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Author Topic: Reasons not to be an escort  (Read 77066 times)

SuperSass

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #15 on: 26 June 2012, 02:06:56 am »
It's not Exciting and it's not Glamorous:

I blame Belle De Jour, but when I started I was very much so expecting to have wealthy business men style clients fawning all over me, and lots of champagne.

Instead.

It's men in their 50's mostly, a lot of them talk about their allotments, and depending on your age a lot of them may remind you of your Dad. Though obviously try and block that out or you'll end up needing a lot of therapy.

I would say that if you're looking for excitement, don't expect to find it escorting as most guys are visiting you so you can provide them with excitement.

I am yet to meet a footballer, I'm yet to meet a billionaire... but I am yet to meet anyone who has harmed or scared me in any way so I'll stop grumbling about the nearly retired set.

Oooh also, if you're used to sleeping with young guys in their twenties, enjoy it while you can. A lot of older men have erection issues/can't get it up once they catch sight of a condom - and it is friggin hard work to entertain.

And the paranoia/social stigma/fear of being outed/getting used to such good money and having unrealistic expectations about future earning potential/getting used to being objectified and not taking it personally/ getting used to people trying to 'save you'/ getting used to sometimes feeling a little bit used.

That's all I have now.

Oh

and it makes you very weary and wary of men.

This from the girl who's been at it 4 months and rarely sees more than 3 clients a week.

 :o

Sahrbear

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #16 on: 06 July 2012, 12:15:56 pm »
Isoltation

That's the only thing that gets to me and I wish we could organise some group or something to deal with this. So many WGs seem to have this problem and I only know a few working girls but they, like me, have basically no friends here (in the city they work).

I've always been a social butterfly and need to have a group of friends around me cause I enjoy close connections with people, but here in London I haven't done that because of they job. Why? I hate lying to friends. I had some friends and told them the truth and they stopped talking to me. Also I work weird hours so I find it hard to say "lets meet at 10" then get a call for 10 for three hours and have to give up all that money for a coffee with a mate. I find I've become closed when I meet people, always worrying they'll find out and so I get very quiet and hate talking about myself....

So, what to do? I'm positive and have plans to change this reality and get out there and make some great friends. I've no doubt I'll be successful but yes, in any other job it's not an effort to make friends but when you're a prossie you really have to work hard, force yourself to get out there and make strong, meaningful connections.

I also agree with the impact on romantic relationships. My relationship was wonderful but couldn't continue because of my job (he was fine with it but as he fell in love with me he could no longer accept my job). I'm happy to be single while I work, but one day I'm going to want to have a partner again...

Career

I have a degree and my passions lie in another field and I want to build my career in that. But again, it's hard to walk away from this money and this "zero effort" job. What of the future? Where do you want to be in five years time? I think if you do not have a "goal" for the money you're earning and for your future, then you can easily become a prostitute and nothing else i.e that is your entire identity and you've nothing else, no ambitions, no plans for the future but instead living day by day, client by client...

xx
p.s i love my job, but if we're looking for negative stuff, there it is.

Nora batty

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #17 on: 06 July 2012, 01:20:56 pm »
i can totally relate to alot of this thread but i would also like to add that be careful of making too close friendships with other working girls.  whilst you think you can talk about the stress of work etc, if you let someone know too much about your personal life they can burn you the most.  we are all competition and whilst the majority of us know that clients come and go and come back again, some ladies cant accept that and will try and damage you professionally and personally.

Stalkers - come with the job too and i truly hope not many of you have to deal with them.

Touring - whilst is great mostly.  time away from family and home can be miserable.

The Double life lies - you lie that much you can forget to know the true you.

lizzie

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #18 on: 25 August 2012, 08:23:13 pm »
The emotional toll of being treated like an object for years. The damage it can do to you mentally, and has done to me. The way it can make you unable to have normal intimacy. The way it can make you hate punters and hate sex, but still carry on doing it for the money. The fact that it is SO hard to get out of. The fact that it can lead you to emotional breakdown, and you may have no one to talk to about it. The fact that it often means lying to your closest friends and family. And lying to yourself. Pretending that you are okay when you are not....I went for years doing this....telling myself how much I love this job, until one day I ended up in the hospital from a suicidal attempt, and for the first time ever I questioned myself that maybe I don't love this job as much as I'd been telling myself I did. Verbal abuse from punters. Sometimes sexual and physical abuse also. The list goes on...

Little_Miss_Misanthropy

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #19 on: 04 September 2012, 02:15:51 am »
Stalkers

For me this is the hardest thing to deal with. When someone becomes obsessed with you, and it's unwanted, it can leave you feeling very scared, vulnerable and alone (especially if you don't have anyone in real life to confide in). Having someone constantly message you, email you or text you everytime you change or update your website/profile is extremly disconcerting. My worst 'obsessive' did this for months after I asked him to stop. Curiosity got the better of me and I turned on my old work phone today to find that, yes, he's still texting me, even though I no longer work under the same name. He's 'worried sick' about me and wants me to text him to let him know I'm ok - stalkers tend to emotionally blackmail you, and it leaves you with a feeling that can only be described as ick.

I have had customers who have tracked me down even once I've changed profile, just from pictures. Or figured out who I am from posting on forums. And though most feel they have your 'best intentions' at heart, the fact that they're tracking your internet activity...well, it's a bit off putting to say the least.

Privacy is so important to me, if my family ever found out what I was doing I'd be taken outside and shot (maybe  ;D). Everytime a customer gets obsessive and stalkery, I panic and quit temporarily. It's violating having someone try to intrude on your private life - scary and violating. I know others can probably shrug this off, but for me having stalkers is petrifying.

I have a new found sympathy for celebrities  ::)

sarahyorks

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #20 on: 20 September 2012, 05:37:19 pm »
The hardest moment I have ever had escorting was when my ex boyfriend (at the time we both were openly still in love with each other and even though we broke up it felt like I was cheating on him every time I worked) told me he found out. Apparently someone forwarded him my AW profile, he will never tell me who. We were having an argument on the phone (we lived in separate cities) over something trivial and he said something along the lines of 'oh and you are always right aren't you Angel (then working name)'. I dropped the phone and broke down crying, then numb with shock just said 'how do you know'.

Later on he told me the main reason he was so angry was that he was scared I would end up badly hurt or killed.

Even now years later, and happily with someone who knows and accepts what I do, its making me tear up writing this. Gosh I'm a sappy idiot some times.


jessiejess501

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #21 on: 31 October 2012, 06:57:26 am »
Hi All,

I just joined this site and got into the business about a month ago.  This is so helpful, thank you all!

Luckily, especially with financial issues, its been a busy month.  So, I think I've had a taste of most issues.

The sitting and waiting after you get ready (esp. when you don't feel like) are annoying!  I gave it back to one of them today who asked if I would wear particular attire.  Went out and got it.  Ugh! 

Also, the need to always be ready/listen for the phone. 

And, the psychological challenges...

While all of the men I've seen have been nice and respectful, there have been a few that I felt like gagging when I opened the door.  One was like late 70's.  Regardless of closing my eyes to not see gramps or whoever, for me, thoughts race in my mind about what I'm doing, esp when I'm trying to sleep.  The only way I've dealt with this is to choose to not focus on it.  I have to reject some of these thoughts if I'm choosing to do this.  And, the money is darn good!

Someone posted about doing things to take of yourself, and I couldn't agree more.  Baths, shopping for things that make you feel good, getting a massage, having a great meal etc.

Thanks again to everyone for sharing this impt info.  Am so glad I found this site!

Daisy Penny

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #22 on: 16 November 2012, 02:44:57 pm »
There are so many reasons not to be an escort.

One reason is that you have to have sex with men you find unattractive, it's part of the job. As long as they are clean right?
Well sometimes you will find them physically repulsive, even if they are showered.

Think of a disgusting toad in male human form.

Bumps and boils all over his skin. Short and fat with bulging eyes. Scaly feet and hands and a lumpy tongue.

Now think of an hour and a half's booking with this human toad and I mean really think about it.

Being kissed with that tongue, being touched with rough cracked hands, having to massage his spotty skin.
I will spare you the details about oral or 'toad in the hole!'

In all seriousness you have to be mentally strong to be able to do this.


Orchid

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #23 on: 04 January 2013, 03:56:11 pm »
Daisy sometimes i see guys out there on the street i hope will never call me !!!

Daisy Penny

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #24 on: 04 January 2013, 04:58:32 pm »
Daisy sometimes i see guys out there on the street i hope will never call me !!!

Glad its not just me who says a little silent prayer when I see a particularly beastly man!

bbwflame

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #25 on: 17 January 2013, 11:52:13 am »
Its all about faking it. Oh you have such lovely___________ oh your turning me on! Etc. Should be given an Oscar for my skills.

x-Veronica-x

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #26 on: 26 February 2013, 10:43:39 pm »
It's not Exciting and it's not Glamorous:

I blame Belle De Jour, but when I started I was very much so expecting to have wealthy business men style clients fawning all over me, and lots of champagne.

Instead.

It's men in their 50's mostly, a lot of them talk about their allotments, and depending on your age a lot of them may remind you of your Dad. Though obviously try and block that out or you'll end up needing a lot of therapy.

I would say that if you're looking for excitement, don't expect to find it escorting as most guys are visiting you so you can provide them with excitement.

I am yet to meet a footballer, I'm yet to meet a billionaire... but I am yet to meet anyone who has harmed or scared me in any way so I'll stop grumbling about the nearly retired set.

Oooh also, if you're used to sleeping with young guys in their twenties, enjoy it while you can. A lot of older men have erection issues/can't get it up once they catch sight of a condom - and it is friggin hard work to entertain.

And the paranoia/social stigma/fear of being outed/getting used to such good money and having unrealistic expectations about future earning potential/getting used to being objectified and not taking it personally/ getting used to people trying to 'save you'/ getting used to sometimes feeling a little bit used.

That's all I have now.

Oh

and it makes you very weary and wary of men.

This from the girl who's been at it 4 months and rarely sees more than 3 clients a week.

 :o

I knew what escorting involved before I started around 5 months ago but I agree belle de jour did dress it up a little...I don't expect footballers billionaires. But when a client comes in and you physically don't like them and they are no conversation you think I am really going to have sex with this guy? I offer school girl outfit and don't I hate it! I know its a fantasy a popular one but I find myself sighing when the email comes in school girl never seem to be out of that damn outfit! I'm sure sweetie things may pick up. Maybe get some photos done add more about yourself on your profile x
You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style--Vladimir Nabokov

foxydeelight

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  • what doesnt kill you makes you stronger :) x
Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #27 on: 27 February 2013, 09:58:14 am »
It's not Exciting and it's not Glamorous:

I blame Belle De Jour, but when I started I was very much so expecting to have wealthy business men style clients fawning all over me, and lots of champagne.

Instead.

It's men in their 50's mostly, a lot of them talk about their allotments, and depending on your age a lot of them may remind you of your Dad. Though obviously try and block that out or you'll end up needing a lot of therapy.

I would say that if you're looking for excitement, don't expect to find it escorting as most guys are visiting you so you can provide them with excitement.

I am yet to meet a footballer, I'm yet to meet a billionaire... but I am yet to meet anyone who has harmed or scared me in any way so I'll stop grumbling about the nearly retired set.

Oooh also, if you're used to sleeping with young guys in their twenties, enjoy it while you can. A lot of older men have erection issues/can't get it up once they catch sight of a condom - and it is friggin hard work to entertain.

And the paranoia/social stigma/fear of being outed/getting used to such good money and having unrealistic expectations about future earning potential/getting used to being objectified and not taking it personally/ getting used to people trying to 'save you'/ getting used to sometimes feeling a little bit used.

That's all I have now.

Oh

and it makes you very weary and wary of men.

This from the girl who's been at it 4 months and rarely sees more than 3 clients a week.

 :o

I knew what escorting involved before I started around 5 months ago but I agree belle de jour did dress it up a little...I don't expect footballers billionaires. But when a client comes in and you physically don't like them and they are no conversation you think I am really going to have sex with this guy? I offer school girl outfit and don't I hate it! I know its a fantasy a popular one but I find myself sighing when the email comes in school girl never seem to be out of that damn outfit! I'm sure sweetie things may pick up. Maybe get some photos done add more about yourself on your profile x

I havent had a personal relationship for 8 years due to a 10 year mentally abusive one. Its something I have never got over and Im loathe to go there again.. Escorting, for all its pluses and minuses, is something that I can always control one way or another.. Yes there are toads and mingers about and how can we keep a straight face  when a 2 inch tiddler is thrust upon us?? Im mature and have no illusions what the male of the species are like and after a life experience, im pretty hard faced and devoid of any feelings to accept a clean unsmelly body, just keep me eyes
 closed and focus on the easy money;) 
About me ...  Perfect?? Hell no !!..Mistakes !! Hell Yes!!! Blunders and foibles??? Absolutely! A work in Progress??? Always :D

Follow me on Twitter
https://twitter.com/foxdee69

LaylaBrunei

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #28 on: 03 March 2013, 12:15:35 pm »
I think that prostitution should be recognised as an addiction because it is incredibly addictive and hard to break away from. Theres always the lure of easy money once you go back to a full time secular career and struggle to meet the expenses of everything you want..

sadie x

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #29 on: 03 March 2013, 02:59:22 pm »
the biggest and most damaging aspect to me,is the loss of a sex drive and the reminder of work when with a partner,not knowing whether its special to them or not,because lets face it customers can look like there having the time of there life,you want it to be extra special with a partner,but in all honesty,they may act the simelar,to a paying customer....

men treating us like we are worthless and money grabbers and dont earn our money,when they couldnt be more wrong,like its as simple as spreading our legs(the kind of men i hate)

feeling trapped,something i feel regulary...

never making true friends,or making them through work and they cut you off as your a reminder of the job..