SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: VoluptuousCurves on 27 November 2020, 05:50:56 pm
-
It occurred to me that along with the old staples of "horny men don't read" and "men will say anything for sex" that there are actually quite a few things that I have learned in this job that I had no idea about before starting sex work.
1. Human bodies are actually really variable, and the "arrangement" of people's sex organs can be miles apart. EG some guys have their anus literally right below their balls, whereas others they are a lot further back/down. Which means if you're giving them strap on you need to be flexible with which position suits them best.
2. Men don't need to have an erection to orgasm/ejaculate.
3. The majority of men really don't care about cellulite, stretch marks, wobbly bits, skinny bits, scars, or anything else on your body that makes you feel self-conscious. They do care about the quality of service.
4. Although women feel it to a much greater degree, a lot of men are also insecure about their bodies, particularly guys with small dicks.
5. Some men get turned on by being humiliated, and in ways that were very surprising to me. I knew about small penis humiliation, cuckolding, but racial humiliation was a new one on me.
Apologies if this topic has been done before, I did a search but didn't find anything!
-
...3. The majority of men really don't care about cellulite, stretch marks, wobbly bits, skinny bits, scars, or anything else on your body that makes you feel self-conscious...
...and you don't know just how RELIEVED I was to discover that!
Three cheers for the horny bloke who just wants a vagina (or a woman's mouth) to enable him to disburden his testes! ;D
-
God I could write War and Peace on this..
1. Men can't follow instructions and will literally get lost because they don't listen
2. Some clients expect you to be a mind reader instead of actually being upfront about what they want
3. Some clients think this is a hobby, not a business and we're all raving nymhomaniacs
4. Some clients want a right now booking as we're all just sitting around in lingerie waiting for their message
5. Some clients think they're special and we'll change our plans to spend time with them, despite actually having a life
6. Some clients think it's ok to haggle with you on price like you haven't got bills to pay
7. Some clients waste time asking questions that could be answered if they actually bothered to read your profile
8. Some clients can't seem to use proper English or form complete sentences with punctuation
9. Some clients despite requesting a particular form of communication i.e. texting, they think it's ok to ring at 3am in the morning
10. Some clients think it's ok to treat you as an object, rather than a human being because of your chosen profession
-
The amount of disillusion of [mainly] men. Some genuinely think that I'll believe them when they tell me about the last girl that was a live in exclusive escort ... yup.
Also, how many lovely men actually partake in the hobby. Without experience even I thought only a certain type would indulge. I certainly have my favourites.
-
Also, how many lovely men actually partake in the hobby. Without experience even I thought only a certain type would indulge. I certainly have my favourites.
God yes! Before SW I thought all punters would fit the mainstream narrative of ugly and/or abusive. So another thing i've learned is that there really isn't an average or typical punter. There are as many reasons for a guy to buy sex as there are guys who buy sex. Everyone has their own reasons and motivations, and they rarely fit the societal normal view.
-
God yes! Before SW I thought all punters would fit the mainstream narrative of ugly and/or abusive. So another thing i've learned is that there really isn't an average or typical punter. There are as many reasons for a guy to buy sex as there are guys who buy sex. Everyone has their own reasons and motivations, and they rarely fit the societal normal view.
I know for a fact (by accidentally glimpsing someone's phone) that the loveliest people do indeed hire us. It just means I have to work further away!
I love this thread!
-
Adding to other posts, you can totally do this work without being classically beautiful. Personality and quality of service play a huge part.
-
Point 3 is so true!
They don't care
-
...Some clients think this is a hobby, not a business and we're all raving nymhomaniacs
Haha, earlier this week, a guy asked if I offer everything on my "Enjoys" list in a 45-minute booking. I told him to replace "Enjoys" with "Activities that I am prepared to perform for money." His response was to cancel...which just made me giggle!
-
Point 3 is so true!
They don't care
Yep, long live the horny, non-judgemental punter! ;D
-
The sheer amount of 'stuff' I need to take with me on an outcall, and individual pouches to group things into so I don't have to rummage around in my handbag. If it wasn't so bloody ugly, a carpet bag like Mary Poppins' would be ideal.
-
The sheer amount of 'stuff' I need to take with me on an outcall, and individual pouches to group things into so I don't have to rummage around in my handbag. If it wasn't so bloody ugly, a carpet bag like Mary Poppins' would be ideal.
+1
;D
-
I've found it convenient to keep a checklist of everything I need before I leave. Maybe we should compare notes of what to include on the list.
I've also learned (at least pre-COVID) to never leave home without at least plenty of my favorite condoms, lube, and wipes in my purse--just in case I need to do an unplanned outcall I am prepared. I do like knowing my schedule when I wake up, but...
-
having a shit day today (not work related) but this thread gave me the smile I needed.
thanks ladies
-
God I could write War and Peace on this..
1. Men can't follow instructions and will literally get lost because they don't listen
2. Some clients expect you to be a mind reader instead of actually being upfront about what they want
3. Some clients think this is a hobby, not a business and we're all raving nymhomaniacs
4. Some clients want a right now booking as we're all just sitting around in lingerie waiting for their message
5. Some clients think they're special and we'll change our plans to spend time with them, despite actually having a life
6. Some clients think it's ok to haggle with you on price like you haven't got bills to pay
7. Some clients waste time asking questions that could be answered if they actually bothered to read your profile
8. Some clients can't seem to use proper English or form complete sentences with punctuation
9. Some clients despite requesting a particular form of communication i.e. texting, they think it's ok to ring at 3am in the morning
10. Some clients think it's ok to treat you as an object, rather than a human being because of your chosen profession
I’m a pretty easy going person but point 6. it’s one that really boils my piss!
-
That it is OKAY to say no. I think that women in general....& super trying not to get on a soap box here ~ are so conditioned to say yes & be nurturers, that we’ve not realized we have to be able to say it. It gets us out of dangerous situations, & not doing things we don’t want to do, & listening to that damned gut instinct of yours ~ it’s rarely wrong.
I just really wish I’d had this knowledge/radar 30 years ago. I’d be in much better shape financially & emotionally, that’s for damn sure.
-
That it is OKAY to say no. I think that women in general....& super trying not to get on a soap box here ~ are so conditioned to say yes & be nurturers, that we’ve not realized we have to be able to say it. It gets us out of dangerous situations, & not doing things we don’t want to do, & listening to that damned gut instinct of yours ~ it’s rarely wrong.
Completely this! I have always struggled with the "N" word but it clicked very early on in sex work for me that this is a magical and powerful word and I always am well within my right to say it. :) Listening to your gut is the most invaluable piece of information I have learned - It never lies!
What I say to myself every time something feels weird is: "If it feels hinky as hell, don't do it. Rather be safe at home in my jimjams and 'lose' someone for acting suspicious, than be in a serious predicament"
-
.
-
That a horny man has a real issue with listening to and then following basic directions. The entrance to my apartment building is round the back and hidden from street view so I can't just give them the number, I have to direct them to the door whilst on the phone to them whilst watching them from my window. Dear God it's hard work. Go through the next gate on your left (*walks straight past the next 2 gates then turns right into opposite buildings gate...*)
It's hard to remain discrete whilst shouting "Oi!!! I'm here!!!" From my balcony...
-
...that I'd unknowingly been walking around with a goldmine between my legs for most of my life haha
+1000!!
Haha!
-
.
-
Oh and also! I learned that when a guy/punter uses the word "genuine", it's a pretty good indicator that he is the exact opposite of the word lol
Especially when they insist on telling you what a 'nice' guy they are ::)
-
Oh and also! I learned that when a guy/punter uses the word "genuine", it's a pretty good indicator that he is the exact opposite of the word lol
Some idiot who I got a bad feeling about and told him I couldn’t see, insisted he was genuine, then texted some long winded text, actually signing himself MR GENUINE
What a dick.
-
Even the posh once who are very well spoken can still be timewasters
-
some things I have learnt, that maybe haven't already been said:
1/. I will never, probably ever, be able to trust a man. I have met some really nice genuine guys (most married or in a relationship) and it just makes me think, how easy it would be for my boyfriend to see an escort behind my back, and i could be none the wiser.
2/. I am massive hypocrite in the sense that, while I would continue to escort in a relationship I would feel really hurt if my partner saw an escort (for me this is a job and income not an emotional sex thing)
3/. Most men will cum in under 5 mins. especially the ones who give it the big one about 'multiple cums during the booking'. (Book one hour, pop in 5, out in 15!)
4/. Men are ignorant pisstakers!
-
some things I have learnt, that maybe haven't already been said:
1/. I will never, probably ever, be able to trust a man. I have met some really nice genuine guys (most married or in a relationship) and it just makes me think, how easy it would be for my boyfriend to see an escort behind my back, and i could be none the wiser.
2/. I am massive hypocrite in the sense that, while I would continue to escort in a relationship I would feel really hurt if my partner saw an escort (for me this is a job and income not an emotional sex thing)
3/. Most men will cum in under 5 mins. especially the ones who give it the big one about 'multiple cums during the booking'. (Book one hour, pop in 5, out in 15!)
4/. Men are ignorant pisstakers!
One issue with escorting is that you are dependent on the pool of men who hire escorts....
My solution has always been to attract the highest quality clients I can, and ensure they can't resist returning to me until they are dependable regulars.
-
Especially when they insist on telling you what a 'nice' guy they are ::)
Exactly! Nice people don't have to convince others that they are nice lol
-
Some idiot who I got a bad feeling about and told him I couldn’t see, insisted he was genuine, then texted some long winded text, actually signing himself MR GENUINE
What a dick.
Hahaaa! I'm sure he would have been an absolute ball of sunshine lol what a tosspot
-
I might be alone in this but almost every man who has messaged me and signed off as "Jay/J" turns out to be a Timewaster. Whenever I see or hear that name my heart sinks...
Obviously every Jay can't be a time wasting idiot but for some strange reason every Jay that contacts me turns out to be a proper plonker!
-
I might be alone in this but almost every man who has messaged me and signed off as "Jay/J" turns out to be a Timewaster. Whenever I see or hear that name my heart sinks...
Obviously every Jay can't be a time wasting idiot but for some strange reason every Jay that contacts me turns out to be a proper plonker!
HAAHAHAHAHAHA! ;D ;D Tell me about it , ive got 12 Jays blocked on my phone :FF :FF, but one that is a regular and nice( maybe he isnt really a true Jay after all )
-
I concur with the 'Jay' and 'J's. I don't even bother putting my brew down.
-
Yes, I concur re. Jay! Also, it never ceases to amaze me how many are called Andy.
-
Jays... yeah me too!
-
Glad I'm not alone... There's something about Jay! They tend to be the kind of guy that uses this emoji at the end of every message as well- 🙈
Whenever that bloody monkey makes an appearance I'm off!!!
-
I also get it with Jay, but Adam is the worst for me.
-
I also get it with Jay, but Adam is the worst for me.
Adam is definitely the one for me lol x
-
Fuck Adam and Jay.
I have so many of those assholes.
-
Especially when they insist on telling you what a 'nice' guy they are ::)
And from all accounts, Ted Bundy (famous American serial killer)was a nice guy too🙄. IDGAF if you’re a nice guy.
-
And from all accounts, Ted Bundy (famous American serial killer)was a nice guy too🙄. IDGAF if you’re a nice guy.
And don't forget the classic "I'm not a Timewaster!" Because timewasters let us know that they're timewasters beforehand...
-
I just saw a video titled 'Did Homo Sapiens really mate with Neaderthals'? Like it is some bloody question!
What I have learnt is men will fuck a shoe, they'd probably try to fuck a goldfish, they will fuck a pie (American Pie)if nothing else is available, they will fuck anything at all.
That's why this is a job that even keeps some of us moderately busy even during a pandemic.
-
I just saw a video titled 'Did Homo Sapiens really mate with Neaderthals'? Like it is some bloody question!
What I have learnt is men will fuck a shoe, they'd probably try to fuck a goldfish, they will fuck a pie (American Pie)if nothing else is available, they will fuck anything at all.
That's why this is a job that even keeps some of us moderately busy even during a pandemic.
Exaggeration, but there's a hidden truth. It's the same throughout nature. Look at how some male dogs try to hump anyone and anything. They don't know why they are doing it. It's a basic urge they themselves don't understand. Most men know because they have been told, but there's a broad spectrum of behaviour, and we only see the tip of the iceberg.
-
I've learnt that I have absolutely no interested in being committed to any man, ever, and that my relationships with men are a lot, lot, lot healthier and more beneficial to my self esteem, my personal ambition and my bank account when they occur by the hour.
-
- People that sound nice sound nice because they are good at sounding nice, not because they are nice: just because they give the impression of being someone who will follow through doesn't mean they will
- Body language is a better barometer of whether someone is enjoying themselves than an erection is
- "I'll call you back" means "never mind"
- Keeping accurate records for tax purposes is satisfying but also depressing when you have a bad week
- A good pair of speakers and some coloured mood lighting can turn even the most basic of bedrooms into a sexy environment
And these two are specific to M4M sex work:
- It's all about the D
- Most gay men in 2020 are really open minded about sex work (I'm out as a SW to basically all my friends)
-
- People that sound nice sound nice because they are good at sounding nice, not because they are nice: just because they give the impression of being someone who will follow through doesn't mean they will
- Body language is a better barometer of whether someone is enjoying themselves than an erection is
- "I'll call you back" means "never mind"
- Keeping accurate records for tax purposes is satisfying but also depressing when you have a bad week
- A good pair of speakers and some coloured mood lighting can turn even the most basic of bedrooms into a sexy environment
And these two are specific to M4M sex work:
]Most gay men in 2020 are really open minded about sex work (I'm out as a SW to basically all my friends)[/li]
[/list]
My male gay friends all know about my work so I agree they're open minded in my experience! Women have tended to look on me with pity or scorn.
Another thing I've learned is that a lot of guys really like sensual massage and it's a popular service in itself.
-
Another thing I've learned is that a lot of guys really like sensual massage and it's a popular service in itself.
Yeah. I'm rubbish at it but I find that when they are on their front the old "penis brushing against them as I do the massage" quickly distracts them enough to turn it into a fuck.
But I really need to go on some massage courses.
-
Yeah. I'm rubbish at it but I find that when they are on their front the old "penis brushing against them as I do the massage" quickly distracts them enough to turn it into a fuck.
But I really need to go on some massage courses.
I didn't do a course,there are videos on YouTube which are quite helpful. I learned from another lady to incorporate credit card swipes down the bum crack and reach unders :)
-
More a confirmation that pretty much all men think with their cocks.
(Case in point - I added a search bar to my website today and within an hour, there were numerous searches for 'cock', 'cocks' and 'blow job' ::)
-
I learned:
1. TO SET BOUNDARIES, before this work I never felt good with saying no and doing something for sake of my own comfortability.
2. That most people cheat because they're unable to communicate their sexual needs or they're just simply bored.
3. That I'm way more attracted to older than me men for ex in their 40-50 than guys in my age. And I think they're better in bed. Of course not all of them but I feel like approach to sex is completely different.
4. How to have orgasm during sex, before I was able to cum with masturbation only 😅
5. That all body types are beautiful and all body types are attractive for someone. I completely accepted and embraced my curvy body. I thought I was confident before but now... I'm on top of my life confidence.
-
2. That most people cheat because they're unable to communicate their sexual needs or they're just simply bored.
Add to that: They're afraid to communicate their needs because they might be judged or rejected, or because their partner has a low libido/children/stressful job and is not paying attention to his/her sexual needs, because engaging in a honest conversation is way too scary and it can lead to "rock the marriage boat" or divorce, because (men specially) would rather be in a bad marriage and cheat than facing divorce and the prospect of ending alone, because ending a marriage is not always possible (young children, financial dependency, mortgage, family pressure or plain greed).
I found out there's way too many reasons why people cheat.
-
The sheer number of men actively seeking paid for sexual services.
I must admit that I have been a little taken aback, not least because most women, particularly married women, are insistent that their partner/boyfriend/ex/whatever would never, and has never paid for sex.
-
I've learned that I'd genuinely, genuinely rather earn on my back or my knees than do office work. I mean that more wholeheartedly than I can say.
-
I think when it comes to sex and sexual desires, society as a whole is too judgemental and so many people are too embarrassed to express their desires even to their partners.
I think its great we are able to offer certain services to our clients which they may not get at home. One of my regulars says his partner wont even give him a blowjob.
I am quite broad minded but there are some things i don't do.
-
You're right there's definitely a weird combination of salaciousness and prudishness in this society.
-
I've learned that I'd genuinely, genuinely rather earn on my back or my knees than do office work. I mean that more wholeheartedly than I can say.
God yes 100%. I had a really good job before entering sex work, was on a good career progression track, worked with some great people, was using my skills and experience to improve productivity and working conditions for my direct reports.
Yet even as irritating as this job can get with time wasters, I would 100% not ever go back to the kind of job where I have to bite my tongue and be diplomatic with dickhead colleagues. And I'm pretty easy-going generally, I'm not hard to get on with. But at least when I get a dickhead punter, I can grit my teeth through the booking in the sure and certain knowledge that a) I've just taken £120 off him so I can put up with his bullshit for an hour, and b) as soon as he's out the door I can just save him as "Boring bastard don't see again". Not something you can do with a colleague, sadly.
If I leave sex work I might go back to the same industry but I'd be contracting. I wouldn't be a salaried employee for anyone else again. I'd rather know that my earnings are directly related to how hard I work and how good at the job I am.
-
Yes I don't think I could cope with an actual boss again. I need to be in charge of my own destiny.
-
I've learned that I'd genuinely, genuinely rather earn on my back or my knees than do office work. I mean that more wholeheartedly than I can say.
Absolutely, I'll never take sex work for granted again if we ever get back to normal. Some of the customers are annoying and the timewasters make me want to shoot someone but even with the bad bits I'd still rather do this than work 40-60 hours a week in a shit job for shit money.
-
Absolutely, I'll never take sex work for granted again if we ever get back to normal. Some of the customers are annoying and the timewasters make me want to shoot someone but even with the bad bits I'd still rather do this than work 40-60 hours a week in a shit job for shit money.
Exactly. How can I go back to minimum wage after this?
-
One of my regulars says his partner wont even give him a blowjob.
Only one!
I've had loads tell me that.
-
God yes 100%. I had a really good job before entering sex work, was on a good career progression track, worked with some great people, was using my skills and experience to improve productivity and working conditions for my direct reports.
Yet even as irritating as this job can get with time wasters, I would 100% not ever go back to the kind of job where I have to bite my tongue and be diplomatic with dickhead colleagues. And I'm pretty easy-going generally, I'm not hard to get on with. But at least when I get a dickhead punter, I can grit my teeth through the booking in the sure and certain knowledge that a) I've just taken £120 off him so I can put up with his bullshit for an hour, and b) as soon as he's out the door I can just save him as "Boring bastard don't see again". Not something you can do with a colleague, sadly.
If I leave sex work I might go back to the same industry but I'd be contracting. I wouldn't be a salaried employee for anyone else again. I'd rather know that my earnings are directly related to how hard I work and how good at the job I am.
As well as doing this I have a well paid office job. However the job I'm doing now isn't fulfilling and I'm not as good at it as previous office jobs.
I'm so thankful my colleagues and manager are so nice and that counts for more but I think they quietly believe I'm not as good at the job as others in the team (plus I have less to do than everyone else) and I want to quit so much now. They have no idea that I'm actually making four times more than any of them now and I'd love to tell them. I'm reaching a point where I'm not interested in finding another job though and jumping through all the hoops they put you through these days.
-
I just find "normal" work really trying now. I try to be mature about it but it's a struggle.
-
I just find "normal" work really trying now. I try to be mature about it but it's a struggle.
That!
I just can't imagine doing a regular job now. Unless it's a high paid profession like a doctor or lawyer... Sexwork also motivated me to study and pushed my ambitions towards this kind of high pay fields. And most importantly sex work allowed me to study full time!
-
Things i have learned through sex work:
1 # first time I felt what an orgasm was
2 # there are customers who are aged from 18years to 92years old
3 # there are many penises of size and shapes
4 # most men with small penises ask me: what do you think my penis is small?
5 # there are wonderful, beautiful men who often have divine sex and pay you ...!
6 # that there are many clients who like women of different races and do not care about their physique
7 # many clients have more pleasure in making you feel good than in theirs
8 # also that there are bad clients and that they rob you or ask for the money back after sex
9 # there are a lot of TW and Not show, they do it for pure pleasure to waste your time
10 # that some clients can fall in love with you and that sometimes I myself have semi / fallen in love with some client ...