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Author Topic: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements  (Read 121347 times)

sammy s

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Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements
« Reply #30 on: 06 June 2010, 12:49:30 am »
When I first joined Seeking arrangement I was very excited about it and had lots of genuine sounding emails from men wanting "arrangements" for large quantities of money every month.

However, every single one of them has proved to be a complete and utter time waster.

Ive found they either just want a cheaper escort (most tht ive spoken to want to spend ?400 for an overnighter max)
or they want to chat for ages on the phone or by email and refuse to give straight answers when it comes to the money side of things.

I dont know if im cut out for meeting these men for a chat over coffee to see if we get first before they even think about giving any money.
When I tell them that they need to pay me for my time if they want to meet me they get extremely offended and tell me they are not looking for an escort.

I understand that a SD relationship is different to an escort/client relationship and I understand that  a SD wont want to hand money over unless he has met me first and feels a spark. Its a big investment for a SD every month.
However I think 99% of the men on that site dont understand the true concept of what is expected.


I think that escorting is a better way of being able to keep full control over your life and your income.


EmilyJones

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Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements
« Reply #31 on: 06 June 2010, 09:20:19 am »
I think that escorting is a better way of being able to keep full control over your life and your income.

I think so, too. :) I mean, the only sugar daddy that I could tolerate would have to be super-mature, handsome, fit, funny, witty and too busy with his amazing life to be whiny or insecure. Because it sounds like the sugar daddy relationship is way too up-close-and-personal, despite the money (which has to be disguised as gifts? WTF? I can't eat shoes!) so if you don't actually like each other, it's a nightmare.

I have rather high standards for my male company unless I'm getting an hourly fee. So I'm pretty sure that 99% of the wankers on seekingnotaprostitute.com or whatever can consider themselves completely safe from seduction attempts by me. ;D
Disclosure: The other person behind yourescortsite.com

Violette

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Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements
« Reply #32 on: 06 June 2010, 11:53:29 am »
When I first joined Seeking arrangement I was very excited about it and had lots of genuine sounding emails from men wanting "arrangements" for large quantities of money every month.

However, every single one of them has proved to be a complete and utter time waster.

Ive found they either just want a cheaper escort (most tht ive spoken to want to spend ?400 for an overnighter max)
or they want to chat for ages on the phone or by email and refuse to give straight answers when it comes to the money side of things.

I dont know if im cut out for meeting these men for a chat over coffee to see if we get first before they even think about giving any money.
When I tell them that they need to pay me for my time if they want to meet me they get extremely offended and tell me they are not looking for an escort.

I understand that a SD relationship is different to an escort/client relationship and I understand that  a SD wont want to hand money over unless he has met me first and feels a spark. Its a big investment for a SD every month.
However I think 99% of the men on that site dont understand the true concept of what is expected.


I think that escorting is a better way of being able to keep full control over your life and your income.


You are  so right, most of these guys have not idea of what being a SD is about, and will get quite offended when you mention money. Which I find ironic when they will happily plaster their net worth and potential earnings up on the web for all to see. They know exactly what they are about, hoping to get it for free. Wishfully thinking the girls on there aren't as experienced as escorts! Ha! The joke is on them, most of the ladies on there ARE escorts, wether they admit it or not.

sammy s

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Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements
« Reply #33 on: 06 June 2010, 12:18:43 pm »
EXACTLY!!!!

i had one potential SD and we spoke for ages and really got on well. We had agreed our arrangement and everything was going well.
Anyway, the day before we were due to meet I text him asking him when he was thinking of paying me.
He replied saying "To be honest I am very shocked by your previous message. I thought we were on the same wave length and tomorrow we would be meeting for dinner and drinks with no obligations for me to give you money".

EH HELLLOOOOOOOOO....... why the  hell do these men think girls are using this site? To date ugly old men for free?

GRRRRRR

And I also had one who told me he would pay me a monthly allowance to meet him once a week for sex, HOWEVER he wouldnt be paying me anything unless I let him do whatever he wanted to me no matter how painful it was. And if I wanted to stop then he wouldnt pay me a penny and would leave.
SICKO


I think you can occassionaly find a SD that is married, older, generous and not a demanding creep.  However these men are gold dust and if you manage to find one then congragulations

cassie

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Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements
« Reply #34 on: 07 June 2010, 12:08:31 am »
TBH though I cant eat expensive clothes or jewellery and what if he buys something I don't like? I know that must sound ungrateful but id feel awkward asking for the receipt. I like my cash.  ;D

And have you seen the resale value of diamonds? Pathetic!

Ah, but gold on the other hand is worth going for just now! ;)


But seriously, I am obviously way past the SB age, so couldn't even if I wanted to. However one ex-client did offer me a monthly payment, for this I had to be at his beck nd call 3 times a week and was not allowed to see any other clients, so I told him to take a run and jump.

I can't see any guy who wants that sort of arrangement being happy with his girl having sex with other men too.
« Last Edit: 07 June 2010, 12:27:54 am by cassie »
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the ground in the morning, Satan shudders and says: "Oh shit, she's awake!"

SnakeLady

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Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements
« Reply #35 on: 07 June 2010, 01:20:33 am »
I can't see any guy who wants that sort of arrangement being happy with his girl having sex with other men too.

I've encountered a couple of guys wanting the lady to be exclusive to them (when I had my ad in FT). Nevermind that at least one of them was married. >:(
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cassie

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Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements
« Reply #36 on: 07 June 2010, 01:24:09 am »
I can't see any guy who wants that sort of arrangement being happy with his girl having sex with other men too.

I've encountered a couple of guys wanting the lady to be exclusive to them (when I had my ad in FT). Nevermind that at least one of them was married. >:(

Yep, the guy offering me the exclusive deal was married too, but that is the great hypocrisy of the whole thing.
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the ground in the morning, Satan shudders and says: "Oh shit, she's awake!"

Violette

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Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements
« Reply #37 on: 26 June 2010, 01:50:52 am »
Oh I love the married ones! They are fantastic, you know the time spent will be limited because they have the darling wife to return to. The last thing you want is a single SD, ultimately becoming the center of their universe. NOOOOOOOO! Hell on earth. They fall in love, and then you can never get rid of them.

Miss Jameson

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Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements
« Reply #38 on: 26 June 2010, 04:39:50 am »
Ah, the good old days. I love a SD-SB relationship. As long as you are both singing from the same hymn sheet. I have my profile up on several sites, and straight off the bat, it is not unusual to chat for a bit, skype, then arrange a meet, where he covers the costs of travel, which will include some serious shopping, nice hotel, and then shag him senseless. As to items purchased, get a gift receipt if you can. :)

You are a riot, Violette!

Typically, with a Sugardaddy, you DON'T approach them. That's because I use SeekingArrangement and Sugardaddy for Me for civvie dating. The most successful SD/SB relationships happen when you don't come off so needy. Plus, nowadays the 'damsel in distress' bit gets very old QUICK. Great clothes and accessories, stylist-done hair, a nice flat, and for those in the US, a great car ALWAYS lets a man know he has to come off the checkbook. (You don't have to have it ALL, but any combination of these assets will work.)

Of course, so does being just young and hot too, but it ends up being more of a mind-fuck than anything if you're 'not singing from the same hymn sheet' (THAT is hilarious). Most men's idea of Benefactor is code for DADDY, which means 'I tell you what to do and when to do it.' When he feels like you have no life or no choice than to deal with him, he will offer to put you up in a flat, with a car and allowance, all so he can come by when he wants. So no friends, no plans, cause you have to be ready when he is. Too bad it's your mum's birthday, cause you can't go. And if you make plans when they make plans, they're like spoiled brats. Things with a guy looking for vulnerability always ends up bad.

As far as the arrangement is concerned, he will usually tell you what he is able to do for whatever level of involvement. If he doesn't mention it, tell him that you'll need a cash allowance directed to your bank account. Those who really know the deal and know they don't have the time for a LTR will anyway (your profile should say what you're open to, whether that's a LTR or NSA friendship.). Honestly anything you gain from a Sugardaddy relationship is meant to help your life, not to stop your life. I would not stop being an escort at all for a man unless you were about to be married. Even then it should be a gateway to following your dreams of making money in other ways.

But when you SEEM already financially set, it allows you to set the pace. He has to woo you. He looks at you and knows your inbox on Seeking Arrangement is full and there is competition for him. When my friend found a suitor on Sugardaddy for Me, she borrowed my clothes, my car, a condo that I used as my incall location, and now she's about to get married. After a month of dating, he wanted her to go on a month-long vacation with him, so she just told him to transfer the amount of her bills for two months into her account while he was at it. It was more than fair. She has a good head on her shoulders, and all she needed to show him was that she wasn't some lowlife gold digger.

All the best to you Sugarbabies,

Tiffani
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Violette

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Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements
« Reply #39 on: 26 June 2010, 07:57:50 am »
Thanks Tiffani.  :-*
As I have said before it is a delicate balance. But I do find, that when you are not at his beck and call, it will send some of them into a frenzy. Especially when they know you don't need them, is when they will start wanting to leave the wife and kids. Oi Vey! I will tell them, "Your family NEEDS you." What I really mean is: I  will not be interested in you once your wife has taken half of what you now have, you lose your business, your kids, your mind, and now you are all mine? No thanks. Stay with the family, and load me up with the guilt gifts.

Miss Jameson

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Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements
« Reply #40 on: 26 June 2010, 08:52:53 pm »
Thanks Tiffani.  :-*
As I have said before it is a delicate balance. But I do find, that when you are not at his beck and call, it will send some of them into a frenzy. Especially when they know you don't need them, is when they will start wanting to leave the wife and kids. Oi Vey! I will tell them, "Your family NEEDS you." What I really mean is: I  will not be interested in you once your wife has taken half of what you now have, you lose your business, your kids, your mind, and now you are all mine? No thanks. Stay with the family, and load me up with the guilt gifts.


LOL You are SO right!! But you have to admit, you're a lucky girl if you can tell a man that you're flat broke, available anytime, and you don't end up with someone's babyfied husband who's expecting you to be his second wife, since the first one's gone bad, or because he thinks you'll depend on him solely he won't try to cheapen you with JUST bill money, and no spending money. I think what you get out of a SD relationship is totally up to to smarts of the lady.
Miss Jameson
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sarah_bbw

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Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements
« Reply #41 on: 27 June 2010, 01:18:24 am »
The site 'seeking arrangements' is not one I'm familiar with but theres another site which  i have experience with and a good friend of mine who also uses the site appeared in a documentary about it on a free view channel a while back.

I know that many escorts look at sugar daddies and consider it as another revenue stream but truthfully anybody that is an escort would struggle to be a successful sugar babe. 

Most guys that use the site are just after someone for a bit on the site or a few meets a week or weekend fun. The typical sugar daddy is not after anything too serious and most of them don't mind girls who have one of two other sugar daddies at the same time. He basically wants all the benefits from being in  a relationship without the commitment (i call this a guyship), most of these guys have worked hard for or inherited their money and they feel they deserve more from life than what they see others settling for,  having  someone younger fitter and better looking than they are sends a message out  to everyone else that they have made it in life.  Saying this theres also others that want a girl without anybody else knowing about it, especially if their married and the sex has dried up.

The type of girl that makes a good sugar babe is one that does not want a normal  9-5 job with a low to average income, she wants the type of lifestyle she imagines most highclass escorts enjoy but at the same time she can not do the job of meeting different clients week in week out.  The job of a sugar babe is quite simply to be a girlfriend to the sugar daddy without him having to , most only want to know enough about you to make sure they are not being lied to and made a fool of, remember ladies sugar daddies are successful and are used to being in control, you will be very lucky to find one that believes what you say without first having it checking out by a private investigator.   

Many sugar daddies would not think twice about offering  a sugar babe a living allowance, infact that's what its all about, but this is something that comes up later once a connection between a sugar babe and a sugar daddy has been made. This connection happens just like it does in a traditional relationship but instead of it happening on an emotional level it happens just on a logical level, it may take one meeting it may take more but it never happens  after just one phone call.

 An escort is someone that receives a fixed amount of money for a fixed amount of time, a useful sugar babe gives an unmeasured amount of their time in exchange for a living allowance, this will nearly always include sex but its not something that's measured by the hour.

I mentioned  above my  friend who  joined the same site as me, shes not an escort  so the sugar babe setup works better for her than it ever has for me, some weeks she spends just a couple of hours with her daddy talking on the phone which will sound pretty cushy to alot of you reading this, other weeks she spends a couple of nights a week with him on the days he is in town but only last month she spend a full 5 days with him in Brighton.  Her allowance stays the same week in week out regardless of how much time they spend together. She has her apartment paid for and ?500 a week spending money, however she does make herself exclusive to him and if she met other people  that would drop by allot.

Escorts = business women who charge by the hour
sugar babes = make believe girlfriends who are always available and taken care of.

If you genuinely want to be a sugar babe i would suggest you don't mention money in the first couple of dates, it sends a red flag up straight away for him,  my advice would be to meet him a few times first during the day, don't clock watch and just get to know him and him you. If hes a genuine sugar daddy and he finds you appealing  he will respond well to this approach and even enjoy it, after hes more comfortable with you it will be him that takes the lead regarding how things proceed, hell bring up the subject of the allowance, however if hes not a genuine sugar daddy and hes just looking for a cheap lay hell try and get you into bed before he talks about the allowance, that's your Que to leave. If he finds out your An escort as well, your chances of finding a proper sugar daddy will fall to almost zero.

I'm an escort first and formost so the sugar babe setup failed for me, but Alisha has been with the same guy now for 3 years and i cannot see it changing any time soon.

Miss Jameson

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Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements
« Reply #42 on: 27 June 2010, 04:44:34 am »
Escorts = business women who charge by the hour
sugar babes = make believe girlfriends who are always available and taken care of.

...and never the two shall meet? I'm pretty sure that some of us have had the chance to enjoy this relationship before we're outed as dirty filthy whores, not only on the online dating sites, but with our clients as well who know everything about us. I know escorts about to be married to their sugardaddies.  As a matter of fact, a lot of sugardaddies appreciate the fact that you have an escorting background, cause they know the sex is usually better than what they get at home. Most well off men see escorts anyway, since they don't have the time for relationships. Getting your favourite on call is just a bonus.

If you genuinely want to be a sugar babe i would suggest you don't mention money in the first couple of dates, it sends a red flag up straight away for him,  my advice would be to meet him a few times first during the day, don't clock watch and just get to know him and him you. If hes a genuine sugar daddy and he finds you appealing  he will respond well to this approach and even enjoy it, after hes more comfortable with you it will be him that takes the lead regarding how things proceed, hell bring up the subject of the allowance, however if hes not a genuine sugar daddy and hes just looking for a cheap lay hell try and get you into bed before he talks about the allowance, that's your Que to leave.

This I agree with on some levels. If you've met someone on the SD websites, you will neither bring up money, nor have sex with him. It's a courtship. Like I said, I use these sites for dating. There are some who, before they court you, ask you what you're looking for. If they like your answer, they proceed. If you blindly say, 'I'm open for anything', that's when you get what Violette described: the married guy trying to take you from 0 to 60 in a month flat. The trick is to beat them talking about what they're looking for, and keep them on track during the dating process. I have turned down men who are overzealous in their approach, trying to be overlysugardaddyish. I have turned down men who seem unstable. I had been in a sugardaddy relationship for a year and a half where my being an escort never came up. I have had two sugardaddies at a time.  Any situation is doable when the lady is smart, and not looking to be a mindless young girl looking for Richard Gere in the 'Pretty Woman' scenario. Guys see right through that.

If he finds out your An escort as well, your chances of finding a proper sugar daddy will fall to almost zero. I'm an escort first and formost so the sugar babe setup failed for me, but Alisha has been with the same guy now for 3 years and i cannot see it changing any time soon.


I would say that this answer is likely false. I don't know you very well, and I don't know why the Sugardaddy thing didn't work for you, but you should definitely speak to more ladies. I know so many ladies who are currently unavailable due to exclusive relationships. But I understand what  you mean, being with one guy. If you wanted a boyfriend or a husband you'd go get yourself one. I personally don't do exclusives with my clients. Anymore. Now THAT is a horse of a different color. Clients trying to see you as more than just a hobag can sometimes be a tiring thing. So for me, SD relationship= boyfriend, as I would definitely like to be in a relationship. And escorting=escorting.
Miss Jameson
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Violette

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Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements
« Reply #43 on: 27 June 2010, 08:50:38 am »
As to telling a prospective SD that I am an escort, why on earth would that ever come up? It is a different situation and has to be managed accordingly. Not to mention I detest the term SB, it implies some your bubble headed teeny bopper with two repelling brain cells. The old fashion term used to be having a mistress, or being a kept woman, and that ladies is the approach I apply when engaging in a SD relationship. As I've stated before, I tend to prefer the married ones, because I know for a fact they will not be as demanding as the single ones, or if I have a single one, he needs to live in another country so as no to get underfoot.
There are different approaches. The trick is finding the one that works for you.

Miss Mary

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Re: Sugar Daddies & related arrangements
« Reply #44 on: 28 June 2010, 09:11:16 pm »
Violette and Tiff (welcome, btw), your words are like gold. I'm about ready to string up my heels and say f the whole SD situation. Today had been extremely disheartening and I was ready to take a frying pan up a man's head today. I haven't dabbled in dating sites but I wonder truly how much, they would help me and my situation. I agree with you ladies that you should never come off too needy. but what if you are needy? Lol? then what? Fake til you make it?

I mean I'm not exactly needy-- no. But I want some things. That cannot be denied. Today has made me so weak, and the idea of gameplaying makes me nauseous. :(  But at the end of the day I still want the gifts and cash. I smell a serious dilemma..... I need some kind words.