SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: Anika Mae on 17 April 2010, 12:41:30 pm
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Despite what some people think, working as a prostitute can have a lot of positive points which we could all tell you about, but if you're thinking about it you've probably already come up with enough of your own. However, it's not a job for everyone and you might not have thought about some of the drawbacks.
Stigma
Ok this one's fairly obvious, but really think about it. It's easy, especially if you're young, to not think about how this could affect you. There are stories of people being anonymously outed at their other jobs even though they didn't show their faces on their websites and tabloids sometimes get in on the act too. Once you put some photos on the internet they never really go away, and even if you don't, with mobile phone cameras, discrete webcams built into computers, and even inexpensive spycams, you can never be sure there's no evidence around.
More personally, even when stop being an prostitute it will be part of your history. Are you going to be able to tell people close to you, or will you have to keep it a secret?
danger
This is another obvious one, but by being an escort you'll be putting yourself in situations which could be dangerous. We have ways to reduce this risk but it will always be present.
isolating
It can be lonely being an escort, especially if you don't feel able to tell the people around you. You'll have to lie to them which puts a strain on the relationship at your end and some people withdraw from their friends and family to spare themselves the stress of leading a double life. Even if you do tell people you know, they won't be able to relate to a lot of your experiences. Escorts, even those who work for an agency, rarely come into contact with each other if they don't make an effort to do so, so there aren't many opportunities to chat and unwind with people who know what you're talking about.
variable income
You've had a whole week without any work, and the week before was quiet. Are you feeling stressed? Rejected? Frustrated? Did you save enough money from that good week last month, or are you struggling to make ends meet?
You never know how much money you'll make in any day, week or month, but you still need to budget and manage your time. If you're the sort of person who spends whatever money you have, you're likely to get into financial trouble. If you just hate waiting for something to happen it can drive you crazy.
The unpredictability can also make it difficult to maintain a good work/life balance. If you know that a lull could hit at any time, will you be able to turn down a job because you've arranged to do something for your friends, family, or yourself?
no security
Not only could things get quiet at any time, but there's no sick pay or holiday pay. If you can't work because of illness or injury, or you just need a break, you're the one who has to provide for that. If you don't save up enough to live for at least a few weeks (I recommend three months), a little bad luck could really mess with your life.
people trying to take advantage of you
People regularly try to get what they want from us (money and/or sex, usually) on their own terms, and especially with new escorts. This includes offering you services for money or sex, offering to help you run your business in ways that would be simple to do yourself, trying to convince you to do things the way they want by claiming that everyone does it that way, and trying to either rip you off or get a service you don't offer once you're at a booking. You need to be able to spot them and in some cases be very sure of yourself in order to stand your ground.
relationships
Prostitution can be harmful to your relationships, including those with friends and family as described above, and especially romantic ones. If you keep your job a secret you'll have to lie to your partner regularly and they can never really know you. If you tell them then even if they accept it initially they often become unhappy with the idea as time goes on and trust breaks down. If they can cope most of the time it's still likely to be used against you in arguments.
If you go the disclosure route dating becomes more of a minefield than usual, as people may be attracted to your job rather than you; thinking that they can benefit from your income or that you'll be will to have sex all the time in ways they don't think they could normally get away with.
There are a few special people who can accept your job and treat you like a normal girlfriend or boyfriend, but even that isn't a perfect solution for some escorts, who can't cope with being with someone so non possessive.
Even after you stop working there can still be issues. You still need to choose whether to admit or hide that part of your past and deal with the consequences of either, and some people see men differently after having a lot of them as clients, which can be a problem if you want a boyfriend.
trouble getting out
Most people don't go into prostitution expecting to do it for the rest of their working lives, but once you're in it can be hard to get out. The money, free time and freedom can be addictive, so many former escorts slip back into it after trying to cope with being told what to do for 40 hours a week and earning less than they could in 10. If you're not studying or doing a day job, you'll have a hole in your CV which is difficult to explain and becomes more problematic the longer you escort.
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Never under estimate the impact escorting can have on one's health. Physically, mentally and emotionally. I always make sure that I get checked at the local sexual health clinic regularly (and they now know I'm a sex worker - thought it was best to be honest and they are bound by confidentiality); have a reality check every now and then to reassure myself that I am still a person in my own right with opinions, rights and a personality; and make sure that whatever happens, I don't go to sleep after having a "bad day at work" without doing something to distract myself - whether that's reading a book I know and love, going on this forum, or playing a game on a computer of sorts. This job is very high risk when it comes to health and sometimes, it can cost more than you bargain for; obviously there are things we can do to minimise the risk but no method is fail safe. Accidents happen.
The minute I stop enjoying what I do, when my health has been severely compromised or my attitudes towards sex and relationships changes for the worse, I'll walk away; and I go over all three points before I confirm a booking with someone, almost like a checklist. So far, so good!
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I would add "Having Sex with Ugly People" to the list. While hygeine is an absolute minimum and should be expected, the fact is that many clients are unnattractive. You will get the occasional hottie, but you do have to ask yourself if having sex with someone you aren't attracted to is going to be a problem.
"Awkwardness" is another issue. Your client may behave perfectly acceptably but there is no real click between you. This can leave you feeling horrible. Additionally, many polite and clean clients are shy and inexperienced and may be poor communicators. This can feel embarrassing and awkward, and you will walk away from the booking wondering whether you can do this job. If you can ignore or accept these feeling, then you'll be fine, but if not, reconsider entering the profession.
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Hi, I have found that once you've stepped into the world of escorting & then stepped back out of it again, you can't fully! It's like being an alcoholic you get the label for life! You will still have to lie, & people will still judge you for it! & It may come back & haunt you when you least expect it! That is most probably the thing I most wished I knew then!
I am the Escort of Darkness lol
Harlow x
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I never really treat the job as a "job". Before I started to do this professionally, I very often had sex with a lots of man, without having them pay for it. I found this work as a very good option for me, it's fun and I often like it. I really learn a lot during the time I spent with the clients. About their needs, about the life of the clients, their problems and many things like that. I like this job. I am so young and I feel much older inside. Like much older... More mature.
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That's great Candy, but this article is intended to make people realise that there are bad things about the job that they may not have considered. Most of us here like being hookers, but that doesn't mean it's suitable for everyone who thinks they might like to be paid to have sex. Please could you try to read threads carefully so you know what people are saying before you reply.
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I am so young and I feel much older inside. Like much older... More mature.
This for me is one of the most negative aspects of the job. I started escorting at 18, and it has aged me in ways that I couldn't have imagined. I have always been mature for my age, but a constant worry for me is how cynical I could become in just a few years, if I continue escorting. The maturity makes me mentally able to deal with many things about the job (which is a blessing), however it makes me feel too old, almost like I have lost some time, just to be immature and silly. It's almost like I'm out of sync, and constantly struggling against the actual age I am, and the age I feel.
xx
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Interesting article. I have been in this industry for a number of years. I always believed that when I stopped escorting, I would be able to pick up my life, and put it all behind me. I stopped for four years, and to be honest I didn't feel a bit different. I couldn't pick up my life and forget all about it in the way I hoped, because there is always the knowledge at the back of your mind that you have been a prostitute. There are so many things that I feel I could have done differently if I had made different choices- and now I will never know. Unfortunately every action has a reaction, and this job does change you in many ways.
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For me one of the worst aspects of this job is 'that' client. The one who thinks because he has paid he can insult you, treat you like total crap and leave you feeling like a piece of meat.
This is the hardest type of client to deal with as he is also the type that is liable to become aggressive if you try to end the booking.
when I first started and had a client like this I would sit in a bath of dettol and cry and I have a very strong outlook on life. I do feel for those that are alot softer than me this could cause emotional damage. Infact I have seen a couple of girls left very emotionally scarred from it.
This is definatley not a job for the faint hearted. Too many girls think it is just sex but it is so much more. The emotional strain can take its toll unless you can get into the right mindset
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All of the reasons are valid but so far the only one I'm struggling with is a feeling of isolation. I'm resigned that I have limited time before 'rumours' start and I'm big enough and ugly enough (lol) to face that, but I have spoken to 2 people of what i'm doing, partly for safety issues and partly because I had to TELL someone, but yes, already, there is a distance between us. One in particular keeps issuing 'be careful' warnings. She is worried, but in the way of a Sunday Mail reader if you get my meaning. I've done a lot of jobs, some shitty, some great but all of them carry a risk in one way or another. I've got a fair idea of the risks I am running by escorting. I do everything I can to lessen them, but weighing it up, I'm going to do this, because I want to and I can.
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Are you feeling stressed? Rejected? Frustrated?
I know we're not meant to get attached to clients but in some instances after spending many enjoyable appointments with someone you just can't help it can you, and it does happen - you're only human ? The client 'disappears', you can't get in touch as it's not professional, has he died, did you do something wrong , he's started seeing another escort you know - this can all have an impact on your psychological wellbeing and can be difficult to deal with emotionally.
You may be unfortunate to see a couple of clients in a row who can't help but pick faults in you, or have no social skills whatsoever - if you already have a hang-up about a part of your body which get's mentioned, how will you deal with it mentally ?
If you already have problems with rejection, low self esteem, etc., then tread very carefully as something will no doubts come along which will test you.
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I would add to the health bit that being in such close contact with so many people can affect your general health and make you more prone to different conditions that you might not get that often otherwise.
One month after starting escorting I got my first herpes ever, and it was a really aggressive one, with the blisters all over my lips and also inside the mouth, coupled with high fewer. I was unable to work for two weeks. Obviously I might have had the virus in my system for longer, but having been in a steady relationship for quite some time I do think I got it from a client. Also got my first thrush this summer after 2 months of work.
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I feel like the hardest part for me, currently living in a smaller city is pressure to preform. My local punter boards are very close knit, everyone seems to review, and have an opinion which can make or break an escort's earning potential. Although my reputation is quite good Im always fearful of bad reviews that could affect my ability to pay my mortgage or tuition. It also seems a lot of the men on the boards have become increasingly picky and critical since the start of the recession. It can be really disheartening to read that even though I felt like I had given a client a nice time, that he thought I was fatter than my photos and had bad skin :-[
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No one tells you that some days you'll be waiting...and waiting..and then waiting some more for a call, you give up when no one calls, then do something productive or positive away from "working" and the phone rings none stop...that boils my piss ! Lol But you can not live your life waiting for the next call...but when your skint as I was when I started its harder to switch off from earning fast quick money !
I'm 5 years in, escorting saved my life, but it's ruined a lot of other aspects of my personal life....
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This has been very important for me to read this morning, as i am currently screwed financially i had put too much pressure on myself, I became very down this week and the timewaster get to me the most. I know we all have our fair share of them. but they dont owe me a living, its my responsibility to deal with myself at the letdown point. In general ive not had major problems with clients yet!
very close friends do know what I do, have been very supportive as they understand my circumstances, its easier but i often feel lonely waiting indoors for calls and like another lady says, the minute you go out, the damn phone rings!!! (it happens when im in the bank of all places) I do need to take that call though. I also wish i had a better timewaster radar!!!!! do argos sell them yet?!!!!
must keep going and not let myself down , treat myself to nice things when i can as i deserve it, we all do.
orchid xx
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It's not Exciting and it's not Glamorous:
I blame Belle De Jour, but when I started I was very much so expecting to have wealthy business men style clients fawning all over me, and lots of champagne.
Instead.
It's men in their 50's mostly, a lot of them talk about their allotments, and depending on your age a lot of them may remind you of your Dad. Though obviously try and block that out or you'll end up needing a lot of therapy.
I would say that if you're looking for excitement, don't expect to find it escorting as most guys are visiting you so you can provide them with excitement.
I am yet to meet a footballer, I'm yet to meet a billionaire... but I am yet to meet anyone who has harmed or scared me in any way so I'll stop grumbling about the nearly retired set.
Oooh also, if you're used to sleeping with young guys in their twenties, enjoy it while you can. A lot of older men have erection issues/can't get it up once they catch sight of a condom - and it is friggin hard work to entertain.
And the paranoia/social stigma/fear of being outed/getting used to such good money and having unrealistic expectations about future earning potential/getting used to being objectified and not taking it personally/ getting used to people trying to 'save you'/ getting used to sometimes feeling a little bit used.
That's all I have now.
Oh
and it makes you very weary and wary of men.
This from the girl who's been at it 4 months and rarely sees more than 3 clients a week.
:o
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Isoltation
That's the only thing that gets to me and I wish we could organise some group or something to deal with this. So many WGs seem to have this problem and I only know a few working girls but they, like me, have basically no friends here (in the city they work).
I've always been a social butterfly and need to have a group of friends around me cause I enjoy close connections with people, but here in London I haven't done that because of they job. Why? I hate lying to friends. I had some friends and told them the truth and they stopped talking to me. Also I work weird hours so I find it hard to say "lets meet at 10" then get a call for 10 for three hours and have to give up all that money for a coffee with a mate. I find I've become closed when I meet people, always worrying they'll find out and so I get very quiet and hate talking about myself....
So, what to do? I'm positive and have plans to change this reality and get out there and make some great friends. I've no doubt I'll be successful but yes, in any other job it's not an effort to make friends but when you're a prossie you really have to work hard, force yourself to get out there and make strong, meaningful connections.
I also agree with the impact on romantic relationships. My relationship was wonderful but couldn't continue because of my job (he was fine with it but as he fell in love with me he could no longer accept my job). I'm happy to be single while I work, but one day I'm going to want to have a partner again...
Career
I have a degree and my passions lie in another field and I want to build my career in that. But again, it's hard to walk away from this money and this "zero effort" job. What of the future? Where do you want to be in five years time? I think if you do not have a "goal" for the money you're earning and for your future, then you can easily become a prostitute and nothing else i.e that is your entire identity and you've nothing else, no ambitions, no plans for the future but instead living day by day, client by client...
xx
p.s i love my job, but if we're looking for negative stuff, there it is.
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i can totally relate to alot of this thread but i would also like to add that be careful of making too close friendships with other working girls. whilst you think you can talk about the stress of work etc, if you let someone know too much about your personal life they can burn you the most. we are all competition and whilst the majority of us know that clients come and go and come back again, some ladies cant accept that and will try and damage you professionally and personally.
Stalkers - come with the job too and i truly hope not many of you have to deal with them.
Touring - whilst is great mostly. time away from family and home can be miserable.
The Double life lies - you lie that much you can forget to know the true you.
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The emotional toll of being treated like an object for years. The damage it can do to you mentally, and has done to me. The way it can make you unable to have normal intimacy. The way it can make you hate punters and hate sex, but still carry on doing it for the money. The fact that it is SO hard to get out of. The fact that it can lead you to emotional breakdown, and you may have no one to talk to about it. The fact that it often means lying to your closest friends and family. And lying to yourself. Pretending that you are okay when you are not....I went for years doing this....telling myself how much I love this job, until one day I ended up in the hospital from a suicidal attempt, and for the first time ever I questioned myself that maybe I don't love this job as much as I'd been telling myself I did. Verbal abuse from punters. Sometimes sexual and physical abuse also. The list goes on...
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Stalkers
For me this is the hardest thing to deal with. When someone becomes obsessed with you, and it's unwanted, it can leave you feeling very scared, vulnerable and alone (especially if you don't have anyone in real life to confide in). Having someone constantly message you, email you or text you everytime you change or update your website/profile is extremly disconcerting. My worst 'obsessive' did this for months after I asked him to stop. Curiosity got the better of me and I turned on my old work phone today to find that, yes, he's still texting me, even though I no longer work under the same name. He's 'worried sick' about me and wants me to text him to let him know I'm ok - stalkers tend to emotionally blackmail you, and it leaves you with a feeling that can only be described as ick.
I have had customers who have tracked me down even once I've changed profile, just from pictures. Or figured out who I am from posting on forums. And though most feel they have your 'best intentions' at heart, the fact that they're tracking your internet activity...well, it's a bit off putting to say the least.
Privacy is so important to me, if my family ever found out what I was doing I'd be taken outside and shot (maybe ;D). Everytime a customer gets obsessive and stalkery, I panic and quit temporarily. It's violating having someone try to intrude on your private life - scary and violating. I know others can probably shrug this off, but for me having stalkers is petrifying.
I have a new found sympathy for celebrities ::)
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The hardest moment I have ever had escorting was when my ex boyfriend (at the time we both were openly still in love with each other and even though we broke up it felt like I was cheating on him every time I worked) told me he found out. Apparently someone forwarded him my AW profile, he will never tell me who. We were having an argument on the phone (we lived in separate cities) over something trivial and he said something along the lines of 'oh and you are always right aren't you Angel (then working name)'. I dropped the phone and broke down crying, then numb with shock just said 'how do you know'.
Later on he told me the main reason he was so angry was that he was scared I would end up badly hurt or killed.
Even now years later, and happily with someone who knows and accepts what I do, its making me tear up writing this. Gosh I'm a sappy idiot some times.
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Hi All,
I just joined this site and got into the business about a month ago. This is so helpful, thank you all!
Luckily, especially with financial issues, its been a busy month. So, I think I've had a taste of most issues.
The sitting and waiting after you get ready (esp. when you don't feel like) are annoying! I gave it back to one of them today who asked if I would wear particular attire. Went out and got it. Ugh!
Also, the need to always be ready/listen for the phone.
And, the psychological challenges...
While all of the men I've seen have been nice and respectful, there have been a few that I felt like gagging when I opened the door. One was like late 70's. Regardless of closing my eyes to not see gramps or whoever, for me, thoughts race in my mind about what I'm doing, esp when I'm trying to sleep. The only way I've dealt with this is to choose to not focus on it. I have to reject some of these thoughts if I'm choosing to do this. And, the money is darn good!
Someone posted about doing things to take of yourself, and I couldn't agree more. Baths, shopping for things that make you feel good, getting a massage, having a great meal etc.
Thanks again to everyone for sharing this impt info. Am so glad I found this site!
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There are so many reasons not to be an escort.
One reason is that you have to have sex with men you find unattractive, it's part of the job. As long as they are clean right?
Well sometimes you will find them physically repulsive, even if they are showered.
Think of a disgusting toad in male human form.
Bumps and boils all over his skin. Short and fat with bulging eyes. Scaly feet and hands and a lumpy tongue.
Now think of an hour and a half's booking with this human toad and I mean really think about it.
Being kissed with that tongue, being touched with rough cracked hands, having to massage his spotty skin.
I will spare you the details about oral or 'toad in the hole!'
In all seriousness you have to be mentally strong to be able to do this.
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Daisy sometimes i see guys out there on the street i hope will never call me !!!
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Daisy sometimes i see guys out there on the street i hope will never call me !!!
Glad its not just me who says a little silent prayer when I see a particularly beastly man!
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Its all about faking it. Oh you have such lovely___________ oh your turning me on! Etc. Should be given an Oscar for my skills.
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It's not Exciting and it's not Glamorous:
I blame Belle De Jour, but when I started I was very much so expecting to have wealthy business men style clients fawning all over me, and lots of champagne.
Instead.
It's men in their 50's mostly, a lot of them talk about their allotments, and depending on your age a lot of them may remind you of your Dad. Though obviously try and block that out or you'll end up needing a lot of therapy.
I would say that if you're looking for excitement, don't expect to find it escorting as most guys are visiting you so you can provide them with excitement.
I am yet to meet a footballer, I'm yet to meet a billionaire... but I am yet to meet anyone who has harmed or scared me in any way so I'll stop grumbling about the nearly retired set.
Oooh also, if you're used to sleeping with young guys in their twenties, enjoy it while you can. A lot of older men have erection issues/can't get it up once they catch sight of a condom - and it is friggin hard work to entertain.
And the paranoia/social stigma/fear of being outed/getting used to such good money and having unrealistic expectations about future earning potential/getting used to being objectified and not taking it personally/ getting used to people trying to 'save you'/ getting used to sometimes feeling a little bit used.
That's all I have now.
Oh
and it makes you very weary and wary of men.
This from the girl who's been at it 4 months and rarely sees more than 3 clients a week.
:o
I knew what escorting involved before I started around 5 months ago but I agree belle de jour did dress it up a little...I don't expect footballers billionaires. But when a client comes in and you physically don't like them and they are no conversation you think I am really going to have sex with this guy? I offer school girl outfit and don't I hate it! I know its a fantasy a popular one but I find myself sighing when the email comes in school girl never seem to be out of that damn outfit! I'm sure sweetie things may pick up. Maybe get some photos done add more about yourself on your profile x
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It's not Exciting and it's not Glamorous:
I blame Belle De Jour, but when I started I was very much so expecting to have wealthy business men style clients fawning all over me, and lots of champagne.
Instead.
It's men in their 50's mostly, a lot of them talk about their allotments, and depending on your age a lot of them may remind you of your Dad. Though obviously try and block that out or you'll end up needing a lot of therapy.
I would say that if you're looking for excitement, don't expect to find it escorting as most guys are visiting you so you can provide them with excitement.
I am yet to meet a footballer, I'm yet to meet a billionaire... but I am yet to meet anyone who has harmed or scared me in any way so I'll stop grumbling about the nearly retired set.
Oooh also, if you're used to sleeping with young guys in their twenties, enjoy it while you can. A lot of older men have erection issues/can't get it up once they catch sight of a condom - and it is friggin hard work to entertain.
And the paranoia/social stigma/fear of being outed/getting used to such good money and having unrealistic expectations about future earning potential/getting used to being objectified and not taking it personally/ getting used to people trying to 'save you'/ getting used to sometimes feeling a little bit used.
That's all I have now.
Oh
and it makes you very weary and wary of men.
This from the girl who's been at it 4 months and rarely sees more than 3 clients a week.
:o
I knew what escorting involved before I started around 5 months ago but I agree belle de jour did dress it up a little...I don't expect footballers billionaires. But when a client comes in and you physically don't like them and they are no conversation you think I am really going to have sex with this guy? I offer school girl outfit and don't I hate it! I know its a fantasy a popular one but I find myself sighing when the email comes in school girl never seem to be out of that damn outfit! I'm sure sweetie things may pick up. Maybe get some photos done add more about yourself on your profile x
I havent had a personal relationship for 8 years due to a 10 year mentally abusive one. Its something I have never got over and Im loathe to go there again.. Escorting, for all its pluses and minuses, is something that I can always control one way or another.. Yes there are toads and mingers about and how can we keep a straight face when a 2 inch tiddler is thrust upon us?? Im mature and have no illusions what the male of the species are like and after a life experience, im pretty hard faced and devoid of any feelings to accept a clean unsmelly body, just keep me eyes
closed and focus on the easy money;)
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I think that prostitution should be recognised as an addiction because it is incredibly addictive and hard to break away from. Theres always the lure of easy money once you go back to a full time secular career and struggle to meet the expenses of everything you want..
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the biggest and most damaging aspect to me,is the loss of a sex drive and the reminder of work when with a partner,not knowing whether its special to them or not,because lets face it customers can look like there having the time of there life,you want it to be extra special with a partner,but in all honesty,they may act the simelar,to a paying customer....
men treating us like we are worthless and money grabbers and dont earn our money,when they couldnt be more wrong,like its as simple as spreading our legs(the kind of men i hate)
feeling trapped,something i feel regulary...
never making true friends,or making them through work and they cut you off as your a reminder of the job..
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*Belle de jour * film what a load of crap I saw it for the first time this week and prefered personal services/band of gold!
If people not escorting are imagining its like that french film god help them !!!!
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The hardest moment I have ever had escorting was when my ex boyfriend (at the time we both were openly still in love with each other and even though we broke up it felt like I was cheating on him every time I worked) told me he found out. Apparently someone forwarded him my AW profile, he will never tell me who. We were having an argument on the phone (we lived in separate cities) over something trivial and he said something along the lines of 'oh and you are always right aren't you Angel (then working name)'. I dropped the phone and broke down crying, then numb with shock just said 'how do you know'.
Later on he told me the main reason he was so angry was that he was scared I would end up badly hurt or killed.
Even now years later, and happily with someone who knows and accepts what I do, its making me tear up writing this. Gosh I'm a sappy idiot some times.
Sappy Idiot I don't thinks so . Your a lovely caring person that deserves a man she can trust that loves and cares for her
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i started a week and a half ago,
i lost 10kg in 5 days, hardly ate didn't sleep much was absolutely god awful regardless of the fact i lost a little weight
i think it was a combination of adrenaline and the stress of performing.
my first client was pretty much wanting to me my pimp as i was new and i told him (to make myself feel a little better and also so he knew i was new to it all). so you get a lot of people who want to pressurize you into doing things you don't want to do and can be very controlling. you have so be so strong willed!
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I'm really relieved to read this thread as I have heard the total opposite on other boards frequented by punters, i.e. wgs professing to really love the job and saying they never have to 'fake it' with clients as they are *all* soooo wonderful. The reality as portrayed here can be bloody awful: unattractive, smelly clients, young girls having to service men in their 50s/60s/70s (yikes!) and jolly well look like their enjoying it to boot! I realise that on the more infamous boards one can't very well moan too much about bad experiences, bad PA and all that but to read some of the SPs posts, one would indeed think that they've swallowed 'Belle du Jour'!
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Er, well some women really do love the job just as others hate it and I daresay most of us are somewhere in the middle. Whether or not somebody chooses to 'fake it' (and it's not clear whether you mean during sex or just generally being nice to your customers) is up to them - I would be amazed to hear that anybody had never, ever had to take a deep breath and stick a smile on their face when they didn't really feel like it irrespective of the job they were doing. I spent my entire career as a barmaid doing precisely that, and I didn't earn ?130 an hour for it, either; equally whether or not people people tout on punting boards is neither here nor there - if some choose to market themselves in this way that's up to them to get away with whatever they can. Most people can see straight through it and I doubt it has a particularly positive affect.
The purpose of this thread is to help newbies consider all aspects of the job and potential repercussions so they can think about whether or not they're cut out for it, not to slag off either prostitution or punters - we provide a place here where people can moan about bad experiences if they want to, but this would not really include clients being older or 'unattractive' say, because having sex with people you don't fancy is part of the job. If all somebody wants to do is see people they do fancy, then prostitution probably isn't for them and that's fine, but that isn't the same thing as 'some people don't enjoy working as prostitutes, therefore prostitution is bad'. I never find clients attractive in a 'potential partner' sense because I'm not interested and just don't think that way when I'm working, but that doesn't mean I don't like, value and respect my clients as people and the genuinely unpleasant ones I've met in ten and a half years I can count on one hand. If you go back and read the thread starter here, the main focus is on aspects which are nothing to do with punters (stigma, danger and so on) for precisely this reason.
This is a help and advice forum, and people don't generally need help and advice unless something is wrong which may well present something of a skewed picture (in that nobody is likely to pitch up and start a thread about how they've had a day of perfectly fine and unremarkable, run of the mill bookings today) but whilst what happens on other forums is not a matter for discussion here, just because somebody else's view doesn't concur with your own, it doesn't make them wrong and nor does it automatically mean they must be making it up. It's clear from your posts that you have a fairly low opinion of your clients, but whilst that's a real shame (and if you really are constantly having such a dreadful time it's maybe an idea to either change the way you work or get out altogether) it is not carte blanche to talk about either punters as a group or men generally as if they were little better than farm animals, and we won't have this kind of sexist rubbish on the forum.
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Er, well some women really do love the job just as others hate it and I daresay most of us are somewhere in the middle. Whether or not somebody chooses to 'fake it' (and it's not clear whether you mean during sex or just generally being nice to your customers) is up to them - I would be amazed to hear that anybody had never, ever had to take a deep breath and stick a smile on their face when they didn't really feel like it irrespective of the job they were doing. I spent my entire career as a barmaid doing precisely that, and I didn't earn ?130 an hour for it, either; equally whether or not people people tout on punting boards is neither here nor there - if some choose to market themselves in this way that's up to them to get away with whatever they can. Most people can see straight through it and I doubt it has a particularly positive affect.
The purpose of this thread is to help newbies consider all aspects of the job and potential repercussions so they can think about whether or not they're cut out for it, not to slag off either prostitution or punters - we provide a place here where people can moan about bad experiences if they want to, but this would not really include clients being older or 'unattractive' say, because having sex with people you don't fancy is part of the job. If all somebody wants to do is see people they do fancy, then prostitution probably isn't for them and that's fine, but that isn't the same thing as 'some people don't enjoy working as prostitutes, therefore prostitution is bad'. I never find clients attractive in a 'potential partner' sense because I'm not interested and just don't think that way when I'm working, but that doesn't mean I don't like, value and respect my clients as people and the genuinely unpleasant ones I've met in ten and a half years I can count on one hand. If you go back and read the thread starter here, the main focus is on aspects which are nothing to do with punters (stigma, danger and so on) for precisely this reason.
This is a help and advice forum, and people don't generally need help and advice unless something is wrong which may well present something of a skewed picture (in that nobody is likely to pitch up and start a thread about how they've had a day of perfectly fine and unremarkable, run of the mill bookings today) but whilst what happens on other forums is not a matter for discussion here, just because somebody else's view doesn't concur with your own, it doesn't make them wrong and nor does it automatically mean they must be making it up. It's clear from your posts that you have a fairly low opinion of your clients, but whilst that's a real shame (and if you really are constantly having such a dreadful time it's maybe an idea to either change the way you work or get out altogether) it is not carte blanche to talk about either punters as a group or men generally as if they were little better than farm animals, and we won't have this kind of sexist rubbish on the forum.
Hey, hold your horses! I was not doing anything but echoing some of the negative points of escorting, so why get defensive with me? I didn't say anything that has not already been said on this thread and I certainly was not 'having' a go at prostitutes! This is an open forum for debate, right?
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Yes it is, but some subjects (among them punting forums and their members, given that discussion of people who are not here to participate themselves is unfair on both them, and also those reading here who have no idea what we're talking about and couldn't care less) are off topic here and likewise baseless derogatory posting about men generally and punters in particular.
Your posts read to me as an expression of delight that you've apparently found a place to do this, and this one didn't seem to address much in terms of the thread title so my post was an assurance that this is not the case. Whilst we certainly don't encourage anybody to censor themselves and I'm well aware that some people and places do make it difficult for anybody to say anything even remotely negative about the job without getting jumped on, the purpose of this thread is not to paint the job as bad but instead help those considering it to think about aspects of it they might not have previously taken into account. Depending on their plans for the future, having to shag somebody who's a bit fat or has manky teeth is likely to be the least of their worries.
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I agree with you that shagging men whom one doesn't find attractive or who are dirty is the least of an escort's worries but the fact remains, it is a concern that has been brought up time and time again on this thread/forum, so obviously it needs to be shared! Wgs are human and there is only so much they should be expected to put up with. Apologies if I contravened the forum rules in bringing up other forums, notably forums that are mainly populated by punters, and admittedly I am not aware of all the rules that might apply. Ok, should have read 'The Rules' lol.
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Trusting men is an issue for me now. It really takes it's toll on relationships.
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I would add "Having Sex with Ugly People" to the list. While hygeine is an absolute minimum and should be expected, the fact is that many clients are unnattractive. You will get the occasional hottie, but you do have to ask yourself if having sex with someone you aren't attracted to is going to be a problem.
"Awkwardness" is another issue. Your client may behave perfectly acceptably but there is no real click between you. This can leave you feeling horrible. Additionally, many polite and clean clients are shy and inexperienced and may be poor communicators. This can feel embarrassing and awkward, and you will walk away from the booking wondering whether you can do this job. If you can ignore or accept these feeling, then you'll be fine, but if not, reconsider entering the profession.
Having sex with an ugly one is what stopped me doing it... and the teeth aaaah and he tried to kiss me even worst he tried to put it in without protection :FF... HELL NO! I think up to that point I was spoilt. I had Asian, Black and White men and they were all good looking professionals.
I guess you have to be prepared for the douches! I wasn't...
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I'm really relieved to read this thread as I have heard the total opposite on other boards frequented by punters, i.e. wgs professing to really love the job and saying they never have to 'fake it' with clients as they are *all* soooo wonderful. The reality as portrayed here can be bloody awful: unattractive, smelly clients, young girls having to service men in their 50s/60s/70s (yikes!) and jolly well look like their enjoying it to boot! I realise that on the more infamous boards one can't very well moan too much about bad experiences, bad PA and all that but to read some of the SPs posts, one would indeed think that they've swallowed 'Belle du Jour'!
I actually really like Belle De Jour and I am fascinated by her story.
I couldn't agree more with what Amy said.
xx
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On a high from escorting having fun and the money, only to realize that this comes with some form of isolation.
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On a high from escorting having fun and the money, only to realize that this comes with some form of isolation.
I agree MD this job can be very isolating and I think can affect your personal and social life in a negative way. Even when my phone is switched off and I'm not in sex kitten mode anymore I'm still lying in bed thinking about advertising, promoting my profile, my pictures...basically what more I can do to keep my business going and do better and get more money!!!
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OBSESSIVE clients. Not sure if this has already been covered.
Boy do they get really obsessive.
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Gazing out the window from time to time watching the world go by. Then carrying on like normal doing this.
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having sex with ugly people can be tough, even you get used to it with the time
poor social life,
no career prospects.
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You have to be so careful and you have some very clever and deceitful people out there who want to take you for a mug. You need to try and follow your gut as well as you can and read up about people and the kinds of scams they are running.
as well as people wanting to haggle with you and get freebies and free phone sex off you obsessive guys ect. (everyone like that is marked as 'idiot' on my phone so I treat them all the same with a big fat IGNORE lol)
If you are not a particular strong person this job can tear you up in a lot of ways. You can turn a bit cold and stop trusting people.
I know this is a page is to down trod escorting a bit but I have to disagree with a few things said on here! But its all personal opinion and some from personal experience so I can't judge.
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For me personally, the positives are massive, but if I had to put the annoyances, they'd include:
Text tennis wankers who just take up my time; although I now just cut off
Shagging ugly blokes that you wouldn't look twice at
Being frantically licked and being asked 'you like it baby' - no not really, but lets hurry this along, while I mentally plan when I'm putting up my Christmas tree ::)
Fetish/service requests that make your eyes water
Phone going at all hours; although it's off/on silent when I'm not working
As things currently stand, I personally wouldn't consider NOT being an escort, although it's not for everyone x
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For me personally, the positives are massive, but if I had to put the annoyances, they'd include:
Text tennis wankers who just take up my time; although I now just cut off
Shagging ugly blokes that you wouldn't look twice at
Being frantically licked and being asked 'you like it baby' - no not really, but lets hurry this along, while I mentally plan when I'm putting up my Christmas tree ::)
Fetish/service requests that make your eyes water
Phone going at all hours; although it's off/on silent when I'm not working
As things currently stand, I personally wouldn't consider NOT being an escort, although it's not for everyone x
people ring me all times of day/night
i work for an agency when times are slow so i have my phone on when i get in at 5/6 am and some one calls me a 6:55 i want to killll them ha
as for ugly mother F***ERS it comes with the job
i hate the drugged up people ive only come across one working independently but for the agency urghhh so many
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Men that ask what I would like and what can they do to please me! I want them to just get on with it and clear off! I cant bare it when men play with or lick my clit to try and make me cum. Ain't gonna happen boys.
Men that want you to rim them and they have remnants of poop on their bum cheeks
Men with micro-dicks. What on earth am I supposed to do with that?!
Men that just want to text, and ask a thousand questions, even though the answers are on my profile
Men that don't show up and i'm left sat their in my stockings and no money!
Abrupt and abusive texts or messages, as though I'm the lowest form of scum!
French kissing ugly men or having their yukky licky tongues all over me
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...also
Keep in mind how much you need to spend on stockings!! I must spend a fortune on these! And you can never have enough outfits, I get asked to look like a maid, schoolgirl, mother, secretary... I have spent a lot on outfits and some i've only worn a couple of times
Think about were you will be working from. I use my own bed and bedding, sometimes the bedroom can be a bit smelly.
Some men can disclose some disturbing fantasies. Are you ok listening to these?
Do they know if you live alone or not? Security is so important, you never know if a drunken punter might decide to call by and try his luck.
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Hoping the neighbours don't find out is another (mild) concern. That is one of the main reasons I don't see too many clients. I have to turn away quite a few ....
Trying to remain hardworking despite not feeling motivated as it is easy to get complacent once we have had some time off e.g. over Xmas and getting back in the work mindset can be hard going.
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When they ask if you have a boyfriend.
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These posts remind me of a something a dear friend in law enforcement told me--they see the best in people AND the worst in people. I often think we do too.
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Very true
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These posts remind me of a something a dear friend in law enforcement told me--they see the best in people AND the worst in people. I often think we do too.
Yes, in this job we get to see the good, the bad and the ugly (I mean personality, not looks) Its certainly an eye opener to the reality of what people are like.
I think a lot of the time we do often get just the good bits of them, they are on their best behaviour (as we are in a booking), they go home to their wives/partners happy, we are then happy (because of the money) So its a win win situation all round really :-)
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The hardest moment I have ever had escorting was when my ex boyfriend (at the time we both were openly still in love with each other and even though we broke up it felt like I was cheating on him every time I worked) told me he found out. Apparently someone forwarded him my AW profile, he will never tell me who. We were having an argument on the phone (we lived in separate cities) over something trivial and he said something along the lines of 'oh and you are always right aren't you Angel (then working name)'. I dropped the phone and broke down crying, then numb with shock just said 'how do you know'.
Later on he told me the main reason he was so angry was that he was scared I would end up badly hurt or killed.
Even now years later, and happily with someone who knows and accepts what I do, its making me tear up writing this. Gosh I'm a sappy idiot some times.
I know I'm quoting an old post, but I just noticed this thread and wanted to highlight this.
No matter how well you hide it, no matter what you do, people can find out. I had a similar experience to this, and I had thought I was oh so clever.
Then boyfriend calls me one day, and out of the blue comes out with 'I know all about xxxxx' (Place I worked the first time around doing this type of work before I went indie). And I started shaking, I swear I literally went into shock. And he just said 'Your silence says it all'. He said various stories, someone he knows saw me going in there (doubtful), he suspected so he followed me one day to see where I went (most likely in my mind). I don't know to this day how I fucked up, but somehow I did and he found out. We carried on for a while, but things were never the same, he cheated a lot in revenge and eventually of course we split, and it came as close to completely breaking me as I think anything ever will.
I love this job and the freedom and flexibility that comes with it, but it did cost me someone that I still, all these years later, really love.
It does take someone really special to understand the business well enough to accept their partner doing it - and, whatever anyone says, it does.
I want to meet someone now but have the issue of do I tell them? When do I tell them? How do I tell them? It's a total minefield.
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Whilst there's loads of positives, I would never recommend this job due to most of the posts already written on here.
1. I can never switch off. Even when I worked for my agency exclusively and all I had to do was turn up, do my job and leave, it's all I could ever think about. I check my profile on days off, holidays etc. I've tried to ban myself whilst on holidays but I find it so fucking hard.
2. Not having a security reserve. I used to be great with money but due to quitting my well paid job to study, racking up a shit load of debt and wanting to give myself treats, I feel like I'm always living hand to mouth. Some months I don't even make enough to cover my bills depending on how much I've worked and times can get tough. Alongside breaks, illnesses etc, it can be hard to keep a reserve fund topped up. I've also had the stupid mind set that 'it's okay to buy that bag/holiday/etc, I can always put the money back tomorrow' and if tomorrow's dead, it can be a real struggle.
3. The detrimental effects it can have on personal relationships. I've not been close to having a real relationship while doing this job. My experience has either been men who don't approve, men I haven't told and I don't want to live a lie, men who think that because I'm an escort, that's all I am, I'm in work mode 24/7. I just want to be me, it's difficult to be open with someone who respects that and isn't jealous, possessive etc.
4. The fear of being outed. My friends know but my family doesn't. I live at home and I'm constantly petrified incase my parents find out. I've been outed over Facebook on numerous occasions but I've always managed to deny it, I think one day I'll not be able to deny it anymore.
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I would recommend to some but it's def not for everyone and hard to go back and stop. I've been doing I suppose sex work for years but only escorting for a short time now and it's something you secretly almost become obsessed with. I enjoy in a lot of ways but I must admit I haven't dated at all since I started & I'm almost avoiding it because deep down I don't want to end up in a situation where I'd maybe have to think of stopping. I don't even want to stop & feel my clients actually treat me better sometimes then guys my own age lol. But I do know this is a little unhealthy, depending on how you look at it. How I think of men and relationships has already changed and I don't know if I could really be in a relationship in the traditional sense and fully believe in it.
The level of money is addicting, extremely addicting & I like a certain level of lifestyle. The problem is with me is I could easily survive on a much smaller amount of money but I have issues that make it very difficult for me to manage and fully stick to a rigid routine with ease but I am a social person in ways that suit this type of thing.
I agree about how if you don't keep something on your CV it can be difficult to get out of. What I suggest is to get a job where you're on casual hours that are just offered to you and whether you take them is up to you...That way if in the end it's not for you, you've technically been "employed" by a company that you can confidently talk of in an interview.
If you're a very sensitive person it's probably best not to become an escort. Constantly being judged and rated or not being rated at all might effect you too much. Also some clients can get a bit emotionally attached so it's knowing when to tell them what they want to hear in some ways but also knowing where to draw a line and not giving something too much attention haha.
If you have substance problems then you would be putting yourself in vulnerable situations where clients may see opportunity to take advantage of you. Even getting a little carried away on drinks could be dangerous but also lose you money if clients do try and take the piss with going over time.
Also if you are not quite a sensual or sexual person who enjoys meeting new people or develops attachments easily then that probably is a big reason not to escort...
All that being I said I do personally enjoy it & understood some things that may happen. There's something for everyone, but for sure there are a lot of risks. Inside worrying for your safety when you're meeting someone for the first time is an actual true concern but it can be exciting at the same time. The feedback systems do help a lot with that though & sometimes what your work previous to escorting has been can effect how desensitized or sensitive you are to that bit.
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I haven't been on for ages so apologies for jumping into this thread late but felt the need to post that the biggest and by far the most damaging aspect of this job is that I now KNOW about men. My chances of having a real relationship with a man are zero. I have seen and heard so much from men that I could never, ever trust one again. I know another very successful (now more or less retired) escort who tells me the same. She's just hit 50, travelled the world (paid) and has resigned herself to never being in another relationship because of how she feels about men. I feel the same. I don't hate them - I just know I could never trust one to be faithful so would rather not bother. This to me, is the price I've had to pay for earning all the money. Ignorance really is bliss I'm afraid.
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Only been an escort for 9 months. Hand on heart, I will be doing this job for as long as I can, I love the money! I'm 42 and its the first time Ive ever had savings! However, these are the crappy bits I've had-
As a very submissive woman, I found it hard to tell a man to go wash his cock that tasted of stale piss - incase i offended him
DFK guys when they have horrible mucky teeth
Numerous injuries to my ninny caused by sharp nails and rough men
Infections caused by dirty fingers
The appearence of skin tags in my ninny
The phone never stopping
The never ending stream of pictures of mens cocks of videos of them wanking being sent
Annoying text message, such as 'Hi' or 'ur fit'
Feast or famine - fucking more men in a day than I want to, because it might be dead quiet the next day
Emotional exhaustion - I have a bit of adhd, so concentrating on a guy for an hour at a times really knackers me
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You do need to be more discerning or you're going to catch something. Not necessarily an std but you have to have boundaries. Make it clear they have to wash their hands and cock before anything starts and buy a work phone. I could never use my own phone. You get idiots texting and ringing at all hours. I've even had booking requests at 4.00am for 5.30am. This is even though it states my phone is switched off at a certain time. There would be no peace at all if I couldn't switch my work phone off.
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Only been an escort for 9 months. Hand on heart, I will be doing this job for as long as I can, I love the money! I'm 42 and its the first time Ive ever had savings! However, these are the crappy bits I've had-
As a very submissive woman, I found it hard to tell a man to go wash his cock that tasted of stale piss - incase i offended him
DFK guys when they have horrible mucky teeth
Numerous injuries to my ninny caused by sharp nails and rough men
Infections caused by dirty fingers
The appearence of skin tags in my ninny
The phone never stopping
The never ending stream of pictures of mens cocks of videos of them wanking being sent
Annoying text message, such as 'Hi' or 'ur fit'
Feast or famine - fucking more men in a day than I want to, because it might be dead quiet the next day
Emotional exhaustion - I have a bit of adhd, so concentrating on a guy for an hour at a times really knackers me
Darling, you need to look after yourself or else you will get ill.
It's not being dominant to ask a man to wash his hands or his cock. Offer them the bathroom when they arrive, or, once you get down to business if it smells/tastes a bit off then say "Do you mind washing?" - it doesn't have to be rude or forceful, this is your health and it's worth protecting.
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I can relate to all of these posts. The hardest part for me is that although i have told myself I can stop escorting anytime I want to, I have been doing it for 6 years,tried to stop, but always go back to it because its good money for the minimum amount of time. For me,its addictive and Im 52 now,I really dont want to be at it in my 60s or 70s lol. As soon as I earn money,i cant spend it quick enough and think its ok because i can earn some more the next day...but sometimes the "next day" or the days after that are quiet. Timewasters, hairy balls and men that have to be reminded to pay me are other pet hates with the job. I fell in love with a punter and married him,gave up the job, but the marriage was a disaster because we couldnt trust each other. There are so many negatives attached to our profession and we have to become tough cookies to deal with the pitfalls..its not for the faint hearted. Im currently trying to reduce the escorting and do more webcam and phone call work instead,and this is what i would recommend to women who are new to the sex industry,ease yourself into it gently and don't rush straight into the escort side of it.
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As soon as I earn money,i cant spend it quick enough and think its ok because i can earn some more the next day...but sometimes the "next day" or the days after that are quiet.
That's really not just you, Abi! There are money management tips and suchlike scattered all over the forum, but we have a whole thread here (http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=28519.) about precisely this which is well worth a read :).
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That's really not just you, Abi! There are money management tips and suchlike scattered all over the forum, but we have a whole thread here (http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=28519.) about precisely this which is well worth a read :).
Which thread is this?
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Which thread is this?
I can't easily post another link because I'm on the stupid tablet now, but if you click on 'here' the one above should work? It's fine for me, but if it's playing up let me know and I'll have another look :).
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I see it now!
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Hi Amy and thank u for that link...its nice to know im not the only one!!!x
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Only been an escort for 9 months. Hand on heart, I will be doing this job for as long as I can, I love the money! I'm 42 and its the first time Ive ever had savings! However, these are the crappy bits I've had-
As a very submissive woman, I found it hard to tell a man to go wash his cock that tasted of stale piss - incase i offended him
DFK guys when they have horrible mucky teeth
Numerous injuries to my ninny caused by sharp nails and rough men
Infections caused by dirty fingers
The appearence of skin tags in my ninny
The phone never stopping
The never ending stream of pictures of mens cocks of videos of them wanking being sent
Annoying text message, such as 'Hi' or 'ur fit'
Feast or famine - fucking more men in a day than I want to, because it might be dead quiet the next day
Emotional exhaustion - I have a bit of adhd, so concentrating on a guy for an hour at a times really knackers me
One day you will see that inner happiness and good mental health are far more important than money; I've been a hooker for 11 years on+off and its only now that I'm starting to realise this!! The first year of being a hooker is a honeymoon period and its all because of money!!! Save save save and always stop for a break when you wake up one day & say to yourself 'I really don't wanna do this'& its maybe only a 30min appointment abd you could be sitting with no electricity and no cash & you still don't want to do it then thats when its time to hang up your stockings; either temporarily or forever. Enjoy the H'moon whilst it lasts xx
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1)
*Belle de jour * film what a load of crap I saw it for the first time this week and prefered personal services/band of gold!
If people not escorting are imagining its like that french film god help them !!!!
This film by Luis Bunuel is based on a novel by Joseph Kessel. I liked the movie, which I saw two or three times. But I have the impression that the film mainly describes male fantasies.
In any case, cinema always represents in a rather fanciful way the work of sex workers.
2) Personally, I feel that the work of an escort resembles the work of a secret agent. One must constantly lie and pretend to be someone else. This keeps you in a state of constant nervous tension.
Or else if you tell the truth about you, you must be ready to suffer the consequences: broken friendships, difficult love relationships, severe judgment on the part of your family, etc ...
The main problem for me is doing an activity that I like but that society as a whole judges severely.
If everything had to be started again now, I think that would be the number one reason not to become an escort.
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From my own experience the biggest drawback is the stigma attached to the job. Once they find out what you do, friends and even family will distance themselves from you if not drop you completely. I was lucky at first. I was married when I started and my husband was supportive. He covered for me and helped me keep my job secret. Once we divorced I lost my confidant and became careless. My family soon found out and were horrified. I'd brought shame on the family name and they disowned me. I haven't spoken to my dad or brother in years, though mum calls me behind dad's back once in a while to make sure I'm OK.
Romantic dating is very difficult. Not many men want to get emotionally involved with an escort. When a guy does show some interest you always wonder if he has a motive. You wonder if he really loves and cares about you or if he just gets off from what you do, or he thinks you're a ready supply of cash. The work makes you cynical too, and you become harder and more difficult to love. It did with me anyway. I never even considered what would happen if I split from my husband until it happened, and then I was forced to learn the hard way :(
You'll find it incredibly hard to stop. I was 21, studying for my degree and mature for my age when I started. I planned to quit once I graduated and got myself a regular job. I did graduate and I did manage to get a decent job. The pay wasn't amazing but the prospects were good, providing I worked hard. And there's the rub. I was working 50 hours some weeks for the same money I could earn in 4 as an escort. Within a year I resigned and returned to escorting full time. There have been times when I've doubted my decision. Losing my family was truly awful. But I know deep down that I could never go back to a regular job. Even if you do get out it will always affect you. You cross a line that first time you take money from a client in return for sex, and it changes what you are for the rest of your life.
I don't want to sound too negative. I love this job despite the drawbacks and I don't think I'd be as content as I am now had I stuck with my original career. The trick is to spend your money wisely and save to give yourself time off. By all means work as much as you like while you're enjoying it, but have a bit put by so you can take a break when it all gets too much. Besides holidays with my boyfriend (yes, I have managed to find one), I aim to take 3 months off every couple of years to recharge my batteries.
Good luck :)
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When a guy does show some interest you always wonder if he has a motive. You wonder if he really loves and cares about you or if he just gets off from what you do, or he thinks you're a ready supply of cash.
The work makes you cynical too, and you become harder and more difficult to love. It did with me anyway. I never even considered what would happen if I split from my husband until it happened, and then I was forced to learn the hard way :(
Besides holidays with my boyfriend (yes, I have managed to find one), I aim to take 3 months off every couple of years to recharge my batteries.
It sounds like a very rational assessment, rather than simplistically being "negative". I agree with Lotus, too. If escorting life wasn't so complicated, we wouldn't be using a site like this. :)
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Interesting article. I have been in this industry for a number of years. I always believed that when I stopped escorting, I would be able to pick up my life, and put it all behind me. I stopped for four years, and to be honest I didn't feel a bit different. I couldn't pick up my life and forget all about it in the way I hoped, because there is always the knowledge at the back of your mind that you have been a prostitute. There are so many things that I feel I could have done differently if I had made different choices- and now I will never know. Unfortunately every action has a reaction, and this job does change you in many ways.
This. I haven't worked in years but the fear of being outed is still the same. It doesn't matter if I worked yesterday or a decade ago, people's reactions would still be the same. A guy stopped and stared at me in the shop today and I've been paranoid ever since, heart palpatations the lot. I need some Inderal I think.
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This. I haven't worked in years but the fear of being outed is still the same. It doesn't matter if I worked yesterday or a decade ago, people's reactions would still be the same. A guy stopped and stared at me in the shop today and I've been paranoid ever since, heart palpatations the lot. I need some Inderal I think.
Not sure what Inderal is..but maybe the guy that stopped and stared at you did so you because he thought you were gorgeous :-*
I can say that the fear of being outed is always there but until it happens don't live in fear of something that hasn't or may never happen. Life goes on and anyway it none of anyone's business how any adult chooses to live their life.
Back on point escorting can cause self doubt and a lot of soul searching and yes we see a side of men (and women) that others don't see.
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One of the negatives is that it's very draining. I just want to sleep most of the time. It's harder work than most people on the outside realise. I have to constantly work at my advertising, work out how the advert appeals to the audience and reassess what will bring me more business.
Another thing that is draining is constantly acting, pretending to enjoy the oral or fingering and staying in character. I can't just simply have a bad day, as that costs me customers, which would make point number 1 if useless.
Furthermore, it's difficult to have your worth based entirely on your looks. Skills do help, but if the looks are off, the package isn't right. I'm my own worst critic, so every time that a client tells me I'm lovely, that's a reminder that I can't let myself go, even if it's just for a couple of days. If your self-esteem isn't good and you're a perfectionist, it's hard to deal with.
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I had a client recently,nice enough man but when he got on the bed with me he informed me that he had recently had radiotherapy and some chemo. He said that he was told at the hospital that any sexual activity would be risky if sharing his bodily fluids!! I do offer OWO and CIM as part of my service. Ive now had a rethink and dont do either of these anymore as it was a shock. Imagine if he hadnt have told me...i wouldnt have been any wiser and would have put myself at risk. Ive been escorting for a few years and thought I had it all sorted and worked out...this was a wake up call to me. x
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Soul destroying bit by bit.
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Usually I love escorting but if they were like the last man I would stop instantly.
He was my last client I asked him to shower he refused and said he had a shower recently.
I was too tired and surprised to argue.
I got him to wash his hands :(
The stench from his breath was overwhelming then the fight between it and the BO was madness, I nearly told him to get off and shower, I really should have done.
I stink the smell of his breath wont leave my nose and I smell and the room does too and its late I have to open the windows for fresh air :(
He kept trying to kiss me and his breath was killing me and his mouth was foamy from gunk.
Last man that ever touches me after refusing a shower that was a dead sheep I swear it.
Pity of it is he was young and quite good looking but his pits tell he never has used spray.
Feeling very sorry for myself and going for another shower and more mouth wash.
Lesson learned no more politeness
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Yeah you will have to fuck random men but you probably got that. I wouldn't say that is the worst part ;)
This work can tend to create a vicious circle. Fast money is addictive. The stigma means you might gradually isolate yourself. When you feel rubbish you can make shitty decisions and you could find yourself in trouble either physically, psychologically or emotionally. You need to be five steps ahead. You need coping mechanisms. You need friends and family but the stigma makes it really difficult. You need thick skin, a long term plan and a couple of fucking good friends, for me honestly I don't think I could have done it otherwise.
Have you thought about what you'll do when someone starts getting aggressive? Do you have security organised? Does anyone even know where you are going? Things can get really dangerous really quickly and you NEED to be prepared for that. If you think it won't happen to you then it probably will. There are ways to work as safely as possible so try to educate yourself as much as possible. It's never your fault if someone attacks you or forces themselves on you but you have to be aware of the risks and try to minimise them.
So yeah having sex with men that you don't find conventionally attractive should be a given. It's easy to underestimate the other stuff too like kissing and oral but that can make up a big part of what you do. You have to choose which services that you will be TRULY happy offering and stick to them or you have recipe for disaster. Like, if you've done anal a couple of times with a bf and liked it, that doesn't necessarily mean you'll enjoy it with a stranger in a rushed hours booking. I find snogging strangers weirder than fucking them so I'm up front about the fact that I don't offer full on french kissing as a service. People WILL try to test and push your boundaries and unfortunately you will have to teach them how to show respect. You have to be strong and protect yourself as much as possible. I have found the ability to find something, ANYTHING, attractive in another person an invaluable skill!
There are many reasons not to be an escort.
Equally there are reasons to be.
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You see the unpleasant side of men. They are out there, barely able to speak, drunk, high, dipping their c"cks in mouths of 5 girls whilst their wife thinks the dearest is asleep in a hotel, or having a drink with business partners.
Sucks to be that woman. Sucks to be a woman who witnesses this because in the future you will know/think what your dearest might be up to.
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I realise there are many reasons not to be an escort. I think though that there are lots of reasons not to do other jobs as well.
I've had quite a few boring jobs which I've had to leave, otherwise I would have slashed my wrists eg, a packing factory, a shop assistant.
A prison warden is very dangerous (not done it myself)
I'm fairly happy being an escort :-) Most of the time :)
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So, wanted to post on here for a while and now think my current mood has made me feel ready so here goes, my own personal reasons:
It can be very lonely, like it feels like you cant speak to anyone about it and it feels like its a huge secret.
It is very time consuming, like simply at times you are just waiting by the phone and feels like you cant do anything but wait.
For sure its a very feast or famine style of job, yeah its an amazing feeling when you get a good day of work and yes it is a lot of money in a short space of time but other days can be nothing and you have no idea when your next good day could be.
For sure takes away your social life, I know you always have a choice but all depends on the reasons why you escort but if your doing it to save huge chunks of money, well every single possible hour potential earning is important and cant be missed.
I find it hard to stick to my days off and hours off I dont work, in an ideal world would love to be able to set myself a proper working day and give myself 1/2 full days off, but if ive had no work on my working days, puts pressure on me to work more. May of had a 'day off' as got no work but staying in, waiting by the phone and stressing as the day ends is not a day off.
Feeling like I cannot go on hoilday or trips away. Used to go away with my mum a lot as I am all she has, but lately I havent been able to, which overall I am cool with as I am earning money but it is a bit soul destroying when I choose to 'work' and be alone but there is no work, so I think I could of gone. Like I usually go on hoilday in the summer but I have decided not to next year. Yes this is my choice but I am so far behind on saving money from this, so I just cant afford to have 2 weeks off.
(please bare in mind this is my own personal reason, understand and respect the fact we are all different) for me I feel pressure to stay in shape and look my best. I gain weight so easily so I have to always be at the gym but this is time consuming and has to fit in with my working hours but its important to me as even in my personal life I have struggled with my own body image, I do feel I have to look a certain way.
Always that fear of being 'caught'. I honestly dont know how my close family and friends would react if they found out but I just dont want them to know. My own personal choice but in doing so, it is very draining at times.
Meeting very rude and clients who dont wash properly, its just gross and horrible to deal with.
Having to put on a 'fake smile' and go through the same routine over and over again for new clients, come on we are only human but it has to be done.
Always that threat of them turning nasty, either in person or even if you havent met. If you met, and they know your address always that threat that they could turn up unexpected and attract unwanted attention especially if you had friends or family round.
They simply try to push for things you simply do not do and you make this clear or they push you to lower your price.
The ones who dont know basic English so its just plain awkward and you feel rude saying no but it would be no good overall.
The ones who are pure timewasters who book you and at the very last minute give you a very poor excuse or even worse, turn up, walk in and then make some poor excuse and want to go. That one is the worse!
The ones who clearly want a 'freebie' or in more crude terms a 'free wank'. Come on escorts are not a charity service, we do this for a reason!
Personally myself I actually find it draining (physically and emotionally) to put it crudely, getting fucked 'hard' by maybe 3/4 different clients a day. Sorry, thats just me. There will be days where you just get a day of meets like that, least if you get a nice dinner date one or not just sex meet helps, but never is like that all the time.
When a client books you but then keeps bothering you with just useless or pointless texts/emails. You have a life and other things to do and again it seems like they are pushing for a 'freebie'.
Some clients who you spend time with have simply disgusting habits, like smelling of smoke, not showered properly, chew gum and expect french kissing, if they have a shower they leave your bathroom a complete state and for me a gross habit thats happened a couple of times, when he has cum and you turn your back to get tissue, wipes and he has decided to take off and just throw on the floor the used condom (cheers for that) and also him cumming all over the bed (just plain gross)
If an incall, the ones who go over their time and just take the complete piss. You dont mind by 4/5 mins but anything over is plain rude.
Dealing with the stigma attached to the job, I know not everyone feels this but I do take things too much to heart at times and care too much what people think, know I shouldnt but thats just who I am.
Being sexual and having to seem like you are enjoying it even if you are not attracted to them, sounds shallow and most clients I see who I dont like sexually are actually lovely and enjoy talking to them and if could take sex out of it, would be great but hey, thats not how it works sadly.
Having to have regular sexual health testing (I know you should do that anyway) but this is a lot more regular and there of course is always the chance of catching something.
Sometimes having to pay out for advertising, condoms, lube, toys, outfits etc. Which you dont mind as you put in to get out but feels bad when you go for days without earning anything.
knowing, no matter how much you do, research, put into place and have learned from past experience this job will never be 100% safe, there is always a high risk.
If you go for days without a meet, it makes you think is it me? so you drive yourself crazy trying to think of ways to get more work and even take on very risk work as you are desperate for the money.
Wow I know a lot of reasons not to and for me despite that, I am happy to do this. Life is full of risks, sadly this kind of work seems to have more than most. Know this isnt the right place to say that but thought worth mentioning too :)
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[Giant quote redacted]
Hugs and kindness your way, and a virtual cup of tea or coffee x
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Hugs and kindness your way, and a virtual cup of tea or coffee x
Thanks but dont suppose you do hot chocolate please? dont like tea/coffee lol. Hugs to you too x
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The main stresses for me in the job - which incidentally I have no intention of ever leaving as I greatly enjoy it - are the issue of discretion and the social stigma attached. The strain of an 'underground' lifestyle.
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trouble getting out
Most people don't go into prostitution expecting to do it for the rest of their working lives, but once you're in it can be hard to get out. The money, free time and freedom can be addictive, so many former escorts slip back into it after trying to cope with being told what to do for 40 hours a week and earning less than they could in 10. If you're not studying or doing a day job, you'll have a hole in your CV which is difficult to explain and becomes more problematic the longer you escort.
very true, explaining what i did for 10 years was very difficult, had to start in a very lowly job earning low wages and work my way up. Lucky i have a partner who knew what i did and supported me
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The main stresses for me in the job - which incidentally I have no intention of ever leaving as I greatly enjoy it - are the issue of discretion and the social stigma attached. The strain of an 'underground' lifestyle.
+1
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The main stresses for me in the job - which incidentally I have no intention of ever leaving as I greatly enjoy it - are the issue of discretion and the social stigma attached. The strain of an 'underground' lifestyle.
I agree. Re-reading the original post (OP), I realise how true that is. The OP appears to be a very young woman (who used to work as the full-time escort?), likely highly intelligent and extremely aware, she probably had a lot to lose as a young woman, who was yet to experience what her life, as an intelligent young woman, had to offer e.g. falling in love, have beautiful children, having a stable family life (and all that ideal fantasy/reality young women naturally strive to have) etc. I'm assuming that she had the negative perception towards escorting at the time when the post was written (and possibly moved on).
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For those worrying about returning to civvy jobs with a massive gap in your CV, I'd recommend doing voluntary work one day a week to provide a reference (and IME employers just love charity references) and state you've been studying/bringing up a family/whatever during that career gap.
There are a lot of women who return to the workplace when the youngest hits primary school so employers are used to seeing this kind of gap on a CV.
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I agree. Re-reading the original post (OP), I realise how true that is. The OP appears to be a very young woman (who used to work as the full-time escort?), likely highly intelligent and extremely aware, she probably had a lot to lose as a young woman, who was yet to experience what her life, as an intelligent young woman, had to offer e.g. falling in love, have beautiful children, having a stable family life (and all that ideal fantasy/reality young women naturally strive to have) etc. I'm assuming that she had the negative perception towards escorting at the time when the post was written (and possibly moved on).
No, it was written because the OP was a site admin at the time of posting (now well over seven years ago) and we thought it would be a useful topic to have as a Sticky thread. Of all the regular posters we've ever had whether forum staff or not, the OP would have the least negative perception of any I can think of and even if she didn't, speculating about other people's possible reasons for posting anything is not the purpose of this or any other thread so we're not going to do it :).
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I've recently needed to replenish savings and I only work four days a week. If you find yourself coming into this work purely to save for something in your future, you will find yourself wanting to push yourself to work every hour you have free. There is a real chance of burning out and over tiring yourself, even if you are enjoying yourself and your work the time. It can also lead to pressuring yourself to accept another booking when really it's time to put your feet up and relax.
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No, I just wondered if this author was at the "crossroad" when she wrote it, but You are right. I was reading into it and reflecting my own feelings. I try not to think about it, especially in gloomy December. ::)
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Personally, I think the worst aspect for me is the sporadic income. I've just recently went full time and am really struggling.
Lying to everyone about where I work is also a lot of effort. Got to try and remember all the fake co-worker names, and come up with some things that happened at work, etc.
Hanging around waiting for the phone to ring is a pretty annoying feeling.
I also find that it can take away from your regular sex life. One in that you just don't have the time. I used to have quite a bit of casual sex but now don't really want to see someone in case I get a booking. For me as well I don't want to ruin the things I actually really enjoy irl, I'm into dominating and don't do it professionally (though I'd probably earn a lot more money if I did) as it ruins my enjoyment of it to do it with guys I don't find attractive.
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Yes the lack of a secure income is a definite disadvantage.
It is hard to make plans based on variable income.
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I have been an independent escort now for 4 years. Its been a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows. Some days I find it hard to motivate myself but that could be down to hormones? I have made a substantial amount of money and spent a substantial amount of money.
My advice is to set yourself a goal of how long you want to escort for
Always have funds saved for at least a months worth of outgoings for those weeks you cant work due to illness, periods and just a quiet time
Play safe at all times to maintain good health
Save as much as you can
Use your spare time to study for a qualification (At least if there is a gap in your CV you can say you have been studying)
Make friends with other escorts so you have someone to talk to
Get a part time job so you keep yourself grounded and not stuck in doors everyday as that will drive you mad
QueenB
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Despite what some people think, working as a prostitute can have a lot of positive points which we could all tell you about, but if you're thinking about it you've probably already come up with enough of your own. However, it's not a job for everyone and you might not have thought about some of the drawbacks.
Stigma
Ok this one's fairly obvious, but really think about it. It's easy, especially if you're young, to not think about how this could affect you. There are stories of people being anonymously outed at their other jobs even though they didn't show their faces on their websites and tabloids sometimes get in on the act too. Once you put some photos on the internet they never really go away, and even if you don't, with mobile phone cameras, discrete webcams built into computers, and even inexpensive spycams, you can never be sure there's no evidence around.
More personally, even when stop being an prostitute it will be part of your history. Are you going to be able to tell people close to you, or will you have to keep it a secret?
danger
This is another obvious one, but by being an escort you'll be putting yourself in situations which could be dangerous. We have ways to reduce this risk but it will always be present.
isolating
It can be lonely being an escort, especially if you don't feel able to tell the people around you. You'll have to lie to them which puts a strain on the relationship at your end and some people withdraw from their friends and family to spare themselves the stress of leading a double life. Even if you do tell people you know, they won't be able to relate to a lot of your experiences. Escorts, even those who work for an agency, rarely come into contact with each other if they don't make an effort to do so, so there aren't many opportunities to chat and unwind with people who know what you're talking about.
variable income
You've had a whole week without any work, and the week before was quiet. Are you feeling stressed? Rejected? Frustrated? Did you save enough money from that good week last month, or are you struggling to make ends meet?
You never know how much money you'll make in any day, week or month, but you still need to budget and manage your time. If you're the sort of person who spends whatever money you have, you're likely to get into financial trouble. If you just hate waiting for something to happen it can drive you crazy.
The unpredictability can also make it difficult to maintain a good work/life balance. If you know that a lull could hit at any time, will you be able to turn down a job because you've arranged to do something for your friends, family, or yourself?
no security
Not only could things get quiet at any time, but there's no sick pay or holiday pay. If you can't work because of illness or injury, or you just need a break, you're the one who has to provide for that. If you don't save up enough to live for at least a few weeks (I recommend three months), a little bad luck could really mess with your life.
people trying to take advantage of you
People regularly try to get what they want from us (money and/or sex, usually) on their own terms, and especially with new escorts. This includes offering you services for money or sex, offering to help you run your business in ways that would be simple to do yourself, trying to convince you to do things the way they want by claiming that everyone does it that way, and trying to either rip you off or get a service you don't offer once you're at a booking. You need to be able to spot them and in some cases be very sure of yourself in order to stand your ground.
relationships
Prostitution can be harmful to your relationships, including those with friends and family as described above, and especially romantic ones. If you keep your job a secret you'll have to lie to your partner regularly and they can never really know you. If you tell them then even if they accept it initially they often become unhappy with the idea as time goes on and trust breaks down. If they can cope most of the time it's still likely to be used against you in arguments.
If you go the disclosure route dating becomes more of a minefield than usual, as people may be attracted to your job rather than you; thinking that they can benefit from your income or that you'll be will to have sex all the time in ways they don't think they could normally get away with.
There are a few special people who can accept your job and treat you like a normal girlfriend or boyfriend, but even that isn't a perfect solution for some escorts, who can't cope with being with someone so non possessive.
Even after you stop working there can still be issues. You still need to choose whether to admit or hide that part of your past and deal with the consequences of either, and some people see men differently after having a lot of them as clients, which can be a problem if you want a boyfriend.
trouble getting out
Most people don't go into prostitution expecting to do it for the rest of their working lives, but once you're in it can be hard to get out. The money, free time and freedom can be addictive, so many former escorts slip back into it after trying to cope with being told what to do for 40 hours a week and earning less than they could in 10. If you're not studying or doing a day job, you'll have a hole in your CV which is difficult to explain and becomes more problematic the longer you escort.
Sex drive dies
I used to love sex... and having my clit licked...how that has changed
Uncertain income
Not being able to know that you have a steady income...if you get sick you wont be able to work
Guy pretending to like you so they can have free sex
Timewasters...pranks calls..
if you were doing this you would not have to deal with this sh1t
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I never really treat the job as a "job". Before I started to do this professionally, I very often had sex with a lots of man, without having them pay for it. I found this work as a very good option for me, it's fun and I often like it. I really learn a lot during the time I spent with the clients. About their needs, about the life of the clients, their problems and many things like that. I like this job. I am so young and I feel much older inside. Like much older... More mature.
In this job you become smarter/wiser quicker. You're interacting with so many different types of people and we put ourselves in potentially dangerous situations
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As I often say, escort work is like the job of a spy:
exciting, addictive, financially rewarding but also stressful, secretive and dangerous... and we all hope to never end up as Sergei Skripal.
Reason number one for not being an escort?
If you are not a James Bond female version, do not do this job, it is not for you. ;)
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So I have a crazy case of the flu right now, and I've been in bed since Wednesday. I've had to turn down 3 jobs a day :FF Wish we got sick pay! Goddammit!
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Because you don't realise how good you had it until you escort. Even though I am very close to finishing the odd escorting. It has taught me a sweet lesson. That is to escort if you want to be disrespected, because there is alot of it about.
When you get others noticing your changes in the civy life, that is an accomplishment within itself.
No client really respects an escort.
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I agree some men don't respect us but..
I have some guys who totally understand and respect it , not all no but some definitely , they ask "how's business" in the same capacity that they talk about their own and the current financial climate.
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My GF accidentally gave my work number to her parents and her curious dad google searched it and they found my escort profies OMG.
Now they are always checking my twitter which is so embarrassing ..
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I've recently needed to replenish savings and I only work four days a week. If you find yourself coming into this work purely to save for something in your future, you will find yourself wanting to push yourself to work every hour you have free. There is a real chance of burning out and over tiring yourself, even if you are enjoying yourself and your work the time. It can also lead to pressuring yourself to accept another booking when really it's time to put your feet up and relax.
This is absolutely spot on. I'm saying yes to everything to meet my savings targets and I've realised I need to stop. Say no. Be unavailable. Make time for myself.
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Surely if you're paying tax there won't be a gap in your CV ? I've said I'm a massage therapist on my tax returns
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Surely if you're paying tax there won't be a gap in your CV ? I've said I'm a massage therapist on my tax returns
I think it's more in terms of how it looks in your career history. If you did, say, a degree in chemistry then spent 2-3 years whoring before applying to work in a lab, 'massage therapist' might look a little odd on your CV...
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I think it's more in terms of how it looks in your career history. If you did, say, a degree in chemistry then spent 2-3 years whoring before applying to work in a lab, 'massage therapist' might look a little odd on your CV...
I don't think it's too odd to have an unskilled job in there somewhere (although I don't have any qualifications as such, so mine would pretty much all be like that ;D) and lots of people would understand the need to amass some cash through part time work and have a bit of a break from the hard going stuff? Mine would say 'sex worker' :).
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I think it's more in terms of how it looks in your career history. If you did, say, a degree in chemistry then spent 2-3 years whoring before applying to work in a lab, 'massage therapist' might look a little odd on your CV...
I don't think thats true. I did an economics degree, then did a counselling night course. I found a lot of the people on the night course did random degrees then genuinely did massage therapy as a job (not the sexual kind) then wanted to be a counsellor. I think the fact I'm earning so much money, might make it obvious I'm in the sex work business though haha but I won't have a gap as I'm paying tax.
I love 'whoring' and don't really want to do anything else, so much money for so much fun! If I change my mind as I get older I think I'll be find job wise :) got a degree as back up and I could just do the counselling thing as I did plan before.
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As an ex-escort, I feel in a better position to post here having seen both sides. There are still times I feel tempted to be honest I cannot be bothered with all of what escorting involves.
Having to rush around for bookings, hunger pangs, treated like a piece of meat, having to be polite remaining professional in case loss of business, feeling like waiting on tap, sometimes a great turn out others a complete waste of time, exploring not valued or appreciated by clients with the odd few who do treat with respect.
A high % of timewaster upsetting phone calls. Paranoia looking through the peephole of the front door and windows, being on edge when clients are due thinking is he going to play up, even good clients can turn sour, always having to be on your guard, fed up of being judged but know it comes part and parcel with escorting, socialising can be affected with family and friends feeling isolated leading to depression.
All adverse events can lead to feeling not right be it annoying, sad, crying or anger is thinking something like F him to feel better.
For me escorting was a dark world.
I went into escorting blind and feel blessed having the opportunity to put it right this time around. I look forward to the year milestone of having given escorting up. Yes, the money was great, and the sacrifice was huge for the money.
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Because you will soon see most men as dumb so dumb it is a little or a lot frightening.
The morons that ring or wont ring even when you have on your ads no texts or then text and ask what town you are in even though you have told them the site and they said they saw it and read it.
Then they ask how much, what do you do what will we do etc.
Or say they are on their way do not arrive then next and on and on and on the level of stupidity is mind numbing I may never be able to look a man in the face again without seeing STUPID across his forehead
Bless the non messers that come and enjoy as we should BLess them
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Most I can deal with (except the amount of blokes that don't know how to wipe their ass!!) but 1 thing that will always stick with me..... 95% of my clientele are either married, got girlfriends/fiancées or have baby on the way. How could I ever trust a man to be faithful to me? It has certainly destroyed my trust!
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Most I can deal with (except the amount of blokes that don't know how to wipe their ass!!) but 1 thing that will always stick with me..... 95% of my clientele are either married, got girlfriends/fiancées or have baby on the way. How could I ever trust a man to be faithful to me? It has certainly destroyed my trust!
These aren't all men, and they aren't all men who are in relationships.
I used to think all clients were in relationships, only when I started paying attention did I realise some (quite a few) are single. Also quite a lot of men don't pay for sex, and women are unfaithful too.
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The no shows and timewasters are annoying. The social stigma can mean we do not feel comfortable outing ourselves to friends and family. The difficulty in achieving a relationship (as most men won't accept our job, although luckily I do not crave a relationship whatsoever so that is fine by me). The isolation of the job as we spend a great deal of time on our own. The secret nature of it can feel like joining the dark side so to speak.
The variable income and the fact that Brexit is making the job temporarily harder to earn enough income in are also two further disadvantages.
Econimic trends are always up and down however and these phases do pass but are still stressful.
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I also sometimes miss having colleagues to talk to. I know we can communicate on here but sometimes it is good to have people in the actual physical form even though we can arrange to meet fellow escorts from off this site it isn't always enough human interaction. Face to face contact can be good. I still wouldn't change the job though. Too many advantages.
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These aren't all men, and they aren't all men who are in relationships.
I used to think all clients were in relationships, only when I started paying attention did I realise some (quite a few) are single. Also quite a lot of men don't pay for sex, and women are unfaithful too.
I notice now out of escorting how much it turned my stomach becoming a secret feminist. The men who don't book escorts are out of the picture. I used to think that 99% are no good with 1% good, now what were my chances with that?. Now I deal with many sain people on the other side.
Escorting can be a living nightmare.
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It really annoys me escorting has so much stigma people wouldn’t mind if you are a shelf stacker in Asda but if they find out you’re an escort then think you must be a bad person.
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Yes.
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Another reason is if you happen to still live with your mum. Hiding escorting is more difficult than say hiding working in a massage parlour because at least in a parlour the times you're out are consistent. It's harder to cover up coming and going on an odd schedule.
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It's hard work - physically and mentally
Putting up with men who are selfish, spoilt, critical, self-entitled and needy is emotionally draining
Putting up with men who always expect you to be perfect but don't care much about their own hygiene or physical appearance is annoying.
Having constant back ache and neck ache and always feeling exhausted isn't much fun either.
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Charges and going to jail.Trading services for money is illegal. Illegal business can't report crime to the police.Dangerous out here. Doesn't matter high end or low end working for $$$$$$$$$$$$..One client or many clients.Sad ladies trash each other in this business doing same thing.
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This choice of work is not for everybody. If you can a place for it in your head to file away and not think about it when you are not working you have cracked it. That is unless you genuinely enjoy the experience. I was like that until I had one unpleasant experience and I can remember it to this day.
I took an appointment from a very nice man for an hour's incall. He sounded lovely. I watched him drive down the street and park up, but as he was getting out of his car my 'phone went and I moved away from the window to reach my diary. By the time I finished the call he had fed the meter and was walking to my flat. By now he was out of sight.
He called for the number and after ages I let him in.
If I saw a disabled client I always asked them to let me know so I could explain about the stairs and the lift. I always allowed extra time for undressing and showering etc. I felt it was a decent thing to do but I needed to know so I could leave time in case I saw someone else afterwards.
He knocked on my door and when I opened it he fell in as his legs were twisted and gave me the biggest bunch of Roses I had ever seen. This was a deliberate attempt to put me off guard.
He managed to get onto my sofa. I asked him what his disability was and he said he had arthritis. He later admitted he had cerebral palsy. He stank. His body stank of stale sweat and his breath made me gip. His clothes were dirty and his underwear was rank. This was the only client I did not kiss properly. He sat on my sofa and talked. He had sweat patches under his arms and the smell filled the flat.
I offered him a shower. He said he wouldn't be able to do so because of his disability
I wiped his cock clean with baby wipes as it was cheesy. To my credit and my folly I gave him a full service. When the time was up he asked for a cup of tea. Then he asked for a shower !
He got in the shower and only used water. Then he dried himself on my towels making them stink.
Three hours later I turfed him out. I showered and scrubbed my body and then I cleaned the flat which reeked of his B.O. and I boiled the towels.
I was so upset I locked the flat and did not return for two weeks. I let myself down and felt ashamed that I had allowed him to do this. I swear he got off on my distaste.
I had the distinct feeling he did this to every lady he saw but only the once.
I did not want to return to work. I felt violated. I logged his number and two weeks later I returned to work.
I can understand why some ladies feel this line of work is not for them. After a break I was OK but I never forgot that one. He almost pushed me into leaving. However I armed myself mentally and reworded my web pages so it was clear that a disabled guy was welcome provided he informed me about his circumstances and the severity of his disability.
I also posted a warning about this man locally and then I carried on working.
It is experiences such as this that chip away at your self esteem and make you think of the end game IMHO
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I am no longer working but I remember that I used to think I was not living in the real world and it was like being in a parallel universe, so I cleaned my house, did the washing and ironing, walked the dogs, took the children to school and cooked proper meals. For a time I had another job which had a uniform so I could sometimes say I was working extra shifts.
The worst part for me was losing real life friends as I did not have the time any more. If I could turn the clock back I would have worked less hours.
When I was at home I dressed down so nobody suspected anything, but the sheer amount of time away from home was the thing I most regret. No amount of money is worth this
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I'm new to being a member on SAAFE but not new to escorting.
I think I was 21, living in London, when I first started escorting on AW (ah so young) and now I've started up again (age 27, living back up north).
I've started up again because this year I got out of a shitty 4 yr long relationship with a total narcissist where I was quite financially dependent and now he's gone I've found.. I love my new life, my part time job that I don't want to leave. I have goals that I now have to rework out on my own and sexwork is my golden ticket!
But yeah, I cammed and escorted while I was in a relationship (desperate for money times does not a healthy relationship make). I do believe you can be a sexworker and be in a good relationship, I just think I got unucky.
It can be totally isolating - I'm so lucky that my best friend did it at the same time I did and we could talk about it and still talk about it but..
The stigma is very real. Even if you only tell people who are 'cool' with what you do. If you live in a small community, even if it's in a big city - people love gossip. I can think of two times where I've been 'exposed' - at the time it's the most infuriating, betraying thing. Forget it. Don't worry. People forget, or generally don't care. May you be the bigger person; they don't get it at all.
And oh god the money. Don't ever think you're doing well. Even if you make crazy money in an hour, that could be one hour a week.
Sorry, this has turned into an essay..I've had wine. If you do escort, please be safe, I'll be a buddy anytime, message me..
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For me, as a single woman, really makes you see a pretty unflattering side of men, even the nice ones.
Like for example, why do literally ALL the nice, clean, good at sex, easygoing and generous ones wearing a wedding ring (as they offer me my favourite drink and some chocolates because they are so gosh darned NICE and the very best clients?
And the mouthdroolers, pokes me with sharp fingers, smelly, hagglers are, of course, single.
I don't hold out much hope for future relationships tbh, but I have a new found appreciation of my asexual relationships and platonic friends I can tell you!!!
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Like for example, why do literally ALL the nice, clean, good at sex, easygoing and generous ones wearing a wedding ring (as they offer me my favourite drink and some chocolates because they are so gosh darned NICE and the very best clients?
And the mouthdroolers, pokes me with sharp fingers, smelly, hagglers are, of course, single.
When they are single, socially awkward and lonely (either lack hobbies, stable job or friends), the chances of them stalking you becomes much greater. Without fail, clients who have harassed me in the past fit into this profile.
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When they are single, socially awkward and lonely (either lack hobbies, stable job or friends), the chances of them stalking you becomes much greater. Without fail, clients who have harassed me in the past fit into this profile.
Thanks.....something more to look forward to.... ::)
;)
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When they are single, socially awkward and lonely (either lack hobbies, stable job or friends), the chances of them stalking you becomes much greater. Without fail, clients who have harassed me in the past fit into this profile.
Unfortunately a couple of punters who harassed me are married, likely to have stable income in the form of occupational pensions, appear to have social life and friends. That's the shocker.
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Unfortunately a couple of punters who harassed me are married, likely to have stable income in the form of occupational pensions, appear to have social life and friends. That's the shocker.
he would have fit into the profile of a perfect client. Very Jekyll and Hyde, no way to tell at all
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I can't date. I don't have the energy it takes to lie to a significant other, so I just don't.
I wonder if ppl know who I am when I'm at Walmart ~ I have a super distinctive haircut, think a red Annie Lenox with bangs basically ~ & get paranoid.
I also don't have the energy it takes to make new friends, see above.
My family thinks I work in catering. I thought long & hard about what I could tell them; I needed something that was fluid, & that didn't have a "solid" email address that everyone would clamor for.
Now whenever I see them I have to study up on the catering world & IT SUCKS. Currently they think I'm learning bartending bc my dumb ass can't keep my mouth shut & boy, I just can't WAIT for the next holiday!🤦🏼♀️ "Hey Celeste! Make me a Harvey Wallbanger!"
Me: uhhhhhh.....
However, it's Wednesday morning & I've made nearly $3,000 since Sunday. Yeah, I think I'll be dealing with the above for awhile longer....
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I can't date. I don't have the energy it takes to lie to a significant other, so I just don't.
I wonder if ppl know who I am when I'm at Walmart ~ I have a super distinctive haircut, think a red Annie Lenox with bangs basically ~ & get paranoid.
I also don't have the energy it takes to make new friends, see above.
My family thinks I work in catering. I thought long & hard about what I could tell them; I needed something that was fluid, & that didn't have a "solid" email address that everyone would clamor for.
Now whenever I see them I have to study up on the catering world & IT SUCKS. Currently they think I'm learning bartending bc my dumb ass can't keep my mouth shut & boy, I just can't WAIT for the next holiday!🤦🏼♀️ "Hey Celeste! Make me a Harvey Wallbanger!"
Me: uhhhhhh.....
However, it's Wednesday morning & I've made nearly $3,000 since Sunday. Yeah, I think I'll be dealing with the above for awhile longer....
I recognise some clients on dating websites. It's hilarious what they write on their dating profiles...
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I wonder if ppl know who I am when I'm at Walmart ~ I have a super distinctive haircut, think a red Annie Lenox with bangs basically ~ & get paranoid.
OMG, I have that paranoia all the time now. For example, there have been a couple of times when I have been walking around, perfectly vanilla in my frumpy clothes and men have been literally leering at me, not the mouthdrooler type either, but men who would normally ignore me. It happened again, just Tuesday at the gym reception, very disconcerting as I was with the sprogs. I am not particularly distinctive either and the assets were well covered by a coat, no make up and this man was super eyeballing me.
I had one passing me in a station who fit the same profile as the first, again these are men that normally wouldn't notice me.
It's very disconcerting.
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Catching every cold, flu and sickness bug going around... :FF
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People don’t respect you the same (even if they say it doesn’t matter you doubt them)
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People don’t respect you the same (even if they say it doesn’t matter you doubt them)
That's 1 reason I don't date; a huge reason actually. Started seeing a guy (not a client), was upfront, told him the 1 thing he must never, EVER do is throw my job in my face. Made him put his damn hand on the Bible, that's how serious I was.
2 months later (smh, Celeste, you're sooooo naive), "Oh yeah? Well you fuck men for $$!" or whatever he said.
And that's the main reason I'm afraid to make new friends too☹️. Bc the minute there's any type of disagreement, that's going to get hauled out (if I tell them that is).
"You fuck men for a living & get paid for it, what you're doing is illegal."
In a way, I get it. It's SO EASY. It's the easiest thing in the world 🌎to use to hurt me in an argument/fight. It also the dirtiest, low down thing one could do, & I walked away from that guy.
He's spent the last 4 years trying to get me back.
Nope.
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I went through a phase of very openly telling friends about what I do because I was struggling so much with the double life and feelings of isolation and lack of connection that I was experiencing. I guess I was craving acceptance.
Nobody acted horrified, though I'm aware that things were said behind my back but the result that did come as more of a surprise was how many people expected me to set them up in business and although I did happily help a couple of friends, I rapidly realised that they expected me to do everything for them, as though they were entitled to a slice of all of the "money" they were convinced that I was making.
I had a string of people who seemed to latch on to me and time after time it became apparent that their motivation was to see what they could get from me.
Both from males and females, I made myself a bit of a target by sharing what I do openly. I found that people could get very jealous as they perceive that WG's are earning tonnes of money without having to "work" for it.
I've since relocated and have decided to keep it to myself in this new area. I'm past the stage of feeling that anyone has a right to know my business. A lesson learnt.
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I went through a phase of very openly telling friends about what I do because I was struggling so much with the double life and feelings of isolation and lack of connection that I was experiencing. I guess I was craving acceptance.
Nobody acted horrified, though I'm aware that things were said behind my back but the result that did come as more of a surprise was how many people expected me to set them up in business and although I did happily help a couple of friends, I rapidly realised that they expected me to do everything for them, as though they were entitled to a slice of all of the "money" they were convinced that I was making.
I had a string of people who seemed to latch on to me and time after time it became apparent that their motivation was to see what they could get from me.
Both from males and females, I made myself a bit of a target by sharing what I do openly. I found that people could get very jealous as they perceive that WG's are earning tonnes of money without having to "work" for it.
I've since relocated and have decided to keep it to myself in this new area. I'm past the stage of feeling that anyone has a right to know my business. A lesson learnt.
I've also made this mistake in the past. I was too open about my life, and people used it against me. They also expected me to pay for alot of stuff, which frustrated me. I had one friend who was behind on her payments for our holiday, and she kept asking me to cover it because I have 'tonnes of money.' I don't think I've ever had tonnes of money... ::)
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You realise that fundamentally, men are fucking idiots. The more intelligent they are, the more likely they get lost on a two minute walk. They also think what you do is a hobby and that you're horny for cock 24/7. Seriously. Jesus wept
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Yes men rarely see that we are running this as a legitimate business. They think it is something we merely dabble in and we want sex 24/7.
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Some reasons I've quickly realised for myself:
Having to realise how many halfwits there are in the world by dealing with timewasters and failed trolls who think they achieve anything by calling you with suppressed numbers when you explicitly say you ignore those.
Also weirdos who send you dickpics after you told them you're not the type for it. They could've been future customers, but they had to ruin it by having their brain replaced with a horniness on/off switch. Wouldn't be half as bad if they were decent pics instead of making their dicks look as gross and unapetitising as they possibly can. :FF
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Yep I've been trying to exit for the past 3 years and it's hard especially when you don't have a network of sound people you can relate to, it's so isolating I'm glad I am on this forum now, I know for the next 6 weeks in lockdown I will be on it quite a lot ! Onwards and upwards though x
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I feel you hun.
When I first started out about ten years ago, one of the first things they told me that I remember as key to my sanity was "don't ever do what you don't feel comfortable doing" no matter the money unless it neutralises the discomfort. I've tried to keep up with this statement throughout the years, sometimes not as successfully so I can feel what you mean. Anyway the best way is to keep those days far between and hopefully never again. You feeling good about yourself is more important ... x
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I've also made this mistake in the past. I was too open about my life, and people used it against me. They also expected me to pay for alot of stuff, which frustrated me. I had one friend who was behind on her payments for our holiday, and she kept asking me to cover it because I have 'tonnes of money.' I don't think I've ever had tonnes of money... ::)
I’ve gotten this as well & I believe I’ve written about it. A 10 year friendship ended over this job ~ thats the extremely abridged version, but I was making $$, she didn’t have any, seemed to think she should have some of mine😳 & when I refused, proceeded to out me on FaceBook. Thanks Karen.
Emotional blackmail, man.
I also look at every single guy & think, I bet you see SWs. Anyone who talks about how great their BF is? I’m thinking yeah, he probably ain’t as great as you think he is. I’ve learned it’s impossible to keep track of where your guy is all the time. They will find a way to see us, & they will find a way to get around any set up the GF/wife may’ve set up.
Unfortunately bc of this job I’ll never trust a man. Ever. I’ll just tell him to go ahead & lie to me🤷🏼♀️. I know you’re going to anyway, so just do it. What I WON’T tell them? Is how amazingly good this job has made me at reading body language & cues. I’ll find OUT your lies my friend. Then I’ll pounce😈.
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Not to mention the exposure to drugs and alcohol, that are all fine taken recreationally in your own time, although dangerous if you have an addictive personality, but not the ideal potential working hazzard that comes up.
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Not to mention the exposure to drugs and alcohol, that are all fine taken recreationally in your own time, although dangerous if you have an addictive personality, but not the ideal potential working hazzard that comes up.
I don't see the link - I've been a sex worker for a fairly long time and I don't take drugs or drink alcohol, nor am I exposed to either while I'm working (or at least only very rarely)? I suspect it's more to do with the company you keep.
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I don't see the link - I've been a sex worker for a fairly long time and I don't take drugs or drink alcohol, nor am I exposed to either while I'm working (or at least only very rarely)? I suspect it's more to do with the company you keep.
I got clean, good incentive.
Doesn't mean I have not encountered it, just make it clear I don't drink alcohol or use other drugs.
Non-sex-work workplaces encouraged boozy socials, which were problematic.
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I don't see the link - I've been a sex worker for a fairly long time and I don't take drugs or drink alcohol, nor am I exposed to either while I'm working (or at least only very rarely)? I suspect it's more to do with the company you keep.
It certainly depends on the company you keep, the safety in numbers can help as far as that goes but you can end up perusing with those who use drugs to cope with demand or just use it recreationally just because.
Having others around when you are working can almost become addictive as I know work can be lonely for a lot and being able to talk to others really helps with motivation and to keep you going but you can get dragged into things if you are not strong of mind. I like to network on occasion but I think now I just to just stick to me myself and I when it comes to work. less drama, more focus, more money.
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I have been a sex worker for years. I've no doubt that some 'under the influence' clients have slipped through but the one and only time I had to throw someone out was the one and only time I caught someone pumped full of drugs. He was paranoid to death and had white powder marks on his jumper where he had dropped it ::)
its definitely a case of the company you keep and how you market yourself. I know some girls that have worked for agencies and parlours who love the coke head bookings personally I could not think of anything worse x
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Totally with you on this one.
And on the career bit, it's good to have options ;)
Isoltation
That's the only thing that gets to me and I wish we could organise some group or something to deal with this. So many WGs seem to have this problem and I only know a few working girls but they, like me, have basically no friends here (in the city they work).
I've always been a social butterfly and need to have a group of friends around me cause I enjoy close connections with people, but here in London I haven't done that because of they job. Why? I hate lying to friends. I had some friends and told them the truth and they stopped talking to me. Also I work weird hours so I find it hard to say "lets meet at 10" then get a call for 10 for three hours and have to give up all that money for a coffee with a mate. I find I've become closed when I meet people, always worrying they'll find out and so I get very quiet and hate talking about myself....
So, what to do? I'm positive and have plans to change this reality and get out there and make some great friends. I've no doubt I'll be successful but yes, in any other job it's not an effort to make friends but when you're a prossie you really have to work hard, force yourself to get out there and make strong, meaningful connections.
I also agree with the impact on romantic relationships. My relationship was wonderful but couldn't continue because of my job (he was fine with it but as he fell in love with me he could no longer accept my job). I'm happy to be single while I work, but one day I'm going to want to have a partner again...
Career
I have a degree and my passions lie in another field and I want to build my career in that. But again, it's hard to walk away from this money and this "zero effort" job. What of the future? Where do you want to be in five years time? I think if you do not have a "goal" for the money you're earning and for your future, then you can easily become a prostitute and nothing else i.e that is your entire identity and you've nothing else, no ambitions, no plans for the future but instead living day by day, client by client...
xx
p.s i love my job, but if we're looking for negative stuff, there it is.
[/quote]
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I don't see the link - I've been a sex worker for a fairly long time and I don't take drugs or drink alcohol, nor am I exposed to either while I'm working (or at least only very rarely)? I suspect it's more to do with the company you keep.
I won't deny anyone else's experience and neither should mine.
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I think it's important to make informed decisions. With these we can navigate our lives better and make choices that will benefit us whether we choose to do this work or not.
According to this information source that I've only discovered recently, that comes from a reliable trusty source, Global Network of Sex Work projects on the topic of sex workers and travel restrictions. The pdf doesn't translate to a link that I can send, but you can find their info here https://www.nswp.org/ and you might be able to find the article if you search Sex Workers and Travel Restrictions.
There is a paragraph describing an experience from a Canadian who had crossed the U.S border many times, on one occasion when she was with friends driving to a baby shower, says that as soon as she got to the border, the guard asked for the phone and the others she was with .. she was sent to a second inspection, the guard kept asking her about her straight job, and other sources of income, then took her to another room and asked her about her sex work website, she isn't even sure how they found out about her work identity she got flagged before she got to the border and was interviewed for 4 hours! She signed a transcript of the interview and was banned from the USA for 5 years and and got escorted back to Canada .... :-X
And there are more reasons to put anyone off. If anyone says this is an easy job .... think again .. you need to be mega informed and smart in your decision making ! All that agro ....
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I won't deny anyone else's experience and neither should mine.
Er, did you mean to quote my post? Your reply doesn't make sense and has nothing to do with what I said.
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There is a paragraph describing an experience from a Canadian who had crossed the U.S border many times, on one occasion when she was with friends driving to a baby shower, says that as soon as she got to the border, the guard asked for the phone and the others she was with .. she was sent to a second inspection, the guard kept asking her about her straight job, and other sources of income, then took her to another room and asked her about her sex work website, she isn't even sure how they found out about her work identity she got flagged before she got to the border and was interviewed for 4 hours! She signed a transcript of the interview and was banned from the USA for 5 years and and got escorted back to Canada .... :-X
That's the standard punishment for living/working illegally in the US. She probably crossed the border for work reasons and it is quite possible someone named her, they wouldn't ban her just for having done illegal activities in the past. I have entered the States with someone who has a criminal past and was interviewed at the border but was still let in.
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Er, did you mean to quote my post? Your reply doesn't make sense and has nothing to do with what I said.
Okay never mind, let's start again :)
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If anyone says this is an easy job .....
If someone says that... it's because they don't know what they are talking about.
The escort profession is a combination of:
- sexual performer,
- small business manager,
- actor,
- communicator,
- and psychologist.
It is certainly not an easy job.
Reasons not to be an escort? If you are only interested in the money but not the other aspects of the job, this job is not for you.
And if you want to do it in spite of that, you won't be happy... and probably won't be very successful either.
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The idea that escorting is fast money is one that comes to mind. There’s often the misconception that escorting is fast money and not easy money. Neither is actually true in some cases. There will be days where you wait around the whole entire day and no one comes or calls. It can have a big impact on your mental health and self image as you start to think there must be something wrong with you that you aren’t getting any bookings.
I’m quite young and attractive and I am quite self confident. But this job does test me at times and it can affect your self esteem when you don’t get any bookings for a few days.
It’s just the way it is sometimes. Sometimes the weather is crap. Sometimes there’s a holiday or a match on. So business is slow. So I definitely wouldn’t call it fast money all the time. There will be days when you wait around and absolutely nothing. Then other days you are up to your eyeballs in bookings.
It fluctuates a lot and it’s important to remember to budget so you can account for the days that aren’t “fast money.”
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I went through a phase of very openly telling friends about what I do because I was struggling so much with the double life and feelings of isolation and lack of connection that I was experiencing. I guess I was craving acceptance.
Nobody acted horrified, though I'm aware that things were said behind my back but the result that did come as more of a surprise was how many people expected me to set them up in business and although I did happily help a couple of friends, I rapidly realised that they expected me to do everything for them, as though they were entitled to a slice of all of the "money" they were convinced that I was making.
I had a string of people who seemed to latch on to me and time after time it became apparent that their motivation was to see what they could get from me.
Both from males and females, I made myself a bit of a target by sharing what I do openly. I found that people could get very jealous as they perceive that WG's are earning tonnes of money without having to "work" for it.
I've since relocated and have decided to keep it to myself in this new area. I'm past the stage of feeling that anyone has a right to know my business. A lesson learnt.
Oh yes, the hanger ons (usually guys wanting sex and/or s free ride financially cos they think you earn loads or occasionally some mad emotional need) being gossiped about, I am another who everyone knows what I do, I show my face loud and clear (selling point), not in a big city, I've been followed by group of guys in a car, recognised at traffic lights by another group of youngish guys, and even at garage had a group of guys tryna take a photo of me, smirking making jokes with eachother which really pissed me off to be honest. Since the profile had thousands of views in a short space of time at can only assume a lot are looking, there is not many escorts in this town. I could not care less to be honest but what you say is right..also a good friend is one who will not see or treat you different after finding out your an escort, very hard to come by i must say.
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Please delete.
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I was groomed from the age of 12 by a friends dad and some of his older mates (all dead now). Initially, I enjoyed the money and attention. When I was 15 the friends dad took me to France in the school holidays and I worked in a brothel (obviously I lied about my age and they didn't care). it continued until I went to university at 18. I stepped away from 'sex for money'. But I didn't know how to live 'normally' so I started escorting again, to pay for university.
I've been to therapy and got all the help I could from various sex worker groups and even the police. But ultimately, it's all I know. I'm 32 now. Still working but I have never had a proper relationship other than users, abusers and pimps.
I don't think sex work has ruined my life at all, that's not what I'm getting at. I'm just saying that I was groomed, then it became a means to an end and now it's all I know. I have tried regular 9-5 jobs but I am used to having decent money and my own timescale.
If anyone is thinking about becoming a sex worker. I can only suggest that you think it through, talk to trusted friends and speak to groups like this and Red Umbrella (I personally found them very helpful with my mental health).
It can be fun, profitable and liberating. But, like everything. It can be a nightmare.
Good luck to anyone starting up. x
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Jessica Hannah - you sound a very strong woman I take my hat of yo you queen x
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I always thought this was the easy route to making money and it's been difficult with my emotions and relationships. It's also caused me alot of difficulties with how I view intimacy. I'm trying so hard to get out now and it's just not happening because there's always another reason why I need money, I have a regular job but it just doesn't cut it at the moment. Anyone else finding it really hard near impossible to get out of the industry? Xx
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I always thought this was the easy route to making money and it's been difficult with my emotions and relationships. It's also caused me alot of difficulties with how I view intimacy. I'm trying so hard to get out now and it's just not happening because there's always another reason why I need money, I have a regular job but it just doesn't cut it at the moment. Anyone else finding it really hard near impossible to get out of the industry? Xx
This was me back in 2015, I one day decided that I was done with this & needed a 'regular job' & went into Sales (decent money) 12 months later I was working a full time job & doing SW as well - It sometimes does feel like an addiction, maybe FOMO that keeps us coming back or not quite willing to let it go altogether
(I will add as a side note, I am coming back to SW full time after 7 years in a civvy job - after being passed over twice for promotions over the past 5 years & the members of the general public being absolute horrors to work with since the pandemic, I need a break & some freedom)
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Before I started sex work, I used to be curious, dynamic, have various career ambitions, had projects and career related things I wanted to achieve in my life but since I started escorting I became more realistic and understood that there aren't actually many careers like this one, where you can get such good time/money ratio (I've always been quite money driven in my life general and also value my free time a lot) so I gave up on all my previous careers ambitions and projects to focus on escorting only.
Nowadays, I have no more ambitions, no more projects, no more curiosity, no professional skills other than escorting and in my case, I see this as a negative because I really don't want to do this all my life but have no more ambitions to do anything else.
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I am only part time.
After the divorce I was on dating sites and had sex with occasional men and that was my choice for fun. Escorting thus developed, I put an advert on for curiosity, and it was likfe the dating sites – one man seemed nicer and so my first booking.
I think when the mortgage is paid I will stop, at the moment my employment is very busy.