The one I’ve had the most recently is “so what are you investing your money in”. I’m a single parent just about getting through life leave me alone.

The ones that follow my profile like a hawk and quiz me on a day I had off or a new area I'm visiting 

Has anyone ever asked a client to shower because he has applied far too much aftershave/perfume/bodyspray. This man was clean wasn't hiding any BO or cheesyness, but the smell of his aftershave hit me as I walked in - the strongest I have ever encountered in 10+ years of experience. There were other things held me back in this booking, he and his property were clean and warm (have been in some well-appointed properties that have been very cold/cool temperature (I cannot stand the cold!))but lacking even basic home comforts.

I did tell him on the way out that it was overpowering, he thought he was doing the right thing. Could also have been to try conceal smoke from cigarettes.

It was so heavy my stockings are still too pungent to wear for another booking after two handwashes.

I always look back with hindsight wonder if I could have asked him to shower?One reason I didn't was some of the other circumstances as well as how he had come across.

I get clients to call when they're at my postcode so I can give final directions in person and get them to walk into my view before I tell them which door to come to.
The number of idiots who are walking round my neighbourhood with me giving directions ON SPEAKERPHONE is staggering.
And they're asking me if my location is discreet. Fucking morons.

Does not surprise me, had lots shouting into phones outside various properties over the years - many very paranoid they would be seen. I used to point the door and path out at distance. These days I text discretion information (things not to do, explaining that if I do not mention this people do it), along with postcode when I receive deposit, then full directions to door when they confirm their appointment.

Discretion info in advance, that's a good idea.
When I'm in apartments I give them the door number on the phone, and they bloody repeat it out loud. Gah!

I've all sorts of tales running up communal stairs clutching cash shouting my name in greeting, leaving shouting back this was a small block of flats. Phoning from outside have had the door pointed out (very distinct door with door number by the side) to ask "Is it number....." I could hear them from inside the property. In a block of flats (mostly all small blocks in the town I used to work in) I advised in advance the buzzer on keypad at the back wasn't working, please come to the front. He went to the back pressed other buttons asked neighbours to let him in 'I'm here to see Mirror in flat xx".  :'(

Years ago i remember one twat i wanted to torture, he turned up at my flat where you have to buzz in. Small block of apartments and summer time with Windows open and when i buzzed him in and said nothing for discretion he never came in and buzzed again and i said come in push the door he then said hi just want to know do you to reverse and oral and toy shows and is it in with the price?? I could not believe it. Chances are a neighbour would have heard that with the windows open and yep they did as a week later i was told to get out as they know what is going on. I ordered a Voodoo doll for him.

Just awful, and ignorant it's as if people do not think. I do allow for punters really not knowing because they do not walk in our shoes. For some years I found it difficult when one or two clients told me they felt the block I used to work from was ideal for their discretion. In reality it was not, and visitors were noticed. Not least when they slammed the door, or parked in other residents numbered spaces.

When I worked from hotels I used to sometimes wonder whether I ought to be telling them walk straight in and call from in front of the desk, then loudly repeat my room number a few times before making for the lift. Hopefully they would do the opposite of what I told them, which is what used to happen when I'd asked them to call from outside and try to be discreet.

A good part of my working in hotels is that are discreet generally. But some stupids go to reception and ask them to call me to announce: "Ms. X wants to visit you". When happened this I told them: " I don't know MR X"
How some of them ( once, or twice like that) can be so stupid?!

The level of fuckwit here is off the scale. I'm grateful I never had this to put up with.