I find sitting in salons boring and irritating. I do like a massage, because it feels good at the moment, but I prefer to do things that actually impart a lasting benefit. So, exercise (which I think of as a massage from the inside that also makes me look good.)

I definitely need time to myself and that's what my mornings are about. I literally will get back to my hotel room at 8am and lie down to relax for the hour, refusing to look at my work phone until then. Looking at messages is working and I don't clock in until 9.

On occasion, I have looked at my phone earlier, like at breakfast, and it just spoils the whole morning.

I don't care if I miss a booking because of it. When I started, I worked every day, abandoned meals uneaten just to run off to service some guy who wanted RIGHT NOW.

No more.

I do envy those who have been brought up with the idea that it's okay to a) put yourself first and b) feel your feelings.

Both of these are getting easier for me (particularly since starting sex work actually) but when you've been taught since childhood that you're not entitled to feel sad, angry or scared, it does take a genuine effort to check in with yourself and realise "Hey, I'm feeling angry, I should address that in a healthy way by going to the gym / taking a walk, rather than eating this large packet of Tesco bacon crunches."

I do envy those who have been brought up with the idea that it's okay to a) put yourself first and b) feel your feelings.

Both of these are getting easier for me (particularly since starting sex work actually) but when you've been taught since childhood that you're not entitled to feel sad, angry or scared, it does take a genuine effort to check in with yourself and realise "Hey, I'm feeling angry, I should address that in a healthy way by going to the gym / taking a walk, rather than eating this large packet of Tesco bacon crunches."

I wasn't brought up or taught to even think about anything like this and the general consensus would have been that you were sitting around wondering about how you were feeling and whether that was OK and what you ought to do about it then you likely had far too much time on your hands. I have literally never heard anybody I know say anything even remotely like the above and I'll be surprised if I ever do. I never took a blind bit of notice of anything I was told anyway but it's just not a subject that would ever have come up .

Maybe it is an upbringing thing, but I'd guess it was more to do with being broke and having to concern ourselves with whether there was food and light in the house and if we had something warm to wear to school than pondering whether or not we might be a bit pissed off and what (if anything) we ought to conclude from this. Just getting on with being pissed off is quicker.

And there is nothing wrong with bacon crunches, unless you could have had salt and vinegar twists

Have to get back in shape and be healthier for me .
I want to work for as long as possible in terms of years so to  still enjoy escorting .
Regular check ups and time out for myself .
not put uneseccary expectations on myself in terms of daily targets and try to save some money.

I do envy those who have been brought up with the idea that it's okay to a) put yourself first and b) feel your feelings.

Both of these are getting easier for me (particularly since starting sex work actually) but when you've been taught since childhood that you're not entitled to feel sad, angry or scared, it does take a genuine effort to check in with yourself and realise "Hey, I'm feeling angry, I should address that in a healthy way by going to the gym / taking a walk, rather than eating this large packet of Tesco bacon crunches."

Yes! This is what i am trying to change.. Eating or drinking  to numb uncomfortable feelings. Trying to work through them rather than avoiding,with healthier self care i guess.

I think what VC was saying is that some people are raised to believe that their feelings and wellbeing do NOT matter. That they should put their needs and feelings after others. It doesn't apply to me, but I definitely know that there are many who have literally been raised to believe that they have no right to feel anything or assert anything contrary to what someone More Important raised them to believe was more important.

Yes, I've been brought up to put everyone except myself first. This mindset has caused endless amounts of hassle for me, especially in today's selfish society.

Now, finally by doing this job I have learned to put myself first over everyone else 

TI think what VC was saying is that some people are raised to believe that their feelings and wellbeing do NOT matter. That they should put their needs and feelings after others. It doesn't apply to me, but I definitely know that there are many who have literally been raised to believe that they have no right to feel anything or assert anything contrary to what someone More Important raised them to believe was more important.

This is literally what I meant so thank you DD.
Sex work has helped immeasurably with this and I am grateful every day for it.

my self-care and my anxiety regime are the same thing

-gardening and obsessing about my garden
-trying to develop my creative and life projects
-buying random shit i don't need
-sitting in bed in tracksuit and watching netflicks
-reminding myself it's ok to cancel or rearrange appointments when i'm not feeling up to it (tell myself it's for the good of the client as no one wants moody stressed me turning up at their place)
-cuddles with loverboy
-playing and hanging out with my friends kids
-experimenting with herbal teas and remedies
-magnesium supplements have helped my anxiety a lot
-bought a hammam exfoliation glove for 2quid and my shower routine is now pure luxury

This is really important for me. In a way, escorting has made it easier for me to look after my mental health because I am in charge of my hours and don?t have to commute, do what anybody else tells me but I have found some aspects really difficult.

I take time off frequently and just chill, do whatever I want to do. I used to try and get as many bookings as I could on the days I work, now if I only have one booking that?s ok because it gives me more time to do things at home. I only work set hours/days and am getting more confident in saying what I do/don?t want to do and sticking to it because I know how it feels to lose control and there?s no need for this job to stress me out.

totally with you on this; sex work has helped me feel in control of my life again and is giving me the money and confidence to finally get back on my feet after a difficult couple of years