SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: MaddieMoo on 22 February 2014, 02:27:35 am
-
A chap earlier wanted a cup of tea so I made him one and then he went for a shower... I took a gulp of his tea while he was in the shower and while I feel bad about it I do make a damn good cuppa!
What's your worst similar thing?!
-
That's not despicable :D I mean, it's not like you outed him to his wife, or anything ;D
A good cuppa is there to be enjoyed ;)
-
That's not despicable :D I mean, it's not like you outed him to his wife, or anything ;D
Is there a hidden message there somewhere?
No-one would do anything like that, surely?
-
I wouldnt do anything despicable to a good or bad client.
-
A chap earlier wanted a cup of tea so I made him one and then he went for a shower... I took a gulp of his tea while he was in the shower and while I feel bad about it I do make a damn good cuppa!
What's your worst similar thing?!
Hahahaha oh that's pure weird lol x
-
If I wanted a cup of tea I'd have made one myself or wait until he's gone.
-
I will share a glass with a client at the end of a session if he's got some water or coke left in there and I need a sip of something, and I'll make a joke about how silly we'd be to be squeamish about sharing a glass after all the kissing and oral we've just been doing. ;D
-
Having a sip of tea isn't very despicable lol, just a lil cheeky :) outing to their wives is unforgivable though!! Men don't pay us just for sex they pay us to leave afterwards with no strings attached. Maybe make two cups next time though haha xxx
-
Having a sip of tea isn't very despicable lol, just a lil cheeky :) outing to their wives is unforgivable though!! Men don't pay us just for sex they pay us to leave afterwards with no strings attached. Maybe make two cups next time though haha xxx
Well since nobody has posted that they've done any such thing (and it's hardly likely that they would if they had), it's irrelevant isn't it? You might as well add deliberately passing on an STI or drugging a punter's food or drink to the list - I've heard of ladies doing both but that isn't the question the OP was asking.
As for 'hidden' messages, if anybody has got confused about the difference between the forum (not hidden) and the PM system (hidden), by all means drop any of the mod or admin team a line and we'll be very happy to explain it :).
-
I don't think I've ever done anything despicable to a client. Accidentally put one clients glasses on instead of mine once, I guess that would have been quite despicable if he'd gone off home wearing my girly swirly frames ;D I've been careful to make sure my glasses aren't anywhere near the client's ever since!
-
I guess that would have been quite despicable if he'd gone off home wearing my girly swirly frames ;D I've been careful to make sure my glasses aren't anywhere near the client's ever since!
*books firing squad* ;D
-
I guess that would have been quite despicable if he'd gone off home wearing my girly swirly frames ;D I've been careful to make sure my glasses aren't anywhere near the client's ever since!
*books firing squad* ;D
;D :D ;D
-
I meant dispicable in a silly way obviously!
-
Not intentionally at all but I once left my dog's shampoo in the bathroom. When the client returned from showering I noticed the scent although very pleasant was different from the stuff I put there for clients. I then spent the next hour trying to avoid giggling or saying stuff like 'Who's a good boy then..?!?' or commenting on his thick glossy mane... ;D
-
Not intentionally at all but I once left my dog's shampoo in the bathroom. When the client returned from showering I noticed the scent although very pleasant was different from the stuff I put there for clients. I then spent the next hour trying to avoid giggling or saying stuff like 'Who's a good boy then..?!?' or commenting on his thick glossy mane... ;D
LOL!! I have a vision of you going the whole hog and offering him a worming tablet if he asked for a viagra!!
-
That dog shampoo thing's really funny!!
I haven't done anything intentionally despicable, but I am the world's clumsiest girl and the number of drinks I have accidentally kicked over cream carpets and white bedspreads is pretty high. It's got to the stage where I only drink white wine with clients as letting me loose on a glass of red is just too risky x
-
That almost feels like karmic retribution for all the ones who've gone in the bathroom and washed their knob with my Clinique :(.
I didn't do it, but I once toyed with shoving a tuna fish sandwich that I had in my bag down the back of the radiator before I left a particularly unpleasant outcall (nothing horrific, just textbook arsehole). The room was really overheated which is bad enough anyway, but even without the help I reckon that would've stank pretty bad. I didn't bother in the end, mostly because I wanted to eat the sandwich :).
-
That's not despicable :D I mean, it's not like you outed him to his wife, or anything ;D
:)
-
Not intentionally at all but I once left my dog's shampoo in the bathroom. When the client returned from showering I noticed the scent although very pleasant was different from the stuff I put there for clients. I then spent the next hour trying to avoid giggling or saying stuff like 'Who's a good boy then..?!?' or commenting on his thick glossy mane... ;D
LOL!! I have a vision of you going the whole hog and offering him a worming tablet if he asked for a viagra!!
Hahahaha I didn't think of that. But he reminded me a little of an overeager Terrier when he snuffled away at my nether regions. But the hair really was very soft and shiny... ;D
-
Not intentionally at all but I once left my dog's shampoo in the bathroom. When the client returned from showering I noticed the scent although very pleasant was different from the stuff I put there for clients. I then spent the next hour trying to avoid giggling or saying stuff like 'Who's a good boy then..?!?' or commenting on his thick glossy mane... ;D
That had me in stitches!!
That dog shampoo thing's really funny!!
I haven't done anything intentionally despicable, but I am the world's clumsiest girl and the number of drinks I have accidentally kicked over cream carpets and white bedspreads is pretty high. It's got to the stage where I only drink white wine with clients as letting me loose on a glass of red is just too risky x
I've had SO many near misses, and once let a few drops of red spill onto a hotel duvet that I've started the same - no red wine, I am way too clumsy at exactly the worst moment.
-
I did once knee a client in the face doing 69, it wasn't very hard and I'm always so careful when manoeuvring but I think I just lost balance. I'm waiting for the day when I accidently squish someone's balls, has never happened but it's at the back of my mind.
-
I stood my stilletto heel right into someone bare foot. I was mortified!
-
On an outcall I sat on the sofa (in stockings) and as I was talking felt something small and sharp digging in my leg, I absent mindedly pulled it out of the sofa, thinking it was a splinter. It was a tiny feather from the stuffing. But he looked at me, mouth open like I'd just committed some atrocity, jumped up and grabbed the feather and made a big scene of putting it on the table. It was all downhill from there. I never heard from him again so he hasn't forgiven me. I'll live.
Another time I grabbed the lube, instead of the 2 in 1 lube/massage gel, and poured it over a client's back during a massage. It made a mess. An awful mess.
-
Went to an early morning outcall. Forgot I had shoved a glycerin suppository up my arse due to constipation. As the service came to a climax I had to rush to his beautiful ensuite. I really stunk the place out. So embarrassed.
-
I stole a soap bar from his hotel room :-[ i just loved the smell and shape, and thought he'd get a new one the next day anyway. But on the way home I felt like a real thief.
-
I stole a soap bar from his hotel room :-[ i just loved the smell and shape, and thought he'd get a new one the next day anyway. But on the way home I felt like a real thieve.
:o HOW COULD YOU!!!! :P
-
I stole a soap bar from his hotel room :-[ i just loved the smell and shape, and thought he'd get a new one the next day anyway. But on the way home I felt like a real thieve.
I did that, but it was one of those little aromatherapy kits with the nice pillow spray and scented oil that you get at Crowne Plazas. In my defence he was leaving the room not long after me so it wasn't going to get used :-\.
-
Did an outcall saturday to a lovely hotel and stole the yellow rubber duck ;D with the name of the hotel on..... was having a down day with and it made me laugh ;D
-
Yep- it was a Crowne Plaza 8)
I'd also feared that the lovely little soap wouldn't be used. But now I'm somehow disappointed that
I didn't see any pillow spray and scented oil, otherwise...
-
I once saw a very odd character who, when I arrived, announced he was fresh out of jail and said I was his 'welcome home' pressie from his pals.
Fair enough, but he was a nightmare from start to finish and became increasingly drunk on super-strong lager as we er played..
As I 'escaped' ( terrible pun intended :-[ ) into the bathroom at the end of the session, he warned me not to steal anything in there as it was his parents' place! I was outraged and solely tempted to bag the quilted toilet paper that was -unbelievably- motiffed!!
I didn't - his mates' sounded odder and harder than him! :-\
-
^^^ yes I do this too ;D
Not so long ago sent a 'smiling kick in the nuts' email to a regular who has been driving me mad with his self-centered demands. It was totally passive agressive on my part, but he has disappeared thank fuck!!
-
Once a client was playing with my feet, when all the sudden in a quick motion he stuck all my toes into his mouth,
witch made me so surprised and ticklish at the same time, i kicked him in his mouth, poor guy :(
Once i also had a regular who had been seeing me every week for 4 months,
i did not like him, he always smelled, even after taking a shower :/ and + he was very annoying,
on one of our bookings he asked me afterwards, "how was it for you?"
And i was going to say "Awesome" but all that came out was "Awful..", i tried to correct myself
needless to say, he never came back to see me. :/
-
I don't have mirrors in my room - so I make faces behind a clients back sometimes.... just to amuse myself xxx
If I'm working with another lady, we make faces at each other...sometimes it's hard no to laugh xxx
Despicable me.
I used to do this too. I also always wanted to pop in a pair of horror blood red or black contacts whilst giving head but with my duo partner in front to hide me to suddenly pop up and growl at a client. I never did though but would love to see their faces
I did however forget when I decorated I put these large wavy mirrors at the end f the bed and pulled a face and the client was staring at the mirror OOPs had to pretend it was they way I yawned (he did not look impressed though)
-
Once a client was playing with my feet, when all the sudden in a quick motion he stuck all my toes into his mouth,
witch made me so surprised and ticklish at the same time, i kicked him in his mouth, poor guy :(
Once i also had a regular who had been seeing me every week for 4 months,
i did not like him, he always smelled, even after taking a shower :/ and + he was very annoying,
on one of our bookings he asked me afterwards, "how was it for you?"
And i was going to say "Awesome" but all that came out was "Awful..", i tried to correct myself
needless to say, he never came back to see me. :/
I had that toe thing. Client was kissing his way around the top of my feet and I twitched and told him to be careful as my toes are very ticklish so he thought sucking my toes would be an ace idea, clearly he liked the giggles, unfortunately i didnt expect it and jerked and toe kicked him in the back of his throat. He recovered after a bit of coughing and spluttering and I said "tut tut?won't do that again will you"
I did feel awful though?its why I warned him not too.
I have to be very careful when doing my soapsuds massage as if Mr Willy boings the wrong way just as Im slithering a mother way it could cause a problem but a few times just as Ive pushed off for a slide the guy has decided to move and those soapsuds are slippy, not much stopping the slide so I have got the odd bullock at the wrong angle once or twice. They do stay still after that though. its not deliberate and I do feel awful but what can you do x
-
The great thing about having a belly is when you are sat on someones face you can stop you "face acting" lol
-
I wore a plain black vest top in place of a skirt recently for a regular who likes a secretary outfit and a bit of mild roleplay :) He's really fussy about the outfit and just 20min before he was due to arrive I realised I hadn't brought the skirt with me and was in a panic because the outfit is an important part of the booking for him! I was sure he would cancel as I'd have to tell him, at such short notice, but decided to give the vest top a go and just kinda tucked the straps in discreetly... he even said I looked great when he walked in, and I kept having to tuck the straps away during the booking but if he noticed he didn't say anything!
-
i stole a dressing gown, though lost my knickers, karma i guess but i was happy with the trade!
-
I had a regular come round and I forgot that I was on a little bit of a bleed.
I can usually work through bleeding as I am very light and irregular due to the contraceptive implant.
My tactic whilst working is to put in a tampon whilst waiting for them to arrive then ditch it last minute.
Well, once I forgot to ditch it. With this in mind, I got him onto the edge of the bed to give him a blowie, and whilst on my knees, managed to pull out the tampon and shove it under the bed for later!
He never knew!
-
I had a regular come round and I forgot that I was on a little bit of a bleed.
I can usually work through bleeding as I am very light and irregular due to the contraceptive implant.
My tactic whilst working is to put in a tampon whilst waiting for them to arrive then ditch it last minute.
Well, once I forgot to ditch it. With this in mind, I got him onto the edge of the bed to give him a blowie, and whilst on my knees, managed to pull out the tampon and shove it under the bed for later!
He never knew!
Haha!! I think you could set off alarms and have people dancing about the room, they wouldn't notice it if they're getting head lol
-
I don't have mirrors in my room - so I make faces behind a clients back sometimes.... just to amuse myself xxx
If I'm working with another lady, we make faces at each other...sometimes it's hard no to laugh xxx
Despicable me.
I do that!! Xx
-
^^ guilty as charged lol
-
If I'm working with another lady, we make faces at each other...sometimes it's hard no to laugh xxx
Me too ;D ;D ;D
-
it was a quote but somehow I fail to do it right sorry :FF
-
I had the urge to tickle a clients foot today. I resisted though! It was right by my hand and he wasn't looking. Then I thought of this thread and you girls making silly faces.
-
The worst thing I've done is when a new client had booked me for an overnight, he wanted a back massage before he fell asleep. He rolled over on to his front to reveal a back covered in pustules, spots and hairy moles! Panicking and not wanting to touch his back, I told him to close his eyes and after quickly scanning the room, grabbed a fork from our earlier room service meal. I told him I was using a new back scratcher that I was testing out on him and, as he had kept his eyes shut until he fell asleep, was none the wiser!
The only problem was that he has become a regular so I had to Blue Peter one of my forks and remember to include it in my kit every time I see him!
Rachex
-
The worst thing I've done is when a new client had booked me for an overnight, he wanted a back massage before he fell asleep. He rolled over on to his front to reveal a back covered in pustules, spots and hairy moles! Panicking and not wanting to touch his back, I told him to close his eyes and after quickly scanning the room, grabbed a fork from our earlier room service meal. I told him I was using a new back scratcher that I was testing out on him and, as he had kept his eyes shut until he fell asleep, was none the wiser!
The only problem was that he has become a regular so I had to Blue Peter one of my forks and remember to include it in my kit every time I see him!
Rachex
HAHAHA that's is just to funny xD