"your vagina is very hospitable"

yeah mate, leave me a review on tripadvisor why don't you?

Ya ha ha!

ha ha just got this from a regular, luckily (for him) he's one of my favourites as very polite, friendly and respectful

"Hi are you available Monday to go on an easter egg hunt together?"

adorable as it is, I don't think I'll be free lol

I had one potential client, the usual pre booking process, all normal. Then he has to ring to confirm, which after a few texts he did (I have to stand outside my place as bad signal speaking on phone) when he rang and I answered, straight away he was blabbling about being miserable and heard him mention something about Austraila and at first I thought oh here we go, he wants me to feel sorry for him and want a freebie/discount (didnt help with the fact signal still wasnt great) think he was on about having to move there and being miserable about it??? FFS (this was quite late at night too so low on patience) without swearing I managed to say, 'wow that was so random' Then he said about saying random things is good...well not when I am being paid for my time being an escort, so told him its really put me off and dont want to waste my time or his and then I hung up. My thought on that was WTF?!?! lol. Feel sad?? ring a helpline, not an escort!!! 

This actually upset me last night. Guy calls for 15 minutes booking, all is fine so I text him my postcode. In response I get 'Sorry I've just had a text back from someone else so I won't be coming to you.'

I found it quite vile although I'm not sure why it upset me so much.

I?ve had this happen to me! Or they tell me I was the third option lol

talking about new years-
I assume your new years resolution will be to do some exersise

(fuck off)

Ya ha ha!

- "I like seeing bigger girls, they appreciate it more" (Oh dear!)

- "bet you can't wait to have my cock inside you later on can you babe!"
(Believe me sweetheart, I can wait. If I never had another cock for the rest of my life, I wouldn't be arsed, well aside from the fact it's my job and I love the money, I'd happily had foot fetish clients for the rest of my working life! Haha)

-"In another life we'd be together"
(Erm no babe in nonother life would I ever look twice at you. You pay me for sex and buy me. Ice things, that is the arrangement - I'm a great actress!)

Oh there's so many to think about....

Regular Client: do not you get bored all the time locked up?

Me: no, I like it a lot and I never get bored

The: seriously? and you never go to the town?

Me: yes, to buy food, condoms and I really like to look at second-hand shops

The: Wow is incredible !!!

hahahhah they think we do not eat and that we have no life outside of this job, that we are not human lol

Phone call, I knew he was a wanker as soon as he said "good morning gorgeous" so I thought I'd have some fun with him.

Him: Do you specialise?
Me: What does that mean?
Him: Do you do oral without condom?
Me: Yes...
Him: And cum in mouth?
Me: Yes
Him: Mmmm, beautiful babe. And your photos, are they real?
Me: No, they're of my Grandma.
Him: What?
Me: They're of my Grandma.
Him: Uh... so what do you look like?
Me: I'm about 6 foot wide, 4 feet tall, upholstered in leather and I come with a footstool.
Him: Mmm, beautiful. Do you like anal?
Me: What?
Him: Anal?
Me: What?
Him: ANAL!
Me: Oh yes I love canals. Do you have a boat?

Fair play to your Grandma!!!  xxx