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Author Topic: The most despicable thing you've done to a good client?  (Read 11918 times)

Hadley

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Re: The most despicable thing you've done to a good client?
« Reply #15 on: 22 February 2014, 03:29:44 pm »
That dog shampoo thing's really funny!!

I haven't done anything intentionally despicable, but I am the world's clumsiest girl and the number of drinks I have accidentally kicked over cream carpets and white bedspreads is pretty high. It's got to the stage where I only drink white wine with clients as letting me loose on a glass of red is just too risky x
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amy

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Re: The most despicable thing you've done to a good client?
« Reply #16 on: 22 February 2014, 03:43:24 pm »
That almost feels like karmic retribution for all the ones who've gone in the bathroom and washed their knob with my Clinique :(.

I didn't do it, but I once toyed with shoving a tuna fish sandwich that I had in my bag down the back of the radiator before I left a particularly unpleasant outcall (nothing horrific, just textbook arsehole). The room was really overheated which is bad enough anyway, but even without the help I reckon that would've stank pretty bad. I didn't bother in the end, mostly because I wanted to eat the sandwich :).

KinkyVixen

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Re: The most despicable thing you've done to a good client?
« Reply #17 on: 22 February 2014, 04:11:56 pm »
That's not despicable :D I mean, it's not like you outed him to his wife, or anything ;D


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Grumpy Cow

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Re: The most despicable thing you've done to a good client?
« Reply #18 on: 22 February 2014, 04:15:47 pm »
Not intentionally at all but I once left my dog's shampoo in the bathroom.  When the client returned from showering I noticed the scent although very pleasant was different from the stuff I put there for clients.  I then spent the next hour trying to avoid giggling or saying stuff like 'Who's a good boy then..?!?' or commenting on his thick glossy mane...   ;D   

LOL!! I have a vision of you going the whole hog and offering him a worming tablet if he asked for a viagra!!

Hahahaha I didn't think of that.  But he reminded me a little of an overeager Terrier when he snuffled away at my nether regions.  But the hair really was very soft and shiny...   ;D

MaddieMoo

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Re: The most despicable thing you've done to a good client?
« Reply #19 on: 22 February 2014, 06:47:21 pm »
Not intentionally at all but I once left my dog's shampoo in the bathroom.  When the client returned from showering I noticed the scent although very pleasant was different from the stuff I put there for clients.  I then spent the next hour trying to avoid giggling or saying stuff like 'Who's a good boy then..?!?' or commenting on his thick glossy mane...   ;D   

That had me in stitches!!

That dog shampoo thing's really funny!!

I haven't done anything intentionally despicable, but I am the world's clumsiest girl and the number of drinks I have accidentally kicked over cream carpets and white bedspreads is pretty high. It's got to the stage where I only drink white wine with clients as letting me loose on a glass of red is just too risky x

I've had SO many near misses, and once let a few drops of red spill onto a hotel duvet that I've started the same - no red wine, I am way too clumsy at exactly the worst moment.
I like my men clean, gentlemanly and with envelopes...

Amethyst

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Re: The most despicable thing you've done to a good client?
« Reply #20 on: 23 February 2014, 02:27:55 pm »
I did once knee a client in the face doing 69, it wasn't very hard and I'm always so careful when manoeuvring but I think I just lost balance. I'm waiting for the day when I accidently squish someone's balls, has never happened but it's at the back of my mind.

happyhappyjoyjoy

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Re: The most despicable thing you've done to a good client?
« Reply #21 on: 23 February 2014, 02:32:27 pm »
I stood my stilletto heel right into someone bare foot. I was mortified!

ScarletWoman

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Re: The most despicable thing you've done to a good client?
« Reply #22 on: 25 February 2014, 12:49:23 am »
On an outcall I sat on the sofa (in stockings) and as I was talking felt something small and sharp digging in my leg, I absent mindedly pulled it out of the sofa, thinking it was a splinter. It was a tiny feather from the stuffing. But he looked at me, mouth open like I'd just committed some atrocity, jumped up and grabbed the feather and made a big scene of putting it on the table. It was all downhill from there. I never heard from him again so he hasn't forgiven me. I'll live.

Another time I grabbed the lube, instead of the 2 in 1 lube/massage gel, and poured it over a client's back during a massage. It made a mess. An awful mess.
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ladyofthemansion

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Re: The most despicable thing you've done to a good client?
« Reply #23 on: 25 February 2014, 12:57:52 am »
Went to an early morning outcall. Forgot I had shoved a glycerin suppository up my arse due to constipation. As the service came to a climax I had to rush to his beautiful ensuite. I really stunk the place out. So embarrassed.
I'm glad I got all the Cynthia Payne books before the prices rocked to sky high.

Green Carnation

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Re: The most despicable thing you've done to a good client?
« Reply #24 on: 25 February 2014, 10:30:54 am »
I stole a soap bar from his hotel room  :-[ i just loved the smell and shape, and thought he'd get a new one the next day anyway. But on the way home I felt like a real thief.
« Last Edit: 25 February 2014, 05:21:24 pm by Green Carnation »

happyhappyjoyjoy

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Re: The most despicable thing you've done to a good client?
« Reply #25 on: 25 February 2014, 03:10:53 pm »
I stole a soap bar from his hotel room  :-[ i just loved the smell and shape, and thought he'd get a new one the next day anyway. But on the way home I felt like a real thieve.

 :o HOW COULD YOU!!!!  :P

amy

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Re: The most despicable thing you've done to a good client?
« Reply #26 on: 25 February 2014, 03:23:05 pm »
I stole a soap bar from his hotel room  :-[ i just loved the smell and shape, and thought he'd get a new one the next day anyway. But on the way home I felt like a real thieve.

I did that, but it was one of those little aromatherapy kits with the nice pillow spray and scented oil that you get at Crowne Plazas. In my defence he was leaving the room not long after me so it wasn't going to get used :-\.

ellie38hh

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Re: The most despicable thing you've done to a good client?
« Reply #27 on: 25 February 2014, 04:32:36 pm »
Did an outcall saturday to a lovely hotel and stole the yellow rubber duck ;D with the name of the hotel on..... was having a down day with and it made me laugh ;D

Green Carnation

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Re: The most despicable thing you've done to a good client?
« Reply #28 on: 25 February 2014, 05:26:55 pm »
Yep- it was a Crowne Plaza  8)
I'd also feared that the lovely little soap wouldn't be used. But now I'm somehow disappointed that
I didn't see any pillow spray and scented oil, otherwise...
« Last Edit: 25 February 2014, 05:28:35 pm by Green Carnation »

Phoenix

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Re: The most despicable thing you've done to a good client?
« Reply #29 on: 26 February 2014, 06:04:55 pm »
I once saw a very odd character who, when I arrived, announced he was fresh out of jail and said I was his 'welcome home' pressie from his pals.
Fair enough, but he was a nightmare from start to finish and became increasingly drunk on super-strong lager as we er played..

As I 'escaped' ( terrible pun intended :-[ )  into the bathroom at the end of the session, he warned me not to steal anything in there as it was his parents' place!  I was outraged and solely tempted to bag the quilted toilet paper that was -unbelievably- motiffed!!

I didn't - his mates' sounded odder and harder than him!  :-\