Author Topic: No motivation for the job anymore (Read 1395 times)

emmagfe · « **on:** 30 May 2014, 09:12:41 pm »

I've mentioned before I want to get out of the job, but now I really do. I'm turning down appointments and just can't be bothered.
I'm so exhausted being a mum.

Thing is I don't have alot of savings and the savings I do Have I need.
How am I going to cope on a normal low income?
I am so used to luxuries for myself and buying my child everything new, all clothes designer or next.

I have a college interview next week to study social work. Then I will go onto uni. If all goes to plan.
I would like to be a family court advisor and work with social services.
I'm really determined to get a career. One I can tell people about. Not live a lie everyday. Worrying im going to fuck up and say something about this world. More people find out. Any involvement with social services - even though they can't take my child away I just don't want the stress. I don't want anyone to know what I do.

I have been off dating for a while but I'd like to start dating again and have sex with people I want to have sex with. Not older or foreign men who aren't my type. I wouldn't rush into dating and sleeping with a guy but I want to feel detached from this job when I meet a good one. I can't accept any dates being in the industry incase I grew to like them it would mess everything up. You can't do the job and date. Is a guy you've fallen for worth giving up your Job? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Im too greedy and like my money to be mine. Not given to me. So I just couldn't pick a bloke over this job. Maybe I would if they were the one though. I dunno.

I just don't know how I'm going to get through these tough times financially.
Thank you for letting me rant and express myself. Who do I talk to when it comes to this world? The only people is clients and I don't want to discuss it with them and they wouldn't give me genuine advice - they don't want me to quit so they'd persuade me to stay.

meetingdiversity · « **Reply #1 on:** 30 May 2014, 09:47:13 pm »

Hello,

Quitting escorting is all good if finances are replaced with a manageable income. You say you pay a high price for the latest things etc but a normal wage as you know differs a lot. So good things all the time wouldn't be able to buy unless you have a steady flow after escorting. Many choices have consequences find a wealthy man to take care of you. Studying doesn't pay well but the end result can be good. So in the mean time another source of income will help. I have no idea where or what that would be. But I am sure you will know what is realistic for your circumstances.

Coping on a normal income is doable. As it keeps you alive ie shelter, food, water and warmth. All the rest are luxury's.

Cheryl87 · « **Reply #2 on:** 30 May 2014, 10:51:28 pm »

I guess it all boils down to sacrifices. Unfortunately we can't have it all but the money can be addictive.

I am a bit strange in that I am overwhelmingly frugal with my expenses. I could easily live well on a minimum wage job. I spend ?70 a week on food for a family of 4 and a cat, I live in one of the cheapest areas in my town, walk everywhere, and very few items of clothing me and my family need cost over ?5! (the only exception being winter coats and jeans). I barely wear make up when not working.

I need the money from escorting for other things though (for my future) and I have no other way of making those amounts of money otherwise. I spend as little as I can on anything except my goals.

You can have the civvie life you crave, you will be skint , but if it makes you happy it will be worth it. Or have the money but have to continue with the escorting. At least until you can get qualified in something better paid.

It seems as if you have a plan - you just need to be surer in yourself before you do it?

One thing escorting has ruined for me is sex - I find it really difficult to view sex and kissing and touching of me as pleasurable anymore in my personal life, and that makes me sad but I hope I'll be able to overcome that if I stop (I have had breaks from working and after a few weeks I begin to enjoy being touched again in personal life). Otherwise I have not really been adversely affected.

I wish you the best of luck x x x

Pink~Princess · « **Reply #3 on:** 30 May 2014, 11:38:07 pm »

Why don't you go to college and offer massage with a happy ending? That way you can still make good money and if anyone asks what you do for a living all you have to do is say your a student x

emmagfe · « **Reply #4 on:** 31 May 2014, 02:31:50 pm »

Thanks for you replies.

It's difficult. I know education will be worth it in the long run. I grew up with nothing but when i started escorting before being pregnant it made me greedy.
I have been trying to make changes to prepare myself for when escorting comes to an end.
For example I normally shop at m&s, waitrose and sainsburys. I've been trying to do at least half a shop at Aldi.
I buy clothes in topshop, warehouse, mi selfridge, next and river island. I've started shopping in newlook and primark again.
I have stopped doing so many activities and eating take out or in restaurants.

But I'm the kinda I see I like I buy girl. Even if I don't need it I have to have it, last month I brought a Sony touch screen laptop even though i have a good laptop and a ipad. im a full time mum to a toddler i dont get time to use all this shit. But I'm trying to get better.

I feel I will be stressed the same amount escorting or quitting.
Escorting worry is being caught out.
Quitting is not having money.

A rich man would be no good cause Im the kinda girl who likes to pay and provide for myself.

I feel like I can't win. I wish I never got into the job sometimes but it has taught me valuable life lessons. People say escorts/prositutes have no respect for themselves well in this job..I've never respected myself so much! It has made me more confident indipendant and powerful. I don't take people's bullshit and its made me very strong skinned.

If I get a part time job whilst at college and uni I would only be ?20 a week better off than on benefits, so I would loose another 16 hours on top of education and volenter work with my son. Doesn't seem worth it for ?20 a week.

I wouldn't mind the massage idea but the thing that's making me loose motivation for escorting is I can only work evenings and I am running around after my toddler so by the time he's in bed, I'm covered head to toe in food and smell like shit..I just want a bath take my makeup off and to go to bed..not see clients. I need to find job from home which I can do 'relaxing' if that makes sense.
I have looked at shoe/lingerie/tight fetishes but the money doesn't seem brilliant but maybe the little extra would help.
I also have to be careful on what I earn as it will affect the benefits I will get, if I loose certain ones I won't be able to get my college tutitions free or grants as a studying lone parent..so it probably would work better to be unemployed. I don't want the risk of dodging the tax man.

Dani · « **Reply #5 on:** 31 May 2014, 03:47:42 pm »

You can manage on much less money as your kids don't need designer clothes or to have everything they ask or want for. All they need is food on the table a roof over their heads and a happy mum. A happy mum is something money cannot buy.

I coped for years with four kids and a low ish income (nursing is not great money) I also had a mortgage and sitter fees to pay but I learned to cook everything from scratch and not buying anything processed which saved a fortune. My kids had new clothes but from Asda as they do good quality clothing at really cheap prices. If I made a meal I would make enough for two meals and freeze half which saves a lot of money on ingredients as you don't have to buy all fresh again.

Your mental wellbeing is far more important than money to your kids I can promise you. Also you mention going to Uni to do social work course, if Uni found out you were escorting whilst on this course you may find yourself asked to leave as courses like this tend to have morality clauses in them. Its the same for nursing, If they find out you have worked as an escort you cannot work for the NHS. student solicitors have the same problem so that would just add even more worry for you.

Do something that makes YOU happy. If escorting is not doing that then leave. It will drive you barmy doing this if you are not enjoying it and will cause issues later on. Its not like a normal job where if you dislike it, it wont affect your mental wellbeing. It is different as having sex with hundreds of men when you hate it will screw you up.

You really do need to be in it 100% to be able to do this job without having problems either now or later. I have seen people who it doesn't bother at all and they enjoy it even after they left they still reminisce about it and I have seen others who despise themselves and have lost their own self respect and those are the ones who have needed help coming to terms with themselves.

Do only what makes you happy. Money is not everything and kids don't need everything they want. It does them good to not have it all handed to them on a plate. The odd designer thing at xmas to go with their presents great but they don't need everything to have a label. You will be surprised at how little money you can actually live quite happily on once you are out of the mindset that money grows on trees (come on for us it sort of does). We know if we are skint just go to work and we will have a few hundred quid in no time. However civvie life is not like that and most people have to budget. It is easy to do.

Wife4rent · « **Reply #6 on:** 31 May 2014, 03:59:53 pm »

Quote from: emmagfe on 30 May 2014, 09:12:41 pm

How am I going to cope on a normal low income?

I know of girls that have given up doing escort work and manage, living on benefits or a low income is not easy and not a life I would consider but we all have choices to make.

It could be said that it is wrong to do something that you do not enjoy, but there are millions of people going out each day to do a job they resent doing, but have to do to support a family.

Sarah x x x

TheLittleMatchGirl · « **Reply #7 on:** 01 June 2014, 11:56:59 am »

Quote from: Dani on 31 May 2014, 03:47:42 pm

You can manage on much less money as your kids don't need designer clothes or to have everything they ask or want for. All they need is food on the table a roof over their heads and a happy mum. A happy mum is something money cannot buy.

I coped for years with four kids and a low ish income (nursing is not great money) I also had a mortgage and sitter fees to pay but I learned to cook everything from scratch and not buying anything processed which saved a fortune. My kids had new clothes but from Asda as they do good quality clothing at really cheap prices. If I made a meal I would make enough for two meals and freeze half which saves a lot of money on ingredients as you don't have to buy all fresh again.

Your mental wellbeing is far more important than money to your kids I can promise you. Also you mention going to Uni to do social work course, if Uni found out you were escorting whilst on this course you may find yourself asked to leave as courses like this tend to have morality clauses in them. Its the same for nursing, If they find out you have worked as an escort you cannot work for the NHS. student solicitors have the same problem so that would just add even more worry for you.

Do something that makes YOU happy. If escorting is not doing that then leave. It will drive you barmy doing this if you are not enjoying it and will cause issues later on. Its not like a normal job where if you dislike it, it wont affect your mental wellbeing. It is different as having sex with hundreds of men when you hate it will screw you up.

You really do need to be in it 100% to be able to do this job without having problems either now or later. I have seen people who it doesn't bother at all and they enjoy it even after they left they still reminisce about it and I have seen others who despise themselves and have lost their own self respect and those are the ones who have needed help coming to terms with themselves.

Do only what makes you happy. Money is not everything and kids don't need everything they want. It does them good to not have it all handed to them on a plate. The odd designer thing at xmas to go with their presents great but they don't need everything to have a label. You will be surprised at how little money you can actually live quite happily on once you are out of the mindset that money grows on trees (come on for us it sort of does). We know if we are skint just go to work and we will have a few hundred quid in no time. However civvie life is not like that and most people have to budget. It is easy to do.

I was going to say the same regarding the morality clause, it would be a constant worry for me escorting if I were trying to get into social work

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: No motivation for the job anymore (Read 1395 times)

emmagfe

No motivation for the job anymore

meetingdiversity

Re: No motivation for the job anymore

Cheryl87

Re: No motivation for the job anymore

Pink~Princess

Re: No motivation for the job anymore

emmagfe

Re: No motivation for the job anymore

Dani

Re: No motivation for the job anymore

Wife4rent

Re: No motivation for the job anymore

TheLittleMatchGirl

Re: No motivation for the job anymore