Hello, would really appreciate some advice....

I'm basically in a bit of a pickle. The boyfriend initially said it was fine me escorting, but has now got really insecure and is crying down the phone and texting me things saying 'you're breaking my heart in two'. He is really insecure partly because my sex drive has gone down massively due to what I *thought* was antidepressants.....

Turns out it was just that I don't seem to be attracted to him. He's been very kind to me, is total marriage material, but I just don't fancy him anymore. I don't think his insecurities about what I do will do away, do you?

I have been seeing someone else (whilst telling the boyfriend I needed some space) who is amazing in bed, doesn't seem to have any issues with what I do etc etc. The problem is he is a musician (in a well-known band) and so probably doesn't satisfy my need for someone reliable. He has just come out of a 4 year relationship, so is not desperate to settle down just yet.


My question is what shall I do? Boyfriend or musician f**k buddy?

Thank you so much, just need some reassurance that I'm not alone as no-one knows what I do, and therefore can't give me any advice in this situation

xxxx

but I just don't fancy him anymore

I don't claim to be an expert on these sort of things, but that sentence to me says everything. Without the desire, a relationship doesn't exist...

I found the two best relationships I've ever been in when I wasn't looking. My ex was a great bf, just didn't work out cos of a couple of big differences, and I met him when I was determinedly anti-relationship. My current bf turned up in my life when I was still with the ex (yeah, monogamy is hard haha), and then turned into a relationship after two months of us fucking and insisting, more and more hysterically, that we were just friends with benefits I swear omg!

I guess what I'm trying to say is, just do whatever, and things will work out. Relationships don't work if you're desperate for them to, they need to just happen. IMO, anyway.

Girl, you need to run like the hounds were chasing you. You are about to lose years of your life with someone you now know is not who you want to be with. Get out of that relationship as quickly as possible. Screw his needs, you need to worry about your needs and mental health. He is using his insecurity to try and control you, lets look at it, he sees you getting more and more independent via your work and fears you will no longer need him, so he turns on the waterworks, trying to manipulate you into  making a choice.

I started living my life for me after being with someone I loved but who wasn't right for me for 4 years.
Don't settle for someone you don't fancy or isn't right for you.
Your question: Boyfriend or musician? Why does it have to be any of them? Being single is empowering. You don't need to be in a relationship, whether that be a heavy one with bf or a light hearted one with f-buddy!
Being single is very underrated. After being tied down for years, I love not having to consider someone else all the time. It might sound selfish but we only get one life so why waste it?
I see friends when I like, work when I like and don't have to listen to anybody whinging about my choices. It's great lol.
Get rid and be yourself for a while!

Spent 14 years in a marriage that was wrong for me, I knew how much more he loved me than I him and felt guilty for it and sorry for him.

Big, big waste of both our lives - if it feels wrong it is wrong and staying with this bf will only make you both miserable and still end in tears.