When they walk straight out of the bathroom after urinating, without washing their hands... but quite keen on washing them just before they leave   

I absolutely hate this with a passion---when my lovely client wants to lick my face like he's  a dog, then proceed to stick his tongue in my ear lots of saliva every where it literally makes me feel sick ....ffs

Agree..my ears really don't enjoy being licked, sucked or probed by a slimy tongue.. and neither does my belly button! It really spoils the mood for me and I struggle to relax after that happens   

I think the most annoying thing that a client does but this is men in general (not all men obviously) but I hate it when they piss all over my bathroom floor. It grosses me out.

I had someone leave an actual puddle on my bathroom floor recently, so much so.......I had to take a picture of it.

Yuck 

Something I have just noticed this week... it has probably gone on before but I only noticed now. My medicine cabinet is often open after a booking. The cabinet is just over the toilet so I guess they have a nosy whilst they're having a pee.

Now I want to think of something funny to put in there. Perhaps a sign saying, "Congratulations! You have discovered the Key to a Special Treat! Say the magic word "petunia" when you go back into the bedroom and get a surprise!" Then I can tweak their noses and call them nosey parkers.

That's so funny. A jack in the box would be a great addition too lol But might end with a trip to a&e. Still,serve them right for looking!

Stick a giant butt plug in there with a note on it saying 'put this in before you come back'.

I have 3 regulars who have all been annoying the crap out of me lately.  Seems like the regulars can really start pushing our buttons  after a while...

Reg #1 thinks he's way too important with his big Hollywood lifestyle to actually set a time for an appointment, and has asked me to keep multiple days open for him.  Obviously that did not happen.  When he actually nailed down a time he then emailed me at 2 AM the morning before saying "my day is now packed, I will let you know if we wrap early early." My response: "Shockingly I prefer actual plans since I'm also quite busy, not to mention that's just common courtesy.  Let's consider the appointment canceled regardless of when you wrap.  I will be giving preference to people who are able to make concrete bookings moving forward, so unless you can do that I'm not the provider for you."  Haven't heard from him thank god, he can take his movie set and shove it, been there done and that left the film industry b/c of people like HIM!

Reg #2 insists on talking politics for like an hour.  Literally just shoving his opinions down my throat b/c he thinks he's so much older and wiser.  Sorry but I have more life experience at 25 than he'll have at 80...I think he realizes that and it makes him insecure.  But an appointment is not the time or place for that talk, not to mention our views are total opposite and it's so hard for me to keep my mouth shut and stay pleasant.  I was a bit harsh at the end of our last booking and have been wanting a reason to stop seeing him and I'm praying I don't hear from him again.

Reg #3 is a good guy but he wants to be the only one to do certain things with me and I have to be very firm in reminding him that this is business and the services I offer are available to anyone who passes my checks and will pay my rates.  He'll send me texts saying "save your ass for me" etc. and when I remind him that this is my business and no one gets anything saved for them, he says something along the lines of "I get that but I want you to be open for me/it will be better for you if you do."  Um, unless you're going to pay me the extra $$ I'll lose out on by saying no to anal all week, then no, it won't be better for me.  Blech.

When guys email or call claiming to be looking for a girl they will visit once a week/month, as though you're gonna lick their arse for the potential regular custom!

These in my experience never come to anything x