SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: Hadley on 15 December 2015, 03:51:22 pm
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Just that really - why do they do it!
The client I'm referring to is a great guy, lots of fun and we get on well together. I don't fancy him but have a brilliant time with him - I really do think "great" when he books as he's a lovely man!
It's also quite lucrative as he books every week or more. Perfect.
However now he's decide to drop the "L" bomb, which as we all know means that you either have the choice of saying it back (which I wouldn't, being an honest gal) and be expected to see him for free (you know, because you luurrve each other) or saying as nicely/ casually/kindly as you can that you're not interested. Which will of course mean that he will never book you again.
I think I'm particularly irritated because this person has never, ever, asked anything about me. He doesn't know my name, my marital status, my background, my real personality, anything about my hobbies, or anything about my daily life. Yet he loves me, apparently, on the basis of the fantasy that I (am paid to) project.
Which in summary means a very nice client, with the associated income stream, goes down the toilet.
So very annoying.
xx
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Just that really - why do they do it!
The client I'm referring to is a great guy, lots of fun and we get on well together. I don't fancy him but have a brilliant time with him - I really do think "great" when he books as he's a lovely man!
It's also quite lucrative as he books every week or more. Perfect.
However now he's decide to drop the "L" bomb, which as we all know means that you either have the choice of saying it back (which I wouldn't, being an honest gal) and be expected to see him for free (you know, because you luurrve each other) or saying as nicely/ casually/kindly as you can that you're not interested. Which will of course mean that he will never book you again.
I think I'm particularly irritated because this person has never, ever, asked anything about me. He doesn't know my name, my marital status, my background, my real personality, anything about my hobbies, or anything about my daily life. Yet he loves me, apparently, on the basis of the fantasy that I (am paid to) project.
Which in summary means a very nice client, with the associated income stream, goes down the toilet.
So very annoying.
xx
This resonates with me so strongly - I've briefly posted something about it elsewhere.
I have been seeing a client twice a week, sometimes three times for the past month or so. After each visit, the texts become more intrusive, more irritating and more of an invasion of my privacy. The ole 'I won't bug you by text but.....'.
The upshot is the latter messages were stating that he needs to know he's special (he's not), needs to know he is the most important guy I see (he's not) and needs me to inform him when I'm seeing other guys (errr, nope!). Would text war and peace telling me trivial aspects of his life that had no bearing on me at all. On two occasions I basically told him he needs to back off or I can't see him. He promised he would. Last week I message him saying if this continues I'm not seeing him, nor will there be another chance. Cheeky twat responded that He couldn't see me anymore as there was feelings involved. If I'm honest, I thought 'thank fuck for that'. Then 5 minutes later he said, 'I didn't mean, I'm just in L with you' :FF I then said, sorry, that's it, I'm not seeing you anymore because you are taking the piss and making me feel completely uncomfortable. Take care and don't contact me again. I didn't hear anything until yesterday afternoon and got this essay about life being too short to fall out and can I give him another chance as he 'Wasn't that bad?'. Talk about needy!! I basically said, no chance, it's done and I'm not interested. Today ffs, I get a text saying I'm deleting your number now yadda, yadda and waffled on. I didn't answer and have just blocked him.
I'll be honest; up until last week when I told him I wouldn't be seeing him again I was getting more and more bothered by the latter text messages. You know when you're out somewhere and you feel like a creep is eyeballing you? It got to be like that. This guy was also lucrative and really good company but within a short time, he became needy, possessive, annoying and downright creepy.
I'm relieved he has gone and I hope guys like him are few and far between - for all of us WGs xx
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I totally understand. This happened to me and I'm sure plenty of other girls.
Great client, couldn't fault him for anything, he was great company and I enjoyed seeing him, the 30+ year age gap didn't seem to make a difference and we were able to converse on all levels.
He saw me once a week every week, sometimes twice. Then he said he loved me, a few months back. Like you, he hadn't really asked identifying information about me, he asked what I do aside from this and I would give a brief answer. He loved the GFE and again like you fell in love with the fantasy. And told me how he loved me and that he would love to give things a go... What?! I sent him a nice email stating that I don't feel the same and I'm sorry to let him down, I also said that I couldn't see him again now that he's said he's fallen in love with me as it could blur the lines and make him think it's more than what it is. I also wouldn't want to take money from someone who is deluding themselves into thinking I feel the same as them.
Obviously he was upset and stated he could put his feelings aside, which is rubbish. I've had this happen before and as soon as that client said he loved me I stopped seeing him and he started stalking me so I wouldn't take the risk again with this guy. He begged me to continue seeing him and I told him No my mind won't change.
It's been about 5 months now and still now he tries to contact me. I blocked his AW, and he emailed me instead (my email is visible on my profile) and has used different numbers to contact me, luckily he hasn't tried to hide who he is, he's just said "please give me another chance" I haven't replied to any messages. But it goes to show that I made the right decision not seeing him if he's still pestering months later. He's a 55 year old man, told me he's single and doesn't have any kids not much friends so probably is lonely. Whereas I'm 22, and my life is completely different. He needs to realise in the nicest way possible if it wasn't for me escorting I wouldn't have taken a second look at him in the street.
It's really annoying you lose a perfectly good client to them losing their head in a couple hours of fantasy! I feel for you, but look on the bright side, one regular goes another one is always round the corner! Lol x
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Unfortunately it's an occupational hazard. Some guys doing this are incredibly needy and quickly become obsessed with girls to a point they don't see the reality that this is a business. It's the same as guys who are a regular at a pub or cafe and they strike up a rapport with a cute waitress then they think something is going on when they just like the tips he gives. Many of them have issues letting go of a fantasy when reality comes around to bite them in the ass. Some of them really are deluded though like 60 year olds who think a girl of 19/20 would want to spend time with them if they were not paying them for it.
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No client has ever said they love me :(
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No client has ever said they love me :(
Thank your lucky stars Nia ;D it becomes an uncomfortable ball ache
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I just think it's such an ungentlemanly thing to do.
Both the escort and client know that, at heart, this is a business transaction. However both parties expect a little kindness, friendliness and humanity both ways, to ensure both the escort and client enjoy their time and leave happy.
However dropping the "L" bomb kills all that. There are certain expectations set up during the structure of the booking designed not to reveal the "bare bones" of the sex for money transaction. The first is the payment - it is expected that the gentleman would offer the money; either without prompting, or with a very gentle reminder (do you have something for me please?) Should the gentleman be so rude as to ignore that, the girl then has to directly ask for money, which kills the fa?ade.
The same with the declaration of love - by transgressing the boundaries of the escort / client business relationship the girl is then forced into the humiliating position of verbalising the sex for money contract. Once again embarrassing and awkward, ruining what would otherwise be a nice time.
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No client has ever said they love me :(
Thank your lucky stars Nia ;D it becomes an uncomfortable ball ache
I can imagine, what Hadley said about this guy not really knowing her is typical. Clients must think we are always shaved, buffed, made up and horny. Perhaps invite him over to lounge about eating and watching tv in your pjs and tell him you've got a headache when he wants a fuck, that might change his mind!
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Unfortunately it's an occupational hazard. Some guys doing this are incredibly needy and quickly become obsessed with girls to a point they don't see the reality that this is a business. It's the same as guys who are a regular at a pub or cafe and they strike up a rapport with a cute waitress then they think something is going on when they just like the tips he gives. Many of them have issues letting go of a fantasy when reality comes around to bite them in the ass. Some of them really are deluded though like 60 year olds who think a girl of 19/20 would want to spend time with them if they were not paying them for it.
I agree. Like in my situation, as a young girl what would I want with a 55 year old man? I don't mean that in a nasty way, my point is, at my age the guys are go for are around my age or 30s and I find attractive. This man was your average Joe, slightly overweight but polite man. And he really believed that we could "give it a go".
It's kind of sad that some men are so lonely they delude themselves into thinking paying for escorts and getting great services or the fact she let you stay over time for 20 mins automatically means she wants to date you. It doesn't! The way I see it is, if she's not fucking you for free, she's not interested.
They really need to realise it's a fantasy they pay for and most of us are just nice girls who like to meet new people and engage in conversation this doesn't mean we want a relationship. I am so thankful for my regulars who know the score and understand it's business transaction!
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It'll be rather interesting over the Christmas period as to how much some lonely guys may try and push the feelings/attachment thing..... Loneliest time of the year for some; however, 'Good will to all men' does not translate to 'Extended willy suck for lonely men' ::)
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Sorry to be cynical but after several similar experiences when clients say 'I love you' I translate it into 'I really like spending time with you and having great sex with you but I really don't want to pay any more, so because you're such a nice person I'll play on your feelings in the hope that you will fall in love with me then I'll be able to see you for free'.
Its good that he's not asking you personal questions or trying to find out things about you, I would play him at his own game and say something like 'I'm quite fond of you too, but lets just enjoy our time together and not spoil things'. That's not being dishonest but not leading him on either :-)
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I had this a few months ago with 2 clients. My policy is to ignore, I simply refuse to engage in their fantasy! Often a lack of enthusiasm or a brief silence works wonders, they will start to feel awkward and drop the subject. Should they persist I make it absolutely clear to them that I don't date or do anything outside of the client/escort relationship.
The last one was a very needy guy, after saying the L word he then said he wanted us to go out to dinner the next time....my marked lack of interest got thro to him. I'm dammed if I'm going to be made to feel bad because of their neuroses!
He still wanted to book me again, only he picked a time when I wasn't working. I doubt he'll try it again but if he does I will make it clear its a no go and consider not seeing him again.
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Sorry to be cynical but after several similar experiences when clients say 'I love you' I translate it into 'I really like spending time with you and having great sex with you but I really don't want to pay any more, so because you're such a nice person I'll play on your feelings in the hope that you will fall in love with me then I'll be able to see you for free'.
Very true for some guys yes; but in my particular case, there was no mention of the money being an issue (or he'd have been out the door before he had chance to blink). It was more the suffocation by emotion that really pissed me off and weighed me down - it was exhausting ::)
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Sorry to be cynical but after several similar experiences when clients say 'I love you' I translate it into 'I really like spending time with you and having great sex with you but I really don't want to pay any more, so because you're such a nice person I'll play on your feelings in the hope that you will fall in love with me then I'll be able to see you for free'.
Very true for some guys yes; but in my particular case, there was no mention of the money being an issue (or he'd have been out the door before he had chance to blink). It was more the suffocation by emotion that really pissed me off and weighed me down - it was exhausting ::)
Oh yes, that type are even worse, its so draining, like an emotional vacuum sucking the life out of you! I've had them wanting to be 'my baby', my lover, others have wanted to be my 'rock' , my best friend and the latest wants to be 'owned' by me. I like the ones who just book some time, pay, have a good time and go, I can't be doing with being an emotional dustbin for these types, brain drain isn't worth the money.
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Sorry to be cynical but after several similar experiences when clients say 'I love you' I translate it into 'I really like spending time with you and having great sex with you but I really don't want to pay any more, so because you're such a nice person I'll play on your feelings in the hope that you will fall in love with me then I'll be able to see you for free'.
Very true for some guys yes; but in my particular case, there was no mention of the money being an issue (or he'd have been out the door before he had chance to blink). It was more the suffocation by emotion that really pissed me off and weighed me down - it was exhausting ::)
Oh yes, that type are even worse, its so draining, like an emotional vacuum sucking the life out of you! I've had them wanting to be 'my baby', my lover, others have wanted to be my 'rock' , my best friend and the latest wants to be 'owned' by me. I like the ones who just book some time, pay, have a good time and go, I can't be doing with being an emotional dustbin for these types, brain drain isn't worth the money.
Indeed ;D I've no idea why some guys see themselves as a saviour - a saviour of what exactly I don't know... another of mine who I stopped seeing weeks ago because of the emotional suckage wanting me to call him 'sugar daddy' and only see him. I could have acted all that out, but playing with his hideously long nips for 2 hours just gave me dead arms... he couldn't get hard for one reason or another (medical). I'd rather he had though as it would have been less taxing than two hours of pensioner nipple mauling :o
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Sorry to be cynical but after several similar experiences when clients say 'I love you' I translate it into 'I really like spending time with you and having great sex with you but I really don't want to pay any more, so because you're such a nice person I'll play on your feelings in the hope that you will fall in love with me then I'll be able to see you for free'.
Very true for some guys yes; but in my particular case, there was no mention of the money being an issue (or he'd have been out the door before he had chance to blink). It was more the suffocation by emotion that really pissed me off and weighed me down - it was exhausting ::)
Oh yes, that type are even worse, its so draining, like an emotional vacuum sucking the life out of you! I've had them wanting to be 'my baby', my lover, others have wanted to be my 'rock' , my best friend and the latest wants to be 'owned' by me. I like the ones who just book some time, pay, have a good time and go, I can't be doing with being an emotional dustbin for these types, brain drain isn't worth the money.
Indeed ;D I've no idea why some guys see themselves as a saviour - a saviour of what exactly I don't know... another of mine who I stopped seeing weeks ago because of the emotional suckage wanting me to call him 'sugar daddy' and only see him. I could have acted all that out, but playing with his hideously long nips for 2 hours just gave me dead arms... he couldn't get hard for one reason or another (medical). I'd rather he had though as it would have been less taxing than two hours of pensioner nipple mauling :o
2 hours of 'pensioner nipple mauling' creased me up, sounds horrific though lol!! Seriously do they really think that's what a real girlfriend would do!?? I would prefer 2 hours of full on sex too!
The 'saviour' yes some seem to think because we choose to do this job we must be 'victims' who need saving...If I won the lottery yes course I'd give up work, just as I would any other job but I certainly don't need 'saving'.
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Sorry to be cynical but after several similar experiences when clients say 'I love you' I translate it into 'I really like spending time with you and having great sex with you but I really don't want to pay any more, so because you're such a nice person I'll play on your feelings in the hope that you will fall in love with me then I'll be able to see you for free'.
Very true for some guys yes; but in my particular case, there was no mention of the money being an issue (or he'd have been out the door before he had chance to blink). It was more the suffocation by emotion that really pissed me off and weighed me down - it was exhausting ::)
Oh yes, that type are even worse, its so draining, like an emotional vacuum sucking the life out of you! I've had them wanting to be 'my baby', my lover, others have wanted to be my 'rock' , my best friend and the latest wants to be 'owned' by me. I like the ones who just book some time, pay, have a good time and go, I can't be doing with being an emotional dustbin for these types, brain drain isn't worth the money.
Indeed ;D I've no idea why some guys see themselves as a saviour - a saviour of what exactly I don't know... another of mine who I stopped seeing weeks ago because of the emotional suckage wanting me to call him 'sugar daddy' and only see him. I could have acted all that out, but playing with his hideously long nips for 2 hours just gave me dead arms... he couldn't get hard for one reason or another (medical). I'd rather he had though as it would have been less taxing than two hours of pensioner nipple mauling :o
2 hours of 'pensioner nipple mauling' creased me up, sounds horrific though lol!! Seriously do they really think that's what a real girlfriend would do!?? I would prefer 2 hours of full on sex too!
The 'saviour' yes some seem to think because we choose to do this job we must be 'victims' who need saving...If I won the lottery yes course I'd give up work, just as I would any other job but I certainly don't need 'saving'.
You ain't lived until you've nip mauled until you've dead arms ha ;D
Do you know what, I'm not sure if I would give escorting if I won the lottery - mind you, I don't buy a ticket so that's never going to happen, so that was a completely pointless statement I made there....ahem ::)
Slightly gone off point here - whoops ;D
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I buy 2 lucky dips twice a week :-))))
Anyway back on topic re not wanting to lose good paying clients but not wanting the headache that goes with it when they take a wee bit more than a shine to you. When one door closes another one opens...;-)
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I buy 2 lucky dips twice a week :-))))
Anyway back on topic re not wanting to lose good paying clients but not wanting the headache that goes with it when they take a wee bit more than a shine to you. When one door closes another one opens...;-)
Don't you think we have enough un(lucky dips) :o haaaaaaaaaaa
Yes, I'm guessing a lot of guys are going to get emotionally attached if they're regulars; at least to some extent anyways. It's horses for courses I reckon. I've had 2 very young guys get attached (18 and 19 - I'm early 40s) and 2 older guys (one late 50s, who dropped the L bomb and one late 60s, who has booked for Thursday and Saturday this week). It's getting easier picking up the warning signs, but I'm still only 3 months in.
Wonder what Santa will bring me :D
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Sorry to sound like I'm revelling in the misfortunes of others ;D but it does make me feel better to know that there's others in the same boat!
I can imagine, what Hadley said about this guy not really knowing her is typical. Clients must think we are always shaved, buffed, made up and horny. Perhaps invite him over to lounge about eating and watching tv in your pjs and tell him you've got a headache when he wants a fuck, that might change his mind!
You're so right Nia, let's see how much he loves me when he sees me sitting in bed watching X factor in my pyjamas, scratching my arse and eating Ben and Jerrys.
Methinks his ardour might melt away at that point ;D
xx
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Sorry to sound like I'm revelling in the misfortunes of others ;D but it does make me feel better to know that there's others in the same boat!
I can imagine, what Hadley said about this guy not really knowing her is typical. Clients must think we are always shaved, buffed, made up and horny. Perhaps invite him over to lounge about eating and watching tv in your pjs and tell him you've got a headache when he wants a fuck, that might change his mind!
You're so right Nia, let's see how much he loves me when he sees me sitting in bed watching X factor in my pyjamas, scratching my arse and eating Ben and Jerrys.
Methinks his ardour might melt away at that point ;D
xx
That's the difference between reality and fantasy in their eyes - they assume we don't do any of the 'normal' stuff and we look gorgeous everyday. I don't think they'd be so adoring toward us if they perceived us as the normal gals we are (actresses aside); but I suppose that's part of the fantasy x
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Sorry to be cynical but after several similar experiences when clients say 'I love you' I translate it into 'I really like spending time with you and having great sex with you but I really don't want to pay any more, so because you're such a nice person I'll play on your feelings in the hope that you will fall in love with me then I'll be able to see you for free'.
Very true for some guys yes; but in my particular case, there was no mention of the money being an issue (or he'd have been out the door before he had chance to blink). It was more the suffocation by emotion that really pissed me off and weighed me down - it was exhausting ::)
Oh yes, that type are even worse, its so draining, like an emotional vacuum sucking the life out of you! I've had them wanting to be 'my baby', my lover, others have wanted to be my 'rock' , my best friend and the latest wants to be 'owned' by me. I like the ones who just book some time, pay, have a good time and go, I can't be doing with being an emotional dustbin for these types, brain drain isn't worth the money.
Indeed ;D I've no idea why some guys see themselves as a saviour - a saviour of what exactly I don't know... another of mine who I stopped seeing weeks ago because of the emotional suckage wanting me to call him 'sugar daddy' and only see him. I could have acted all that out, but playing with his hideously long nips for 2 hours just gave me dead arms... he couldn't get hard for one reason or another (medical). I'd rather he had though as it would have been less taxing than two hours of pensioner nipple mauling :o
2 hours of 'pensioner nipple mauling' creased me up, sounds horrific though lol!! Seriously do they really think that's what a real girlfriend would do!?? I would prefer 2 hours of full on sex too!
The 'saviour' yes some seem to think because we choose to do this job we must be 'victims' who need saving...If I won the lottery yes course I'd give up work, just as I would any other job but I certainly don't need 'saving'.
The 'saviour' yes some seem to think because we choose to do this job we must be 'victims' who need saving...If I won the lottery yes course I'd give up work, just as I would any other job but I certainly don't need 'saving'.
Oh this was spot on. EXACTLY THIS! Oh we are prostitutes, we must be emotionally damaged so a man saying that he loves us is a relief isn't it? It's flattering isn't it? FUCK NOOOOOO. They are too ugly anyway so even if they wasn't a client I would still get offended. I was arguing with myself this morning saying some men just do not see themselves as ugly. that's just a fact. The majority are so ugly so why on earth would you come chat me up anyway? if I sense a client getting emotionally attached or I feel as though he is crossing the line I just ignore. I had a client not so long ago said he is into me :-X I was like oh ok. They are just stupid sad and lonely and crave a girlfriend. Why not go on a dating site? Lots of single women on there im sure. What, you think because you pay me for sex you have a better/closer chance at dating me. I am just pissed off writing this now so sorry if i am not making sense. they just piss me off for fuck sake. I just fucking ignore. Any client telling me how his day was IGNORED any client that says he misses me IGNORED. sigh. Had an ex regular contact me the other day how are you checking up on you blah blah blah. i was like would you like to arrange an appointment with me? the asshole fart shit responded "would you like me to do that?" dude are you fucking stupid? :FF :FF urgh now I need some rum lool! who started this thread? Hadley my drunkeness is on you this early morning. LOL. ;D
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I actually love it when they say they love me, either from passion or really mean it. I always play the game with them, I could have easily married a few clients by now but then I ease it to them that they are too old for me, or I'm just not ready for it, can we continue seeing each other I'd love to do it for free but money is so tight I've had only a couple of bookings this week (had at least a dozen but he don't know that).
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I have two/three ways of dealing with this depending on how irritated/distressed the situation has made me. Being good at our jobs and making our clients feel valued and respected during our time together shouldn't mean that we are then harassed by them ... but I guess that they just choose not to see it that way.
I have many clients of whom I am very fond of and are equally fond of me but they would never cross the boundaries of our unique relationship. It's just the odd and frustrating few that do, ultimately - the 'needy' ones....
If I'm feeling kind then I'll tell them that I've met some one and it feels 'wrong' to continue seeing each other given our close relationship.
If I'm not then I completely ignore them.... and if they just won't go away I quote the 'Protection from Harassment Act':
cps.gov.uk/legal/s_to_u/stalking_and_harassment/#a03a
I know that may sound a little extreme but I think a lot of people under estimate how incredibly stressful it is being inundated by messages from a client who 'loves you' aka completely ignores the boundaries between your work self and private life - and they need to know that it's not OK and there maybe consequences for their actions; unless they stop. To not take action is incredibly disempowering and will affect every other area of our lives.
link made non-clickable
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They are too ugly anyway so even if they wasn't a client I would still get offended. I was arguing with myself this morning saying some men just do not see themselves as ugly. that's just a fact. The majority are so ugly so why on earth would you come chat me up anyway?
I am sure most of them are in complete denial about this. There are very few men I am attracted to, but loads that I get on well with, and they constantly misinterpret friendliness for attraction. They don't understand that physically they are repulsive, but if you tell them that, as I have been forced to do on many occasions, they end up devastated. This is a fact whether they are clients or not, but clients you have to deal with on a daily basis. I find the best way is to just get the deed done, avoid getting too familiar, and move on to the next one.
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Jessica's comment about men going on dating sites got me thinking. I have a cousin who has done it all, wg's, hundreds of craigslist and other casual hookups, he was on Ashley Madison before it got hacked (he really is divorced tho who knows about the women he was sleeping with) and he was pursuing some women from his civie job.
The line really DID get blurred for him. He's honest with me (he knows I won't judge) and told me that he was on a "date" from a hook-up site and felt the urge to drop the L bomb and then realized that someone who posted an ad saying "f me in my car in an hour" wasn't looking for that.
If a guy is bouncing all over the place and searching for something (as I think is the case with him) and they forget where they are at time they can easily look for the wrong thing from the wrong person. It's quite sad watching him.
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Jessica's comment about men going on dating sites got me thinking. I have a cousin who has done it all, wg's, hundreds of craigslist and other casual hookups, he was on Ashley Madison before it got hacked (he really is divorced tho who knows about the women he was sleeping with) and he was pursuing some women from his civie job.
The line really DID get blurred for him. He's honest with me (he knows I won't judge) and told me that he was on a "date" from a hook-up site and felt the urge to drop the L bomb and then realized that someone who posted an ad saying "f me in my car in an hour" wasn't looking for that.
If a guy is bouncing all over the place and searching for something (as I think is the case with him) and they forget where they are at time they can easily look for the wrong thing from the wrong person. It's quite sad watching him.
Mandy, I found two long term boyfriends I met on craigslist casual encounters (non payed hook up -I was going through a dry spell). We met once, then again, then again and we ended up getting in a long serious relationship. This happened to me TWICE. I also have a gay friend who met his actual partner (married now and they have adopted kids) on a casual hook-up on grindr. Brook Maganti met her actual partner on a sex hook up on casual encounters section on craigslist (she confessed this on her last interview).
Love is to be found in the most unexpected places. We are all human. The fact that some horny woman wants to meet a stranger for a quick fuck in a car (because that's her fantasy) doesn't exempt her from wanting love. She may be single, she maybe not. Who is to say that two single people meeting in a slutty situation cannot find love? i did, and I know quite a lot of people who did.
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Mandy, I found two long term boyfriends I met on craigslist casual encounters (non payed hook up -I was going through a dry spell). We met once, then again, then again and we ended up getting in a long serious relationship. This happened to me TWICE. I also have a gay friend who met his actual partner (married now and they have adopted kids) on a casual hook-up on grindr. Brook Maganti met her actual partner on a sex hook up on casual encounters section on craigslist (she confessed this on her last interview).
Love is to be found in the most unexpected places. We are all human. The fact that some horny woman wants to meet a stranger for a quick fuck in a car (because that's her fantasy) doesn't exempt her from wanting love. She may be single, she maybe not. Who is to say that two single people meeting in a slutty situation cannot find love? i did, and I know quite a lot of people who did.
Me and my current partner are a result of a string of booty calls. We didn't even cuddle or hang out until after the first few months of sleeping together. >.>
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the asshole fart shit responded "would you like me to do that?" dude are you fucking stupid? :FF :FF urgh now I need some rum lool! who started this thread? Hadley my drunkeness is on you this early morning. LOL. ;D
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Ha! That's what I'm here for, to lead people into drink ;D
x
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Sorry to sound like I'm revelling in the misfortunes of others ;D but it does make me feel better to know that there's others in the same boat!
I can imagine, what Hadley said about this guy not really knowing her is typical. Clients must think we are always shaved, buffed, made up and horny. Perhaps invite him over to lounge about eating and watching tv in your pjs and tell him you've got a headache when he wants a fuck, that might change his mind!
You're so right Nia, let's see how much he loves me when he sees me sitting in bed watching X factor in my pyjamas, scratching my arse and eating Ben and Jerrys.
Methinks his ardour might melt away at that point ;D
xx
That's the difference between reality and fantasy in their eyes - they assume we don't do any of the 'normal' stuff and we look gorgeous everyday. I don't think they'd be so adoring toward us if they perceived us as the normal gals we are (actresses aside); but I suppose that's part of the fantasy x
That's right, some can't see the difference between reality and fantasy. Had one fairly regular client ask me for a phone chat, I texted back saying "Give me 10 minutes I'm just having my lunch" He replied "lunch lol" I replied "Yes even escorts need to eat you know!!"
They want 'the real girlfriend experience' yet its nothing like being a real girlfriend...If they came round my house on an evening they would see the me with no make up on, hair a right mess up in a clip or bobble, wearing tracky bottoms, my 40 something year old natural tits drooping in my vest top, unshaven legs and fluffy slippers haha! :-)
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Exactly. You want the real girfriend experience? Here, I'll give it to you:
Let me remove my make-up, my Jimmy Choos, put my hair up in a silly bun and change into my cheap snoopy Primark jogging suit. Now go and throw out the trash and put down that toilet lid down for heaven sake.
;D
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Exactly. You want the real girfriend experience? Here, I'll give it to you:
Let me remove my make-up, my Jimmy Choos, put my hair up in a silly bun and change into my cheap snoopy Primark jogging suit. Now go and throw out the trash and put down that toilet lid down for heaven sake.
;D
And lets never have sex ;D
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Exactly. You want the real girfriend experience? Here, I'll give it to you:
Let me remove my make-up, my Jimmy Choos, put my hair up in a silly bun and change into my cheap snoopy Primark jogging suit. Now go and throw out the trash and put down that toilet lid down for heaven sake.
;D
And lets never have sex ;D
Exactly this. I have a regular who books me for overnights sometimes and he told me it's ok to say if I'm not in the mood for sex. What planet is he living on exactly???
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Exactly. You want the real girfriend experience? Here, I'll give it to you:
Let me remove my make-up, my Jimmy Choos, put my hair up in a silly bun and change into my cheap snoopy Primark jogging suit. Now go and throw out the trash and put down that toilet lid down for heaven sake.
;D
And lets never have sex ;D
Exactly this. I have a regular who books me for overnights sometimes and he told me it's ok to say if I'm not in the mood for sex. What planet is he living on exactly???
Planet married :o x
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Lois, you comments make me laugh out loud more often than is decent, just thought I'd let you know ;D
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Lois, you comments make me laugh out loud more often than is decent, just thought I'd let you know ;D
;D I've got no filter on here - I say exactly what comes into my head ::) x
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It's really difficult when offering the GFE to maintain the line of boundaries. One client of mine is a nice guy but he really irritated me this afternoon when he sent me a text saying here's another personal question ... 'Do **** make you come? Sorry, lol, Just want to know all about you, lol.'
Really??? :FF Why not bring Michael Aspel back then from 'This is Your Life' ???
The 'person' he knows is not me. Really annoys me. How dare they think that just because they pay they have a right to know every single little detail about you!!! >:( >:( >:(
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It's really difficult when offering the GFE to maintain the line of boundaries. One client of mine is a nice guy but he really irritated me this afternoon when he sent me a text saying here's another personal question ... 'Do **** make you come? Sorry, lol, Just want to know all about you, lol.'
Really??? :FF Why not bring Michael Aspel back then from 'This is Your Life' ???
The 'person' he knows is not me. Really annoys me. How dare they think that just because they pay they have a right to know every single little detail about you!!! >:( >:( >:(
I'm guessing he's written lol in a crap attempt to pretend he's just joking - which in this case clearly translates to 'lying about laughing' - nosey twat! :FF
Fuck me; imagine all the clients that would come out for us in a 'this is your life' type scenario - and here is facelicker from x, piss smelling, bent walnut whip resembling dick from x, stalker wanker from x and 'you haven't seen him for years, but here's the knobhead you stopped seeing because he was a nosey bastard who misunderstood the hooker/client boundaries'. Escort, this is your fucking life ;D ;D ;D
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It's really difficult when offering the GFE to maintain the line of boundaries. One client of mine is a nice guy but he really irritated me this afternoon when he sent me a text saying here's another personal question ... 'Do **** make you come? Sorry, lol, Just want to know all about you, lol.'
Really??? :FF Why not bring Michael Aspel back then from 'This is Your Life' ???
The 'person' he knows is not me. Really annoys me. How dare they think that just because they pay they have a right to know every single little detail about you!!! >:( >:( >:(
I'm guessing he's written lol in a crap attempt to pretend he's just joking - which in this case clearly translates to 'lying about laughing' - nosey twat! :FF
Fuck me; imagine all the clients that would come out for us in a 'this is your life' type scenario - and here is facelicker from x, piss smelling, bent walnut whip resembling dick from x, stalker wanker from x and 'you haven't seen him for years, but here's the knobhead you stopped seeing because he was a nosey bastard who misunderstood the hooker/client boundaries'. Escort, this is your fucking life ;D ;D ;D
Exactly! ;D I'm all for chatting and being sociable, but would he ask someone that on a second date? Maybe he would ... that's just one of the plethora of reasons I don't date anymore! ::)
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Oh Gawd, just had another message off the nosey twat complaining of why I haven't left him feedback on AW. I said - Well, seeing as you booked me via my website, I didn't even know you had an AW account. And secondly, you need to send a booking request first before any reviews can be written.
Did he do that?
Noooo ::) ::) ::)
Give me strength!
If these morons had half a brain cell they'd be dangerous. And I'm definitely not seeing him again. What a f**cking idiot! :FF :FF :FF
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Yes all of this does happen, all to be negotiated. I no longer take the 'why haven't you left AW feedback?' question personally. I can't do anything about it. I do however write a line about feedback requiring form submission on my AW profile.
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Yes all of this does happen, all to be negotiated. I no longer take the 'why haven't you left AW feedback?' question personally. I can't do anything about it. I do however write a line about feedback requiring form submission on my AW profile.
Mirror, that's a good idea, thanks. Everything else needs to be spelled out in most cases so why not this ;)
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Luckily, I am an owned sub, so whenever I get the '...can we go out as friends?' I let them know that they would need to ask my Masters permission. This soon stops them. It is on my AW profile that I'm owned as I also offer some BDSM services. It protects me from these enamored guys that want to f*** me for free
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Luckily, I am an owned sub, so whenever I get the '...can we go out as friends?' I let them know that they would need to ask my Masters permission. This soon stops them. It is on my AW profile that I'm owned as I also offer some BDSM services. It protects me from these enamored guys that want to f*** me for free
Brilliant! I bet none of them have asked 'Master' lol! ;-)
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Exactly. You want the real girfriend experience? Here, I'll give it to you:
Let me remove my make-up, my Jimmy Choos, put my hair up in a silly bun and change into my cheap snoopy Primark jogging suit. Now go and throw out the trash and put down that toilet lid down for heaven sake.
;D
When clients insist they want the real girlfriend experience, or say they are in love with me and so want to know all of me, I am always so tempted to wear my REAL bra and pants.
Not the sexy lingerie I always wear for clients and that they are expecting.... Ooooooh no. My actual underwear, that I actually wear all the rest of the time, outside bookings.
Love me, love my over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder greying M&S bra, and my granny pants.
This is all ;D
xx
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Today I saw a reg who last time I saw him said the L word, how he wanted to take me out etc, which I parried.
So was slightly worried about seeing him again today. After around 10 minutes he asked 'do all your clients fall in love with you'. Again I parried saying 'no one does'.
In the truest sense of the word I meant that, in that these guys are simply falling in lust with a sexy image you present.
I was rather more brisk than normal in the hope the message would get thro. I also happen to think its really unfair of clients to do this. The vast majority know full well that this is not part of the deal.
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Hey girlies -
So, I've literally read all of the posts on this thread - cause it's been so interesting! And, frankly, amusing in SO many ways! NiaHope, Hadley, Ana30 and Lois01827 - you guys cracked me UP!! Hahaha :D
Background - I've just started working as an escort. And I feel I've clued myself up pretty well, through this site and others. But, of course, we all meet different kinds of clients with different needs, so I'm not quite sure yet what's "normal"... And I have a client who I'm sure will book me again. But he's told me he "likes" me - yet, I have a feeling it's heading into a more serious direction (from his side, obviously). Thing is, I really DID enjoy my time with him, and he's had many good reviews on AW, so he is not inexperienced with escorts and he really didn't come across as needy. So not really sure how to handle it?
HappyWhore made a point that resonated with me - I do want to make my clients feel special (as part of the sales gimmick), but how far do you take it? You made 2 good points, HappyWhore, I'm interested to know what your 3rd option is? (1: I've met someone, so can't get too close; 2: Check out Protection from Harassment Act).
Katrina, I liked your advice too! Specifically, using the phrase "'I'm quite fond of you too, but lets just enjoy our time together and not spoil things'. That's not being dishonest but not leading him on either :-)" Does that work well?? ;D
At the end of the day, we are just doing a job (which I told him), and the persona is tailored to suit the client for a specific reason (i.e. to get work again!) And I really enjoy the acting bits, as well as the authentic bits...
Katrina, how often do clients ask you if they could be your "baby/lover/rock"?! Is this something I'll have to get used to...?
Finally (and I apologise for the long post, really wanted to say so much to all of you!), I only date women (i.e. get romantically involved with women) in my civvie life - could this be a line I could use with male clients? Or would that only put me further into the fire...? :FF
I mean, I have civvie male friends that I can just be myself with if I'm looking for more of an authentic connection - does anyone else have the same?
Emme x
P.S. Loved the rants, ladies! I've never seen so many head-banging-wall posts in one thread! Hahahaha. :D
P.P.S. Nova, do you get booked for overnights without any sex??!!
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Finally (and I apologise for the long post, really wanted to say so much to all of you!), I only date women (i.e. get romantically involved with women) in my civvie life - could this be a line I could use with male clients? Or would that only put me further into the fire...? :FF
Wouldn't recommend that - while not all clients harbor the impression that you are genuinely into them, learning that you aren't even in the right sexual orientation to 'appreciate' them would probably put a lot of people off.
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I have a client who I'm sure will book me again. But he's told me he "likes" me - yet, I have a feeling it's heading into a more serious direction (from his side, obviously). Thing is, I really DID enjoy my time with him, and he's had many good reviews on AW, so he is not inexperienced with escorts and he really didn't come across as needy. So not really sure how to handle it?
Your client said he likes you but didn't come across as needy and you enjoyed working with him. Sounds pretty ideal to me! What is there that you need to handle?
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P.P.S. Nova, do you get booked for overnights without any sex??!!
No of course not! The client I referred to always wants sex. He just likes to imagine that I want sex with him as much as he wants sex with me. He doesn't like to think that I might be having sex with him and not enjoying it. I don't think he understands the nature of the relationship we have.
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Hahahaha! Thanks, Lynx, I hadn't even considered that! ;)
As for the client, Nova... Well, I like to be prepared. :) That's the kind of person I am (a little OTT to be honest!). lol. And although I haven't heard the "I love you" thing yet from him, or any other client, I'm gonna trust my gut feeling when it tells me I might hear it soon...
So, I guess I'm trying to find out 2 things: 1) What's the best way to manage/treat a client who you think is falling in love with you (I mean, are there good techniques/phrases to use to try and prevent it)? And 2) What is the best thing to do after a client HAS actually told you he loves you?
I think the posts on this thread have been brilliant in terms of discussing ways to deal with clients AFTER they fall in love with you, but what can you do to prevent it....?
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For me personally I learnt to look out for red flags. These can come in many forms: for example being clingy, needy, being OTT. Needing constant reassurance, constantly complimenting you. Trying to cross any kind of boundary.
That's just a few but basically I listen out for them and try and head head them off before they reach the point of saying I love you.
Then depending on the situation and the person I try a few different ways: using humor, ignoring them - and or diverting them and changing the subject.
Above all I never taken seriously! If I feel the need I will just be honest with them and just say I do not mix my personal life and my business life.
Also you must remember that for some of these guys it's a way in the end of getting freebies.
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Thanks for that, Jez! I'm sure I'll learn soon enough what works best to head them off. And as the other girls said, there's no way you can take them seriously, because they never get to truly know us or our lives - so they just fall for the fantasy.
And yeah, I'm sure freebies are one of the main reasons they say it in the first place!
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For me personally I learnt to look out for red flags. These can come in many forms: for example being clingy, needy, being OTT. Needing constant reassurance, constantly complimenting you. Trying to cross any kind of boundary.
That's just a few but basically I listen out for them and try and head head them off before they reach the point of saying I love you.
Then depending on the situation and the person I try a few different ways: using humor, ignoring them - and or diverting them and changing the subject.
Above all I never taken seriously! If I feel the need I will just be honest with them and just say I do not mix my personal life and my business life.
Also you must remember that for some of these guys it's a way in the end of getting freebies.
I have had a few of these over the years and sometimes it borders on obsession. I find it not just uncomfortable but frightening.
They have a big void in their lives and think you can fill it. Being nice to them and being intimate with them, they stupidly think that "she must be in love with me" They forget it is a commercial transaction at the end of the day.
Definitely agree with clingy, needy, being OTT, needing constant reassurance and compliments. I feel these guys definitely all have low self esteem and have nothing much else in their lives.
The only solution, is just basically to ignore ALL communication and they will eventually go away.
This job is sometimes not that simple. There are always red flags for this and they just get worse if you don't put a stop to it.
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Katrina, how often do clients ask you if they could be your "baby/lover/rock"?! Is this something I'll have to get used to...?
Thankfully not very often nowadays as I'm a lot more aware and realise what they're up to quicker than when I first started :-) I think when they become too regular (every week or something like that, or even several times a week) that's when it can become a problem. I had one young guy visiting me very regular, started trying to 'pry' into my private life, asking me to 'get rid of' my (then) boyfriend and have him instead!!! calling/texting me several times a day, he once rung me 12 times on a Sunday (I never answered) Then I did answer and told him that its best we don't see each other again as hes becoming obsessed, he tantrummed, cried, sent threatening texts and voicemails in the middle of the night. When I arranged to see him one last time to explain the situation he was all sorry, unfortunately I think he had some sort of ADHD but wasn't my problem. He eventually got the message and left me alone, got himself a girlfriend so all ended well. Another one (too long a story) became emotionally involved after he happened to be with me when I received some very bad news about a very close relative. He became obsessed with being my 'rock' and tried his hardest to get me to 'open up' to him...I began to hate him as I felt he was like a leach sucking on an open wound. It ended in tears (his) So after these type of 'episodes' I decided to be a lot more closed with clients.
The moral of the story really is to never reveal too much to clients, keep them at arms length and make it clear that although its possible to be 'fond of' them, keep a professional distance always. :-)
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I see a guy who said he knows 'you are not an escort in a conventional sense' and wishes I could be his.
Heaven alone knows what he means by the 'conventional' bollocks and I think I need to nip this in the bud.
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Hmmm I had a few "I love you"
They were mostly the "sex" I love you's
A man will say/do anything when you're giving him a decent oral or decent sex. Each time I had that I love you I just replied jokingly "darling right now you would even marry me". It tends to wake them up immediately:)
Which leads me to this. I saw an awesome adorable great regular yesterday and while I was there employing myself to give him best oral ever I heard "fuck, let's get married!" To which I replied "darling, you ARE married" We spent half the booking joking about the sex marriage thing:)) And I will gladly see him again, he's too much fun to refuse.
I really think that most men will just say anything during sex or to get sex and I had the same happen in my personal life. This whole "I love you" thing does not always mean to them what it means to us maybe.
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It'll be rather interesting over the Christmas period as to how much some lonely guys may try and push the feelings/attachment thing..... Loneliest time of the year for some; however, 'Good will to all men' does not translate to 'Extended willy suck for lonely men' ::)
This is quite true. Escort or just a single woman the month of December brings out all those jerks who suddenly want a girlfriend (translate: someone to cling on to during the Christmas period).
And I find this much more dangerous in our line of work. I almost fell for it this year lol. A hot smart young guy booked me in November. Then emailed in December to ask me out, he lives (or maybe not) 5 min walk from mine so I said ok coffee why not.
So we met and he started this whole charm strategy and this was much more manipulative than a client who would just say "I love you". Because this was about him listening to me, showing interest, sending lovely cute text. I told him if he wants free sex no bloody way and of course "he had no problem with it he would wait until we get to know each other and I trust him".
We had 2 dates going for walks, holding hands and kissing, him showing me the stars. Literally:))))
Thank god I have my flatmate who's much more down to earth because I fell for his act and a couple of weeks later I was literally calling him my boyfriend. Immediately he wanted to "come over". My flatmate said no f*** way after all I don't know the guy and this is getting out of control.
I told him we must wait a bit longer like he said.
And this was when he disappeared.
I find this strategy much more disgusting and manipulative and perverse. If a client says "I love you" I don't think you must say it back and some clients can remain clients. But like I'm describing here there are those who will try to play mind games and manipulate our emotions just so that they can get laid for free and that's just abuse.