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General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: browncandy on 30 November 2010, 12:30:44 pm

Title: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: browncandy on 30 November 2010, 12:30:44 pm
On Sunday I had the worst night of my life...
Someone called Micheal made an appointment with me overnight. First of all to even make this appointment I had to lie a lot to my parents. I even had to get an escort friend to pretend I was gonna be sleeping round her house and she had to talk to my parents and convince them anyway the man said it was appointment in London but it wasnt it ended up being in Hertfordshire. Somewhere Ive never been. I took a train to stevanage and met him in mc donalds. He made me walk several yards behind him on the way to his place. I just had to walk and follow. When we got to his place I found that he didnt even have a house or flat. It was just a fucking room and there other people in other rooms. Hes room was like a closet with a single and I thought oh god why did i agree to this. Then I said I was gonna get dressed so i went to the toilet and got changed. I also discovered that these people didnt use toilet paper, these was just a jug of water. Anyway I got changed and went back to his room and told him i needed a bath because i had been travelling for hours and also i had mud on my hands because I had to climb a hill on my way to his house and I tripped and he wouldnt let me out the room to be properly prepared. He just kept saying dont worry about it and persisted, I said no I need to go to the bathroom. He then said No dont worry about it and just grabbed me and started trying to take off my cllothes. I then said I wanted my payment first and again it was oh dont worry about. I then pushed him off me and said i want my payment and after about 20 mins of asking to be paid. He gave what I thought was 100 but it wasnt. It was 60 and i said this isnt what we agreed , he said he would would pay me 600 for the night. It went from that to 300 and then 100. And the annoying thing is I couldnt got back home and he knew that.I put myself in a really bad situation that i would never do again but anyway we had sex and after and hour he started asking for more and i said no you  paid me for the hour. After about 30 mins of his begging and trying to touch me up I just agreed because he blocked the door and stopped me from getting changed. He said he would pay me in the morning. After having sex with him again I was allowed to get changed. I went to the toilet and I just sat there and cried and cried. I just wanted to go home. I was stuck in a situation that I couldnt get out of and I was really underpaid. I went back to his room and sat on the floor. He said i could sleep in his bed (A single bed ) but I said no i want to sleep on the floor so there i was on the floor for hours just staring at the time to go home. In the mornin he said he would pay me at least 50 but of course he didnt he gave me 20 but whatever i just wanted to go home and see my family and friends. I walked out of his house. It was so cold and dark and the streets were bare, not even many cars, just silence and I couldnt remeber the way the train station but I found it in the end....

Never again will i do overnights and Im not seeing africans ever again...
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: Tsescortvikki on 30 November 2010, 12:42:06 pm
OMG honey that sounds like a nightmare, you must have been really scared and lonely. I am
so glad you are safe and sound now. Sending you a big hug x
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: xxFallen Angelxx on 30 November 2010, 01:04:19 pm
Honey, I'm sorry to say this but after reading your post I can't help but be really worried about you. Meeting someone in McD's, going hiking off to his house and no one knew where you were? I'm just going to be blunt with you. Don't do this, you are going to literally end up as a statistic.

Please just take what has happened as a learning experience and go and read the excellent advice on the home page of this site. Join the buddy system and for god's sake make safety calls. I know the money can be tempting but always try to suss the guy out on the phone and if you instincts tell you no to take the job don't.

This guy, in effect held you against your will and then virtually forced you to have sex with him. By rights you should go to the police and also post his details on the warnings page.

I do hope you are all right but you are just not doing the appropriate checks which in my experience is where things can go horribly wrong.
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: merrymary on 30 November 2010, 01:05:32 pm
^ ditto what tsescortvikki said.  huge virtual hugs coming your way browncandy, you poor thing.  you did really well in a horrible horrible situation and you survived.  hope you have something lovely happen to you very soon xxxx
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: xw5 on 30 November 2010, 01:11:05 pm
Argh, horrible indeed. I am very glad you're safe now.

One of the ways AW is a mixed blessing is because while it enables anyone to start working, it also makes it very easy to find vulnerable people to exploit. Abusers can have lists of potential victims - newly registered users fitting a search - automatically emailed to them.

You can avoid many such people, but it means not being a victim in more ways than one.

Someone called Micheal made an appointment with me overnight.

Lots of people will not even accept overnight bookings from people they have not already met. It's a long time to be with someone you, for whatever reason, do not get on with.

First of all to even make this appointment I had to lie a lot to my parents. I even had to get an escort friend to pretend I was gonna be sleeping round her house

Lying to parents and partners can sometimes be necessary, but someone has to know exactly where you are, who you are with, and what time to expect calls from you. One call is better than none, and two is better, including a "Hi, I'm with them, speak to you later as agreed" - they know someone knows and is looking out for you.

anyway the man said it was appointment in London but it wasnt it ended up being in Hertfordshire.

If they mess you around, think very very carefully about seeing them. See Emily's screening method..

I took a train to stevanage and met him in mc donalds.

If you chose to meet someone outside wherever the booking is going to happen, that is fine. (For one thing, in this case, they doubtless appear on someone's CCTV with you.) But you have to know - and have told someone else - where you are going to end up.

He made me walk several yards behind him on the way to his place. I just had to walk and follow.

Argh!!

I thought oh god why did i agree to this.

Next time you think this, walk out. Always, always, always listen to your gut. It's only money you're losing by walking, and it could end up being much more than that.

If you ever see the film Heat, the armed robber played by Robert De Niro talks about not having anything he could not walk away from if he had to. Same here: do not take anything on a booking you could not just abandon if, as here, you feel you need to get out.

I then said I wanted my payment first and again it was oh dont worry about. I then pushed him off me and said i want my payment and after about 20 mins of asking to be paid. He gave what I thought was 100 but it wasnt. It was 60 and i said this isnt what we agreed , he said he would would pay me 600 for the night. It went from that to 300 and then 100.

Hooray for sticking to the first rule: get the money first.

When they mess about or even dream of haggling, walk. Ideally with something to compensate for being messed about, but walk.

And the annoying thing is I couldnt got back home and he knew that.

This is a huge lesson: never ever get into that position, but if you do, never ever let them know.

It was you who mentioned going to see someone by bus and being met at the bus stop, wasn't it? If you cannot find someone to drive you and cannot pay for a minicab, you are not charging enough.

If you cannot get home without the co-operation of someone, you have to really trust that person and there is no client out there who can be trusted that much.

I am going to skip the next bit, but in your position, I'd feel I'd been raped and I would be looking for support about that.

Never again will i do overnights and Im not seeing africans ever again...

As your mother could no doubt tell you, shits come in all colours as well as all shapes and sizes.
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: strawberry on 30 November 2010, 01:20:26 pm
Always know where you are going to be going(exactly), and always have the ability to leave under you own steam. I've had guys think I'm going over the top by asking for their full name, BT landline/proof of residency, booking reference with their hotel. I know chaps are worried about giving their personal details but remember we are visiting a complete stranger, and need to let someone know where we are going - never mind know ourselves. Plus of course the client wants a relaxed time, if we are onguard because he's not given us security info then that's hardly conducive to a great time together.
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: EmilyJones on 30 November 2010, 01:39:31 pm
Browncandy, are you in London? If you can't get a safety buddy yet, please feel free to use me as one til you can find the right person if you have any more appointments coming up soon.

You could also feel free to run your appointment requests by me or any other mod here (or by everyone if you post publicly) if you want some second and third opinions on whether or not a potential client is a total timewaster/weirdo - we all have finely-tuned freak-detectors! :)

I obviously can't add much else to this thread as the advice here is already excellent, but I did want to say that I'm glad you're okay and I'm sorry you had such an awful experience. Please get in touch with myself or any other mod if you need to ask for anything privately - remember that this forum is open and you're sharing a lot of information about yourself (including your face picture). ((hugs))
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: lady69 on 30 November 2010, 01:59:18 pm
eeek!  That's really rough.

Brown  Candy sending hugs your way and glad to know you are okay luckily enough.

sorry to add salt to your wound but from my experience you went about this the wrong way.

A never agree to see a  guy for the first time for an overnight stay at least see them once or twice on say an hourly booking to get a feel of them before you go on an overnight with them.

B Always make sure their address, name and land line tally up before you visit them.

C Always make sure you have enough money on your person when you go outcalling to help you get a cab and escape in case of any trouble and make it a point to google for about 4 taxi cab numbers in the area you going to and have them handy just in case even to transport you to the nearest station etc.

D As Fallen angel said:
Meeting someone in McD's, going hiking off to his house and no one knew where you were? I'm just going to be blunt with you. Don't do this, you are going to literally end up as a statistic.

(Always make it a point to meet at their home/hotel only and make sure someone knows exactly where you are going)

E  And money upfront before anything else as its been discussed here many times because you are never going to get it after. (you should have left after his funny attitude about being reluctant to pay you upfront) (he lived with a bunch of other people in the building so you could have screamed or threatened to do so safety first!) ( I know you said you couldn't leave that night not sure how late it was or how far you  were from home unless the overnight started after 12am? may be a cab ride to the nearest bus station or something?)

Hope you don't take my two cents the wrong way. I am sure you will soon get back on the outcall wagon again with more experienced vetting procedures next time.

Its like me vowing never to have a boyfriend again after a nasty break up some years ago needless to say I did not keep my word.   :P

(fixed quote)
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: casey_kisses on 30 November 2010, 02:23:18 pm
There isn't much more to add in regards to giving advice, but just wanted to send some hugs and best wishes your way.

xx
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: River on 30 November 2010, 06:04:58 pm
Hugs.
Agreeing to sex as the person would not let you out otherwise---That is not agreement.
0808 802 9999 is a national rape helpline {12:00 to 14:00, & 19:00 to 21:00}
You may benefit from chatting with a trained counsellor.

Everything in your post has warning signs which should have made you walk away.

All these warning signs are escalating in severity.
I hope you walk away from any future appointment, if any similar indicators arise in the future.

I had a bad situation, a couple of time in my past.
Each time I just curled my arms round my body and said
"This is no longer consensual sex.  How do you think that will sound when read out in open court?"
In both instances, the person backed off, which let me leave.

I'm being cautious now as the following may upset you
which is not what you need right now
but it will keep you safe in the future

Options. Either:
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: River on 30 November 2010, 07:54:10 pm
Have you considered reporting this to the police
They have a section which handles sexual assault.

At least reporting him will create a record, and he may have done this previously
{a number of times to other vulnerable people}
You have his mobile number, & his address or at least approximate location.
The police may go have a chat with him, which would hopefully stop him in future. 


Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: xw5 on 30 November 2010, 08:39:00 pm
The two things that made me hesitate to suggest reporting it to the police were

a) You'd need to go to a station somewhere in Hertfordshire, because that's the area the problem happened in, and..

b) You'd need to make it absolutely clear that you do not want anyone calling you at home, whether at the door or on the home phone, in relation to this.

On the other hand, it's possible that someone else has complained about him and having another report on him will help him get what he deserves.
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: merrymary on 30 November 2010, 08:42:58 pm
You'd need to go to a station somewhere in Hertfordshire, because that's the area the problem happened in, and..

that's not true.  you would not have to go to a police station at all, and even if you choose to you would not need to go to one near where it happened.  what you need to do is call the rape crisis number that jodie ts has provided and get some actual facts, as well as support.
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: ParisB on 30 November 2010, 09:33:52 pm
first i would like to say big hugs and kisses  and i really hope you take some time out to get your head round what happend and really hope that you read and take the advice that every one is giving you on here right now  it may not be what you want to hear but its said with feelings  and your best interest from all of us

 Im truly  very sorry what happend to you and im sorry if i dont sound sympathetic  ( i really am belive me we all deal with the same shit and need to look out for each other cos no one else will  )
 And others on hear  may say im wrong to say this but i really have to as i feel so mad at the person who did this but also at you for not seeing /hearing /reading the warning signs that were so obvious please please please for your own safety and sanity take a break from this for a while  untill you get to grips with how to work safely on your own
    For fucks sake the guy could have been/ may have  been the next yorkshire ripper  or the ipswitch murder   
this may not be what you want to hear but  YOU  need to to make a choice  you either need to get out of this business or you  need to get yourself organised and sorted if you are going to stay in this business you have to start thinking of your safety  and think of your self 
  Otherwise the next thing we will all hear /read is that your body has been found in a ditch and you have been murdered and all your hopes of your parents /family not finding out will be way out the window 
sorry if it harsh but imo its the truth 


RED FLAGS 
Meeting at a mcdonnalds  WTF  CHEAPSKATE  ( HIM NOT YOU)  That initself would be a major no no in my book  the red flagg must have gone up straight away at this point   meeting in public places unless you have met before is something that i would be wary off   

Overnight Without meeting him first on previous appointments  is another big no no for the majorityu of escorts especially for outcalls 

 Accommodation with other people there  think gang rape  / planned attack  whatever   as soon as you realised this you should have walked straigt away 

  No Money Up Front   again  then leave if he cant pay before then he sure as hell wont pay afters hes cum  so   
Start screaming shouting whatever have no shame make as much noise as possible especially   if there are other peopel around 
Client attempting intercourse without your agreement  That's attempted rape
Blocking your exit refusing to let you leave.  that holding you against your will /imprisonment kidnapping 
Hun i wish i could see this guy right now cos i would take a pair of my sharpest jimmy choos and stick it up it as so far he wouldnt be walking for the next year  thats after i cut of his fucking dick and crushed his balls with two bricks  i am so fucking angry   
 

but  most important  ifyour gonna stay in this business and  stay safe first then you have to start thinking of the bigger picture  -
   have some boundaries  and rules and stick to them , dont deviate from them ever even if you lose money it not worth your life or mental health   be prepared to walk no matter what  you are the number 1 priority no one else

have some rules like  only doing outcalls in london /hotels only not private homes and only those that are in less than an hour by public transport

check where you are going first and how your going to get back if you cant get back at that time of night just turn it down     

 its when you get blinded by the cash that people fuck up and take bookings that under normal circumstances they woudnt do   
 
  Dont ever feel that you cant walk /leave a booking if it dont feel right cos if it dont feel right then it aint right 
 
Something  i apply to everthing in life  be it an appointment for work , buying a car or  going out for a meal   if its  not going smothly to start with then its only going to get worse  so walk away  Its my way or the fucking highway 
 as far as im concerned  and i dont give a shit my safety and mental health is far more important than a poxy 100 quid or 600 quid

You need to be  firmer  and assertive and confident  when working -   dont let anyone kiss you touch or fuck you without your money upfront and check it check it check it  to make sure its correct  dont feel embarrassed  its your money you have every right to check it   
I really hope you take some time off to rest up and think about what you want to do and i hope you feel better and stay strong  xxxxParis
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: Dani on 30 November 2010, 10:42:56 pm
I am sending you heartfelt hugs as this was a really terrible situation to be in.

I did read in the warnings section that you say he was rude on the phone. Rule 1. If they are rude on the phone they generally tend to be alot worse in real life so rude people should ALWAYS be refused a booking.

Please, please please never go to an outcall without a proper address.
Never allow an unknown client to meet you somewhere.
Always carry money for a taxi
Always let someone know where you are going and if you dont have a buddy just ask one of us to be your buddy till you find one.
If on arrival something does not seem right, get the hell out of there.
Scream, shout and do whatever needs to be done to get yourself out.
If they dont give all the money straight away dont get into bartering. Do NOT give them an hour or two as you have then consented to sex taking place.
The fact this guy was rude on the phone, expected you to meet him in Mcdonalds and then made you walk behind him should have had alarm bells ringing with great big flashing lights as well.

Please do not do any more outcalls until you get a little more informed on safe practices.
You probably think we are all having a go at you but I am sure, just like me everyone is very worried that you got yourself in this situation and that without help you may do so again or even worse.

Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: Carla on 01 December 2010, 12:45:45 am
You've got some great advice from ladies here browncandy, it will really help you in the future when doing outcalls if you learn the safest practices about doing outcall appointments. Please make sure you take it!  :-*

The most important thing right now though is that you are ok and that there is support out there if you need it. Haven's rape crisis centre might be a good place to go if you are feeling traumatised by the whole thing, you can find them here: http://www.thehavens.co.uk/index.php 

Big hugs xx
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: AmericanPie on 01 December 2010, 01:21:57 am
Wow...now if there is ever a time I shutup and not post, this would be it  ;)

On a serious note, all I can say is Brown Candy you seem to be making the same fatal flaws that I've done over the years. The good news is, it will make you that much stronger and smarter. Someone mentioned you taking a break...I disagree. The last thing you want is to take a break after your worst client. If you NEED to take a break, do it after you've met about 2 GOOD clients, which I PROMISE will happen. I'm a believer of ending ALL things on a good note. Otherwise, you'll always have a dark, dreary image of escorting that'll tarnish anyone you meet who does it. Only a fantastic, new, clean and HONESTLY WEALTHY client can mend the wounds.

And for the record, that could have been carried out from anyone. African, American, Hispanic, White...My worst client experiences and rip-offs have been from White men FYI. I'm saying that so the next time you meet someone who isn't African...you won't let your guard down, and be left looking stupid when they pull some crazy sh!t.

Don't see this as a failure. See it as a learning experience. Follow what you read on here by the letter. Don't allow clients to bend the rules.

And again, 100 for an overnight? Sweetheart, no! Thats attracting bad clients. I won't tell you what to price yourself, but please try and do some research on pricing for ladies in your area. At the very least, $500 and up for an overnight is going to immediately weed out guys like that who are potentially dangerous.

(http://74.50.124.205/image/8xVe-14g-2.jpg?height=640&scale=max&width=640)

 
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: Stephanies Secrets on 01 December 2010, 01:35:45 am
Have you thought about joining an agency while you find your feet, rather than working independently?

This is how I started, I didn't have much idea about the business so I decided to let someone else deal with that side while I got on with the one on one escorting. Of course you still have to keep your own financial records, and always have the taxi fare home and the number of a trusted friend for if anything goes wrong and the agency lets you down! An established agency will be experienced at weeding out the less desirables over the phone, and they should be there for backup if you find yourself in a difficult situation. You can always go independent again once you've got the hang of the business  :)

Agencies don't always have your best interests at heart, but they aren't all bad. I've been with some desperate money grabbing agencies, but I think even they would draw the line at a booking like you've had! Maybe some ladies in your area could recommend some decent ones to you?

Whatever you decide to do, take care - no one has the right to treat you badly, and your safety is worth more than any client is willing to pay!
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: AmericanPie on 01 December 2010, 01:41:37 am
He made me walk several yards behind him on the way to his place. I just had to walk and follow. Never again will i do overnights and Im not seeing africans ever again...

Another question:

Was this guy north African or Black African? The whole walking behind thing sounds like he came straight from the Middle East  :o
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: Ella T on 01 December 2010, 09:45:50 am


I really can't add to the wonderful advice you have been given, but wanted to send you a virtual hug anyway.

I would, however, be very tempted to hold the scum bag down while Paris did her worst.

Please never ignore your gut feelings, and know that you are worth so much more than what happened on Sunday.

Let us know how you are when you can. 
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: ParisB on 01 December 2010, 01:06:50 pm
trust me hun i would need no help to stick a very sharp heel up his cretin ass but you would be more than welcome to watch

   on a serious note while i did say orginally take a break untill you feel more able to cope both mentally and physically  and i still stand by that i also agree with american pie in that sometimes the best thing to do is to get back and work if only because it may restore your confidence in working and the longer you are off the harder it can be to get back working

but and it s bloody big but , only and i say only  go back  if you follow all the good and heartfelt advice that we have all given you 
and shitheads and assholes  come in all differents colours and ages  black white brown young and old and  business men and bob the builders 
but if you have a set way to work  and dont ever deviate from it no matter what its worth you will be a lot happier

 one thing that i stick to  if  a guy is supposed to be with me at 2pm and then at 2.15 he is calling me to say he  is here   and he hasnt informed me that he is going to be late  -  then i wont see him   you know why  - because he is taking control of the situation taking control away from me and thats a major no no
  i dont care if im painting my nails or watching judge judy  if he cant turn up on time and let me know he is late then i cant see him

some people would say im a control freak but you know what i would rather be a fucking control freak and be alive and safe and happy than dead in ditch  and after 10 years of working touch wood i havnt had a bad incident yet  however  i have probably avoided a whole lot of them though by sticking to  MY rules
   So take control of the situation from the get go dont be pushed around , its weak and men like that asshole prey on it as soon as you give an inch they will take a fucking mile     
the only time im  walking behind  a guy  i would have been fucking kicking him up his ass at the same time and getting paid for it
i hope you take on all of our advice cos  it really coming from escorts with experience and knowledge of years of working and how to deal with situations like the one you found yourself in   
you are very very lucky to be not badly injured or worse  and i really hope that you get over this in time and  decide what to do

   


I really can't add to the wonderful advice you have been given, but wanted to send you a virtual hug anyway.

I would, however, be very tempted to hold the scum bag down while Paris did her worst.

Please never ignore your gut feelings, and know that you are worth so much more than what happened on Sunday.

Let us know how you are when you can. 

Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: FleurDeLaMer on 01 December 2010, 01:18:39 pm
Hi Brown Candy

Well done for getting through it & talking about it here. I can't add any thing as you have already been given superb advice here. This is a tough industry & you have to stay tough! The only thing I can think off is it might be a good idea to sit & structure an appointment routine & safety check procedure & stick to it! I have mine on my website, so clients know how to book me & what information they will need in order to book me. If they don't give it, or it doesn't add up, they are blacklisted with no contact from me !

Good luck honey & remeber come here & get advice first if you are unsure about some thing :)

xx
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: Bella Tey on 01 December 2010, 02:24:46 pm
Think everyone already echoed most of my thoughts.  Brown Candy you sound very young by what you write.  I must admit when I was probably your age, I did quite a few very foolish and potentially very dangerous things, going off with almost complete strangers to parties gawd knows where.  I must have had an army of guardian angels doing non-stop overtime as luckily nothing happened to me.  So I am in no position to judge!  However I was not working in this industry where a lot of potential dangers are multiplied as you get some really nasty predatory guys targeting young WGs. 

First of all, I am so relieved that you came out of this alive although harmed.  This needs to be your wake-up call.  Maybe you need to assess your profile and how you describe yourself.  Does it read like you are inexperienced and perhaps easy to manipulate?  Reading a couple of other posts about people haggling down your fees makes me wonder whether you attract a certain type by how you worded your ad.  Can you get someone to proof read and give you feedback?  I think sometimes we don?t realise by how certain wording can send subconscious signals. 

If you are outcall only, you really need to get into a routine of security checks of knowing exactly where you will be going and who you are seeing and need to have vital info like the full real name, complete address and postcode and if applicable for a private address a landline.  Check for a start that the address actually exists on maybe Street map.  Always have enough money to get back without any fee in case the booking is bogus or the guy seems dodgy.  Some escorts seem to only bring enough to get there and rely on the client?s money to travel back.  That makes you very vulnerable.  I also often use the Google street view facility just to see what the area and actually street is like.  None of that makes me completely safe but it increases the odds in my favour.    Please get yourself a buddy x                   
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: Bella Tey on 01 December 2010, 02:32:19 pm
He made me walk several yards behind him on the way to his place. I just had to walk and follow. Never again will i do overnights and Im not seeing africans ever again...

Another question:

Was this guy north African or Black African? The whole walking behind thing sounds like he came straight from the Middle East  :o

Please AP don?t go down the route of sweeping generalisations about ethnic background.  That does not help and is not relevant.  The overall creepy and bad behaviour could be attributed to every race and the safety advice is universally applicable.   
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: AmericanPie on 01 December 2010, 05:04:41 pm
Please AP don?t go down the route of sweeping generalisations about ethnic background.  That does not help and is not relevant.  The overall creepy and bad behaviour could be attributed to every race and the safety advice is universally applicable.   

You're pretty much re-iterating what I just said about her not letting her guard down when she meets someone who isn't African. I was asking the above question to try and get an idea of where this person was from....
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: Bella Tey on 01 December 2010, 06:06:34 pm
Please AP don?t go down the route of sweeping generalisations about ethnic background.  That does not help and is not relevant.  The overall creepy and bad behaviour could be attributed to every race and the safety advice is universally applicable.   

You're pretty much re-iterating what I just said about her not letting her guard down when she meets someone who isn't African. I was asking the above question to try and get an idea of where this person was from....


And I am saying once more it should not matter where this guy was from. It does not help this thread or Brown Candy. The same kind of safety advice should apply to all clients.  Speculative ethnic profiling only serves to sideline really important basic safety considerations.   
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: amy on 01 December 2010, 06:13:36 pm
Joey was referring to cultural practices, not ethnic origin when he mentioned the 'walking behind' practice. It may have been clumsy and heading off topic, but it was not racist.

Bella, please stop trying to find offence where there isn't any, and please also remember that you are not a moderator on this forum and until you are formally appointed as such, you will not be telling other members how to post.

Back on topic, please.
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: Bella Tey on 01 December 2010, 06:33:01 pm
Joey was referring to cultural practices, not ethnic origin when he mentioned the 'walking behind' practice. It may have been clumsy and heading off topic, but it was not racist.

Bella, please stop trying to find offence where there isn't any, and please also remember that you are not a moderator on this forum and until you are formally appointed as such, you will not be telling other members how to post.

Back on topic, please.

I get your point Amy.  But I was appealing to a fellow member not to get sidetracked about cultural or ethnical clich?s so we could focus on supporting Brown Candy and stay on topic.  I did not see this as getting any ideas above my station.  Surely any public forum should be about members trying to have some respect for different cultures and not about type casting.  Discussing the difference between different African regions is about ethical origin.   So please do not second guess me whether I am offended or not.  Perhaps you could PM me if you have concerns rather than trying to publicly humiliate me?     
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: Sleeping Admin on 01 December 2010, 07:33:55 pm

I get your point Amy.  But I was appealing to a fellow member not to get sidetracked about cultural or ethnical clich?s so we could focus on supporting Brown Candy and stay on topic.  I did not see this as getting any ideas above my station.  Surely any public forum should be about members trying to have some respect for different cultures and not about type casting.  Discussing the difference between different African regions is about ethical origin.   So please do not second guess me whether I am offended or not.  Perhaps you could PM me if you have concerns rather than trying to publicly humiliate me?     

Amy's job is to moderate the forum and its members in any way she sees fit. It's what she was appointed for and she does a stellar job.
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: exotic princess on 01 December 2010, 10:45:20 pm
Sweetie,  You poor thing. :-( And it was all going so well...call me, i tried to call you just now, your phone is off. xx
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: AmericanPie on 01 December 2010, 11:22:28 pm
And it was all going so well...

I was hoping I wouldn't get shunned, but thats why I was telling her to just go ahead and see another client. Because just last month  she was saying how she thought she was the only one who enjoyed her job...and then just yesterday its the worst day of her life.

Replacing bad with good is the best thing to do.

Discussing the difference between different African regions is about ethical origin.   So please do not second guess me whether I am offended or not.  Perhaps you could PM me if you have concerns rather than trying to publicly humiliate me?    

ooooo, sounds like someone just got told?

I was simply asking a question out of curiousity. As soon as Brown Candy answered, I would have just been like, "ah okay...interesting" I would not have carried on saying, "yeah, stay away from Egyptions...they make horrible clients. The ones from Somalia aren't that much better either."

By the way....I met men from Tel Aviv in Egypt, they love Black people  ;D
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: amy on 01 December 2010, 11:38:01 pm
ooooo, sounds like someone just got told?


Joey, quit it, I mean it - gloating is just as unpleasant as whining.

The pair of you are as bad as each other and if you won't stop poking each other with sticks you are both getting a warning, since Bella apparently cannot comply with an instruction to get back on topic without trying for the last word either. This is not your thread, it is browncandy's, and where her assailant is originally from is completely insignificant compared with where he is now, and who he might be doing the same thing to today or tomorrow. Show the OP some respect.

Take it to PM, please. Any more bickering, xenophobia or ridiculous generalisations will be deleted.
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: browncandy on 02 December 2010, 01:25:12 am
Hey guys. Thank you so much for your support and virtual kisses x
I forgot to say I did ask for this guys address and I did check the address on tfl and google and it showed me somewhere in south London which was strange. There was other things I should have taken in to consideration but I was so side tracked because i was thinking to much about the money I thought I was gonna earn. Lol. I'm deffo gonna up my game and be very upfront and not accept bullshit. I'm quite a gentle person and people can tell that why they take advantage. I badly wanna start doing incalls and such because outcalls are shit and I'm sick of traveling but I need to keep doing them so I can get enough for a deposit. Right now I'm on a break from escorting because I cut my leg, the whether is terrible ( I'm not treking through snow lol) I got my Tongue peirced  and it needs to heal. The day after the incident I had a great day out with a friend in westfeild and I was back to my happy self in no time hehe.   
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: AmericanPie on 02 December 2010, 06:00:14 am
Right now I'm on a break from escorting because I cut my leg, the whether is terrible ( I'm not treking through snow lol) I got my Tongue peirced  and it needs to heal. The day after the incident I had a great day out with a friend in westfeild and I was back to my happy self in no time hehe.   

Well great. We're not rushing you to get back in, just take your time...
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: KatieKurves on 13 December 2010, 08:41:40 pm
I would like to re-iterate everyones' advice & send you virtual hugs & kisses.

Have you got a male friend whom you could confide in & ask him to be your driver & give him some petrol money also something for his time. If clients know you have a driver they tend not to try things on. Your driver knows where he dropped you, you phone him (or it cud be a her!!) when you're in the premises & phone to let them know things are going ok & then to let them know you're ready to be picked up. Your driver will have every right to start knocking on the door if you're not out within 10 mins of your alloted pick up time or not answering your phone!!

Ive had some lovely meets with clients but also some dodgy ones. I'm afraid it goes with the territory.

Good luck babe hope you start feeling more confidant soon.
 
Take care.

Luv Kate xx
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: A R on 19 January 2012, 03:27:52 pm
This absolutely sucks.

I'm so sorry for what you had to go through. This guy is a class a CUNT and a criminal!!! I'm glad I always check this site before I do outcalls as he has been trying to book me over the last weeks but have been contemplating because I've had a lot of TW try and book me lately.

I've added to your warning thread so hopefully no other ladies have to go through what you did.

xxxxx
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: KinkyVixen on 21 January 2012, 05:30:25 pm
Sorry to hear about this horrific booking . Very good advice from the other ladies here.

I can sympathise with you as when i first started escorting i did something similar ... I went on an overnight with a brand new client . Didnt have any "emergency" money on me for taxi home, in fact i didnt have a penny as id spent my last ?5 on a train ticket to meet him in Leeds station. He had told me we would be staying at a hotel in Leeds centre , it ended up been at a country hotel in the middle of nowhere. He wouldn't pay me upfront ( Told me that professional escorts and agency girls never ask for money until the morning - yeah right !) so obviously i didn't want to move on to sex until i had the money.

I was worried and stressed by this time and i drunk nearly 2 bottles of wine to calm my nerves ( another mistake)  ....Made every mistake in the book with this client

The hotel was so remote i had no mob phone signal and he would not let me use the room phone as "he didn't want the the staff knowing he had an escort in there" , so i couldn't let BF at home know i was stuck miles away.

I did end up having sex with him and he was very hard work and demanding . To add insult to injury he left me a very bad field report ! I eventually got some payment off him , but nowhere near the fee we had agreed on.


Anyway , this isnt about me...... Im not intending to hijack your thread ...Just  to let you know your not the first or the last whos been stuck in a situation where you just want the hell out .  So i know how you feel .


Because of this i wont do an overnight now , unless its with someone Ive previously met and even then its got to be a hotel. Never houses......You just don't know what your walking into

If your new to escorting the best thing you can do is share an incall place with another girl , safety and company and only do outcalls to hotels !! No overnights , there very hit and miss at the best of times.

And as for the "african " aspect , some of these guys who have not been in the UK long are not used to our ways of life. Some of these guys come from very male dominated cultures and treat women in a very different way to how we are used to been treated. Usually a religion/ culture or a mixture of the 2 dictates that women are 2nd class citizens. People get very worked up and PC when i make these statements but its the truth.  Personally i'm wary of people with foreign accents as in my experience these are going to be people make for difficult clients. This is not  a race thing as the same goes for EE's who are white !! A lot of these guys try it on and use the language barrier as an excuse for acting out " Me not understand " ......they reckon not to understand "NO" , or your "Dos n Donts" ....Just be wary is all i'm saying.
Title: Re: The worst Night of my Life...
Post by: KinkyVixen on 21 January 2012, 05:39:58 pm
Hey guys. Thank you so much for your support and virtual kisses x
I forgot to say I did ask for this guys address and I did check the address on tfl and google and it showed me somewhere in south London which was strange. There was other things I should have taken in to consideration but I was so side tracked because i was thinking to much about the money I thought I was gonna earn. Lol. I'm deffo gonna up my game and be very upfront and not accept bullshit.  I badly wanna start doing incalls

I was guilty of the same , been blinded by a large amount of money . :) ..... Very easy done when your skint.

A tip for you , you can book "Serviced Apartments" . As easy as booking a hotel and if you do your research you can get some good bargains on the hotel discount sites. I don't know the prices in London. Prob a lot more than they cost here "OOp North " . EG = Leeds , you can get a luxury 2 bed serviced app for ?50 a day . Share with a WG mate , ?25 a day each , bargain.

The other bonus is there in good areas with good safe parking , and decent clients worry about these things. Big up the fact your in a nice luxury pad , good area , parking , near to all motorway networks , bla blah on your profile , and you should be able to earn a Bond/Advance rent in no time at all.

Another bonus is these apparts "sometimes " come with a welcome basket of food n drink ! Champers the lot ....Much cheaper and more discreet than a hotel. Its maybe worth trying for a few days and if you get enough bookings you can get a discount if you hire for a week at a time.

Enjoy your break and good luck for the future. :)