Isoltation

That's the only thing that gets to me and I wish we could organise some group or something to deal with this. So many WGs seem to have this problem and I only know a few working girls but they, like me, have basically no friends here (in the city they work).

I've always been a social butterfly and need to have a group of friends around me cause I enjoy close connections with people, but here in London I haven't done that because of they job. Why? I hate lying to friends. I had some friends and told them the truth and they stopped talking to me. Also I work weird hours so I find it hard to say "lets meet at 10" then get a call for 10 for three hours and have to give up all that money for a coffee with a mate. I find I've become closed when I meet people, always worrying they'll find out and so I get very quiet and hate talking about myself....

So, what to do? I'm positive and have plans to change this reality and get out there and make some great friends. I've no doubt I'll be successful but yes, in any other job it's not an effort to make friends but when you're a prossie you really have to work hard, force yourself to get out there and make strong, meaningful connections.

I also agree with the impact on romantic relationships. My relationship was wonderful but couldn't continue because of my job (he was fine with it but as he fell in love with me he could no longer accept my job). I'm happy to be single while I work, but one day I'm going to want to have a partner again...

Career

I have a degree and my passions lie in another field and I want to build my career in that. But again, it's hard to walk away from this money and this "zero effort" job. What of the future? Where do you want to be in five years time? I think if you do not have a "goal" for the money you're earning and for your future, then you can easily become a prostitute and nothing else i.e that is your entire identity and you've nothing else, no ambitions, no plans for the future but instead living day by day, client by client...

xx
p.s i love my job, but if we're looking for negative stuff, there it is.

The emotional toll of being treated like an object for years. The damage it can do to you mentally, and has done to me. The way it can make you unable to have normal intimacy. The way it can make you hate punters and hate sex, but still carry on doing it for the money. The fact that it is SO hard to get out of. The fact that it can lead you to emotional breakdown, and you may have no one to talk to about it. The fact that it often means lying to your closest friends and family. And lying to yourself. Pretending that you are okay when you are not....I went for years doing this....telling myself how much I love this job, until one day I ended up in the hospital from a suicidal attempt, and for the first time ever I questioned myself that maybe I don't love this job as much as I'd been telling myself I did. Verbal abuse from punters. Sometimes sexual and physical abuse also. The list goes on...

The hardest moment I have ever had escorting was when my ex boyfriend (at the time we both were openly still in love with each other and even though we broke up it felt like I was cheating on him every time I worked) told me he found out. Apparently someone forwarded him my AW profile, he will never tell me who. We were having an argument on the phone (we lived in separate cities) over something trivial and he said something along the lines of 'oh and you are always right aren't you Angel (then working name)'. I dropped the phone and broke down crying, then numb with shock just said 'how do you know'.

Later on he told me the main reason he was so angry was that he was scared I would end up badly hurt or killed.

Even now years later, and happily with someone who knows and accepts what I do, its making me tear up writing this. Gosh I'm a sappy idiot some times.

There are so many reasons not to be an escort.

One reason is that you have to have sex with men you find unattractive, it's part of the job. As long as they are clean right?
Well sometimes you will find them physically repulsive, even if they are showered.

Think of a disgusting toad in male human form.

Bumps and boils all over his skin. Short and fat with bulging eyes. Scaly feet and hands and a lumpy tongue.

Now think of an hour and a half's booking with this human toad and I mean really think about it.

Being kissed with that tongue, being touched with rough cracked hands, having to massage his spotty skin.
I will spare you the details about oral or 'toad in the hole!'

In all seriousness you have to be mentally strong to be able to do this.

Daisy sometimes i see guys out there on the street i hope will never call me !!!

Glad its not just me who says a little silent prayer when I see a particularly beastly man!

It's not Exciting and it's not Glamorous:

I blame Belle De Jour, but when I started I was very much so expecting to have wealthy business men style clients fawning all over me, and lots of champagne.

Instead.

It's men in their 50's mostly, a lot of them talk about their allotments, and depending on your age a lot of them may remind you of your Dad. Though obviously try and block that out or you'll end up needing a lot of therapy.

I would say that if you're looking for excitement, don't expect to find it escorting as most guys are visiting you so you can provide them with excitement.

I am yet to meet a footballer, I'm yet to meet a billionaire... but I am yet to meet anyone who has harmed or scared me in any way so I'll stop grumbling about the nearly retired set.

Oooh also, if you're used to sleeping with young guys in their twenties, enjoy it while you can. A lot of older men have erection issues/can't get it up once they catch sight of a condom - and it is friggin hard work to entertain.

And the paranoia/social stigma/fear of being outed/getting used to such good money and having unrealistic expectations about future earning potential/getting used to being objectified and not taking it personally/ getting used to people trying to 'save you'/ getting used to sometimes feeling a little bit used.

That's all I have now.

Oh

and it makes you very weary and wary of men.

This from the girl who's been at it 4 months and rarely sees more than 3 clients a week.

 

I knew what escorting involved before I started around 5 months ago but I agree belle de jour did dress it up a little...I don't expect footballers billionaires. But when a client comes in and you physically don't like them and they are no conversation you think I am really going to have sex with this guy? I offer school girl outfit and don't I hate it! I know its a fantasy a popular one but I find myself sighing when the email comes in school girl never seem to be out of that damn outfit! I'm sure sweetie things may pick up. Maybe get some photos done add more about yourself on your profile x

I think that prostitution should be recognised as an addiction because it is incredibly addictive and hard to break away from. Theres always the lure of easy money once you go back to a full time secular career and struggle to meet the expenses of everything you want..