If he already knows and has been good so far, you've just got to take it for what it's worth. He might be the rare man who is perfectly understanding about this line of work, and you wouldn't want to keep him at arm's length just because of what MIGHT change in his attitude! If he turns out to use this work against you, that will be very sad, but it would be sadder to avoid emotional intimacy completely until that happens, if it even does.

Listen to Honey Stephanie!

Don't throw away something potentially good on the off chance that it could turn bad, if you don't try you'll never know.

I have kind of been in a relationship for a while - to quote a cliche - it's complicated, but we consider ourselves a couple. I wasn't escorting when we met, but when we were starting to get more serious about each other, I had made the choice to be a fulltime escort, so I told him about it and gave him the choice to walk away. He stayed and supported me all the way, though he doesn't want to know too much detail about my work and that is fine by me.

There have been rows about stuff and he has played the "you sleep with men for a living" card once or twice, when things have got heated, however I have dealt him a few low blows too - I won't go into the ugly details.

When emotions run high and you have been hurt (intentionally or not) and angered by someone you love it is human nature to bring up the stuff you know will hurt the other person as much as you yourself feel hurt.

The main thing is not to let communication break down, by all means go away lick your wounds, calm down and then sit down and talk, admit what hurt and why to each other and admit if you said something because you know it would hurt them. It works -really.

Good luck and don't be afraid to enjoy life and love xx

No hun you dont sound pathetic at all,you sound like someone who has gone through a lot of emotional upheaval in the last 6 months and then some berk of a man has gone and put the icing on the cake for you.

This job is incredibly isolating for a lot of us even when we live near to parents and family. When your alone in a town where you don't know anyone it stands to reason the isolation will increase tenfold.

Are you planning to stay in Cardiff? just asking cos if the job you moved there for hasn't worked out then maybye you could consider going back home to where your friends are? I empathise with you trying to look for work,i am as well at the moment and getting nowhere fast. Hang on on there though,my theory is that if you apply enough times then the laws of averages state that someone will have to employ you eventually.

Take care **big hugs**

Hey Stephanie,

I hope you don't feel too crappy about all of this- at least he was honest with you now rather than when you had made a greater amount of emotional investment months down the line. That's probably not much help now, I'll button it.

RE the socialising/lonely issue- do you also find that sometimes you feel like you see a lot of people, and then you realise that they are all clients, and you haven't seen an actual proper friend all week? Because we have this one on one relationship in our jobs, it sometimes feels to me at least that I do socialise, and then the "oh my lord, I literally only see clients for days at a time" hits me and I go and sit in a coffee shop or something just to feel some normal social interaction! We all feel this I am pretty sure, at one time or another.

Have you thought about joining an aerobics class or doing a short evening course to meet people? Or volunteering to coach kids netball on a saturday morning or something just as, er, 1950s and wholesome? (I know I know, my ideas leave a lot to be desired!) but something, once a week, where you see the same people and share an experience with them finds you friends with shared interests.

This can be a loooooonnely job, we all feel it, and it's a natural thing to  experience. I just hope you enjoy your evening sewing classes I've clearly inspired you to sign up for  xx

i was just thinking the same thing. I used to kickbox and currently I train at home (I have a punch bag at home which frightens the living shit outta clients!) so thinking of doing classes and starting to compete again.

Amazing! I took maybe three whole kickboxing classes when I was a teen and LOVED it, but dropped out like I did with everything back then. Anyway! If you've got a skill like that you can do looooads of sociable activities (kicking smelly punters not yet being a national team sport ) from competitions, like you said, to teaching kids or maybe women's self-defense classes? (Sorry if that's too far away from kickboxing, I'm obvs the furthest thing from knowledgeable about it.) Either way, it all sounds like lots of fun and I'm jealous that you won't be having to attend 'newbie' classes like I do at the gym, where it really is full of social misfits like me who can barely manage the simplest of routines.