It is not as if we say to clients 'We can't find anybody better than you today so will accept your offer'.

I would not be able to help myself, he would clearly know he had said the wrong thing. I would not put up with rude obnoxious people in any job so just because i am offering erotic services does not mean I have to accept this type of behaviour. Even if he backtracked and i did carry on with the booking, he would be on basic service and be right out of the door when his time was up. This isnt about any ego its about guys saying something clearly hurtful to show you that they are the 'boss' and we are beneath them, sorry but he can stick his money where the sun doesn't shine because i certainly would not be accepting any future bookings from him.

Absolutely.

"Well it's a good job darling, you were on my reserve list as my usual well hung, hot 30 something client came down with the flu & had to cancel earlier this morning". Looks like it was meant to be for me & you today... with a cheeky yet facetious wink.

Exactly. If I were running a restaurant it wouldn’t bother me if some customers came up my place after other places they might have gone for first were fully booked or whatever.

But I get that maybe if I client told you it might be because he is trying to undermine you, but it could also be because some of them think we are so focused only the wonga we’d not be arsed as long as we get paid...and they don’t have any filter on the truth. I’ve had it said to me and not felt slighted and I’ve not got the thickest skin ever.

It's not being last on someone's list that's the problem, we are all someone's last choice its the fact they tell you when there is no need just acting like boundary-pushing pricks, dirty sneaky ones at that and its a bad place to start a booking from. if they see you take that they will only get worse and see what else you are willing to take. Banger is right, let them know that you know exactly what they are trying to play and that they won't be getting away with it. We are not here to be abused physically or verbally nor are we here to be put in our 'place'

We all have our limit of what we are willing to take and I am not willing to take a client purposely trying to put me down or attempt to make me feel somewhat inferior. I always get confused which boards are public but if any clients are reading this, if you feel the need to 'share' this kind of info with me then do yourself a favour and move along the list as I prefer to keep myself in a good mood so I give a better service to the punters who are actually happy to be with me 

But I get that maybe if I client told you it might be because he is trying to undermine you, but it could also be because some of them think we are so focused only the wonga we’d not be arsed as long as we get paid...and they don’t have any filter on the truth. I’ve had it said to me and not felt slighted and I’ve not got the thickest skin ever.

Only if they have extremely poor social skills.

I wouldn't tell my massage therapist I only booked him because he was available at the last minute. It sets a bad tone for a below par service.

The beauty of doing this job is that we can tell people to sod off.

if they see you take that they will only get worse and see what else you are willing to take. Banger is right, let them know that you know exactly what they are trying to play and that they won't be getting away with it. We are not here to be abused physically or verbally nor are we here to be put in our 'place'

It's more a form of an emotional abuse tactic, that falls under coercive control.

There's interesting documentary on the BBC about the first woman  in the UK who got a murder conviction changed to man slaughter, because of coercive control.

Sorry - being told you were booked because someone else wasn’t available (considering in mind we are not taking about that along with any other acts or behaviours) is hardly coercive control or abuse. I get it that it upsets some people, and I’ll warrant that tone dependent it might be considered rude, fine, but comparing it to DV, speaking as someone whose been a victim of DV, is frankly distasteful. Rudeness and abuse are not tantamount and I wouldn’t necessarily even think it rude if said in a neutral way. But then the truth of the matter doesn’t trouble me anyway.

  That's why I mentioned an off topic BBC docu...about CC.

Gina G was pointing out how it can escalate with certain personailty types, if you let it. That's the point I was emphasising. Not one punter saying something stupid. 

Within a few hours of working yesterday I had a client who's attitude & behavior was displaying grooming & boundary pushing testing games. He purposely did something he knew I didn't like to test my reaction. Being a victim of Domestic abuse myself, I speak from first hand experience. I also got rid of one regular recently who was very similar.

Picking a restaurant  because your first or second choice places were booked up is fine but you would not go to the manager/chef and tell him "yours is not my first choice" etc.  It is just a little bit rude.

No problem here as I said with being plan B or C but no need to be told. Simple as that.

Urgh, obviously, but that would be a sign you’d gone *out of your way* to offend. To make this offensive people seem to have to be goalpost shifting. And if it really is no problem at all to be plan B then I don’t see why it’s a problem to be told, simple as that.

Urgh, obviously, but that would be a sign you’d gone *out of your way* to offend. To make this offensive people seem to have to be goalpost shifting. And if it really is no problem at all to be plan B then I don’t see why it’s a problem to be told, simple as that.

You are missing out on the intention behind it. Why do they feel the need to say it? These guys are obviously trying to push buttons and speaking from experience behaviour always gets worse rarely does it get better. Bad behaviour starts small.. Maybe it will start with putting you in your place, God knows where it will end.. Which is not a place I would be sticking around to find out..

We all have different boundaries if we all had the same the world would be a pretty boring place. This however is one of mine and i am happy sticking to it. Screening a client doesnt just happen before a meet. I am continually screening my clients and no amount of 'wonga' would make me accept something that i feel totally unconfortable with. I make it very clear on my site that i will not accept this type of crap so if they turn up and start acting up they are obviously doing it to get a rise out of me. Its not going to happen and they will be told in no uncertain terms i am not here to be abused physically, emotionally or verbally. I am sure there are plenty of SW'ers that do so willingly so do yourself a favour and run along to one of them. I am not adverse to handing a client back his cash and putting him out the door as I am not so focused on making money that i would disregard my own mental health and continually putting up with clients putting me down would eventually effect my mental health and I doubt i would have lasted as long as i have in this world if i allowed myself to be treated this way.

If this type of behaviour does not bother you then happy days, like I said the world would be a boring place if we were all clone's. Accepting shitty behaviour for short term monatary gains would only result in burn out for me and I am not planning on letting that happen anytime soon,

Sin é Gina x