SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: ana30 on 18 October 2011, 02:59:11 pm
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So I'm about to blacklist a client. He was an OK'ish regular (calls me every couple of months). Very good looking rich kid who lives in the most posh area of the city. Always an outcall (basically I go to his mansion with a massage table when his parents are not there and give him a tantric massage). I'm assuming he lives with his parents because I don't think rich kid can afford a mansion with 3 bedrooms in super posh area.
So after going there a few times he texts me one day out of the blue and we have the following text conversation:
Him- Hi ana, i would like to know if you offer x-tra services besides tantric massage.
Me- no i don't. Sorry.
two weeks later I receive more texts and we engage in the following conversation:
Him- hi ana, I would like to know if you offer x-tras services besides tantric massage.
Me- Haven't we had this conversation before?
Him- Yes, we have.
Me- What part of "I don't offer any x-tras" you don't understand?
Him- Well, it's a pitty you don't. Problem is that I'm loosing interest in you . If I don't get "more than a hand job during our massage I'm going to have to stop calling you and find a replacement.
Me- I totally agree with you. I think you need to stop calling me and find someone else. It shouldn't be difficult for you.
(jerk)
End off.
So didn't heard from him in over a month. So I thought "Good riddance. He found a replacement". Problem is that he's started calling me again. And again. And again.
I just have a problem with people who try to push my limits (specially when emotional blackmail is involved). Then the little weasel -with-no-shame has the nerve to call me again acting like nothing happened. Ags. Problem is that this guy wants more stuff than "the menu offers" and I -sort -of- hurted his pride (listen looser: I wouldn't even fuck you for money). What if he tries to rape me next time? I can't go to the police stating I'm a sex worker who went on an outcall and got raped. I really don't know this guy. He might be some crazy rich kid. I don't feel that safe now going on this outcall.
I mean...the business is REALLY slow right now for October and I hate to blacklist a regular but I don't know what to do. Any thoughts would be appreciated
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Hi
Sorry that this is going to sound so blunt but - DONT SEE HIM!!!
He's already demonstrated that he cant respect your limits and you clearly cant reason with him. I understand that times are hard - I think they are for everyone - but no money is worth being this scared!
R xx
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What an absolute wanker. Don't see him again - men who think women just need a bit of "gentle nudging" in order to get them to follow orders nicely only get worse, not better. Or if you do see him, because of needing the money, make sure you've got a tight security setup (make calls to your buddy in front of him, etc) and stay incredibly alert. If possible, get your buddy to actually drive you there and wait outside.
By the way, if he did assault you in ANY way (trying to force any sort of sexual interaction that you do not consent to, or physically hurting you in any way) you can go to the police. Your job is not illegal and you should not expect to take the blame for a criminal committing criminal acts just because you've agreed to give him a tantric massage, so it would be the police's job to arrest this idiot should he do something seriously bad like that.
If I were you, I'd ignore every single communication from this creepy little toad, though. Doing a booking where the whole time you feel like you might vomit from fear and anxiety about the client's behaviour and attitude is worse than anything; I remember having 'stress stomach' from bad bookings back when I was new and so I listen to my gut more than ever now so I don't have to feel that way again!
Are you financially prepared to weather a bad month? Our business does ebb and flow. If you need to, you could consider options like a short-term loan or some of the other brilliant financial advice that's floating around this forum (sorry, brain's a bit fried from studying at the mo, but I know it's out there!). There are, thankfully, always other options than forcing yourself to see a horrid client. :)
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Yeah, don't see him. No matter how slow business is and so on it is not worth compromising on your boundaries. If he is pushing for extras before he even comes to see you then imagine how horrid he could be in an actual booking. :o :-X
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Blacklist him, that'll learn him
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Yeah, don't see him. No matter how slow business is and so on it is not worth compromising on your boundaries. If he is pushing for extras before he even comes to see you then imagine how horrid he could be in an actual booking. :o :-X
Totally agree with all that has been said. No amount of money is worth having to see this horrible horrible guy - I wanted to write something else but stopped myself.
Health before wealth is usually used when referring to BB girls but I think your safety is paramount in this situation.
Block his number if you can for texts as well as calls. I wouldn't see him no matter how desperate I was. Stay safe honey.
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Oh, yeah, what everybody else said.
I too have a particularly vile ex client, (tried to 'nudge' me into doing things I did NOT want to do when I was a newby), and I too am having a quieter time than usual, he still rings/texts from time to time (last time yesterday)
but I would not grant this arsehole an appointment if I was about to starve!
He's pushed you, you've said no. He's carried on pushing, so it's doubtful he's gonna stop the pushing if you allow him to be your client again.
Making the decision not to see him may seem like a luxury you can't afford at the mo, but believe me, it's better than working whilst feeling angry and resentful.
In my experience, just one mean client can colour your entire view of work, and end up making you resent all your clients.
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I can't go to the police stating I'm a sex worker who went on an outcall and got raped.
Yes you could! (But we hope you will never have to.)
I don't feel that safe now going on this outcall.
I mean...the business is REALLY slow right now for October and I hate to blacklist a regular but I don't know what to do. Any thoughts would be appreciated
As they've said, that's a huge sign not to go.
If you want to see him elsewhere and would be comfortable with that - it's fine either way - then he can pay for a hotel = people around in case of trouble. How comfortable would you be offering him something different that's not 'sex', such as tie and tease?
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Yes please don't see him, no amount of money is worth being in potential danger
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when i get a client trying to push boundaries before i have met them ( even if i have met them before ) it gets me a bit mad.... Then i have to stop and think am i being unreasonable or is it them being unreasonable to me is it pms time for me or are they being total assholes am i tired and not willing to put up with stuff that on a normal day wouldnt bother me in the least,
and my conclusion is that to is that to do this job you have to be in the right place, both mentally and physically 98 percent of the time and if im pissed off, annoyed, irritated, or just feeling pressured by the client before i have even got their/ met him ec then i will feel 1000, times worse when im actually with him It dosnt have to be a physicaly thing where im scared their going to do something it can be as simple as them refusing to listen to what im trying to patiently tell them or trying to turn up late by 30mins and not letting me know that they are going to be late
i like my appointments to run smoothly and to have a good laugh and time with the clients and give 1000 percent so that means i have to feel comfortable with the client, and relaxed if they have set me on edge beforehand then its no go for me
So please listen to your gut instincts, at the moment you can work, even if your not getting loads of business your still availble to work .... but if this twunt were to rape you or attack you , or assult you then seriously how quickly do you think you would be back to work both physcially and mentally speaking would it be next week, next month, next year, or maybe never ever go back an work again because you just couldnt face it because of what happend
Then you would be wishing that you didnt take this booking from the abnoxious twunt and his poxy ????
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Yuk what a sleaze ball wanker from hell. I once had a client who tried to put himself in me without a condom, I reacted quickly and hit him with my stilletto on the head. It was just a natural reaction....he did apologise but should not have pushed my boundaries. I agree with all the ladies block him and don't see him....
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thanks for the feedback. :-) yeah. let him find another masseuse.
I really didn't wanted to see him again but needed some reassurance. ;D
It's amazing how common sense goes down the drain when work gets slow.
Thanks again.
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It's amazing how common sense goes down the drain when work gets slow.
Thanks again.
Tell me about it!!! I've been a tad silly in these tough times...but NO more!
Glad you're not seeing him again:-)
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It's amazing how common sense goes down the drain when work gets slow.
Thanks again.
Tell me about it!!! I've been a tad silly in these tough times...but NO more!
Glad you're not seeing him again:-)
I second that!
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What a wanker.... (no pun intended!)
I agree with all the others.....go with the gut feeling and sack this one off. You have your limits for a reason x Hope you find a far nicer replacement x
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What brilliant advice and wisdom you can get on this site! Totally agree with everything said by the girls above, there is no way I'd see someone after they've clearly shown they've got wanker tendencies! Sly manipulative clients are the worst, there's no point in giving them the time of day once they've shown their true colours, as in my experience you'll always feel on edge. Far better to stick with the ones with whom you can relax and have fun! Totally agree with this:
In my experience, just one mean client can colour your entire view of work, and end up making you resent all your clients
Absolutely. There's nothing worse for your future business than putting yourself in danger of losing your enjoyment of the work by seeing him again and risking your safety.
Cara xx