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Author Topic: The Perfect Escort  (Read 7384 times)

ParisB

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The Perfect Escort
« on: 25 October 2011, 11:58:44 pm »
i took this from punternet a while back and added a bit of my own but feel free to add your own coments  ladies

The Perfect Working Girl 

◦Must provide good VFM (ie under ?50)
◦Must not be taller than me in her heels
◦Must bring interchanging wig colours
◦Skin tone not too pale nor faked-up to the nines
◦Not too young, but not too mature, about 27/28 should do
◦Size 8, 44HH breasts  ( not fake)
◦Must provide additional lady at the appointment for no extra charge
◦Must provide 20 minute outcall to my work place
◦Must be comfortable with bonking in public places like Sainsbury?s car park on a Saturday
◦Must be comfortable with Anal, OWO, Facials, Water and Hardsports, must also be submissive, dominant and able to provide both GFE and PSE
◦Must travel within a 300 mile radius at short notice
◦Must bring discrete bag with various costumes and outfits in
◦Must allow a one hour window after the appointment for me to ?wind-down?
◦Must be available 24 Hours
◦Must appear charming and non-argumentative with neutral views on punting forums
◦Must bring biccies and beer
◦Website pictures must be taken that morning and not enhanced
◦ID showing DOB to be shown on arrival
◦Articulate, but not too clever
◦Athletic enough to provide me with 4+ orgasms in one hour
◦Classy in the restaurant and a slut in the bedroom
◦To provide super-sized condoms to feed my ego despite them being a bit of a baggy fit (OOOOH! WOUNDED!)
◦Must have incall locations across the UK and the ability to teleport
◦One blue eye and one brown eye (no anal jokes please, boys)
◦Must bring packed lunch and beverages to outcall appointments
and finally ?.

◦Must only see one client a day maximum but be able to fit me in at short notice as I am circling the ring road

midlands lady

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Re: The Perfect Escort
« Reply #1 on: 26 October 2011, 06:21:25 am »
HAHAHAHA that's brilliant! So true x

ladyjennaj

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Re: The Perfect Escort
« Reply #2 on: 26 October 2011, 09:33:45 am »
Very funny!  ;D

NEWGIRL

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Re: The Perfect Escort
« Reply #3 on: 26 October 2011, 11:47:39 am »
i took this from punternet a while back and added a bit of my own but feel free to add your own coments  ladies

The Perfect Working Girl 

◦Must provide good VFM (ie under ?50)
◦Must not be taller than me in her heels
◦Must bring interchanging wig colours
◦Skin tone not too pale nor faked-up to the nines
◦Not too young, but not too mature, about 27/28 should do
◦Size 8, 44HH breasts  ( not fake)
◦Must provide additional lady at the appointment for no extra charge
◦Must provide 20 minute outcall to my work place
◦Must be comfortable with bonking in public places like Sainsbury?s car park on a Saturday
◦Must be comfortable with Anal, OWO, Facials, Water and Hardsports, must also be submissive, dominant and able to provide both GFE and PSE
◦Must travel within a 300 mile radius at short notice
◦Must bring discrete bag with various costumes and outfits in
◦Must allow a one hour window after the appointment for me to ?wind-down?
◦Must be available 24 Hours
◦Must appear charming and non-argumentative with neutral views on punting forums
◦Must bring biccies and beer
◦Website pictures must be taken that morning and not enhanced
◦ID showing DOB to be shown on arrival
◦Articulate, but not too clever
◦Athletic enough to provide me with 4+ orgasms in one hour
◦Classy in the restaurant and a slut in the bedroom
◦To provide super-sized condoms to feed my ego despite them being a bit of a baggy fit (OOOOH! WOUNDED!)
◦Must have incall locations across the UK and the ability to teleport
◦One blue eye and one brown eye (no anal jokes please, boys)
◦Must bring packed lunch and beverages to outcall appointments
and finally ?.

◦Must only see one client a day maximum but be able to fit me in at short notice as I am circling the ring road

**MUST BE WILLING TO TAKE A TIME OUT SO I CAN WATCH ARSENAL SCORE A GOAL, AND START THE CLOCK AGAIN WHEN I AM DONE SCREAMING AT THE TELLY**

Yes, I have had this happen...

Dior1

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Re: The Perfect Escort
« Reply #4 on: 28 October 2011, 06:30:34 pm »
Well you've just described me to a tee.......! ;)

ladyjennaj

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Re: The Perfect Escort
« Reply #5 on: 28 October 2011, 06:55:44 pm »
I especially like the one about having outfits with them all the time. I turn up for outcalls and clients ask 'do you have a nurse's outfit?' ummm...not with me, no?  :-\ I think they assume I carry a small wardrobe around in my handbag...

Simone

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Re: The Perfect Escort
« Reply #6 on: 28 October 2011, 09:26:05 pm »
'Website pictures must be taken that morning and not enhanced'

 ;D ;D

kimba

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Re: The Perfect Escort
« Reply #7 on: 29 October 2011, 08:57:05 am »
..She must listen intently to my bitter ramblings about my Ex wife and agree implicitly that she is evil and undeserving of my God-like self..

She should stroke my ego at every chance - and convince me that whilst she does see some trolls from time to time ( my words not hers ) I am the stunning exception to this rule and she looks forward to my call and would see me for free if she could ( again, my thoughts not hers..)

She must never mind when I answer my phone whilst she is riding me ( this has honestly happened to me-he even replied by text as I was astride-single man, no ties, not at work.. ::) )

She must think on her feet and react quickly when faced with the conundrum of small willy plus beer belly.
There are a multitude of positions to choose from-even with 8"heels and a loose headboard..

She must shudder convincingly throughout Orgasm - not too loud to wake the neighbours-but just enough to reassure me  :-*

kimba

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Re: The Perfect Escort
« Reply #8 on: 29 October 2011, 09:12:21 am »
..She must remember me the instant she hears my voice on the phone and I announce myself as "Frank from Liverpool". Of course I stand out from all the other Franks' in that city!! 5'4" in my workshoes, middle-aged, slightly balding with a tache, office worker!!..She must remember every little nuance of our 2 hour booking ( and never let on that she keeps a work diary with all this stuff recorded and would not know me again if she fell over me..)  ;)

Mellow

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Re: The Perfect Escort
« Reply #9 on: 29 October 2011, 10:14:00 am »
She must be turned on instantly by their superb (read clumsy efforts at) foreplay.

River

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Re: The Perfect Escort
« Reply #10 on: 30 October 2011, 12:58:09 am »
The perfect escort is the lady who, when I call her from my new phone number,
and say "Hi it's me. Do you remember I visited you a while back"
she should:
Recognise both my voice  and remember my name.
She will also recall the fullest details of whatever little thing was going on in my life,
when I met her once,
two years ago,
for a half hour shag.  
(The one where I had trouble getting 'hard' for most of the session)
« Last Edit: 30 October 2011, 01:03:28 am by JodieTs »

natasha

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Re: The Perfect Escort
« Reply #11 on: 30 October 2011, 02:56:59 am »
Jodie, Of Course we remember!
We have a prossy sixth sense!
 My particular fave was during a whole entire half hour appt in which I was required to perform every sexual trick within my capabilities, then he asked what else can you do :-X
I wish I had the confidence back then to bark like a seal, whilst clapping my hands (flippers) waiting eagerly for a fish to be thrown in my general direction.
Let go of my ears! I know what I'm doing!

pandora

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Re: The Perfect Escort
« Reply #12 on: 30 October 2011, 07:01:16 am »
Jodie, Of Course we remember!
We have a prossy sixth sense!
 My particular fave was during a whole entire half hour appt in which I was required to perform every sexual trick within my capabilities, then he asked what else can you do :-X
I wish I had the confidence back then to bark like a seal, whilst clapping my hands (flippers) waiting eagerly for a fish to be thrown in my general direction.


"Show me what you can do", there are increasingly more and more of these.  Well I can do international tax,  ride a horse, have a bronze medallion in life saving, drive a lorry, as well as bake cakes, abseil..... Where shall we start? Do we have time for all these activities in our hour?

I forget - we must never make jokes at their expense and never talk back.

Cat

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Re: The Perfect Escort
« Reply #13 on: 30 October 2011, 09:14:39 am »
i took this from punternet a while back and added a bit of my own but feel free to add your own coments  ladies

The Perfect Working Girl 

◦Must provide good VFM (ie under ?50)
◦Must not be taller than me in her heels
◦Must bring interchanging wig colours
◦Skin tone not too pale nor faked-up to the nines
◦Not too young, but not too mature, about 27/28 should do
◦Size 8, 44HH breasts  ( not fake)
◦Must provide additional lady at the appointment for no extra charge
◦Must provide 20 minute outcall to my work place
◦Must be comfortable with bonking in public places like Sainsbury?s car park on a Saturday
◦Must be comfortable with Anal, OWO, Facials, Water and Hardsports, must also be submissive, dominant and able to provide both GFE and PSE
◦Must travel within a 300 mile radius at short notice
◦Must bring discrete bag with various costumes and outfits in
◦Must allow a one hour window after the appointment for me to ?wind-down?
◦Must be available 24 Hours
◦Must appear charming and non-argumentative with neutral views on punting forums
◦Must bring biccies and beer
◦Website pictures must be taken that morning and not enhanced
◦ID showing DOB to be shown on arrival
◦Articulate, but not too clever
◦Athletic enough to provide me with 4+ orgasms in one hour
◦Classy in the restaurant and a slut in the bedroom
◦To provide super-sized condoms to feed my ego despite them being a bit of a baggy fit (OOOOH! WOUNDED!)
◦Must have incall locations across the UK and the ability to teleport
◦One blue eye and one brown eye (no anal jokes please, boys)
◦Must bring packed lunch and beverages to outcall appointments
and finally ?.

◦Must only see one client a day maximum but be able to fit me in at short notice as I am circling the ring road

Sounds like a stepford wife to me lol
Your a young mans fool and old mans darlin x

JennyJazz87

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Re: The Perfect Escort
« Reply #14 on: 02 November 2011, 02:35:56 pm »
Quote
Articulate, but not too clever

Quote
◦Must be comfortable with bonking in public places like Sainsbury?s car park on a Saturday

 :D :D

"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur!" - George W. Bush