I can't help noticing that there were mainly male or TS escorts saying "no refund". I totally agree with that. I also envy your confidence and upper body strengh. Unfortunately as a born female I get scared of men. Fear plays tricks on us, it makes us forget that as escorts we're not just selling time.   Some guy have just touched, caressed, kissed and fondled one of us, after not showering properly (in itself a boundary violation), and then pushes drugs, OWO, whatever - while many ladies here still believe he deserves a refund?          

I'm not much better muself (although I try to bring my inner b1tch out). I think as born women we have been conditioned to "not provoke violence in men". We are also being conditioned by certain punting sites that what we're selling is "just sex" simply broken down into different time slots.  Erm, no actually,  we invite a stranger to touch us sexually and to enter our bodies - all at our discretion, terms and conditions. If the punter then chooses to behave like a disrespectful knob then he has violated our terms and conditions - and thus does NOT deserve any refunds.

And I bet there are quite a few arseholes who capitalize on the fact that if only they behave repulsively enough, then they get to fondle + more, for very little money.  

Sure, it's not easy to remove a big bloke off your premises. But let's not justify his actions by advicing other escorts to give him refunds. As IMO it's only a sign that we're loosing sight of healthy boundaries.

I think you're right about the gender differences, but it does work both ways.

The 'I'll be ok no matter what' attitude means a large number of male escorts do none of the safety stuff that you'd consider essential: not checking out addresses before going, not letting someone else know where you are and who you're with, not getting the money first, etc etc etc.

Sometimes, this bites them. Male overconfidence was the reason several serial cheque bouncers got away with it for so long: they could book a stream of men - not newcomers to the work either - who'd do overnights and only ask for the money in the morning. Faced at that point with a story about not having the cash, they took the (worthless) cheque.

I can't help noticing that there were mainly male or TS escorts saying "no refund". Sure, it's not easy to remove a big bloke off your premises. But let's not justify his actions by advicing other escorts to give him refunds. As IMO it's only a sign that we're loosing sight of healthy boundaries.

Not to mention, most of the sites we advertise on dont give refunds either 

Sure, it's not easy to remove a big bloke off your premises. But let's not justify his actions by advicing other escorts to give him refunds. As IMO it's only a sign that we're loosing sight of healthy boundaries.

Also, I wish I could agree here but I don't think anyone can in good conscience tell another woman how to deal with the awful situation of an unpleasant, hostile, often "large" (fat, and/or tall, and/or muscled) man who knows full well you and he are alone in a private location together and has already indicated that he does not believe he needs to respect your boundaries. It's like getting mugged: The best advice is to give the attacker your belongings and just try to stay alive.

I wish I could stand up and say, "Never give belligerent, stinky, rude clients their money back!!" but actually, all we can say is, "Please do not antagonise an already-hostile man when you are alone with him. Put your health and safety before any amount of money." It is not an individual sex worker's job to change deep-set societal attitudes towards us; that sort of change must come from people who are safely sitting in nice public rooms having sensible discussions with other sensible people.

Making sure you have a security buddy who knows where you are and who you're with when you're working is essential, though. Prevention (of difficult situations) is still better than dealing with the aftermath! Also, feel free to incorporate my trademark Evil Emily Method Of Screening: Say no if in any doubt at all about a potential client's state of mind! Don't worry about offending them, they're not the ones with the huge risks to weigh up every day!

all we can say is, "Please do not antagonise an already-hostile man when you are alone with him. Put your health and safety before any amount of money."

Most of me agrees with all you say. But, being male, part of me goes '.. but one of the reasons they behave like this is that they think they can get away with it! Please let do something when you feel you're safe, even as simple as reporting him to make it harder for him to get another booking.'

As a person, I like to think that I am lovely. When I am cycling, I am not. That's because a substantial section of drivers think that they can get away with murder (literally) with cyclists and they need to be taught that there are consequences when they behave badly to cyclists.

Of course, this did not stop me handing over the goodies the one time I was mugged...

.. and much of most good self-defence classes is teaching you how to minimise the chances of getting into the situation in the first place, a bit like Evil Emily's Method Of Screening.

Most of me agrees with all you say. But, being male, part of me goes '.. but one of the reasons they behave like this is that they think they can get away with it!

Hell yeah!

If a guy senses you're timid and afraid, he's going to to think he can overpower you. I've made that mistake more than enough times. Nowadays...most clients dont even try me with no ridiculous nonsense like that.

But, neverthelesss...Im not trying to sound like some hardcore macho, because there's always someone bigger and stronger out there. But..still, stand your ground and be ready and willing to kick ass on a moment's notice.

Ugggh.. gives me the shivers just thinking about it.

If they're not clean, they wont be seen, schimples!!

I'm way too scornful to go ahead with a booking, plus if I'm disgusted, no matter how nice I try to be my face is one that doesn't hide how I'm feeling LOL.

Sorry, but if they stink, crap on my sheets (which ironically I'd tell them to take with them) I'm not seeing them, they can be on their way, infact I'd go as far as logging on to P-net or AW and letting them book someone else using my PC.

No amount of money is worth that to me.. uh uh *shakes head n dismay*