So I was thinking we have sections for 'How not to book, describe last booking, creepy things they say' but I don't think we have section for dumb ass things they blurt out generally right after we've just drained their brains 

A normally quite intelligent regular of mine tonight at the end of booking:

'Wow, you've really caught the sun today. How did you do that, did you go outside at all?'

'No I stayed indoors under the duvet all day..... Did you seriously just ask that??'

Absolutely howling, thankfully both of us not just me!

Client.. So do you have someone immediately after me?
Me.  No I'm just going to do some shopping
Client.. Why? You have a whole box of condoms left.
Me. Ignores idiot comment.. 'no I'm going food shopping'
Client.. You really do that? In a normal supermarket..?  (looks horrified)

Yes because I couldn't possibly shop for anything other than condoms, like, you know, food.. They don't think of us as human

I had a guy see me twice - terribly posh guy. The second time I had just moved to my new flat.

When he came in he looked around and said, "Wow... I'm investing in a block of flats very similar to this. How did you get this flat? I need to know how to screen girls like you out!"

I just laughed at him and said that on paper I present as a perfectly ordinary person and there's nothing he could do about it.

Weirdo.

Obese client: You know if you lost a stone you would be really pretty!

It took every ounce not to shove that tacky bottle of Moet up his patooey.