Don't wash their cocks properly in the sink (I insist!)

I spent a half hour booking giving a lesson on penis hygiene after scraping off the fucking limescale. He thought he had a disease ffs. I swear if I'd told him he had Cockeritis he would have gone straight to hospital. 

Ask me when i'm free then when i tell them I'm free at so and so time or free all day tomorrow they don't reply. I hate when clients ask this. Not sure if I should have put this under how not to book an escort.. It's like they have no interest in booking in the first place but just want to wind you up. I've started ignoring guys that ask me when I'm free now. If you want to book just email me a date and time and if it suits then we go ahead with it.. 

I know, right? What sort of a muppet asks questions like "what's your availability like this week?" What do they want - my week's diary on a spreadsheet?

Quote from: Shania on 16 October 2015, 01:07:56 pm

Ask me when i'm free then when i tell them I'm free at so and so time or free all day tomorrow they don't reply. I hate when clients ask this. Not sure if I should have put this under how not to book an escort.. It's like they have no interest in booking in the first place but just want to wind you up. I've started ignoring guys that ask me when I'm free now. If you want to book just email me a date and time and if it suits then we go ahead with it.. 

I know, right? What sort of a muppet asks questions like "what's your availability like this week?" What do they want - my week's diary on a spreadsheet?

I've never got why they ask this! I resonpd with well roughly what time are you looking for on which day and I'll see what I can do.. and they do seem to want a little spreadsheet or print out of our diaries. I get so annoyed after a couple of rounds of when are you free? When are you looking for I just tell them to get back to me when they know a time and hang up. I have no patients for this question at all.

Guys who have totally unrealistic expectations.Just had a crossdresser asking if I can provide clothes well yes i have lots of clothes so no probs.Then asking if i can do makeup yes no probs..can I do false eyelashes and fake nails for him er no not unless he brings them and is happy going home with false painted nails on.I'm a hooker not a beauty parlour owner.

When they say they can't find a decent escort in the area, the next town, the county & the region  "dissatisfied douche" I'm going to call this dickhead I just had.

Yeah I hate that.  If they're are the types to slag off every escort they've seen it usually means that will be impossible to please and hate women in general!

Consistent messages on aw weeks or months before their imaginary booking !!
Or cancellation of their pre booked reality  visit .

Oh you are the best looking escort blah blah I can't wait to meet you we will do this that and the other
Oh I'm so sorry I can't make it  ...

Clients that do everything right until it comes to sex and they try and chance bareback, this winds me up SO much.
Clients that try to cram everything into 15 mins also.
Sex talk in texts.
Condescending twats.

Saw someone the other week who tried to sneak in without a condom and stopped him and he said oh yeah you don't want any diseases from me and I don't want any from you neither of us have got any but better safe than sorry....?! Well, I know I haven't but I don't know you haven't just by your say so and why attempt it before saying that then?! He then text recently asking to see me again and asked for a time I don't work, tried to cram everything into my offer on at the moment AND finished the text with sex talk and a "then I'm going to feed your pussy some cream without if possible!" Now I'm fairly certain that means he's asking for bareback, someone correct me if I'm reading that wrong? I didn't allow it the first time, why would I this time 


Oh and a new one for me- Clients feeling guilty afterwards and letting you know?

I offer BDSM and sub/dom services and saw someone recently who wished to try it for the first time and emailed me this morning saying he knows everything was consensual but he can't stop feeling guilty about what happened in the appointment and for the first time in a long time said a prayer for both of us- him to be forgiven and for me to find a better life because I don't deserve this life and am just a young girl. I'm 27! I understand those services aren't to everyones tastes and I understand some will feel guilty if it's new to them, but I'm perfectly fine with what I offer and sub/have a Dom in my personal life too, it was the condescending change my life, don't deserve this etc that pissed me off. He could have stopped the appointment at any time if he was uncomfortable just like I could, so don't try and dump your guilt on to me!

Quote from: hannah13 on 17 October 2015, 02:09:41 pm

"then I'm going to feed your pussy some cream without if possible!" Now I'm fairly certain that means he's asking for bareback, someone correct me if I'm reading that wrong?

Hmm. Have you got a cat?

Hahahaha. I do have a kitten actually and it's the same client who saw his bowl and asked about him and then spent 20 minutes telling me about his two cats!