I’m not known for tolerance and I’m ok with that!

Client I’ve seen once saved in my phone as “nosy fat but ok”
Him could I interest you in a drink one night
Me (showing an unknown level of politeness) sorry I prefer not to mix business with my personal life
Him ok I’m just looking for a FWB or fuck buddy
Me might I suggest a dating site instead of asking a professional escort for that
Him nah I will stick to the professional so are you free Thursday
Me no
Him next Tuesday
Me no
I felt like replying to him that there’s a reason he gets to have sex with ladies like me which is purely money orientated and if I were to see him in a bar he would be the last person I would sleep with for free! Take a look in the mirror mate Jesus

The usuals too
Are you working?
Where did you get my number
Website
The one that says on every page that I’m working............

How much
States figure 50 over my rates
It says xxx on your site
That’s the rate for people who aren’t fecking stupid

I seem to have had these all week and it makes me wonder how some of them tie their own shoelaces MOST ANNOYING CLIENTS EVER

Callers who ask for details then ask "What do I like, what's my favourite thing?"  I've just had to explain to a grown man that this is not dating, it doesn't matter what I like I'm a service provider so I do what the client wants within my boundaries for payment. 

How many outfits have you got ,how many outfits are you wearing ?
One usually is my answer .they don't book they don't turn up they just wank

When they wont get off my clit straight away, even when I tell them they're hurting me. Or slap my face with a dick. 
ooh and when they put their fingers in my mouth. I bite when they do that, I bet their dick's cleaner than that finger.

For men who can't or don't want to read escorts profiles first maybe it's not for them!!!  buy a wank machine or doll and leave us alone.
 It's for the guys who know what to do.
Anytime now I will be sarcastic on this Damn tour.. 

Ask personal questions about other girls that you work with, they have already been denied that info from the girl so he thinks he’ll be sly and ask other girls to get the information.


Assume that the girls in your sauna are not colleagues but friends, after all they don’t see our work as real work so they find it perfectly acceptable to tell ‘your friends’ your business!


I’ve said this before but asking if I work everyday, doing a 12 hour shift, this is the most annoying deluded question I get asked and I always say ‘well I have a life like most human beings, I have family and friends and I’m human so cannot handle working every bloody day and especially in this job’, I also ask if they work everyday.

*takes notes*

‘Do you have a boyfriend’ yes I do ‘how does he feel about you doing this?’ He loves it as he’s full of energy from cage fighting would you like me to call him and get him to join in he’s bisexual and I would love to watch you both fuck! 

Stops them in their tracks every. Single. Time.

I'm totes using this although given my (advertised) age I might say my BF is in government and can ensure any undesirables get targeted for stop and search and/or ocr on their vehicle.