know most jobs dealing with Joe the public involve managing various levels of stupidity and I accept that. But like I said, the questions I mentioned (which are personally my most annoying) are the ones I still can?t handle effectively. I would appreciate words of wisdom! :)
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for the question..
what services do you provide?
i say everything except this this this!
usually the lists shorter for what people dont do!anal is a big no no for me so i say the service i dont do is anal..but most other things within reason i say i can do..some services i dont agree to till we have met..
so you could say..i do all services within reason APART from...x y z..also it is written on profile,which you could of read darling! >:(
i dont think theres any better way of handeling it!
i think its just an annoying question!There could be the rare guy thats to shy to ask his weird fantasy.
And thinks your going to mention.when he asks this moronic question..
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for the question..
what services do you provide?
i say everything except this this this!
usually the lists shorter for what people dont do!anal is a big no no for me so i say the service i dont do is anal..but most other things within reason i say i can do..some services i dont agree to till we have met..
so you could say..i do all services within reason APART from...x y z..also it is written on profile,which you could of read darling! >:(
i dont think theres any better way of handeling it!
i think its just an annoying question!There could be the rare guy thats to shy to ask his weird fantasy.
And thinks your going to mention.when he asks this moronic question..
Extremely quiet for me lately but when I'm asked what services I provide, I find the guy is either seeking a 'quick fix' via the phonecall or they actually do want a specific service.
My usual response is thus: 'If you could let me know what kind of service it is you're looking for, then I can let you know if I can be of assistance'. That way, you don't have to say another word and can stop the call if he starts getting all husky, read as 'tossing off' voiced on the phone. At least you can end the call without feeling like he's got something for nothing.
W.x
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"Can i come and see you today ?"
Do you have my details etc ?
"No"
Well then how about i give you them ?
"Ok then"
Then once given they say "I'll call you later on"..."I'm in your area next week"..."I'll get back to you".."Too expensive" !!! :FF
Btw...i am not on Adultwork.
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My top five annoying questions are:
1) Are you available today? my profile states clearly when i am available.
2) I've just seen your profile on AW can you tell me more? launches into all questions that are answered on there. :FF
3) Can I come more than once? Yes within the time you have booked you can. ::)
4) Can i have your full address?
5) Will you wear high heels? :o Gosh if you hadn't asked I'd wear a pair of flip flops ::)
Through this i bite my tongue and remain as polite as I can. And if they ask what service I provide I normally say in the half hour services are limited to what they like and in an hour booking its more or less everything available apart from bareback etc. i won't go into any details no matter how much they try to lead me into talking about sex.
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One of the annoying ones is when you have someone call up and instead of starting 'hi I'm ...' and going on to 'I was wondering if I could see you today' (good start!) plunges straight into 'whereabouts are you...give me your address' without any introductory talk to lead in!
Do some of these guys honestly think I would dish out the details just like that! Why not start off with 'can I see you at x time today', 'yes that's ok', then move on to 'where do I need to go?'
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This may sound mad,but I hate " What do you like?" meant sexually of course,just really annoys me,I guess I should be grateful they are being a lil considerate.My true answer would be "you answer the door in a robe and I can see you have just showered,you give me the envolope,( without me having to ask )which you suggest I count it in front of you.Have a lil chat,then bing bang bong and before I can say " I'll just go and have a freshen up" have said my good byes and back in the car with my fave tunes on,thats what I like!
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What do you like has for some bizarre reason made me think of a joke i heard once...sorry, off topic but it may make a smile :)
A little boy has lost his mum in a shop, the security guard says to him "Whats your mum like ?"
Little boy says "Big dicks and vodka"
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Another annoying question is this a parlour, do other girls work with you, do you work alone, Will anyone else be in the house, I mean will we be alone? I had this asked recently and I thought 'gosh' you are either extremely paranoid or up to no good. Either way I flagged him as one to be wary of. He might have been genuine but all his questions led back to was I alone.
I've had it ask several times before but not to the extreme of the above. If you are not up to no good why ask the question are you alone several times it just sounds suspicious.
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Another annoying question is this a parlour, do other girls work with you, do you work alone, Will anyone else be in the house, I mean will we be alone? I had this asked recently and I thought 'gosh' you are either extremely paranoid or up to no good. Either way I flagged him as one to be wary of. He might have been genuine but all his questions led back to was I alone.
I've had it ask several times before but not to the extreme of the above. If you are not up to no good why ask the question are you alone several times it just sounds suspicious.
I don't like that one either, and I won't see people who ask. From the same stable (and one for the touring ladies I suppose) 'are you in a hotel or an apartment?' also guarantees that I'm suddenly busy for the rest of the millennium, especially given that all my ads CLEARLY state in bold type where possible that I'm offering hotel incalls ::). All I hear is 'how easy would it be for me to rob you later on?'
Most of my pet hates have been mentioned already, but the 'What do you like?' one never fails to set my teeth on edge; I always reply with something completely neutral, like sewing, cooking or swimming which normally gets me a blank look and means I can change the subject. Worse still 'what would you like me to do?', a question which I can never answer with anything other than 'well since you're offering, you could put on the kettle'.
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I think some guys have another way of asking this question to..
By saying "are you working with another girl"are you offering 3 somes"?
I alway get very on edge when they want to much detail of who im with..
Some guys have wanted to know,if im with someone,as they have had a bad experience,while seeing a girl,heard a lot of noise in apartment and made them on edge(a reason i wont share)
which is fair enough..but once the question has been asked i wont see them..
I used to get this asked constantly in northern ireland..probably lost alot of money!!
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Another annoying question is this a parlour, do other girls work with you, do you work alone, Will anyone else be in the house, I mean will we be alone? I had this asked recently and I thought 'gosh' you are either extremely paranoid or up to no good. Either way I flagged him as one to be wary of. He might have been genuine but all his questions led back to was I alone.
I've had it ask several times before but not to the extreme of the above. If you are not up to no good why ask the question are you alone several times it just sounds suspicious.
I don't like that one either, and I won't see people who ask. From the same stable (and one for the touring ladies I suppose) 'are you in a hotel or an apartment?' also guarantees that I'm suddenly busy for the rest of the millennium, especially given that all my ads CLEARLY state in bold type where possible that I'm offering hotel incalls ::). All I hear is 'how easy would it be for me to rob you later on?'
Most of my pet hates have been mentioned already, but the 'What do you like?' one never fails to set my teeth on edge; I always reply with something completely neutral, like sewing, cooking or swimming which normally gets me a blank look and means I can change the subject. Worse still 'what would you like me to do?', a question which I can never answer with anything other than 'well since you're offering, you could put on the kettle'.
;D I know. I sometimes think they think we are so desperate to have them as a client that we will answer every question they throw at us without thinking. I know some days you can be caught off guard and I think they try it on because of that. but most of the times we do think before we give details away. Most of them sound like they are all singing from the same hymn book the way they all ask the same questions day in day out.
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Thanks for the responses ladies, yes lots of annoyances but very few solutions.... :(
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I also hate "will we be alone?" "do you work with anyone else?" and "do you live with anyone else?" or any variations of these - they get immediately blacklisted, I just won't take the chance.
During bookings I hate the "do you have a boyfriend?" question. It immediately gets my hackles up because there doesn't seem to be a 'right' answer (I'd love to say "what an idiotic question to ask - do you have a wife?" but obviously can't really say that!) .
If I say no I don't have a boyfriend then straight away I know they are going to start asking for unpaid dates, to go out for dinner, "show me a good time" etc, and pester me for ages via texts, calls and emails afterwards, but never book a paid appointment again. Or they will try to "rescue" me (the older ones)
If I say yes I have a boyfriend to try and put them off asking for dates, the next question (guaranteed) is "and does he know you do this?" - to which there is no good answer and they seem to look horrified!
I have a few times said I am gay, but this usually starts off a huge debate where they ask all sorts of questions, and say idiotic things like "but we are having fun together now, you can't be fully gay??!!" (who says I am having "fun" now ;D)
argh.
Also anyone who asks for my real name, or in general anyone who refers to sex work as "this" in a really derogatory fashion as if it was a bad taste rolling around in their mouth.
Also, texts and calls where there is not even a rudimentary "hi," just launching in to "how much?" or "where are you based and what is your rates?" I find it really abrupt and don't think those who cannot even say hello are going to be very nice in person. I mean, you wouldn't call to make an appointment with a professional person in any other capacity and not first say "hello" would you?
Another is those who use the phrase "What is your best price . . . .?" or "What is the best price you can do for me?" I don't know exactly why but that one always makes me :-X
Yes, a lot of things annoy me!
Another question that earns them a blocking is 'U 3?' complete plank of wood. No hello I'm such and such or better still why not just ask 'are you free?' instead of text speaking it to the bare minimum.
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Thanks for the responses ladies, yes lots of annoyances but very few solutions.... :(
The best thing to do is think before you answer. Some days you will answer and have a nice conversation with them. As time goes on you will get to see a pattern of questions and know how to respond without losing your cool or getting caught out by those that just want to use you for a quick free sex chat. There really isn't a solution. You just learn as you go on.
I just try to not to be rude and just reply to them short and politely. I can't really say much more. We are all different I guess. You do what you think is best at the time.
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when youre number is displayed and the green available light is on then i get an email, are you free now babe?! to which i reply quicker to call me than email me ....
Ruby x SMR
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Another is those who use the phrase "What is your best price . . . .?" or "What is the best price you can do for me?" I don't know exactly why but that one always makes me :-X
Yes, a lot of things annoy me!
I can never understand what 'best price' actually means to them! Low price but shitty service = 'best price'? Higher price but good service = surely 'better price'?!?
Jeez they should have decided for themselves before ringing what to them constitutes the 'best price' for what they require and rang the most suitable person rates-wise...
The idea that you're going to offer a discount to some low-life you've never even met who wants to cheapen an intimate sex session is unbelievable! What's to say that such
a toerag wouldn't also turn up with less than the verbally agreed 'best price' and try to knock you down further on arrival? Its amazing how so many callers seem to want to ruin the prospect of ever seeing the escort within a couple of abrupt sentences...!
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The thing I hate most is when they don't even say a simple hello and just get straight to "how much babe?" as the first thing they say...grrr.
5. I?m White/Black/Asian/Oriental/Mixed Raced ? will you see me? (seriously I get asked this by every race of man on earth ? who the hell is it that they think I normally see? Men from Mars?!
I get this question quite a lot. However I don't mind it at all because I know of at least two of my clients have had the door shut on them by turning up to see providers who then turned round and told them that they don't see men of their particular race even though it's not mentioned on their website (apparently they don't mention it on the website because it might stop men from other races seeing them too because they sympathise with the excluded race, if you see what I mean).
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I get this question quite a lot. However I don't mind it at all because I know of at least two of my clients have had the door shut on them by turning up to see providers who then turned round and told them that they don't see men of their particular race even though it's not mentioned on their website (apparently they don't mention it on the website because it might stop men from other races seeing them too because they sympathise with the excluded race, if you see what I mean).
Yeah that?s a good point. I have made it very clear on my profile that race is a not an issue when booking an appointment with me (but being a twat most definitely is! :D). I guess I just find it sad that in this day and age people are still left feeling that because of the colour of their skin they might be rejected. Okay ? from now on I will simply answer ?sure no problem?. Thank you Cross x :)
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1) CAN YOU DO IT CHEAPER?
2) DO YOU WORK INDEPENDENT?
3) WHY DID YOU GET INTO THIS?
4) CAN I HAVE YOUR PERSONAL NUMBER?
5) DO YOU DO ANAL/WATERSPORTS? im happy to say yes or no but then they normally say 'IS THERE ANY WAY I COULD MAKE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND IF I SAW YOU REGULARLY?/PAID EXTRA.
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Most annoying question I got via call/text
Do you do quickies? 50? 20 minutes just a blow job?
There is nothing about it on my profile.I've recently had a guy who turned up and asked for 20 min
for 60.All he should do was to ask me beforehand,instead of wasting my time >:(
Are you alone? Do you work with a friend? Do you travel on your own?
I don't bother to see anyone who ask about it.I hate those questions during a booking.
U working? Can I see you?
Answer is rather obvious,but some ppl like to ask pointless questions.
Are you cuming?
I can't guarantee an orgasm,and it puts me off when someone expects me to fake it.
Being clean,gentle,and into sensual love making can work wonders,but it doesn't when I'm put under
pressure.
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or what about the guys who dont say anything at all!!
HELLO??.......................................HELLO?..............
"grnnt where are ya"?
NO THANKS...SLAM..
Or.."HOW MUCH FOR JUST A MASSAGE AND BJ"?
Exactly the FFFFFFing same...GO AWAY!!!
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Or.."HOW MUCH FOR JUST A MASSAGE AND BJ"?
Exactly the FFFFFFing same...GO AWAY!!!
Bless lol, some of them must see us as the Pic N Mix counter. Someone please tell them Woolies closed down for a reason! ;D
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I also hate "will we be alone?" "do you work with anyone else?" and "do you live with anyone else?" or any variations of these - they get immediately blacklisted, I just won't take the chance.
During bookings I hate the "do you have a boyfriend?" question. It immediately gets my hackles up because there doesn't seem to be a 'right' answer (I'd love to say "what an idiotic question to ask - do you have a wife?" but obviously can't really say that!) .
If I say no I don't have a boyfriend then straight away I know they are going to start asking for unpaid dates, to go out for dinner, "show me a good time" etc, and pester me for ages via texts, calls and emails afterwards, but never book a paid appointment again. Or they will try to "rescue" me (the older ones)
If I say yes I have a boyfriend to try and put them off asking for dates, the next question (guaranteed) is "and does he know you do this?" - to which there is no good answer and they seem to look horrified!
I have a few times said I am gay, but this usually starts off a huge debate where they ask all sorts of questions, and say idiotic things like "but we are having fun together now, you can't be fully gay??!!" (who says I am having "fun" now ;D)
argh.
Also anyone who asks for my real name, or in general anyone who refers to sex work as "this" in a really derogatory fashion as if it was a bad taste rolling around in their mouth.
Also, texts and calls where there is not even a rudimentary "hi," just launching in to "how much?" or "where are you based and what is your rates?" I find it really abrupt and don't think those who cannot even say hello are going to be very nice in person. I mean, you wouldn't call to make an appointment with a professional person in any other capacity and not first say "hello" would you?
Another is those who use the phrase "What is your best price . . . .?" or "What is the best price you can do for me?" I don't know exactly why but that one always makes me :-X
Yes, a lot of things annoy me!
If they ask me if I have a boyfriend during the booking I either say 'sometimes/ on occasions' or 'several' with wink ;)
Both too vague and 95% of the time don't prompt further comment above an d beyond 'knowing' or nervous laughter...
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Can I come along so we can have some fun? Yeeeuckkk.
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or what about the guys who dont say anything at all!!
HELLO??.......................................HELLO?..............
"grnnt where are ya"?
NO THANKS...SLAM..
Or.."HOW MUCH FOR JUST A MASSAGE AND BJ"?
Exactly the FFFFFFing same...GO AWAY!!!
I know or the guys that start off with
Me: "Hello?"
client: "Hello I saw your ad on adult work"......................................Longgg silence.
Me: "Hello?"
Client: hello?"
Me: "Call back when you have your something to say"
He saw my ad on adult work but expects me to know what he is wanting to ask since it was him that phoned. :FF
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YES!! infact its the men above that are my most annoying callers!!
Its like get a personality!!
If there like that on phone what would they be like to meet!!
I thought it may be something i was doing wrong..but its clearly them!
dont these guys realise there giving terrible vibes..
Ive said to guys before "cheer up" hope your a little happier when you get here?
and they have been embarrassed..
sometimes you would think there visiting a morgue!!
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1. I got your number from a friend (hence why I expect you to regurgitate your entire profile word for word)
2. What?s your ethnicity? (this is despite me stating my ethnicity in no less than five different places on my profile will full photos ? inc face ? in colour!!!)
3. What services do you provide? (I?m getting better with this one but it still irritates the hell out of me ? I sometimes feel like replying ?hmmm...let me think....were you looking for services like accountancy, tea making, palm reading etc?? ? I?m a PROSTITUTE fgs!!! figure it out you pillock!!!)
4. Alright babes....are you....? (GRRRRR ? hate any question which starts like this, no wonder some of these sad sods are reduced to paying for it ? can?t think why they can?t pull with gems like these!)
5. I?m White/Black/Asian/Oriental/Mixed Raced ? will you see me? (seriously I get asked this by every race of man on earth ? who the hell is it that they think I normally see? Men from Mars?!
Thank you xxx
1. I tell them to go back to their friend to get the rest of my details, then call me back. They never do, because what they really want is for you to talk about yourself and your services.
2. Tell them that, that you've mentioned your ethnicity numerous times on your site and you don't repeat anything that's already on there. I would imagine you've gone into great detail to create your site, the least people can do is read it.
3. Turn the question back on them and ask them what exactly it is they're looking for. That way they don't get off on you talking about your services. If they ask if you provide such and such services, short one word answers should suffice. No room for titillation then.
4. I grit my teeth and place a smile on my face. Here in London you get that a lot so I try not to let it get my back up. But it does irk me sometimes.
5. This one I don't mind. It's a shame they have to ask, but it's better than having the door slammed in their faces after they've made the trip to see you.
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During bookings I hate the "do you have a boyfriend?" question. It immediately gets my hackles up because there doesn't seem to be a 'right' answer (I'd love to say "what an idiotic question to ask - do you have a wife?" but obviously can't really say that!) .
If I say no I don't have a boyfriend then straight away I know they are going to start asking for unpaid dates, to go out for dinner, "show me a good time" etc, and pester me for ages via texts, calls and emails afterwards, but never book a paid appointment again. Or they will try to "rescue" me (the older ones)
If I say yes I have a boyfriend to try and put them off asking for dates, the next question (guaranteed) is "and does he know you do this?" - to which there is no good answer and they seem to look horrified!
THIS! Omg why do guys not know that this is the no1 question to ask?!
Say no, and they think they have a chance. Say yes and it ruins the fantasy and then they get nosy. "what does he do?" "does he know?" blah blah
My favourite come backs
Client: "do you have a boyfriend"
Escort: "do you have a wife?"
Client: "what does your boyfriend do?"
Escort: "he's an arms dealer/drug dealer/ body guard/cage fighter/policeman/russian mobster"
Client: "do your parents know you do this?"
Escort: "do your kids know you see escorts?" / "does your boss know you're here?"
Client: "how much money do you make?"
Escort: "how much money do you spend every year escorts?"
Now I just say "no" to the boyfriend question and immediately follow it up with "and I don't date". If they ask then can just say it's impossible with the job, or if I'm feeling particularly manipulative, I say I was engaged and my fiance was killed in a car/whatever accident and I'm not over it so can't possibly date anyone new. ;D
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During bookings I hate the "do you have a boyfriend?" question. It immediately gets my hackles up because there doesn't seem to be a 'right' answer (I'd love to say "what an idiotic question to ask - do you have a wife?" but obviously can't really say that!) .
If I say no I don't have a boyfriend then straight away I know they are going to start asking for unpaid dates, to go out for dinner, "show me a good time" etc, and pester me for ages via texts, calls and emails afterwards, but never book a paid appointment again. Or they will try to "rescue" me (the older ones)
If I say yes I have a boyfriend to try and put them off asking for dates, the next question (guaranteed) is "and does he know you do this?" - to which there is no good answer and they seem to look horrified!
THIS! Omg why do guys not know that this is the no1 question to ask?!
Say no, and they think they have a chance. Say yes and it ruins the fantasy and then they get nosy. "what does he do?" "does he know?" blah blah
My favourite come backs
Client: "do you have a boyfriend"
Escort: "do you have a wife?"
Ive used this one and the guy was well offended NOB! so now i say "i have boys who are friends"very cheekily..
but why do they feel they have the right to be personal,then we cant be back?
Definetly using the "my boyfriends a gangster"!!love that one!!
x
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Messed that quote up!! ansew is at bottom
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"Is that really you in the pictures?
Hmm..you would imagine my verification photo, field reports and the sixty-odd feedback ratings confirming that yes, that is indeed moi would be enough but alas, no. :FF
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My favourite come backs
Client: "do you have a boyfriend"
Escort: "do you have a wife?"
Client: "what does your boyfriend do?"
Escort: "he's an arms dealer/drug dealer/ body guard/cage fighter/policeman/russian mobster"
Client: "do your parents know you do this?"
Escort: "do your kids know you see escorts?" / "does your boss know you're here?"
Client: "how much money do you make?"
Escort: "how much money do you spend every year escorts?"
Love love love this!!! Especially the last 2....elle_e this is pure class! xxx
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Client: "what does your boyfriend do?"
Escort: "he's an arms dealer/drug dealer/ body guard/cage fighter/policeman/russian mobster"
I normally ignore the questions about the boyfriend/husband etc, but if they're really persistent I just say that he's in the industry as well, that usually shuts them up. There are of course those who don't give up and want to know more details, so I tell them he's a pornstar! Works every time without fail, they can believe it (and proceed to imagine my greek god of a bf lol!) which is highly unlikely, or simply think 'you're full of s**t, sweetheart'. Either way, they drop the subject ;D
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the most annoying question for me is do you do...(enter service that's not on my enjoy list and as gross as possible)
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"Do your parents know that you do this?"
I mean come on!
Next time I'll say 'oh they're the ones who introduced me to this, the profession runs in the family'. I'll start employing a new philosophy of 'ask stupid questions?expect stupid answers'.
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Client: "what does your boyfriend do?"
Escort: "he's an arms dealer/drug dealer/ body guard/cage fighter/policeman/russian mobster"
I absolutely love this and think I will go with 'oh, you mean Crusher? He's a no holds barred cage fighter with serious anger management issues', see what they think to that!!!!!
Or,
'He's in Strangeways at the moment but he's getting out soon'.
Tee hee hee!
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I don't mind questions so much although in my experience the question askers are usually time wasters or are going to be bad....but a few questions I think is fine even if they should have read it on my profile, a lot will just have seen photos and called...
what i HATE though is this:
1) "do you like (insert fisting/anal/watersports/whatever thing that probably I don't like) I want to do it to you so hard. ohhh you're gonna love it." as soon as they start the dirty talk I cancel them.
2) "will you do OWO? Why not? Can't you make an exception?" Oh you know what, yes I will make an exception because you're just that hot over the phone!!
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Oh I thought of one more.
He: "hello is that ___? I saw your ad on aw and i have some questions. Will you make me your financial slave?"
me: "hi. Look sorry but I'm with my friends/in the supermarket/at my mothers etc right now and I cannot talk. Can I call you back"
He: "oh sure, but just one more quick quick question. Will you dress me in ladies underwear and fuck me with a strap on?"
me: I have to call you back
He: "okay. because I don't mind being fucked with a strapon, or taken for a walk, and if you want your friends to come over and humiliate me then I'd like that too....
etc etc etc I'm really too nice but I just hate to hang up on a guy! Happens A LOT!
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1. 'Does your mum know you are doing this?'
2. 'I bet you earn a lot of money', which although technically is a statement, they are obviously looking for you to either deny or confirm the statement.
3. 'Have you been busy today?' is really not a nice question to have to answer, seeing as 'busy'=number of cocks sucked!
4. Guys immediately asking for your address over the phone, before they have asked anything else or made a booking!
5. 'How many children do you have?' - UGGGH!
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I don't normally do text but had to reply to this chancer.
Client not to be: Hi I'm feeling horny right now what can I have for ?15?
Me: I could give you a full on kiss in the hallway thats it.
Client will never be: ???
Me:????
Client times up:What about a wank?
Me:No I'm not working the streets today.
Client so blocked!:I don't understand.
Me: Me neither.
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1. 'Does your mum know you are doing this?'
2. 'I bet you earn a lot of money', which although technically is a statement, they are obviously looking for you to either deny or confirm the statement.
3. 'Have you been busy today?' is really not a nice question to have to answer, seeing as 'busy'=number of cocks sucked!
4. Guys immediately asking for your address over the phone, before they have asked anything else or made a booking!
5. 'How many children do you have?' - UGGGH!
I hate when they ask if ive got kids,its just wrong..ive ended a booking with this question,fucking perv..
i havent even got kids and it makes me mad..
even if there a regular and just ask, its still not what i want to discuss,in the situation we are in.
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I HATE it when they ask me things that can quite clearly be answered ON MY PROFILE.
So things like,
: What are you're rates? Please refer back to my profile.
: Where are you based? Please refer back to my profile.
: Why do I have to book online? Please refer back to my profile.
: Do you do x,y and z, my answer is usually
Yes of course have you not read my profile? Or no I don't, have you not read my profile?Clearly not.
THE MOST ANNOYING ONES!
Are you really 19? YES I AM (Happy to show ID to prove)
Are you boobs really real? YES OF COURSE THEY ARE! :FF
Why are you single? Because believe it or not I'm extremely inderpendent and actually like being on my own and don't NEED to be with someone to feel complete.
I hate being asked how many men I have seem that day assuming I must have seen a few. I don't mind them asking things like. Do you're family know? Because they do know and I'm quite happy to have a chat about things like that. As long as they are asking in a nice way of course.
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^ or much ????????????
or
'will we be alone' is a definitive way to get me to put my phone down immediately.
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^ or much ????????????
or
'will we be alone' is a definitive way to get me to put my phone down immediately.
That?s got to be one of the creepiest questions you could ask an escort and yes it would be enough for me to terminate the call and say ?no sorry my huge pimp and his posse will be sat on the edge of the bed throughout the meeting? ;D
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I get a number of callers who's launch into the conversation with, " Where you based?" Not even hello/how are you? firstly.
As I only do Outcalls, it's none of their beeswax and I politely tell them so.
Sometimes instead it's " How old are you?" both reasonable questions, but you'll put my back up if you bark it at me the first thing you say!
I also HATE the ' describe yourself' one ( willy-to-hand of course ) I havn't obliged since my very early days and it's amazing the number of blokes who are not interested in my weblink for full details, "RATES etc" instead.
Wonder why that is? ::)
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Oh i can't stand it when people don't even say "Hello"
I had one yesterday, rang and the first thing he said was "A'riiiigggghhhht"
I said "WHAT"
Him "Are you a'right ?"
Me "Go away" and hung up.
The other ones i hate are the ones that do say hello and then silence. :FF
Fools !
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Sometimes I'll put a bit of humour into replies, or turn it around is a good idea.
"Are you discrete?"
"No I have a neon sign outside/will shout about our meeting from the roof tops"
"Where are you based?"
"Where are you traveling to/from/where are you staying/which area are you visiting?"
"Are you sexy?"
"I'd be a bit stuck if I wasn't!"
"Will you wear something nice?"
"No I'll find something really horrible to wear"
"Do you really......?"
"No I just made it up for a joke"
Apart from the second one down these usually elicits a few laughs, breaks the ice but does rely on both people having the same sense of humour!
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This thread made me giggle. Cheers everyone! A few of my friends know I do this so I can answer the phone if I am around them. They snigger as I am so friendly on the phone, unlike my usual grumpy self. As I answer the phone I switch into charm offensive, smile and somehow I rarely get any irritating callers. Even though I am not the most tolerant and laidback person in private life, once I hit ?work mode? I am really friendly and patient.
My thoughts on some of the points raised here is that a lot of guys are really nice normally but they are nervous as hell when they call us. Don?t any of you get like that when you are in a situation where you are a bit apprehensive and nervous? Well, I blabber, waffle and come out with some really daft things. Stating the obvious n? all. I had some majorly successful guys call me, stammering and talking total bollocks including some of the stuff mentioned here for the first seconds of the call. I just smile at the phone and usually within a minute they regain the power of normal speech and can string some proper sentences together. Few things get my hackles up. If anything does, I don?t show it on the phone and politely tell them I am busy. I just avoid any confrontational exchange and minimise stress that way or I just don't answer the phone ;D
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I find it sooo rude when you answer 'hello how can I help' and you get 'Ye you workin?' grrrr.
When they ask you if you do services that you don't offer and beg you to do it. 'aw babe what can I say to change your mind?'
EFF YOU! Leave your money at my door and be on your way ;D
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1. 'Does your mum know you are doing this?'
2. 'I bet you earn a lot of money', which although technically is a statement, they are obviously looking for you to either deny or confirm the statement.
3. 'Have you been busy today?' is really not a nice question to have to answer, seeing as 'busy'=number of cocks sucked!
4. Guys immediately asking for your address over the phone, before they have asked anything else or made a booking!
5. 'How many children do you have?' - UGGGH!
When they ask if my mum knows I always say 'Does your mum know?'
How long have you been doing this? My answer 'how long have you been hiring prossies?'
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How long have you been doing this? My answer 'how long have you been hiring prossies?'
[/quote]
;D That's my line too! I can't resist coming back with that one. Serves them right. Although sometimes, I think maybe they are just desperately trying to make conversation and relate to me not thinking.. Still pisses me off though >:( Especially clients of the travelling variety. ''What's a nice girl like you doing this for eh..'' Admittedly, I don't retort to these type of fella's with the line. They frighten me a little lol. Nightmare ::)
Enquiries from young cocky clients (that I refuse anyway) ''Can you do it for 30? Boils my piss :FF
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Had a v silly question earlier on today from a rather young sounding cocky type, who felt the need to tell me his life story along with a physical and then the following:
Him:?So are you interested??
Me: ?Sure, I?m interested in your wallet. Would you like to book?"
Him: *click*
Bloody charming!!! Why ask me then??? grrrr ::)
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Dont know if it's already been mentioned, but realised my most common, and most annoying question is
"I cum really really quick in like two minutes, how much is this"
I tend not to reply anymore.
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Had a v silly question earlier on today from a rather young sounding cocky type, who felt the need to tell me his life story along with a physical and then the following:
Him:?So are you interested??
Me: ?Sure, I?m interested in your wallet. Would you like to book?"
Him: *click*
Bloody charming!!! Why ask me then??? grrrr ::)
Lmfao!!!!
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How long have you been doing this? My answer 'how long have you been hiring prossies?'
;D That's my line too! I can't resist coming back with that one. Serves them right. Although sometimes, I think maybe they are just desperately trying to make conversation and relate to me not thinking.. Still pisses me off though >:( Especially clients of the travelling variety. ''What's a nice girl like you doing this for eh..'' Admittedly, I don't retort to these type of fella's with the line. They frighten me a little lol. Nightmare ::)
Enquiries from young cocky clients (that I refuse anyway) ''Can you do it for 30? Boils my piss :FF
[/quote]
Yeah 'you're a pretty girl why do you do this?' WOULD YOU PAY ME IF I WAS REALLY UGLY?! Lol..
I actually find that one bloody insulting were they expecting me to have 6 eyes or something ::)
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One that I've been getting often recently...
"Your husband lets you do this?"
No one LETS me do it, I do it cos *I* want to!