Author Topic: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements (Read 135174 times)

Miss Jameson · « **Reply #45 on:** 28 June 2010, 09:53:24 pm »

Quote from: Miss Mary on 28 June 2010, 09:11:16 pm

Violette and Tiff (welcome, btw), your words are like gold. I'm about ready to string up my heels and say f the whole SD situation. Today had been extremely disheartening and I was ready to take a frying pan up a man's head today. I haven't dabbled in dating sites but I wonder truly how much, they would help me and my situation. I agree with you ladies that you should never come off too needy. but what if you are needy? Lol? then what? Fake til you make it?

I mean I'm not exactly needy-- no. But I want some things. That cannot be denied. Today has made me so weak, and the idea of gameplaying makes me nauseous. But at the end of the day I still want the gifts and cash. I smell a serious dilemma..... I need some kind words.

Damn right, fake it til you make it! Just don't hurt anybody with that frying pan!

And thank you for your welcome. With some guys, it's a waiting game. With MOST of them, it's a total game. Some guys will take you to every fine restaurant in town before he even mentions any sort of thing. Some guys play the game just to see if you'll hang around after he's shown himself to be mentally unstable or in some way undesirable. Try your best to take care of yourself in the process, and only take a SD date if you have the time around escorting.

I don't know, Violette. I've had some of the worst luck with the married ones. I absolutely dread getting another woman's 'problem child'. I've only had two married men that absolutely got the concept, mainly because they were emotionally mature enough to understand that they loved their wives, but their libido and bank accounts afford them the luxury of more than one woman. The rest of my friends have been single, and being financially stable helps with weeding through the socially awkward ones that are in essence looking for a financially dependent puppy.

You have to be selective AND patient in this process as well. I mean like escorting selective. Don't discriminate on the physical characteristics, but more on personality and emotional stability. You notice the slightest hint that he needs you to feel better about himself, you're lower than he is, I don't care what he offers, don't do it. I know that some guys even do it as an act, just to see if you'll deal with anything for the money, so being too understanding will come off as being desperate. Never be afraid to be selective. All money isn't good money, as my mom would say.

Best of luck to you.

Miss Mary · « **Reply #46 on:** 28 June 2010, 10:04:17 pm »

i agree with you 1000% Tiffani on being discriminating, mentally/emotionally, i feel like I have my weirdo radar on 24/7. I have yet to really swim the sugardaddy dating site seas yet...but alot of you have mention Seeking Arrangement...are there any other people have had good luck with? I'm feeling knackered from all the ups and downs, not even sure if I'd like to try again.

Jewel · « **Reply #47 on:** 29 June 2010, 01:25:29 am »

Hello again, everyone, I haven't been around for a while - I had a life

and now I'm back and almost late for this beautiful thread!
I've been a kept woman for a year in London and although I'd agree with most here saying that having a SD is a time consuming business, I'd also say that it can work for you if you know what you want. To explain - it was my last year at the Uni, all my time was divided between the Uni, the library and the clinic, I didn't always get to sleep, forget work. So I gave an ad in a newspaper (an alluring young lady is looking for an affluent and lavish older gentleman for a mutually beneficial long-term relationship, exactly these words, will never forget them) and 3 days later (no kidding) I had what I wanted. It was a comfortable arrangement, a monthly allowance to cover my rent, bills, etc, and some shopping trips on the side so I could give all my attention to studies and not worry about bills. And since he encouraged my studies, I would always show up with my papers and laptop and work till silly hours and he would be happy just looking at me. There wasn't much going into my savings account but at that time it wasn't important, I needed to have the basics covered regularly.
A year after this relationship ended, I tried some SD site. As Tiffani here said - never let a man think you need him. This has always been my motto. If he sees you need him - you'll have to play by his rules. It's only when he knows that you couldn't care less when he starts needing you and then you can lay out your rules. And it's with this attitude that I met a few nice well-off men through that site, and, as someone suggested here on the thread (sorry, don't remember who now) I thought that since we all know the rules of the game, I'll let them come to me with what they have to offer. But after a few dates and presents, there were no offers so I didn't persue them. But playing like I didn't need them helped me realise that I DIDN'T need them and I left the site knowing it was time well wasted.
If you go on with your hunt for long enough, you are bound to find someone. The trouble with English blokes is that they are extra cautious. They are not going to pay you for a month only to have you gone 3 days later.
So if you have time to spare, do give it a go, even if only for "been there, done it" tick. You can end it anytime you're not happy, remember? If they are whiny/ needy, you can go and look for others. Just don't expect to be paid by the hour. And don't expect it to be easy - no relationship is, especially if money is involved.

Violette · « **Reply #48 on:** 29 June 2010, 08:33:16 am »

My general approach is quite goal oriented. Acquiring an SD is as all who know, a rather time consuming business. To be honest, if I just wanted an SD for the nicer things in life, I wouldn't really bother. Too much hassle for the odd designer bag or outfit. I tend to acquire an SD for larger projects, such as support for returning back to school, payment of the little ones school fees, really important things. Now because I looking at it from the stand point of a project, I apply the principles of project management to the exercise. So, I manage the SD relationship. I will create a project outline for the SD relationship I am embarking upon. I know this sounds so heartless, but it does help to keep the focus of what the original project is all about. This does take a great deal of dis association from the possible emotional issues that can arise, but if you are managing a project, you do of course have to factor in for this. As with all long term projects, there needs to be constant reassessment to determine if the original purpose of the project is being met; if the terms and conditions are being adhered to. You need to do this after ever meeting, keep a diary if necessary.

Now I know this is a rather clinical approach to take when dealing with interpersonal relationships, but let's be honest it is a business arrangement, and needs to be handled as such.

Now ask yourself, are you getting what you need from this person at this time in your life? If the answer is yes, then learning new coping factors to manage the situation may be necessary, if the answer is no? To what percentage is it no? Is it a total loss at 100%, or is there still some redeeming elements available for salvaging? Also, some hard core self assessment may be called for. Start with where you are now, and work from there.

xx Violette

Miss Mary · « **Reply #49 on:** 29 June 2010, 01:14:29 pm »

Professor Violette, I agree. My motive is a large goal(s), one being a shiny new piece of swag with a steering wheel, heat, AC, 4 tires, and hopefully a blue and white checkered emblem emblazoned on the front. As well some investment money for a company I'm trying to start. Oh and my return to school as well.

(Too ambitious for my own good.) I am quite the planner, so your suggestion is one that falls right up my alley. For the acquisition of the previous mentioned items I'm willing to do the time. Unless life throws me another bone.

Violette you really should think about creating some sort of Whoring for Dummies book or trivia set, I'd do the press and marketing of course!!!

SnakeLady · « **Reply #50 on:** 02 July 2010, 02:26:07 pm »

Wow, I'm really pleased this thread has taken off again with so many experienced ladies contributing. Thanks for that! There are so many things which confuse me about SD relationships, so here are a few questions.

Quote from: Miss Jameson on 26 June 2010, 04:39:50 am

Those who really know the deal and know they don't have the time for a LTR will anyway (your profile should say what you're open to, whether that's a LTR or NSA friendship.).

I take it LTR stands for a Long Term Relationship. But what does NSA friendship mean?

Quote

Honestly anything you gain from a Sugardaddy relationship is meant to help your life, not to stop your life. I would not stop being an escort at all for a man unless you were about to be married. Even then it should be a gateway to following your dreams of making money in other ways.

This is what confuses me. Reading various posts it seems that as a Sugar Babe you wouldn't mention/admit to being an escort alongside your SD relationship/s. But how would that secrecy not get in the way of leading your life? Apart from the burden of keeping secrets from a man whom you periodically see a lot more of, surely there must be a conflict if he expects to see you when you already planned your tour/bookings with other clients?

And when some of you mention marriage I presume you mean marrying for money, or am I wrong? Because if Sugar Daddies are only after a bit of fun and not a serious relationship, then how comes some of them want to marry their babes?

I'm not pointing fingers here. It's just that I don't get monogamy best of times* so find it difficult to understand the whole leap from "this relationship is not serious cause I'm with someone else (so it's OK to keep secrets then)" to "oh wait, I'm single again so now I love you very much, let's get married despite all secrets we've been keeping from each other" mentality.

~ SnakeLady

*I simply capitalize on it, since so many men wish to pretend being monogamous.

Miss Jameson · « **Reply #51 on:** 02 July 2010, 04:10:47 pm »

Quote from: SnakeLady on 02 July 2010, 02:26:07 pm

Wow, I'm really pleased this thread has taken off again with so many experienced ladies contributing. Thanks for that! There are so many things which confuse me about SD relationships, so here are a few questions.

I take it LTR stands for a Long Term Relationship. But what does NSA friendship mean?

Hello Sweets!

NSA is No Strings Attached.

Quote

This is what confuses me. Reading various posts it seems that as a Sugar Babe you wouldn't mention/admit to being an escort alongside your SD relationship/s. But how would that secrecy not get in the way of leading your life? Apart from the burden of keeping secrets from a man whom you periodically see a lot more of, surely there must be a conflict if he expects to see you when you already planned your tour/bookings with other clients?

And when some of you mention marriage I presume you mean marrying for money, or am I wrong? Because if Sugar Daddies are only after a bit of fun and not a serious relationship, then how comes some of them want to marry their babes?

The thing about me that I'm aware that a lot of people aren't able to do, is I compartmentalize. There is the 'normal' me who wants to date, have a real life, and get married. I'm not into frivolous sex AT ALL, and dating me can mean months going without it. I'm a mom to a young lady I have to show how to be a woman, and I have a great career outside of this, so I'm not hard up for the money. It just so happens the kind of man that I would hope to find usually have profiles on Sugardaddy sites.

If you haven't shopped around on the sites, from bad to good, there are men who are looking simply for wayward pretty girls to make a fool of, then there are married men who can't/won't get a divorce, but looking to have a beautiful lady on retainer for trips and occasional romance, there are single busy men that are looking for the same thing, and then there are those looking for an understanding woman who can be there for them in a Long Term capacity. Most SANE men with money tend to be realists. They understand the odds of running across the love of their lives at the market are slim to none. And finding a woman they don't have to take care of is even slimmer. I am highly selective, and most of these rich bastards get turned down FLAT because I would hope that there would be more than money that would keep us together. When I meet someone, I am not considered a Sugarbaby, therefore my availability is not an issue. And normally when I meet someone worth it, I am not a Service Provider, since my 'companion' self only exists to service my physical needs.

Then there is the 'companion' me, who's accepted the fact that she's single, and seeks to enjoy every opportunity with the strangers she meets. I'm open-minded, as this industry affords me the freedom to not worry about what the men I meet think of me. I don't use the SD sites for NSA arrangements, as that's what the escort industry is for. FOR ME. And as a fact, MOST sugardaddies see escorts.

Quote

I'm not pointing fingers here. It's just that I don't get monogamy best of times* so find it difficult to understand the whole leap from "this relationship is not serious cause I'm with someone else (so it's OK to keep secrets then)" to "oh wait, I'm single again so now I love you very much, let's get married despite all secrets we've been keeping from each other" mentality.

You know what? I don't get monogamy either! LOL Even in my civvie life it's not a requirement for a suitor, just the respect of not knowing. The advice I have given in this thread are for women who are young, and looking to get ahead without the hassle. (I try not to give advice based on who I am. I know I'm an odd lot!LOL) Because the SD bit can be quite taxing because it attempts to mingle civvie dating and prostitution in one, it's best for the young ladies open to it to be ahead of the pack in their understanding of who you're going to meet (I'm the oldest of 17 siblings. It's not unusual to find me on a soapbox trying to get the youngfolk to listen.).

I am a firm believer in less headaches in life, and the more we accept our humanity (which is inclusive of NOT being monogamous by nature) the better off we'll be.

I hope this explains more.

cassie · « **Reply #52 on:** 03 July 2010, 12:23:28 am »

I agree with what Miss Jameson and Violette are saying apart from this bit regarding monogamy.

Quote from: Miss Jameson on 02 July 2010, 04:10:47 pm

Even in my civvie life it's not a requirement for a suitor, just the respect of not knowing.

I am happy to be in a non monogamous relationship, as long as this is what we have both agreed on and are open and honest about out other dalliances. I don?t mean giving each other a blow by blow account or flaunting it in the others face, but just having the courteousy to say that we have met or are meeting another person and have had or may have sex with them.
To me honesty in a relationship is the most important thing and my 'partner' screwing around behind my back would really upset me, which apart from my age means SD is out of the question.

Miss Jameson · « **Reply #53 on:** 03 July 2010, 02:57:51 am »

Hey sweetheart, these sound like two conflicting statements. I kinda think I know where you're coming from, so clarify me if I'm wrong:

Quote from: cassie on 03 July 2010, 12:23:28 am

I am happy to be in a non monogamous relationship, as long as this is what we have both agreed on and are open and honest about out other dalliances. I don?t mean giving each other a blow by blow account or flaunting it in the others face, but just having the courteousy to say that we have met or are meeting another person and have had or may have sex with them.

If you're in a civvie relationship, a nonmonogamous relationship can be the love of your life, cause it's one where you can be free to be human, make mistakes, and not be in danger of the dramatic.

Quote

To me honesty in a relationship is the most important thing and my 'partner' screwing around behind my back would really upset me, which apart from my age means SD is out of the question.

This is where it get's tricky for me: The 'honesty in relationship' and SD situation is two different things: unless you're already in a relationship. I can understand how having a SD when you're in a committed relationship WHILE you're a working girl would be redundant and a waste of energy. I wouldn't want one either LOL! Or somebody would have to go.

As far as your age is concerned, in my opinion, I'm a big believer in living your life first, being allowed to mature between the ages of 18-25 before investing in anyone emotionally until you've 'made your rounds in life' so to speak. But if you're lucky enough to find that person that makes you happy, accepts the ever-changing you just the way you are during this period in your life, you should consider yourself very lucky. At my age, I don't have time to waste on emotionally dead-beat men. If you don't multifunction i.e. sugardaddy-boyfriend or generous anonymous lover, it's time to move on!

But for those ladies between the ages of 18 and 25 , and I'm pretty sure the other old birds would agree with me, you're at a time in your life where men prey on you because of your naivety, because you think you know everything right now. I don't care what you've been through, or what you've pulled yourself through, you are not the woman you will be in 10 years. And I'm sure I'm not the lady that I'll be in 10 years. In getting into a SD relationship, and in this business, you have to be strong, cause it's easy to let these days make who you are 10 years from now a bitter shell of a woman. In asking a question like this one and getting great advice from the great ladies on this board, I hope it makes a positive difference in your lives and experiences.

Lucy Chambers · « **Reply #54 on:** 03 July 2010, 07:22:28 pm »

mmm. Forgive me my naivety, but it looks to me like a sd relationship is very much like a fling where you don't like the guy particularly, just milk him for available benefits and then flit when you can. Is this a true and honest transaction? I think not. And to be honest, my relationships are the ones I don't charge for...

Miss Jameson · « **Reply #55 on:** 03 July 2010, 08:24:24 pm »

Quote from: Lucy Chambers on 03 July 2010, 07:22:28 pm

mmm. Forgive me my naivety, but it looks to me like a sd relationship is very much like a fling where you don't like the guy particularly, just milk him for available benefits and then flit when you can.

Naivety forgiven sweetheart

. In so many ways, you're right. In a perfect world, that is. But you're looking at it one-sided. You're assuming that he's going to be so blinded by your beauty that he just passes you anything that you want. That he'll be some hobbit drooling over you and you're going to call the shots. Not always the case. If a lady is not careful, she'll barely escape wondering who actually came out on top. If it's the money you're after, that's NOTHING to some men to make a complete ass out of a woman. To rob her emotionally and show her how low she really is. Like putting pearls on a pig. That's why I stress being smart.

Quote

Is this a true and honest transaction? I think not.

And you're correct again. Being in a SD relationship isn't for the stupid or the faint of heart. Because, like I said, it attempts to be prostitution only in a round-about way. Like having a prossie on retainer. But it's essential that you like the person that you're in any relationship with. Even something as simple as an hour transaction. The less humanity you see in a person and vice versa the dirtier you feel.

Quote

And to be honest, my relationships are the ones I don't charge for...

Now this is debatable. I believe that we all pay. We're all being charged. Either you're paying a financial toll or an emotional one. It's these inequalities in human relationships that make life interesting. It's how you view and handle these inequalities that make us who we are. No relationship is without price. You might as well be smart in the process.

Lucy Chambers · « **Reply #56 on:** 03 July 2010, 08:39:22 pm »

Hi Tiffany

Excellent point. However, for me the emotional price of a relationship cannot be priced or valued. I think the problem I have with this is that to put a price on something therefore makes it..available. I am a escort, I price per hour. I am also a fun loving, sensual, sex loving princess. This has no fee, as it is mine to share as I see fit. This is where I find the difference between Lucy and me. There has to be a element of truth in my life, I do not judge, I merely comment.

Miss Jameson · « **Reply #57 on:** 04 July 2010, 05:36:14 am »

Quote from: Lucy Chambers on 03 July 2010, 08:39:22 pm

Hi Tiffany

Excellent point. However, for me the emotional price of a relationship cannot be priced or valued. I think the problem I have with this is that to put a price on something therefore makes it..available. I am a escort, I price per hour. I am also a fun loving, sensual, sex loving princess. This has no fee, as it is mine to share as I see fit. This is where I find the difference between Lucy and me. There has to be a element of truth in my life, I do not judge, I merely comment.

Of course we're commenting, I hope I don't come across as judgement or arguing (well debate was definitely one of my favorite subjects LOL). But we're saying the same thing. There are ladies who couldn't be escorts and keep themselves in all of this. Throwing in a SD in that mix can be unnerving. I agree with you wholeheartedly. You never compromise yourself in any of life's processes. Whether it's relationships, escorting or Sugardaddies. And the freedom to be ourselves in any of these situations is priceless.

I wear so many hats and play so many roles in life, but they all coincide for one cause: and that is the benefit of XXXX(my name here) and xxxx (my daughter's name here). My version of being safe is to hypercompartmentalize my roles, but never lose who I am. I am always that smart, witty, sexually charged queen that I am!LOL It's redundant for me to look for a sugardaddy, cause I'm looking for a relationship. Plus I'm no where near a sugarbaby. I own my condo, still paying for one my younger sisters live in (incall gone wrong. Another long story), and I own two of the three cars I have. While I'm not in a relationship, my sexual prowess has a price. When I find someone that makes me happy, and hopefully for good, Tiffani Jameson will retire and she shall be no more. All the fun she had or will have had I hope to have with one person. Yes, I am monogamous. I'm just a realist. I don't expect anyone else to be.

But somewhere on this board is a 20 year old Uni student that is struggling to buy her books, keep a flat and keep herself fed. She has turned to this industry to help herself out. And in thinking about her life, she thinks instead of several tricks, how about ONE GOOD trick? In theory, it's safer, and the odds of encountering a problem reduce drastically. There are also ladies here that think, 'I wonder if a really rich guy knew that I wanted to buy my own flat, or nice car, how much help can I get? At my current rate WITH my bills I can be on my back til 2012.' (of course this is an exaggeration ladies) Honestly SD relationships are no different than what we're doing now. Except it's a LOT slower. Most times, if you find one with a modicum of brains, he's under no illusions that you're going to be together forever. Then there are the 'teet hangers' as Miss Violette would say LOL. Hell, YOU might end up the teet hanger! Most are not as ugly, dull and fat as you think. LOL You can't predict people's feelings. Sometimes things that start out really good don't end up that way.

I hope nothing I said on this thread came across as you shouldn't enjoy any part of your life, or be yourself. Yes, I have said fake it til you make it, but I meant in the sense of your possessions. With some guys, you can't just tell them 'I'm accustomed to the finer things in life. You WILL keep me in the lifestyle I'm accustomed' and you don't have a decent pair of shoes to your name. If you're doing too bad, it's a chance he thinks that no one has your back, and you're desperate for his help. This is not a good idea. It's almost always a losing game. Getting a man's help to pay off your flat, pay tuition, or help with the kid's private education, is easy when he sees you have goals. But once you've put yourself out there on the right foot, you've got to decipher through the losers. Just like in any arena, you always have a choice.

Lucy Chambers · « **Reply #58 on:** 04 July 2010, 06:13:07 am »

Quote from: Miss Jameson on 04 July 2010, 05:36:14 am

Quote from: Lucy Chambers on 03 July 2010, 08:39:22 pm
Hi Tiffany

Excellent point. However, for me the emotional price of a relationship cannot be priced or valued. I think the problem I have with this is that to put a price on something therefore makes it..available. I am a escort, I price per hour. I am also a fun loving, sensual, sex loving princess. This has no fee, as it is mine to share as I see fit. This is where I find the difference between Lucy and me. There has to be a element of truth in my life, I do not judge, I merely comment.

Of course we're commenting, I hope I don't come across as judgement or arguing (well debate was definitely one of my favorite subjects LOL). But we're saying the same thing. There are ladies who couldn't be escorts and keep themselves in all of this. Throwing in a SD in that mix can be unnerving. I agree with you wholeheartedly. You never compromise yourself in any of life's processes. Whether it's relationships, escorting or Sugardaddies. And the freedom to be ourselves in any of these situations is priceless.

I wear so many hats and play so many roles in life, but they all coincide for one cause: and that is the benefit of XXXX(my name here) and xxxx (my daughter's name here). My version of being safe is to hypercompartmentalize my roles, but never lose who I am. I am always that smart, witty, sexually charged queen that I am!LOL It's redundant for me to look for a sugardaddy, cause I'm looking for a relationship. Plus I'm no where near a sugarbaby. I own my condo, still paying for one my younger sisters live in (incall gone wrong. Another long story), and I own two of the three cars I have. While I'm not in a relationship, my sexual prowess has a price. When I find someone that makes me happy, and hopefully for good, Tiffani Jameson will retire and she shall be no more. All the fun she had or will have had I hope to have with one person. Yes, I am monogamous. I'm just a realist. I don't expect anyone else to be.

But somewhere on this board is a 20 year old Uni student that is struggling to buy her books, keep a flat and keep herself fed. She has turned to this industry to help herself out. And in thinking about her life, she thinks instead of several tricks, how about ONE GOOD trick? In theory, it's safer, and the odds of encountering a problem reduce drastically. There are also ladies here that think, 'I wonder if a really rich guy knew that I wanted to buy my own flat, or nice car, how much help can I get? At my current rate WITH my bills I can be on my back til 2012.' (of course this is an exaggeration ladies) Honestly SD relationships are no different than what we're doing now. Except it's a LOT slower. Most times, if you find one with a modicum of brains, he's under no illusions that you're going to be together forever. Then there are the 'teet hangers' as Miss Violette would say LOL. Hell, YOU might end up the teet hanger! Most are not as ugly, dull and fat as you think. LOL You can't predict people's feelings. Sometimes things that start out really good don't end up that way.

I hope nothing I said on this thread came across as you shouldn't enjoy any part of your life, or be yourself. Yes, I have said fake it til you make it, but I meant in the sense of your possessions. With some guys, you can't just tell them 'I'm accustomed to the finer things in life. You WILL keep me in the lifestyle I'm accustomed' and you don't have a decent pair of shoes to your name. If you're doing too bad, it's a chance he thinks that no one has your back, and you're desperate for his help. This is not a good idea. It's almost always a losing game. Getting a man's help to pay off your flat, pay tuition, or help with the kid's private education, is easy when he sees you have goals. But once you've put yourself out there on the right foot, you've got to decipher through the losers. Just like in any arena, you always have a choice.

My apologies Tiffani. I was speaking for myself...I think perhaps I am in danger of becoming a pompous twit! I couldn't have a sd relationship, but good luck to those that can! x

Miss Jameson · « **Reply #59 on:** 04 July 2010, 06:42:51 am »

No need to apologize

. You are on a public forum full of public opinions. You could never be a twit. And we all have our boundaries and limitations so be as pompous as you wish to be

I wish you the best in all your endeavors.

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements (Read 135174 times)

Miss Jameson

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Miss Mary

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Jewel

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Violette

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Miss Mary

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SnakeLady

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Miss Jameson

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cassie

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Miss Jameson

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Lucy Chambers

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Miss Jameson

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Lucy Chambers

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Miss Jameson

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Lucy Chambers

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Miss Jameson

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