That reminds me I had the landlords handyman in during some work, he was taking ages and my client turned up. Luckily the landlord knew what I was up to because I had to make him swear to keep quiet and not come out of the kitchen while I went and did the booking. Came back to the biggest grin ever, it was then that I realised how paperthin the walls were 

Hotel outcall, he opened the door, said hello and led me in, all very gentlemanly. I looked around and saw another man sitting patiently in the room. I was a bit puzzled as it wasn't a multi-job. The man who greeted me was the interpreter and the waiting guy was his employer. He introduced us nicely and told me what his boss required. It felt like a blind date with a matchmaker helping us out.  Russian mafia

This has just reminded me of when I first started, a decade ago. I had an Outcall with a chap who, had very slight learning disabilities. Nothing major, in fact I'm struggling to recall what it was in particular..He conversed really well on the phone and mentioned a "Dickie leg" or something.

When I arrived, I was greeted by a carer at his door who stayed in the parlour throughout.
I had been told nothing about this in advance..
Awkward 

This thread just shows how funny this job can be and it isn't all work or mentally draining!

Too many to remember all now but two which still make me smile at the memory. 

Years ago I used to visit a very old man, he was late eighties and a widower then but sprightly enough. He thought of himself as some kind of dom master but looking back he was terrible at it.  On my arrival he brought out the tea set and "fancy" biscuits and we had that (it was always a 2 hr booking) while we talked then he would go into the hall and open the cupboard door. Looking like father xmas he came back to the living room with a huge black bin bag over his shoulder. It contained all his dom stuff to tie me to the chair and shackle me to the door with those over door devices plus other items we never got around to using and it took him so long to do it all I just thought this is nice I am paid for doing nothing here.

No real sex as he couldn't but he liked to touch me and play with my body while I was helpless. Easy but boring for me but what happened next was the funniest bit.  End of session and he placed everything back in the plastic sack. He tied the top with string which had a label attached. In case of death please dispose of this bag without opening.

His son lived a few miles away and the old guy told me (each time I visited) that if he died in his sleep his son would never find out his dad's secret as he would do as instructed on the label and not look in the sack.

I think he really believed this is how it would happen. 

Eventually I stopped seeing him as he became so possessive and wanted me to meet him out of hours and just talk but I wasn't interested.  I am sure he will have passed on to the dungeon in the sky by now.

I have another funny one but will save for later as my dog wants his breakfast and keeps pawing me. 

Comedy gold OMG Justine as I was reading...I though you meant in case of your death !!

Phoenix- Yes, the interpreter rung me up pretending to be the client, but they were so blue chip corporate about the whole thing I rolled with it.
I'd be thinking thinking about the carer twiddling his thumbs a bit distracting?

Forgot my reason for posting..
Yes, the wigs! 
 I see a few transvestites and they often wear the cheapest most comical wigs..They are usually the hugest of men too. I imagine it's quite costly to source lingerie and stilettoes in their size 🤔
The moment they cum, they whip off the offending headpiece and revert to alpha male police officer/Road worker/lorry Driver etc 

Mine was a girl/girl cam session.  The guy produced a puppet snowman, and entertained us with funny stories rather than us getting him off.  He had us in stitches, and we got paid for it too.  Win win.

LOL This actually reminded me of a blind date I went on many many years ago, pre escorting days.  Was sat in a bar with this guy with my back to the door.  He looked beyond me towards the door as if he had seen someone walk in and said 'hope you don't mind but I've bought a friend with me'.  Thought it very odd but turned round towards the door to see who was coming, noone, but when I turned back to face him he had a sock puppet on his hand and said 'I'd like you to meet my best friend Wally'    .  I was mortified and promptly said just going to the loo and climbed out the window!!  Thank god it was pre mobile too otherwise I'd have probably never got rid of him LOL