Author Topic: Self-care [for sex workers] (Read 8191 times)

Marianne · « **Reply #30 on:** 29 March 2018, 01:16:26 pm »

Sex work has helped me to look after myself so much better mentally and physically.

I follow a skill called PLEASE from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy which I undertook 4 years ago.

Physical iLlness/wellness - take care of yourself - treat things that are wrong promptly and keep up with health maintenance - ie: Dentist, GU clinic, Optom etc.

Eat - regular balanced and generally healthy food. Food is fuel - I can't work after eating too much but I make sure I have high protein breakfast and light lunch to keep myself going.

Avoid - mood altering substances unless prescribed. I have stopped all substance misuse. Limited my alcohol intake which has done me wonders. I limit coffee to first thing in the morning. Last thing to work on is the nicotine addiction!

Sleep - have regular bedtime and getting up time. Have good sleep hygiene routine.

Exercise - I've taken up yoga and I try to walk to the bank, nail appointments, hair etc. Try to get out for a walk on non-rainy days and do yoga classes and in my room.

Such simple things but if I let them slide then things can go mentally downhill for me pretty quickly. I personally need to be conscious and thoughtful about my mental well-being due to previous issues but find that having followed these simple things and practicing mindfulness I am able to keep myself pretty well within the job.

seraphine · « **Reply #31 on:** 29 March 2018, 01:25:47 pm »

Quote from: Marianne on 29 March 2018, 01:16:26 pm

Exercise - (...) I try to walk to the bank,

That's my favourite form of exercise too

Marianne · « **Reply #32 on:** 29 March 2018, 01:36:16 pm »

Quote from: 80s synthetic on 29 March 2018, 01:25:47 pm

That's my favourite form of exercise too

I know - doubly satisfying right

seraphine · « **Reply #33 on:** 30 March 2018, 12:32:28 pm »

DaisyDuck · « **Reply #34 on:** 15 April 2018, 08:06:10 am »

Prioritising yourself isn't even selfish:

Think of the pre-flight safety instructions. In the event of loss of cabin pressure, you're told to put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping any young children you may be travelling with. Without oxygen for yourself you will be no use to anyone else.

It's commonly talked about that mother's put their needs behind the needs of their families.

I go to the gym a lot. I see a lot of 30-something men with wedding rings at the gym. However, I mostly see women in their 20's and then women over 50. I see relatively few women of child-rearing age. Their husbands are there! They have time to go work out because their wives are doing the childcare and cooking dinner for when they get home.

I think women are generally raised to be people pleasers. Men are encouraged to be selfish. This is reflected in the pay gap: men demand more salary, men take credit for their accomplishments (and sometimes their female colleagues accomplishments) and tell everyone about them. Men don't take time off work to care for children or aging parents. They do what suits them and they thrive. They occupy space without apology (look up "manspreading") and move through the world confident that they are entitled to more money, more free time, and more physical space.

So don't be afraid to claim your own money, time and space. There may be blowback from those who think you're being "selfish" because you're not conforming to the selfless, nurturing role. But prostitution means not having to play by those roles anymore.

CandyPop69 · « **Reply #35 on:** 15 April 2018, 01:13:41 pm »

Whilst it is important to look after the physical side of yourself, I believe it is equally important to look after your mental wellbeing.
The pressure of not being able to call up your mother after a bad day in the office and the weight of living such a duplicitous existence can cause a lot of girls to crack.
As has been previously mentioned you MUST look after your emotional wellbeing in this job to thrive.
I write. Logs, writing is my thing. And I post them on my AW and I do get such positive feedback for them. If something is niggling away at me I take to my laptop and channel it. I also have a couple of trusted friends who know what I do that I can call up and have a rant to.
It is so important not to mask any feelings that come up as a result of this job as they will only manifest into something more pernicious.
I also divert all calls between 11-7am and I am much less stressed for this. The phone still rings of course but least it's not disturbing my criminal minds and coffee binge. I have to switch off. This forum helps too.

Stay safe (mentally) ladies xx

sultress000 · « **Reply #36 on:** 15 April 2018, 08:11:46 pm »

Quote from: DaisyDuck on 15 April 2018, 08:06:10 am

Prioritising yourself isn't even selfish:

Think of the pre-flight safety instructions. In the event of loss of cabin pressure, you're told to put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping any young children you may be travelling with. Without oxygen for yourself you will be no use to anyone else.

It's commonly talked about that mother's put their needs behind the needs of their families.

I go to the gym a lot. I see a lot of 30-something men with wedding rings at the gym. However, I mostly see women in their 20's and then women over 50. I see relatively few women of child-rearing age. Their husbands are there! They have time to go work out because their wives are doing the childcare and cooking dinner for when they get home.

I think women are generally raised to be people pleasers. Men are encouraged to be selfish. This is reflected in the pay gap: men demand more salary, men take credit for their accomplishments (and sometimes their female colleagues accomplishments) and tell everyone about them. Men don't take time off work to care for children or aging parents. They do what suits them and they thrive. They occupy space without apology (look up "manspreading") and move through the world confident that they are entitled to more money, more free time, and more physical space.

So don't be afraid to claim your own money, time and space. There may be blowback from those who think you're being "selfish" because you're not conforming to the selfless, nurturing role. But prostitution means not having to play by those roles anymore.

Wow!! Just LOVE this post. Totally agree. I think i may actually join the bloody gym. I feel guilty ALL the time for being a working mum, guilty for enjoying my job when busy because I'm not with the kids, and then guilty for not earning enough when it's quiet and they have ME but I'm cranky worrying about the bills. Plus I am bored out of my mind every weekend at home with them. They are at the age where they want me in the background but not to actually do things with!!

DaisyDuck · « **Reply #37 on:** 15 April 2018, 09:30:58 pm »

Exercise is my sanity. I was telling a friend recently that obsessing over my new workout routines is awesome precisely because it's narcissistic. I spend an hour or two every morning being completely self centered.

I have missed many bookings because of this - I can't start until 10 or 11 and I'm always turning away requests for earlier. But if I took them, my mental health would suffer, not only because exercise is great for the mood but because the line between my personal life and my work had been breached. "Can't you take that 8am booking and go for a jog later?" Ah no! "Later" the phone will still be ringing. No matter what time I try to claim for myself, someone will call me and whinge that it's the only time he can make it.

For me, I feel most calm when I set clear boundaries on my time. If I indulge myself selfishly in the morning, follow it up with my breakfast and shower routine, then turn my phone on at start time, I have the mental and emotional reserves to see as many clients as possible.

sultress000 · « **Reply #38 on:** 16 April 2018, 01:09:37 am »

I think that is a brilliant way to do it daisyduck. I am getting better at these boundary issues all the time since starting this job.I realise the better boundaries we have and maintain the more happy and easy life is.like you say someone is always moaning at us about something but ultimately saying no makes them respect us in the longterm

Lushblossom · « **Reply #39 on:** 17 April 2018, 05:40:08 am »

I can definitely agree with others on here who have said that sexwork has helped them to concentrate on their own needs first. Although I am in a quite different context from many as I am a single parent with no family support and no help from the ex but at least my boy is getting older now.

Soon I shall be working 3 full days in a hotel so that will free up 2 days of the week more for myself.

DarcyLady · « **Reply #40 on:** 19 April 2018, 10:21:25 pm »

Self care for me means taking time out to do things for myself, and not carrying my work phone. If I've had a busy day, Ill take a very long bath and meditate for a little bit, before getting into a freshly made bed

x

Iloveginandtonic · « **Reply #41 on:** 20 April 2018, 08:03:40 am »

I really appreciate this post.

My addictive personality type lead me to become completely obsessed with this work, and earning more money. Working from home makes it especially challenging to draw the work and home life balance - I even work and sleep in the same bes! I pushed myself to be available for bookings every day, and on the days I wasn’t taking bookings I would work on my website. I stopped socialing, stopped exercising, stopped cooking... and stopped living life!

My poor brain was never getting a break from work!

Suddenly both my brain and body screamed NO! I reached a point of burn out and had to cancel bookings. I’ve just taken just over a week off to rejuvenate my mind and body and feel more connected with the outside worlds. .

Last week I attended a workshop on boundaries - this made me realise that I have not been true to myself in work life or personal life. Made me realise I Spend a lot of time giving to people I don’t want to. This plagues my mind with resentment. Boundaries are incredibly important in this line of work. I sometimes tolerated late arrivals, rudeness, people pushing for extras. By not saying NO to these clients I was not practicing self care.

The workshop brought up a lot of emotions- over the past week I have filled a notebook with my thoughts, and emotions. As it has already been mentioned on this thread- I agree emotional awareness and being able to identify emotions is critical for mental well being and self care.

I Realised that I had been using work to drown my negative emotions rather than feeling them. At the time I didn’t realise this. My attitude toward work has changed. Of course, I still want to earn a nice income. However. I will limit myself to a set amount of bookings per week, and make sure I have time to myself to do things which nourish me physically and mentally.

Meetingdiversity · « **Reply #42 on:** 20 April 2018, 09:59:34 am »

I have noticed that my self care has improved immensly since breaking away from escorting. I feel more vibrant and my confidence improves the longer away from it.

With my future set up is on the ball roll. This is what my living the dream is all about.

Rosesugar · « **Reply #43 on:** 20 April 2018, 01:04:27 pm »

I tried the floatation tank therapy yesterday it was an amazing hour exoerience .
The salts help heal and elevate the mind and body .
I felt fantastic after
Defiantly going back for more sessions .

DaisyDuck · « **Reply #44 on:** 20 April 2018, 02:54:28 pm »

Quote from: Sugar xxx on 20 April 2018, 01:04:27 pm

I tried the floatation tank therapy yesterday it was an amazing hour exoerience .
The salts help heal and elevate the mind and body .
I felt fantastic after
Defiantly going back for more sessions .

This is something I really want to try.

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: Self-care [for sex workers] (Read 8191 times)

Marianne

Re: Self-care [for sex workers]

seraphine

Re: Self-care [for sex workers]

Marianne

Re: Self-care [for sex workers]

seraphine

Re: Self-care [for sex workers]

DaisyDuck

Re: Self-care [for sex workers]

CandyPop69

Re: Self-care [for sex workers]

sultress000

Re: Self-care [for sex workers]

DaisyDuck

Re: Self-care [for sex workers]

sultress000

Re: Self-care [for sex workers]

Lushblossom

Re: Self-care [for sex workers]

DarcyLady

Re: Self-care [for sex workers]

Iloveginandtonic

Re: Self-care [for sex workers]

Meetingdiversity

Re: Self-care [for sex workers]

Rosesugar

Re: Self-care [for sex workers]

DaisyDuck

Re: Self-care [for sex workers]