Author Topic: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements (Read 135175 times)

cassie · « **Reply #60 on:** 04 July 2010, 11:23:39 pm »

Right Tiffani, bear with me, because this will take a bit of thought,

Quote from: Miss Jameson on 03 July 2010, 02:57:51 am

Hey sweetheart, these sound like two conflicting statements. I kinda think I know where you're coming from, so clarify me if I'm wrong:

I don?t mean it to be conflicting

Quote from: Miss Jameson on 03 July 2010, 02:57:51 am

Quote from: cassie on 03 July 2010, 12:23:28 am
I am happy to be in a non monogamous relationship, as long as this is what we have both agreed on and are open and honest about out other dalliances. I don?t mean giving each other a blow by blow account or flaunting it in the others face, but just having the courteousy to say that we have met or are meeting another person and have had or may have sex with them.

If you're in a civvie relationship, a nonmonogamous relationship can be the love of your life, cause it's one where you can be free to be human, make mistakes, and not be in danger of the dramatic.

Yes, that?s what I mean.

Quote from: Miss Jameson on 03 July 2010, 02:57:51 am

Quote from: cassie on 03 July 2010, 12:23:28 am
To me honesty in a relationship is the most important thing and my 'partner' screwing around behind my back would really upset me, which apart from my age means SD is out of the question.

This is where it get's tricky for me: The 'honesty in relationship' and SD situation is two different things: unless you're already in a relationship. I can understand how having a SD when you're in a committed relationship WHILE you're a working girl would be redundant and a waste of energy. I wouldn't want one either LOL! Or somebody would have to go.

Generally I agree with what you are saying. Honesty in a civvie and committed relationship is a must for me, where as I think a degree of dishonesty would be necessary in a SD relationship, for instance I would not feel it necessary to tell a SD that I was a working prossie or if I had a partner. Though I also agree that it would be too much hard work juggling a committed relationship and a SD.

Quote from: Miss Jameson on 03 July 2010, 02:57:51 am

As far as your age is concerned, in my opinion, I'm a big believer in living your life first, being allowed to mature between the ages of 18-25 before investing in anyone emotionally until you've 'made your rounds in life' so to speak. But if you're lucky enough to find that person that makes you happy, accepts the ever-changing you just the way you are during this period in your life, you should consider yourself very lucky. At my age, I don't have time to waste on emotionally dead-beat men. If you don't multifunction i.e. sugardaddy-boyfriend or generous anonymous lover, it's time to move on!

But for those ladies between the ages of 18 and 25 , and I'm pretty sure the other old birds would agree with me, you're at a time in your life where men prey on you because of your naivety, because you think you know everything right now. I don't care what you've been through, or what you've pulled yourself through, you are not the woman you will be in 10 years. And I'm sure I'm not the lady that I'll be in 10 years. In getting into a SD relationship, and in this business, you have to be strong, cause it's easy to let these days make who you are 10 years from now a bitter shell of a woman. In asking a question like this one and getting great advice from the great ladies on this board, I hope it makes a positive difference in your lives and experiences

The reason I mention my age getting in the way of me having a SD is because I am too old for it, lol, I?m older than you Tiffani.
But in my younger years I would have been too vulnerable to do cope with that sort of relationship and would have been open to being exploited. Now that I am more experience and have given up on finding ?the one? I think I?d be ok with being a mistress, as long as my benefactor lived abroad and would only visit a couple of times a month and not care what I got up to when he was not around.

Quote from: Lucy Chambers on 03 July 2010, 08:39:22 pm

Hi Tiffany

Excellent point. However, for me the emotional price of a relationship cannot be priced or valued. I think the problem I have with this is that to put a price on something therefore makes it..available. I am a escort, I price per hour. I am also a fun loving, sensual, sex loving princess. This has no fee, as it is mine to share as I see fit. This is where I find the difference between Lucy and me. There has to be a element of truth in my life, I do not judge, I merely comment.

I partly agree here, one can?t put a value on the emotional aspect of a relationship, but there is also a financial aspect to a civvie relationship, if you are committed you automatically share the cost of things, buy each other gifts, etc. The difference is that there isn?t a fixed rate and normally not a demand for payment per service. As one client said it?s cheaper visiting a prossie regularly that having a wife.

Blue · « **Reply #61 on:** 05 August 2010, 03:04:14 pm »

How do you word a profile to basically sounds like money/gifts in exchange for sex but without saying that.?

HunnyBun · « **Reply #62 on:** 21 December 2010, 12:33:48 pm »

Hi,

So I think I've got myself a sugar daddy (met off SeekingArrangement), hes asked if he can pay me per date rather than a monthly allowance as he thinks its 'easier'. However, I thought the whole point of having a sugar daddy was that they were meant to pay you monthly rather than per date (which seems closer to escorting)?

He's also told me that 'when I feel comfotable' he will need my bank details which I'm uncomfortable about -as I gave him a fake name etc. However, he's warned me there will be times when he has to cancel in future, and so I'm worried I'm going to get a bit screwed over.

Any thoughts?

EmilyJones · « **Reply #63 on:** 21 December 2010, 01:03:51 pm »

It sounds to me like your gut is giving you plenty of warnings; the impression I get is that you're feeling cautious about this man, and I am in complete agreement.

There's no reason you can't play it by ear and see how it goes, but you'll need to manage the situation with lots of care and attention to the details (and attention to your gut instincts). Of course you can try a date or two and see what you think in person, see if he really does pay you and treat you with respect (but without any creepy obsessiveness). Just bear in mind all the caution that you'd have were you to meet a new client in a strange place: Cash BEFORE any sex, always, don't be alone with him without letting someone know where you're going (i.e. if he says his money is upstairs in the hotel, don't just dash up there to "find it" with him without telling him you need to call your security and let them know first). All that usual safety stuff applies - but if you're doing all that, there's no reason a potentially great sugar-daddy relationship couldn't still blossom, it would just require him to abide by your boundaries and rules.

And trust me, the fastest way to find out if a man is "secretly" a total f*cking nutcase is to start implementing boundaries and rules. If he doesn't understand why he can't call you 100 times at 4am, you know he's a bit insane. If he doesn't understand why you won't just drop your knickers when he waves cash at you, then he clearly doesn't think much of you. If he doesn't understand why you might not tell him your real name, then he just doesn't give a damn about your safety (or worse, thinks his curiosity is more important than you not getting stalked). And so on, etc etc. I think you'll be fine playing this situation by ear cos it's obvious that you've thought a lot about potential negative consequences as well as potential benefits, and so you just need to keep weighing it up sensibly like that.

HunnyBun · « **Reply #64 on:** 21 December 2010, 01:17:21 pm »

Thanks for the advice Emily!

So this is what I'm thinking..do you think its ok to get paid for the first date alone, and then say that on the second date I would like the rest of the months money?

As I'm not sure if hes genuinely worried I may do a runner with his money if he paid me for the full month on our first date..

So meeting up with him for a second date would give him a little reassurance that I weasnt going to be doing a runner no?

I'm just sensing that hes going to have too much control if its 'per' date as I'm at his beck & call.

And if hes not willing to pay the full monthly amount on our second date, then he probably cant actually afford it anyway?

EmilyJones · « **Reply #65 on:** 21 December 2010, 01:30:21 pm »

I think, in all honesty, that a genuine sugar-daddy relationship takes time to build. What would the problem be with being paid per date to begin with? That way, one or both of you can at least easily and without guilt cancel the relationship at any point, should you discover that you don't get along.

He sounds very cautious but if some young lad came up to me and said I should give him a grand now for sex later, well, I can't say I'd want it either way

but you know what I mean. I'd never pay for my haircuts in a yearly lump sum! What if I wanted to try a different salon? Or the hairdresser turned out to be totally mad and disappeared to Bermuda?

I think you could benefit from the pay-per-date system for these reasons, too. He might turn out to be completely insane and the last thing you want is him accusing you of robbing him if he doesn't think you're reciprocating enough in return for him paying a full monthly fee.

If you don't want to be at his beck and call, why would you accept a monthly fee from him in the first place? This is where the stuff about boundaries that I wrote in the above post would come in; you'll need to both set rules in place that you are both happy with, and then allow mutual friendship and trust to (hopefully) develop naturally.

As for him not being able to afford it... well, that's another reason for taking it slow, right? The best thing about escorting is that it's like having dozens of sugar-daddies and if one gets poor, I wave him a sorrowful goodbye (and point him towards a good parlour, if he asks!). This is the only way not to be at the beck and call of any individual man, unless you manage to get yourself that magical unicorn of a bloke - i.e. he wants to pay you five grand a month and isn't bothered if you only answer one of his phonecalls a year!

naughtyjas · « **Reply #66 on:** 21 December 2010, 01:47:12 pm »

If he wants to pay you per date then he is no different to a regular client and I would treat him like one.

If he want to be a sugar daddy then surely he needs to play by the rules as well? Maybe he just wants the extras of being in a relationship (phone calls, texts, e-mails etc) but at the price and convenience of being with an escort. In my opinion that is not fair on you. If wants to pay you like he would pay an escort then he needs to abide by your escorting rules.

If he wants to be a sugar daddy then he needs to act like one. I can understand his warriness/suspicion, there are just as many women out there who 'pull a fast one' as there are men. I think you should explain your side of things to him and take it from there. You could always go a few pay as you go dates, but make sure he knows your boundaries.

Or maybe he is just someone who 'does not have to pay for it and is most definately not the type of person who would pay an escort'

. So he thinks that by being a sugar daddy he is not really paying for sex

If that's the case then I think that he will go on one or maybe two dates and you'll never hear from him again.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Jas x

HunnyBun · « **Reply #67 on:** 22 December 2010, 12:56:34 am »

Ok, so I have another question. As I mentioned I?ve signed up to one of the sugar daddy websites and a guy has contacted me offering to take me shopping.. Now I happen to be a girl with expensive taste and was wandering what is acceptable amount to spend. E.g. should I spend the equivalent of what I would usually charge for 3hrs of my time?

This is part of his message:

'I am in London next week with a friend - 27th and 28th. Would you be available for dinner i wonder? Staying at (hotel name)... next week's trip with my friend Steve is all about good food, drink, shopping and fun...so if you can handle that - would love to hear from you!'

Does this sound reasonable to you? The guy doesn?t know I escort..

Trafford · « **Reply #68 on:** 22 December 2010, 08:25:30 am »

Quote from: HunnyBun on 22 December 2010, 12:56:34 am

Ok, so I have another question. As I mentioned I?ve signed up to one of the sugar daddy websites and a guy has contacted me offering to take me shopping.. Now I happen to be a girl with expensive taste and was wandering what is acceptable amount to spend. E.g. should I spend the equivalent of what I would usually charge for 3hrs of my time?

This is part of his message:

'I am in London next week with a friend - 27th and 28th. Would you be available for dinner i wonder? Staying at (hotel name)... next week's trip with my friend Steve is all about good food, drink, shopping and fun...so if you can handle that - would love to hear from you!'

Does this sound reasonable to you? The guy doesn?t know I escort..

Are you happy to have sex with him and his mate Steve in a hotel room when you have met neither before??

EmilyJones · « **Reply #69 on:** 22 December 2010, 09:28:58 am »

Quote from: HunnyBun on 22 December 2010, 12:56:34 am

This is part of his message:

'I am in London next week with a friend - 27th and 28th. Would you be available for dinner i wonder? Staying at (hotel name)... next week's trip with my friend Steve is all about good food, drink, shopping and fun...so if you can handle that - would love to hear from you!'

"If you can handle that"?

"next week's trip... is all about... fun"?

He sounds like a fantasist and a loser. I expect that if you meet up with him and, er, Steve, you'll just end up being pressured by two idiots to go and shag them both for free. Or in exchange for a couple of drinks, if you're lucky.

This thread reminds me of why escorting is approx 1000 times better than sugar-daddy-seeking; you can dismiss all these ridiculous idiots and go straight for the, "Hello, my name is Bob and here is ?200 for you" lovely clients.

Don't forget the warnings that have been posted on this very site about creeps and abusers who use sugar daddy sites to find a huge pool of women who are clearly a bit desperate for quick'n'easy cash but who are, for whatever reason, not going properly pro (with associated set rates + security measures). I've heard stories of men renting flash cars to "take [you] out on a big night on the town" only to end up pressurising the woman into sex (in a cheap hotel) and getting the hell out of there when she starts asking for that ?1000 he mentioned earlier. They give fake names and addresses and probably enjoy themselves royally, messing women around and paying nothing for it.

It's not that I don't think a wise woman can't use a sugar daddy to get a lot of good things. But... if there were 100,000 wealthy chaps waiting out there to pepper us with ?50 notes, don't you think we'd all have a couple of them on hand?

It's much more common that even a full-time working girl will only have one super-generous and rich client at a time; even full-time sugar babies rarely find it possible to maintain a continuous and beneficial relationship with a rich man without both parties wondering if they're getting screwed over.

I recommend waiting til you get a better response from the sites, from someone who sounds sane, serious and sensible, and then take it from there. Probably don't meet anyone who's bringing along his mate Steve.

css3456 · « **Reply #70 on:** 19 February 2011, 11:48:20 pm »

Feeling a bit sad because I met up with an older man recently who was very interesting and we had a great time. I thought it might be my first experience of sugar daddying. Until he started going off about hookers and how he would never pay for it and how I was such a nice girl. And how he had been suckered in by someone who then suggested that he help her with her bills. Ugh.

It was kind of disappointing because I was hoping it might turn into something. How do you go about getting a real sugar daddy?

amy · « **Reply #71 on:** 20 February 2011, 12:04:45 am »

Hi Css

There are a few threads on the subject on the forum already - this is the longest, I think but if you use the Search box there are others. Since the idea is about as far away from honest whoring as it's possible to get, they ought to mostly be here in Off-topic.

Lorelei · « **Reply #72 on:** 20 February 2011, 08:35:16 am »

I've been on Seeking Arrangement for about three weeks now, but I don't seem to be getting anywhere with any of the correspondents. Most of them seem somewhat late and not very interested in replying. My reply to one of them that "I prefer to be who I am rather than who others want me to be" didn't help much either probably - I'm just a newbie myself looking to start out in the industry.

Friday · « **Reply #73 on:** 20 February 2011, 01:57:00 pm »

I signed up for fun lol Do these men reall exist? surely its just "GFE" at the end of the day lol

LouLou37 · « **Reply #74 on:** 20 February 2011, 05:51:44 pm »

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements (Read 135175 times)

cassie

Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements

Blue

Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements

HunnyBun

Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements

EmilyJones

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HunnyBun

Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements

EmilyJones

Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements

naughtyjas

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HunnyBun

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Trafford

Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements

EmilyJones

Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements

css3456

Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements

amy

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Lorelei

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Friday

Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements

LouLou37

Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements