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Reasons not to be an escort

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Anika Mae:
Despite what some people think, working as a prostitute can have a lot of positive points which we could all tell you about, but if you're thinking about it you've probably already come up with enough of your own. However, it's not a job for everyone and you might not have thought about some of the drawbacks.

Stigma

Ok this one's fairly obvious, but really think about it. It's easy, especially if you're young, to not think about how this could affect you. There are stories of people being anonymously outed at their other jobs even though they didn't show their faces on their websites and tabloids sometimes get in on the act too. Once you put some photos on the internet they never really go away, and even if you don't, with mobile phone cameras, discrete webcams built into computers, and even inexpensive spycams, you can never be sure there's no evidence around.

More personally, even when stop being an prostitute it will be part of your history. Are you going to be able to tell people close to you, or will you have to keep it a secret?

danger

This is another obvious one, but by being an escort you'll be putting yourself in situations which could be dangerous. We have ways to reduce this risk but it will always be present.

isolating

It can be lonely being an escort, especially if you don't feel able to tell the people around you. You'll have to lie to them which puts a strain on the relationship at your end and some people withdraw from their friends and family to spare themselves the stress of leading a double life. Even if you do tell people you know, they won't be able to relate to a lot of your experiences. Escorts, even those who work for an agency, rarely come into contact with each other if they don't make an effort to do so, so there aren't many opportunities to chat and unwind with people who know what you're talking about.

variable income

You've had a whole week without any work, and the week before was quiet. Are you feeling stressed? Rejected? Frustrated? Did you save enough money from that good week last month, or are you struggling to make ends meet?

You never know how much money you'll make in any day, week or month, but you still need to budget and manage your time. If you're the sort of person who spends whatever money you have, you're likely to get into financial trouble. If you just hate waiting for something to happen it can drive you crazy.

The unpredictability can also make it difficult to maintain a good work/life balance. If you know that a lull could hit at any time, will you be able to turn down a job because you've arranged to do something for your friends, family, or yourself?

no security

Not only could things get quiet at any time, but there's no sick pay or holiday pay. If you can't work because of illness or injury, or you just need a break, you're the one who has to provide for that. If you don't save up enough to live for at least a few weeks (I recommend three months), a little bad luck could really mess with your life.

people trying to take advantage of you

People regularly try to get what they want from us (money and/or sex, usually) on their own terms, and especially with new escorts. This includes offering you services for money or sex, offering to help you run your business in ways that would be simple to do yourself, trying to convince you to do things the way they want by claiming that everyone does it that way, and trying to either rip you off or get a service you don't offer once you're at a booking. You need to be able to spot them and in some cases be very sure of yourself in order to stand your ground.

relationships

Prostitution can be harmful to your relationships, including those with friends and family as described above, and especially romantic ones. If you keep your job a secret you'll have to lie to your partner regularly and they can never really know you. If you tell them then even if they accept it initially they often become unhappy with the idea as time goes on and trust breaks down. If they can cope most of the time it's still likely to be used against you in arguments.

If you go the disclosure route dating becomes more of a minefield than usual, as people may be attracted to your job rather than you; thinking that they can benefit from your income or that you'll be will to have sex all the time in ways they don't think they could normally get away with.

There are a few special people who can accept your job and treat you like a normal girlfriend or boyfriend, but even that isn't a perfect solution for some escorts, who can't cope with being with someone so non possessive.

Even after you stop working there can still be issues. You still need to choose whether to admit or hide that part of your past and deal with the consequences of either, and some people see men differently after having a lot of them as clients, which can be a problem if you want a boyfriend.

trouble getting out

Most people don't go into prostitution expecting to do it for the rest of their working lives, but once you're in it can be hard to get out. The money, free time and freedom can be addictive, so many former escorts slip back into it after trying to cope with being told what to do for 40 hours a week and earning less than they could in 10. If you're not studying or doing a day job, you'll have a hole in your CV which is difficult to explain and becomes more problematic the longer you escort.

Annabelle:
Never under estimate the impact escorting can have on one's health. Physically, mentally and emotionally. I always make sure that I get checked at the local sexual health clinic regularly (and they now know I'm a sex worker - thought it was best to be honest and they are bound by confidentiality); have a reality check every now and then to reassure myself that I am still a person in my own right with opinions, rights and a personality; and make sure that whatever happens, I don't go to sleep after having a "bad day at work" without doing something to distract myself - whether that's reading a book I know and love, going on this forum, or playing a game on a computer of sorts. This job is very high risk when it comes to health and sometimes, it can cost more than you bargain for; obviously there are things we can do to minimise the risk but no method is fail safe. Accidents happen.

The minute I stop enjoying what I do, when my health has been severely compromised or my attitudes towards sex and relationships changes for the worse, I'll walk away; and I go over all three points before I confirm a booking with someone, almost like a checklist. So far, so good!

Hermione:
I would add "Having Sex with Ugly People" to the list.  While hygeine is an absolute minimum and should be expected, the fact is that many clients are unnattractive.  You will get the occasional hottie, but you do have to ask yourself if having sex with someone you aren't attracted to is going to be a problem.

"Awkwardness" is another issue.  Your client may behave perfectly acceptably but there is no real click between you.  This can leave you feeling horrible.  Additionally, many polite and clean clients are shy and inexperienced and may be poor communicators.  This can feel embarrassing and awkward, and you will walk away from the booking wondering whether you can do this job.  If you can ignore or accept these feeling, then you'll be fine, but if not, reconsider entering the profession. 

Harlow:
Hi, I have found that once you've stepped into the world of escorting & then stepped back out of it again, you can't fully! It's like being an alcoholic you get the label for life! You will still have to lie, & people will still judge you for it! & It may come back & haunt you when you least expect it! That is most probably the thing I most wished I knew then!

I am the Escort of Darkness lol

Harlow x

Candy:
I never really treat the job as a "job". Before I started to do this professionally, I very often had sex with a lots of man, without having them pay for it. I found this work as a very good option for me, it's fun and I often like it. I really learn a lot during the time I spent with the clients. About their needs, about the life of the clients, their problems and many things like that. I like this job. I am so young and I feel much older inside. Like much older... More mature.

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