'Are you pink inside?'

A seemingly totally random remark thrown into the conversation when someone tried to book me. I did query why he said it and his reply was 'dunno, it just popped into my head'.

I had a really bad booking with a very creepy guy once.  He stuck his fingers all the way inside me and started having a good feel around.  I stopped him but he looked at me very intently, tilted his head to the side and said ''don't take offence but have you ever had a miscarriage or had an abortion because it really feels like you have?''.  Wanker.

And no, he absolutely wasn't a doctor at all.  Really disturbing and it upset me quite a bit actually because I did have an abortion many years ago (and it was profusely botched) and what he said really fucked with my head.

I asked my doctor if there was any real chance he could tell, she laughed and said not a chance. 

It's no wonder this job makes us grumpy at times - we deal with utter loons like this! 

Posh old men can be about the stupidest of all. They're often a bizarre mix of arrogant know-it-all and infantile naivety.

An idiot a while back asked if I had a pimp. When I'd finished laughing and told him no he was genuinely surprised and asked "So how do you handle your money?!" Well enough without giving it to anyone else thankfully!
Same guy went at me relentlessly for the whole booking, after we'd finished I started getting dressed and he shouts "Wait! I haven't had my full time!" And whips out his stopwatch on his phone which was at 28 minutes... He left disappointed that I couldn't make him pop for the second time in 2 mins... Still made me try though!