Since I've stopped working the amount of guys who have asked me yet if I've had my baby yet so they can give me another one. Vomit. 

'Do you know any other working girls? I'd love a girl on girl threesum'

The same client starts ranting about Australia's gay equality how it's disgusting, makes him sick, that it should be man and woman.

The fuck does that make sense. Also my profile doesn't lie, i'm not just gay for pay, I like men and women so wrong audience famalam.

Had a right perv on the phone yesterday who immediately got my TW senses tingling....

HIM-'Hi I was just reading your profile and would like some more information.
 
       (Long pause from him)

ME-'Well my profile is very informative....what information are you looking for?'

HIM- I'm extremely horny but I would like to know how many times I can cum in half an hour.

ME- As my profile states clearly it's a cum once in half an hour so .....I don't have any availability at the moment so perhaps if you call me another time?
( me trying to get off the phone)

(He starts interrupting getting flustered and sounds keen to stay on the phone)

HIM- I have another question....I see you have beautiful breasts....can you tell me if your nipples....

ME- (Irritated) Listen Darling I don't discuss stuff like this on the phone so thank you and goodbye!


Honestly he was such a bell end!!!!!


Today a guy booked and sounded okay but didn't confirm in the end. Immediately after booking I sent a postcode and then told him to confirm by 4pm. He then text back with the classic offputting line 'Are you alone?'

FFS! If I was I'm hardly going to tell him lol
   

     
     

This one is more what I said!

He said by text Hi sweetie I just found your profile so want to meet tomorrow!!!!!!! XXX


I said by return No you haven't just found my profile you made a booking in March and didn't confirm when you agreed you would so now you are classed as a timewaster.


Gotcha!

LOL brilliant love it. 
I had similar once.  A guy who hadn't shown up for an appointment a couple of months previously called and said he was looking to make an appointment that day.  I said I won't be making another appointment with you.  I could tell straight away he was a timewaster because he didn't say "another appointment?  We've never made an appointment before".  He just said "oh why's that?"  I said well you made an appointment in February (or whatever month it was) and you didn't show up or even contact me to cancel.  He said "are you sure?"  I said yes, I have the notes from the call and your text messages confirming still in my phone.  Didn't even have the decency to apologise.  Just another "oh".  He was one of the ones that made me realise the over descriptive ones are quite often TWs.  So I should thank him really I wasted a lot less time after that.  Why do they even bother, to not even go oh" I'm so sorry" and make up some rubbish excuse.  Just "oh".  No respect whatsoever.  I told him to pee off and hung up haha. 

I've had so many similar conversations with no shows over the years.Never once had one apologise.Always they either deny it,say they can't remember booking before or mumble about something having come up.When I ask them why they didn't text and tell me they couldn't make or even the day after get in touch and explain and apologise they haven't got a damn thing to say!Because it is bullshit!Basically no shows have no respect for us and probably do it so much they really can't remember making the previous appointment with you because they can't remember which one you are!

There's only one word for them...idiots (preferably with a lovely F word in front of it!)

Received all of these gems in the last 24 hours.

Can I come for a short time. Like a 10 minute wank by me while I watch you strip? Promise I am really quick so how much? 

Dress as a Santa elf or a fairy if you have the outfit and I will be there in a few minutes, where are you? 

Bet you could do with some extra cash at xmas so can we do a deal?   

By text this morning

" Hi gorgeous , do you ever feel broody ? "


I'm 48 

I had the same message I told him I had a hysterectomy 25 years ago....He then carried on with how he wants a roleplay where he gets me pregnant