Must not politely remind me to pay her when I 'forget' that she is indeed a prossy and not actually there for her own pleasure.

So true!

So so true

Must give me a discount and special treatment because I am a regular and I am absolutely nothing like any of her other clients.
Actually, forget the discount, I know that she enjoys it just as much as i do and there's a pretty good chance that she will marry me and have my baby and she does not vomit a little bit every time i bring that up.

-She must not have a past, only a "present".

-She musn't rant about any "life stresses". As far as I'm concerned she's been sitting on another planet in her sexy undies all her life waiting for this appointment  to happen.

-She knows all the kamasutra positions by memory and is a total vixen in bed but she's a virgin  (Ok. maybe slept with a couple guys).

- She charges me for her time but deep down inside her she wants to date me. I should just ask her out and start getting it for free.

- She charges me for sex but I KNOW FOR A FACT she loves having sex with me and thinks I'm a total  stud.

- She's sitting  in her lace panties all day waiting for a guy to marry her and get her out of  her prossie life.

be clever for some, dumb for others...

I once had a client who would always talk down to me and pat me on the head literally! His name was Leo and he used to refer to himself in the third person i.e "Leo is a very popular guy" or "Leo likes women in fur. Leo is going to buy you a fur coat". I would reply "Leo is so generous" and he'd smile.

He took me to the opera and said "Have you ever listened to classical music? You'll probably fall asleep". Then he fell asleep and snored loudly throughout. I was soooo embarassed and everyone was glaring at me as if it was my fault!

I gave lovely leo the flick eventually, it was great regular money but I couldn't take it anymore!!

Absolute WORST is when, they ask "So how many men you slept with,not alot look at you, your gorgeous?" with a "im trying to be sexy, but looking oh so pervy" face.
I mean, do you expect me to actually give you the real answer?
I say, a few..i dont often sleep with men in here, unless i like them.  
They act all happy like they've cummed in their pants. (I wish they fucking would)


So dumb these man..

44HH and size 8

makes perfect sense dude, she would have to be a mutant fat from the waist up