Eve ~ *snorts*
Escaped a chance of booking ...
Haw haw haw!! *gasps & wheezes, pig like*
Buncha stand up comics we are.
Haw haw!!!

It was all going quite well, today's booking. Fourth time visit to me and while he is not the most polite man there was nothing too concerning until he came out with this today when I am fucking my wife I am thinking of you

  I am not stupid and aware that some men may think of their latest sp visit when in bed with the wife but there is just no need to tell me!!!!!  He is now on a thin thread but he doesn't know it.

When , as you're giving them a bj , they say "I've had a wank just before coming here so I'd last longer" 

I saw one of my regular clients recently, never had a problem with him before, he books 30 minutes (normally 15 as he doesn’t last long at all) so we chat a little but then do what he was with me for, he then started to feel sick (admitted he had just eaten a kfc before coming to me) he vomited in my hotel bathroom for a good 20 minutes then came back into me but was clear he was in a bad way so I let him stay, whilst talking he started to tell me how I was so nice and I shouldn’t let anyone take advantage of me, I need to be more strict etc. Talked like this for ages while on and off running the bathroom to be sick. All in all he stayed an hour and 15 minutes when he felt well enough to leave he admits he only has £50.00 on him  so not only did he not have enough to pay for the hour he didn’t even bring the full £70.00 to pay for the half hour! All the time he was telling me not to let clients take advantage he knew he was going to underpay me. Safe to say he got blocked after that.

Had a client yesterday who said he'd do me a deal- he'd turn up in women's underwear next time if I told him my real name    Truly an offer I can't refuse  .

What IS this fascination with our real name? IDGI. In the urban fantasies I read, supposedly demons are very protective of their names, bc if you find out what it is, you can control them, make them do your bidding, send them back to the underworld, whatever. There's a parallel in here I'm sure😆😆.

I've gotten to the point where I just tell them, "Ok. It's Hortense." or something else off the wall (no offense meant to any Hortenses here naturally!).

I also have a “real name” I give up when really pressured by overbearing clients.
Usually something from whatever I’m watching on Netflix at the time. Lol

I tell them it's Imelda and show them a pic I have on my phone of my 👠

"You're so wonderful, I could just kidnap you".

Please don't 

And this is what passes for "sexy, appealing talk."🤦🏼‍♀️
Gah!!!