A new client yesterday. Booking went well I think, no reason to doubt it.

While putting his jeans back on and chatting to me he stated "well you are now in my top 3" 

I resisted the urge to give a cheeky response so just heard myself do a silly girly giggle (am too old for girly giggles) and then he said "let's see if you can move on up the queue to take top place"

He will not get the chance to find out. Twatty McTwatface.

    @ Twatty McTwatface.

I leave some lotion in the bathroom but some dude is all up in my body oil in the bedroom....stop touching my stuff dude.....

When they text you several times about non work stuff then saying I hate it when you ignore me. Text me when you want to book then you'll get a response.

Had one recently that kept farting on the bed and wanted to take a shit in my ensuite. I sent him to the cloakroom, I'm not listening to you taking a shit next to the bed!!

Constantly bringing old £50 notes. I know they are still usable but it’s getting on my nerves. Seen loads of them lately.

Some guy booked for a service scheduled in a week now starting to ask all kinds of questions about stuff he's not requested ..I can see the way this is going so I just messaged back when you come for your booking I'll go through all that then with you.
You know how they like to drag out the communication while jerking off and making a pathetic excuse to cancel 

Text messages like "hi hun, how are you?" Or I had one
" what are you up to"
It's so dumb. Why would I want to answer to that, it's clearly for me that will never turn into a booking.

Happens all the time