Text: "Hi mummy any sweeties today?"...he's a regular
and an adult.

I found a used condom floating in the toilet just now. I had to fish the condom out (with the contents leaking out) with toilet paper sticking to it.

WHY?! I don't know what annoys me more: the fact that he thought it was OK to put condoms down my toilet, or the fact he didn't bother flushing at all!

Take the condom off the client for them! I always do that using either a tissue or a wet wipe and then tidy either with a flannel or a wet wipe (if I'm touring I don't have enough flannels for that.)

I had this client a couple of months ago and during a 69 I could smell something a bit funky, but he'd had a shower so I thought maybe he was just a smelly person. But then he shifted his hips and I was met with the site of dried up crusty shit in his butt crack pubes. 

Yup, it was disgusting. I was busy after that every time he tried to rebook.

xx

I have a client who has really dry lips and when they gather moisture when he's kissing me it culminates in us both getting a load of soggy white flakes on both of our mouths, yuck!

OMG. I just came on here to state the same thing!

Have an older client I see sometimes and he has horrible dry cracked lips and I literally just spent the last hour feeling this horrible stringy piece of wet skin stick to my lip. At one point it attached itself to my lips and into my mouth and I actually gagged, but hid it very well. I can handle a lot of things, but this is one of the few things that actually makes me gag!
x

I have a client who has really dry lips and when they gather moisture when he's kissing me it culminates in us both getting a load of soggy white flakes on both of our mouths, yuck! He doesn't book for sex and just enjoys a lot of kissing and cuddling so sometimes it's two full hours of kissing and having this happen. It always makes me feel sick and god knows how I can address the issue without offending him. He's such a lovely man so it's unfortunate.

Next time he visits, kiss him for a short bit, then remark that his lips are a bit chapped today and offer a lip balm. Note, 'today' is there for a reason. Make it sound like a one-off and combine with a polite suggestion, shouldn't be any more of a problem than asking a client to have a shower at the start of the meet.

I hate pre-cum......sooooooooooooooo SALTY 

It's a bit odd. If I get clients who can't cum then I say to them "Do you want to finish yourself off, I can play with myself if that will help or talk dirty? Just tell me what you think will help"

I would find it a bit strange if they went off and just did it on their own in another room. But I do consider my bathroom to be a "working room" as I do offer showers, so I wouldn't feel too much as if it had gone over my boundaries.

I always put away all my personal stuff in the bathroom before a client arrives. Toothbrush, flannel, scrubby thing, etc. Luckily I have a big cupboard in my bathroom. So I just leave out the "spare" toothbrushes, mouthwash, and mens shower gel and deodorant. So if they make a mess of any sort, at least it will be not on my stuff.

That's reminded me, a client shouted me from the bathroom the other day for a clean towel (in a hotel). I went in and got him another from the wardrobe but I'd already pointed out the ones opn the shelf. Then I realised my fake tan had dripped on the "clean" towel, it looked like a skidmark  Oh god, I doubt I'll see him again!