SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: seraphine on 24 February 2018, 12:23:59 am
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I watch Netflix and eat Maltesers :D
To keep it relevant to the forum, I think knowing your limits booking wise and staying within them (or at least making a conscious decision to hammer it if you want to dor a particular reason) is the most important part of keeping healthy. A big part of that is recognising that other people's limits are not the same as yours and learning to tune out people who endlessly bang on about doing 15 (or 2!) bookings a day if it's not for you.
Possibly the least useful and constructive thing I can think of to do is sitting around agonising about what I feel like - it sounds unbelievably tedious and self obsessed and I can't honestly see it doing anything except making things worse. Obviously everybody's different and I'm just not that fascinating a subject to spend hours thinking about, but I'd much rather get out in the fresh air and engage with the real world :).
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I try to do a lot of bookings every day. Sometimes the phone doesn't cooperate, but if it's ringing, I'll try to be ready to take advantage.
In order to do this and maintain my sanity, I set rather strict working hours. I go to the gym and the grocery store every morning and I don't check my phone until my starting time. (Either 9 or 10 am, I need more sleep in the winter.) I tell clients "I answer my phone from 9 and take bookings from 10." I get asked for bookings at 9 a lot and I have to turn them down. I can't be ready that early without skipping something out like exercise or buying my food. I even like to have an hour to just relax on my bed - I'm often back in my room by 8. My mornings are important to me.
I keep high-protein food in my room so I can get through the day without getting hangry.
I am choosy about whom I see. Once I decide that I don't like the sound of someone, they're blocked.
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Lots of brisk walking in the fresh air is a must for me. I am a sad bitch because I know how many steps it is to the High Street and back, no need for a step counter as I have various destinations all counted so know I can do my 10k steps a day or near enough. Longer and proper walks from time to time too but I have a companion to share that with when we get our free time synchronized. I can cleanse myself of frustrations of the job and she likes to listen and give her input which I value very much.
The important thing about my solo walking is that I sort my head out when doing it and come close to talking aloud to myself which has not yet got me carted off to the nearest care home, which seem to be on every corner where I live!
I never thought of it all as self care but I suppose that is what it is.
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I definitely need time alone to get my head straight and not have to engage with people. I also like driving with the music on full blast x
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I started working for agencies 9 years ago I would work some stupid hours hardly had time for my self all bout the money and you dont realise how tiered your body gets I used to feel Lonely then I became Indie and would work from home and would tour some times I used to find my self become anti social and get down then 5 years ago I got a dog and he was like the best thing ever for me havent felt alone since . I see tours as little holidays for me and my dog but with the odd visitor ha . I usually work from 7 am till 8 pm when Im touring and in between clients Im out walking my dog I no longer feel anti social I got on little seaside holidays and relax alot .
I also love a good pamper my hair doing , my nails love a nice spa day and a glass of fizz in my hand . I did see a councellour a couple of years ago she works with sex workers and she was great . I look after my well being well all I have found that as I have got older I have got more paranoid bout safety . x
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It's very important to take care of yourself in order to thrive in this job.
I like to go for a massage once a week, or every second week. I get manicures and pedicures. Ok, it's mainly for work purposes but also very relaxing to sit and do nothing for 2 hours every week. I have started meditating again, which is wonderful to zone out and not focus on one particular thing. I also eat a very "healthy" diet which reduces the risk of me feeling like shit.
This week, I only worked 2 days (2 very full days) but as it was on the back of my days from last week's, I actually worked 5 days in a row, which is not good for me. I was scheduled to work a third day this week as I had an apartment, but as I had nothing solid scheduled and I was very tired, I decided to take the day off. I also hit my target by day 2 this week so I didn't feel guilty about not working. In the past, I would have ignored the warning signs of being too tired and worked away anyway but now I am very conscious of pushing myself too far and I am reluctant to do it.
Know your limits.
Eat and drink enough.
Exercise if you want to.
Pamper yourself now and again.
Do something that requires zero mental effort.
Oh and something else I have learned: don't squander your money because it can make you feel like you are working hard for absolutely zero return.
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I always get my acrylic nails done. I go for massages and I love little treats like bath bombs or face masks. I listen to music. At work I'm more fussy about who I see. If I don't like the sound of them I don't see them rather than giving them the benefit of the doubt. I eat 90% nutritious, healthy food and I go for walks. I have a limit of the amount of clients I will see in a day. Before even when tired and worn out I used to keep working then ended up over tired and feeling crap.
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I honestly don't have the time to worry about stuff like this! If I'm not busy with civvy work I always have a long to do list of stuff in the house etc.
I keep my sex work enjoyable by only providing the services I like, working when it suits me, and screening heavily.
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I honestly don't have the time to worry about stuff like this! If I'm not busy with civvy work I always have a long to do list of stuff in the house etc.
I keep my sex work enjoyable by only providing the services I like, working when it suits me, and screening heavily.
The point of self care is that you prioritise you for a change!! Do something just for you that isn't work or for anyone else
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Weekly nail appointments,buying little goodies for outside work like new dresses and candles (yankee junky)
I gym 2 times a week and see my closest friends for lunches and cocktails a couple of times a week!
I feel so lucky because i have several amazing clients i see regularly which never feels like work!xx
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The point of self care is that you prioritise you for a change!! Do something just for you that isn't work or for anyone else
I can't and won't try to speak for Kay, but I'm pretty sure I know what she means. I already prioritise myself twenty four hours a day and seven days a week just by living my life. This means I don't tend to think of 'self care' as a separate and specific activity complete with twee made-up name, because I'm too busy doing it.
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Self care for me is cutting down 50% of escorting feeling peace having other things to aspire to. We all interpret self care differently, also mindful thinking.
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I find sitting in salons boring and irritating. I do like a massage, because it feels good at the moment, but I prefer to do things that actually impart a lasting benefit. So, exercise (which I think of as a massage from the inside that also makes me look good.)
I definitely need time to myself and that's what my mornings are about. I literally will get back to my hotel room at 8am and lie down to relax for the hour, refusing to look at my work phone until then. Looking at messages is working and I don't clock in until 9.
On occasion, I have looked at my phone earlier, like at breakfast, and it just spoils the whole morning.
I don't care if I miss a booking because of it. When I started, I worked every day, abandoned meals uneaten just to run off to service some guy who wanted RIGHT NOW.
No more.
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I can't and won't try to speak for Kay, but I'm pretty sure I know what she means. I already prioritise myself twenty four hours a day and seven days a week just by living my life. This means I don't tend to think of 'self care' as a separate and specific activity complete with twee made-up name, because I'm too busy doing it.
No, you're spot on, Amy.
A). I sort of see it as a luxury I can't afford, but B). on the other hand it's something I fully incorporate into my day-to-day life. Just escorting and freelancing in my other job is a form of self-care for me, after 17 years of a hellish commute and stressful office job. Now, I can have a nanna nap whenever I want, get up when I want, go to bed when I want etc. etc. That does more good to my psychological health than e.g. inhaling sage smoke in an ashram (or whatever the kids are doing nowadays...)
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I do envy those who have been brought up with the idea that it's okay to a) put yourself first and b) feel your feelings.
Both of these are getting easier for me (particularly since starting sex work actually) but when you've been taught since childhood that you're not entitled to feel sad, angry or scared, it does take a genuine effort to check in with yourself and realise "Hey, I'm feeling angry, I should address that in a healthy way by going to the gym / taking a walk, rather than eating this large packet of Tesco bacon crunches."
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I do envy those who have been brought up with the idea that it's okay to a) put yourself first and b) feel your feelings.
Both of these are getting easier for me (particularly since starting sex work actually) but when you've been taught since childhood that you're not entitled to feel sad, angry or scared, it does take a genuine effort to check in with yourself and realise "Hey, I'm feeling angry, I should address that in a healthy way by going to the gym / taking a walk, rather than eating this large packet of Tesco bacon crunches."
Breaking free will help you move forward in life meant in a good way to help. Self love/care to me is vital not relying on others to get. Or if I did many dissapointments will follow.
My heart/feelings guide me and am very grateful tapping into.
Many search for happiness on the outside, take that away what is left?.
At escort support drop in a few weeks ago she said she can afford x yand z escorting. I said and what else?. Silence. I jumped in saying I have peace.
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I do envy those who have been brought up with the idea that it's okay to a) put yourself first and b) feel your feelings.
Both of these are getting easier for me (particularly since starting sex work actually) but when you've been taught since childhood that you're not entitled to feel sad, angry or scared, it does take a genuine effort to check in with yourself and realise "Hey, I'm feeling angry, I should address that in a healthy way by going to the gym / taking a walk, rather than eating this large packet of Tesco bacon crunches."
I wasn't brought up or taught to even think about anything like this and the general consensus would have been that you were sitting around wondering about how you were feeling and whether that was OK and what you ought to do about it then you likely had far too much time on your hands. I have literally never heard anybody I know say anything even remotely like the above and I'll be surprised if I ever do. I never took a blind bit of notice of anything I was told anyway but it's just not a subject that would ever have come up :).
Maybe it is an upbringing thing, but I'd guess it was more to do with being broke and having to concern ourselves with whether there was food and light in the house and if we had something warm to wear to school than pondering whether or not we might be a bit pissed off and what (if anything) we ought to conclude from this. Just getting on with being pissed off is quicker.
And there is nothing wrong with bacon crunches, unless you could have had salt and vinegar twists :D
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Its better to do any thing in moderation imo. Thinking too much about yourself is not healthy. Sometimes i do and end up feeling worse than before. I acknowledge the fact that i have more free time than an average person around me and doing better financially due to this job.
I am able to spend time/money on things many cant afford and it makes me feel thankful. Just like other ladies i am into netflix, healthy eating, gym, yoga, makeup shopping, been able to treat loved ones and living life on my own terms, i see it as self care.
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Have to get back in shape and be healthier for me .
I want to work for as long as possible in terms of years so to still enjoy escorting .
Regular check ups and time out for myself .
not put uneseccary expectations on myself in terms of daily targets and try to save some money.
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Have to get back in shape and be healthier for me .
I want to work for as long as possible in terms of years so to still enjoy escorting .
Regular check ups and time out for myself .
not put uneseccary expectations on myself in terms of daily targets and try to save some money.
+1
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I do envy those who have been brought up with the idea that it's okay to a) put yourself first and b) feel your feelings.
Both of these are getting easier for me (particularly since starting sex work actually) but when you've been taught since childhood that you're not entitled to feel sad, angry or scared, it does take a genuine effort to check in with yourself and realise "Hey, I'm feeling angry, I should address that in a healthy way by going to the gym / taking a walk, rather than eating this large packet of Tesco bacon crunches."
Yes! This is what i am trying to change.. Eating or drinking to numb uncomfortable feelings. Trying to work through them rather than avoiding,with healthier self care i guess.
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I wasn't brought up or taught to even think about anything like this and the general consensus would have been that you were sitting around wondering about how you were feeling and whether that was OK and what you ought to do about it then you likely had far too much time on your hands. I have literally never heard anybody I know say anything even remotely like the above and I'll be surprised if I ever do. I never took a blind bit of notice of anything I was told anyway but it's just not a subject that would ever have come up :).
Maybe it is an upbringing thing, but I'd guess it was more to do with being broke and having to concern ourselves with whether there was food and light in the house and if we had something warm to wear to school than pondering whether or not we might be a bit pissed off and what (if anything) we ought to conclude from this. Just getting on with being pissed off is quicker.
And there is nothing wrong with bacon crunches, unless you could have had salt and vinegar twists :D
I think what VC was saying is that some people are raised to believe that their feelings and wellbeing do NOT matter. That they should put their needs and feelings after others. It doesn't apply to me, but I definitely know that there are many who have literally been raised to believe that they have no right to feel anything or assert anything contrary to what someone More Important raised them to believe was more important.
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I think what VC was saying is that some people are raised to believe that their feelings and wellbeing do NOT matter. That they should put their needs and feelings after others. It doesn't apply to me, but I definitely know that there are many who have literally been raised to believe that they have no right to feel anything or assert anything contrary to what someone More Important raised them to believe was more important.
Yes, I've been brought up to put everyone except myself first. This mindset has caused endless amounts of hassle for me, especially in today's selfish society.
Now, finally by doing this job I have learned to put myself first over everyone else :)
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This is really important for me. In a way, escorting has made it easier for me to look after my mental health because I am in charge of my hours and don?t have to commute, do what anybody else tells me but I have found some aspects really difficult.
I take time off frequently and just chill, do whatever I want to do. I used to try and get as many bookings as I could on the days I work, now if I only have one booking that?s ok because it gives me more time to do things at home. I only work set hours/days and am getting more confident in saying what I do/don?t want to do and sticking to it because I know how it feels to lose control and there?s no need for this job to stress me out.
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TI think what VC was saying is that some people are raised to believe that their feelings and wellbeing do NOT matter. That they should put their needs and feelings after others. It doesn't apply to me, but I definitely know that there are many who have literally been raised to believe that they have no right to feel anything or assert anything contrary to what someone More Important raised them to believe was more important.
This is literally what I meant so thank you DD.
Sex work has helped immeasurably with this and I am grateful every day for it.
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Finally managed to sort my neck and back pain out after a massage I did some time ago on a client .
Had been in acute pain for ages after
I got a v shape pillow from wilko ?8.00 it's amazing the pains all gone just hope I don't injure myself again. ;)
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my self-care and my anxiety regime are the same thing
-gardening and obsessing about my garden
-trying to develop my creative and life projects
-buying random shit i don't need
-sitting in bed in tracksuit and watching netflicks
-reminding myself it's ok to cancel or rearrange appointments when i'm not feeling up to it (tell myself it's for the good of the client as no one wants moody stressed me turning up at their place)
-cuddles with loverboy
-playing and hanging out with my friends kids
-experimenting with herbal teas and remedies
-magnesium supplements have helped my anxiety a lot
-bought a hammam exfoliation glove for 2quid and my shower routine is now pure luxury
This is really important for me. In a way, escorting has made it easier for me to look after my mental health because I am in charge of my hours and don?t have to commute, do what anybody else tells me but I have found some aspects really difficult.
I take time off frequently and just chill, do whatever I want to do. I used to try and get as many bookings as I could on the days I work, now if I only have one booking that?s ok because it gives me more time to do things at home. I only work set hours/days and am getting more confident in saying what I do/don?t want to do and sticking to it because I know how it feels to lose control and there?s no need for this job to stress me out.
totally with you on this; sex work has helped me feel in control of my life again and is giving me the money and confidence to finally get back on my feet after a difficult couple of years
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Sex work has helped me to look after myself so much better mentally and physically.
I follow a skill called PLEASE from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy which I undertook 4 years ago.
Physical iLlness/wellness - take care of yourself - treat things that are wrong promptly and keep up with health maintenance - ie: Dentist, GU clinic, Optom etc.
Eat - regular balanced and generally healthy food. Food is fuel - I can't work after eating too much but I make sure I have high protein breakfast and light lunch to keep myself going.
Avoid - mood altering substances unless prescribed. I have stopped all substance misuse. Limited my alcohol intake which has done me wonders. I limit coffee to first thing in the morning. Last thing to work on is the nicotine addiction!
Sleep - have regular bedtime and getting up time. Have good sleep hygiene routine.
Exercise - I've taken up yoga and I try to walk to the bank, nail appointments, hair etc. Try to get out for a walk on non-rainy days and do yoga classes and in my room.
Such simple things but if I let them slide then things can go mentally downhill for me pretty quickly. I personally need to be conscious and thoughtful about my mental well-being due to previous issues but find that having followed these simple things and practicing mindfulness I am able to keep myself pretty well within the job.
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Exercise - (...) I try to walk to the bank,
That's my favourite form of exercise too :D
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That's my favourite form of exercise too :D
I know - doubly satisfying right ;D
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Prioritising yourself isn't even selfish:
Think of the pre-flight safety instructions. In the event of loss of cabin pressure, you're told to put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping any young children you may be travelling with. Without oxygen for yourself you will be no use to anyone else.
It's commonly talked about that mother's put their needs behind the needs of their families.
I go to the gym a lot. I see a lot of 30-something men with wedding rings at the gym. However, I mostly see women in their 20's and then women over 50. I see relatively few women of child-rearing age. Their husbands are there! They have time to go work out because their wives are doing the childcare and cooking dinner for when they get home.
I think women are generally raised to be people pleasers. Men are encouraged to be selfish. This is reflected in the pay gap: men demand more salary, men take credit for their accomplishments (and sometimes their female colleagues accomplishments) and tell everyone about them. Men don't take time off work to care for children or aging parents. They do what suits them and they thrive. They occupy space without apology (look up "manspreading") and move through the world confident that they are entitled to more money, more free time, and more physical space.
So don't be afraid to claim your own money, time and space. There may be blowback from those who think you're being "selfish" because you're not conforming to the selfless, nurturing role. But prostitution means not having to play by those roles anymore.
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Whilst it is important to look after the physical side of yourself, I believe it is equally important to look after your mental wellbeing.
The pressure of not being able to call up your mother after a bad day in the office and the weight of living such a duplicitous existence can cause a lot of girls to crack.
As has been previously mentioned you MUST look after your emotional wellbeing in this job to thrive.
I write. Logs, writing is my thing. And I post them on my AW and I do get such positive feedback for them. If something is niggling away at me I take to my laptop and channel it. I also have a couple of trusted friends who know what I do that I can call up and have a rant to.
It is so important not to mask any feelings that come up as a result of this job as they will only manifest into something more pernicious.
I also divert all calls between 11-7am and I am much less stressed for this. The phone still rings of course but least it's not disturbing my criminal minds and coffee binge. I have to switch off. This forum helps too.
Stay safe (mentally) ladies xx
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Prioritising yourself isn't even selfish:
Think of the pre-flight safety instructions. In the event of loss of cabin pressure, you're told to put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping any young children you may be travelling with. Without oxygen for yourself you will be no use to anyone else.
It's commonly talked about that mother's put their needs behind the needs of their families.
I go to the gym a lot. I see a lot of 30-something men with wedding rings at the gym. However, I mostly see women in their 20's and then women over 50. I see relatively few women of child-rearing age. Their husbands are there! They have time to go work out because their wives are doing the childcare and cooking dinner for when they get home.
I think women are generally raised to be people pleasers. Men are encouraged to be selfish. This is reflected in the pay gap: men demand more salary, men take credit for their accomplishments (and sometimes their female colleagues accomplishments) and tell everyone about them. Men don't take time off work to care for children or aging parents. They do what suits them and they thrive. They occupy space without apology (look up "manspreading") and move through the world confident that they are entitled to more money, more free time, and more physical space.
So don't be afraid to claim your own money, time and space. There may be blowback from those who think you're being "selfish" because you're not conforming to the selfless, nurturing role. But prostitution means not having to play by those roles anymore.
Wow!! Just LOVE this post. Totally agree. I think i may actually join the bloody gym. I feel guilty ALL the time for being a working mum, guilty for enjoying my job when busy because I'm not with the kids, and then guilty for not earning enough when it's quiet and they have ME but I'm cranky worrying about the bills. Plus I am bored out of my mind every weekend at home with them. They are at the age where they want me in the background but not to actually do things with!!
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Exercise is my sanity. I was telling a friend recently that obsessing over my new workout routines is awesome precisely because it's narcissistic. I spend an hour or two every morning being completely self centered.
I have missed many bookings because of this - I can't start until 10 or 11 and I'm always turning away requests for earlier. But if I took them, my mental health would suffer, not only because exercise is great for the mood but because the line between my personal life and my work had been breached. "Can't you take that 8am booking and go for a jog later?" Ah no! "Later" the phone will still be ringing. No matter what time I try to claim for myself, someone will call me and whinge that it's the only time he can make it.
For me, I feel most calm when I set clear boundaries on my time. If I indulge myself selfishly in the morning, follow it up with my breakfast and shower routine, then turn my phone on at start time, I have the mental and emotional reserves to see as many clients as possible.
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I think that is a brilliant way to do it daisyduck. I am getting better at these boundary issues all the time since starting this job.I realise the better boundaries we have and maintain the more happy and easy life is.like you say someone is always moaning at us about something but ultimately saying no makes them respect us in the longterm
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I can definitely agree with others on here who have said that sexwork has helped them to concentrate on their own needs first. Although I am in a quite different context from many as I am a single parent with no family support and no help from the ex but at least my boy is getting older now.
Soon I shall be working 3 full days in a hotel so that will free up 2 days of the week more for myself.
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Self care for me means taking time out to do things for myself, and not carrying my work phone. If I've had a busy day, Ill take a very long bath and meditate for a little bit, before getting into a freshly made bed :) x
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I really appreciate this post.
My addictive personality type lead me to become completely obsessed with this work, and earning more money. Working from home makes it especially challenging to draw the work and home life balance - I even work and sleep in the same bes! I pushed myself to be available for bookings every day, and on the days I wasn’t taking bookings I would work on my website. I stopped socialing, stopped exercising, stopped cooking... and stopped living life!
My poor brain was never getting a break from work!
Suddenly both my brain and body screamed NO! I reached a point of burn out and had to cancel bookings. I’ve just taken just over a week off to rejuvenate my mind and body and feel more connected with the outside worlds. .
Last week I attended a workshop on boundaries - this made me realise that I have not been true to myself in work life or personal life. Made me realise I Spend a lot of time giving to people I don’t want to. This plagues my mind with resentment. Boundaries are incredibly important in this line of work. I sometimes tolerated late arrivals, rudeness, people pushing for extras. By not saying NO to these clients I was not practicing self care.
The workshop brought up a lot of emotions- over the past week I have filled a notebook with my thoughts, and emotions. As it has already been mentioned on this thread- I agree emotional awareness and being able to identify emotions is critical for mental well being and self care.
I Realised that I had been using work to drown my negative emotions rather than feeling them. At the time I didn’t realise this. My attitude toward work has changed. Of course, I still want to earn a nice income. However. I will limit myself to a set amount of bookings per week, and make sure I have time to myself to do things which nourish me physically and mentally.
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I have noticed that my self care has improved immensly since breaking away from escorting. I feel more vibrant and my confidence improves the longer away from it.
With my future set up is on the ball roll. This is what my living the dream is all about.
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I tried the floatation tank therapy yesterday it was an amazing hour exoerience .
The salts help heal and elevate the mind and body .
I felt fantastic after
Defiantly going back for more sessions . :)
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I tried the floatation tank therapy yesterday it was an amazing hour exoerience .
The salts help heal and elevate the mind and body .
I felt fantastic after
Defiantly going back for more sessions . :)
This is something I really want to try.
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ahh shoot
took a month off as had wisdom teeth out and some personal issues, was doing fine
just come back to work and dealing with some champion time wasters, feeling all anxious over again, i hate these guys who bombard you with texts/mails, do they not undertsand how stressful it is, i'm like leave me alone you sad fucks i'm weeding my tomatoes in the sunshine
i want that money! and good clients who don't aggravate my depression!
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I'll do at least 30 minutes of yoga & back/core strengthening exercises before starting work. I have to be careful when I answer the phone though to clients straight after because it often releases trapped anger & if they ask a stupid question I'll get impatient.
If anyone has been through trauma I highly recommend Yoga for the Psoas muscles. It's really helpful at opening the hips up, particularly when straddling large men too! "The Vital Psoas Muscle" is a very good book. It's helped me with PTSD from a traumatic birth.
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I love to bid first thing in the morning while i have my coffee then go to the gym doing abit of swimming sauna and gym weights etc so nice then to come back and deal with enquiries. I have noticed you always get all the idiots in the same week. i always have an amazing week and feel so lucky to have amazing clients and all of a sudden all the idiots appear. The other day I didnt work in the day and was wide awake in the mid evening sort of 9pm so i thought ill see whats on there. saw a reverse booking from a client whom i have seen 3/4 times before and his rb said this is a last minute booking really hoping someone can come for 10.30 pm and his bids were empty so i thought to my self wow this is so convenient i can be there on time and i know him as a sort of regular so no issues. so i bid and message him and asked how he was etc and that i was free, then for no reason he starts dragging out the emails and saying ohh i think its too late for you driving back etc as it was a 3 hour booking so i would have got home about 1.30 am which really wasnt an issue as im a big girl and capable of knowing if im able to drive home after work. This guy has drove my patients before but this time i lost it and i was just like if you dont want to do the booking then just say you dont want to forfill the rb instead of bullshitting me in aw messages for the last 90 min as i could have taken another booking or spared the wind up. total horrible people then he deleted my message and i just blocked him after that. total time wasters. Mental health always first
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such a good post!!!
as many have mentioned I also go for massages, exercise and saunas and steam room. my absolute go to is hot bath with epsom salt and magnesium flakes, I take a bolster in it and usually fall asleep, and I put a nice sheet facemask. wake up rejuvenated as a fresh spring morning:)
to ensure that my mind and emotions get also the nourishment and attention, I also have once a month supervision with a sexological bodyworker. studying my own erotic self, boundaries and consent ( learning to say no, mostly :)) has become huge support for me at work.
in the past I also used to go to a therapist and that helped me to let go of the stuck emotions.
two weeks ago I started hypnotherapy and even though I went initially for eating disorder, now we started working on self-esteem, confidence and erasing people pleasing. I already feel Im more centred and less swayed when I am working.
Ive noticed that when Im lighter emotionally, all clients are supernice! when Im a bit sticky and anxious, I get the more difficult ones. so I am super adamant to look after my emotions so I have easy worklife:)
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Ha!.., so true. I don't know how it works but it does. It's like you're attracting the experiences that reflect your inner state.
Mind over matter ;)
This is the "law of attraction". Apparently if we feel great we attract great stuff, and the opposite applies. So we need to work on loving ourselves first!
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Hoping to start going for a run before work - hopefully it will help me lose weight and empty my mind and chill me out. Hopefully!!
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oh and I totally forgot this one but its one of the best things ever - I started attending kickboxing classes. I found a center that provides morning classes and it's soooo good - in there you have to kick and scream and shout and punch. it's amazing!! im chilled like an iceberg afterwards:))
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Best selfcare for me involves taking time off. Switch my phone off and forget about work. Then try to stop myself worrying about lost income. (workaholic right here). Escorting can deplete you and need that time to replenish.
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oh and I totally forgot this one but its one of the best things ever - I started attending kickboxing classes. I found a center that provides morning classes and it's soooo good - in there you have to kick and scream and shout and punch. it's amazing!! im chilled like an iceberg afterwards:))
That sounds great.
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This is the "law of attraction". Apparently if we feel great we attract great stuff, and the opposite applies. So we need to work on loving ourselves first!
It is certainly the case that negativity attracts negativity.
I'm not sure I buy the whole "law of attraction" thing in toto, but I've definitely noticed that people who have profiles written negatively (I won't do this, I don't do that, don't even ask me about the other) report much higher ratios of time wasters and unpleasant clients.
(This also applies to dating profiles)
When you write your profile in a positive way, e.g. "I enjoy X activity, I love to meet gentlemen who do Y, please contact me to arrange Z" you will attract people who are drawn to that positive energy and have resonated with something you've written.
In terms of everyday life, I notice that I have a much happier day if I remind myself to be nice to people, especially women. A simple "Thanks, you've been really helpful [name]" to a call centre operator makes both of us happy. We deal predominately with men as clients so making simple social connections/interactions with other women can help to balance the scale.
I probably sound like a total hippy right now!! But seriously just saying "How's your day been, have you got long to go" to the Tesco checkout lady can make a massive difference to both of your days.
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It is certainly the case that negativity attracts negativity.
I'm not sure I buy the whole "law of attraction" thing in toto, but I've definitely noticed that people who have profiles written negatively (I won't do this, I don't do that, don't even ask me about the other) report much higher ratios of time wasters and unpleasant clients.
(This also applies to dating profiles)
When you write your profile in a positive way, e.g. "I enjoy X activity, I love to meet gentlemen who do Y, please contact me to arrange Z" you will attract people who are drawn to that positive energy and have resonated with something you've written.
In terms of everyday life, I notice that I have a much happier day if I remind myself to be nice to people, especially women. A simple "Thanks, you've been really helpful [name]" to a call centre operator makes both of us happy. We deal predominately with men as clients so making simple social connections/interactions with other women can help to balance the scale.
I probably sound like a total hippy right now!! But seriously just saying "How's your day been, have you got long to go" to the Tesco checkout lady can make a massive difference to both of your days.
Totally agree. And compared to alot of people I know that isn't at all hippy ish lol
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If I may add a link here...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wN8A1RUR5E
It's a mini webinar called 'Self care for sex workers', made by SWOP USA.
How cool is that :) Basic information but really nice.
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I prioritise myself before clients. Yes, they are paying for me, but I stick to what I like. If they don't like this they can jog on and book someone else. The sad fucks who try and bomb bard me with texts/calls I tell them to either book through AW, ask if they want details so they can pay direct or go annoy someone else, they wouldn't annoy their solicitor like this and not expect to be billed so don't try with me.
I don't sit in all day waiting for the phone to ring. I have a dual sim mobile. I have set hours and days that I work, and I use these hours to see clients, update sites etc. I ran a business many moons ago and had this approach then, so seemed logical to carry on. It also means that I can switch off mentally as everything has been done. Because of the phone, it also means I can pack up and take myself off to a coffee shop for an hour for a change of scenery and still work (I chose a big place in a quiet corner and even manage to talk sex chat calls lol). DirectIm, I set a couple of hours a week over a couple of days so I can do that and sort out paperwork.
I meet up once a week with a friend for a very long lunch.
I meet up once every week or two with another friend and we go sauna and spend hours there.
I meet up a couple of times a week with loverboy.
The above 3 know what I do, so I don't have to hide anything and can relax fully. Spa guy often steps in as my driver when my usual guy isn't available.
I get out for a walk every day.
I listen to music. I read. I study (currently doing a business and admin course. It free. And October continue with OU)
I also do mixed martial arts. Have done so for years, started just before I started doing this.
These are the reasons why I choose SE work to employed it allows for this amount of flexibility so I can earn, have time for myself and not neglect the children.
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i am also doing OU