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Author Topic: Reasons not to be an escort  (Read 77068 times)

Anika Mae

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Reasons not to be an escort
« on: 17 April 2010, 12:41:30 pm »
Despite what some people think, working as a prostitute can have a lot of positive points which we could all tell you about, but if you're thinking about it you've probably already come up with enough of your own. However, it's not a job for everyone and you might not have thought about some of the drawbacks.

Stigma

Ok this one's fairly obvious, but really think about it. It's easy, especially if you're young, to not think about how this could affect you. There are stories of people being anonymously outed at their other jobs even though they didn't show their faces on their websites and tabloids sometimes get in on the act too. Once you put some photos on the internet they never really go away, and even if you don't, with mobile phone cameras, discrete webcams built into computers, and even inexpensive spycams, you can never be sure there's no evidence around.

More personally, even when stop being an prostitute it will be part of your history. Are you going to be able to tell people close to you, or will you have to keep it a secret?

danger

This is another obvious one, but by being an escort you'll be putting yourself in situations which could be dangerous. We have ways to reduce this risk but it will always be present.

isolating

It can be lonely being an escort, especially if you don't feel able to tell the people around you. You'll have to lie to them which puts a strain on the relationship at your end and some people withdraw from their friends and family to spare themselves the stress of leading a double life. Even if you do tell people you know, they won't be able to relate to a lot of your experiences. Escorts, even those who work for an agency, rarely come into contact with each other if they don't make an effort to do so, so there aren't many opportunities to chat and unwind with people who know what you're talking about.

variable income

You've had a whole week without any work, and the week before was quiet. Are you feeling stressed? Rejected? Frustrated? Did you save enough money from that good week last month, or are you struggling to make ends meet?

You never know how much money you'll make in any day, week or month, but you still need to budget and manage your time. If you're the sort of person who spends whatever money you have, you're likely to get into financial trouble. If you just hate waiting for something to happen it can drive you crazy.

The unpredictability can also make it difficult to maintain a good work/life balance. If you know that a lull could hit at any time, will you be able to turn down a job because you've arranged to do something for your friends, family, or yourself?

no security

Not only could things get quiet at any time, but there's no sick pay or holiday pay. If you can't work because of illness or injury, or you just need a break, you're the one who has to provide for that. If you don't save up enough to live for at least a few weeks (I recommend three months), a little bad luck could really mess with your life.

people trying to take advantage of you

People regularly try to get what they want from us (money and/or sex, usually) on their own terms, and especially with new escorts. This includes offering you services for money or sex, offering to help you run your business in ways that would be simple to do yourself, trying to convince you to do things the way they want by claiming that everyone does it that way, and trying to either rip you off or get a service you don't offer once you're at a booking. You need to be able to spot them and in some cases be very sure of yourself in order to stand your ground.

relationships

Prostitution can be harmful to your relationships, including those with friends and family as described above, and especially romantic ones. If you keep your job a secret you'll have to lie to your partner regularly and they can never really know you. If you tell them then even if they accept it initially they often become unhappy with the idea as time goes on and trust breaks down. If they can cope most of the time it's still likely to be used against you in arguments.

If you go the disclosure route dating becomes more of a minefield than usual, as people may be attracted to your job rather than you; thinking that they can benefit from your income or that you'll be will to have sex all the time in ways they don't think they could normally get away with.

There are a few special people who can accept your job and treat you like a normal girlfriend or boyfriend, but even that isn't a perfect solution for some escorts, who can't cope with being with someone so non possessive.

Even after you stop working there can still be issues. You still need to choose whether to admit or hide that part of your past and deal with the consequences of either, and some people see men differently after having a lot of them as clients, which can be a problem if you want a boyfriend.

trouble getting out

Most people don't go into prostitution expecting to do it for the rest of their working lives, but once you're in it can be hard to get out. The money, free time and freedom can be addictive, so many former escorts slip back into it after trying to cope with being told what to do for 40 hours a week and earning less than they could in 10. If you're not studying or doing a day job, you'll have a hole in your CV which is difficult to explain and becomes more problematic the longer you escort.
« Last Edit: 19 April 2010, 12:11:16 pm by Anika Mae »

Annabelle

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #1 on: 26 April 2010, 09:24:38 pm »
Never under estimate the impact escorting can have on one's health. Physically, mentally and emotionally. I always make sure that I get checked at the local sexual health clinic regularly (and they now know I'm a sex worker - thought it was best to be honest and they are bound by confidentiality); have a reality check every now and then to reassure myself that I am still a person in my own right with opinions, rights and a personality; and make sure that whatever happens, I don't go to sleep after having a "bad day at work" without doing something to distract myself - whether that's reading a book I know and love, going on this forum, or playing a game on a computer of sorts. This job is very high risk when it comes to health and sometimes, it can cost more than you bargain for; obviously there are things we can do to minimise the risk but no method is fail safe. Accidents happen.

The minute I stop enjoying what I do, when my health has been severely compromised or my attitudes towards sex and relationships changes for the worse, I'll walk away; and I go over all three points before I confirm a booking with someone, almost like a checklist. So far, so good!

Hermione

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #2 on: 05 May 2010, 10:36:13 pm »
I would add "Having Sex with Ugly People" to the list.  While hygeine is an absolute minimum and should be expected, the fact is that many clients are unnattractive.  You will get the occasional hottie, but you do have to ask yourself if having sex with someone you aren't attracted to is going to be a problem.

"Awkwardness" is another issue.  Your client may behave perfectly acceptably but there is no real click between you.  This can leave you feeling horrible.  Additionally, many polite and clean clients are shy and inexperienced and may be poor communicators.  This can feel embarrassing and awkward, and you will walk away from the booking wondering whether you can do this job.  If you can ignore or accept these feeling, then you'll be fine, but if not, reconsider entering the profession. 

Harlow

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #3 on: 19 May 2010, 04:54:57 am »
Hi, I have found that once you've stepped into the world of escorting & then stepped back out of it again, you can't fully! It's like being an alcoholic you get the label for life! You will still have to lie, & people will still judge you for it! & It may come back & haunt you when you least expect it! That is most probably the thing I most wished I knew then!

I am the Escort of Darkness lol

Harlow x

Candy

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #4 on: 25 July 2010, 02:30:31 am »
I never really treat the job as a "job". Before I started to do this professionally, I very often had sex with a lots of man, without having them pay for it. I found this work as a very good option for me, it's fun and I often like it. I really learn a lot during the time I spent with the clients. About their needs, about the life of the clients, their problems and many things like that. I like this job. I am so young and I feel much older inside. Like much older... More mature.
He came in the morning and woke me up with killer instinct. Wish I could stop this now.

Anika Mae

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #5 on: 25 July 2010, 03:00:33 am »
That's great Candy, but this article is intended to make people realise that there are bad things about the job that they may not have considered. Most of us here like being hookers, but that doesn't mean it's suitable for everyone who thinks they might like to be paid to have sex. Please could you try to read threads carefully so you know what people are saying before you reply.

casey_kisses

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #6 on: 25 July 2010, 01:02:37 pm »
I am so young and I feel much older inside. Like much older... More mature.

This for me is one of the most negative aspects of the job. I started escorting at 18, and it has aged me in ways that I couldn't have imagined. I have always been mature for my age, but a constant worry for me is how cynical I could become in just a few years, if I continue escorting. The maturity makes me mentally able to deal with many things about the job (which is a blessing), however it makes me feel too old, almost like I have lost some time, just to be immature and silly. It's almost like I'm out of sync, and constantly struggling against the actual age I am, and the age I feel.

xx
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
- Albus Dumbledore

Lucy Chambers

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #7 on: 25 July 2010, 01:55:59 pm »
Interesting article. I have been in this industry for a number of years. I always believed that when I stopped escorting, I would be able to pick up my life, and put it all behind me. I stopped for four years, and to be honest I didn't feel a bit different. I couldn't pick up my life and forget all about it in the way I hoped, because there is always the knowledge at the back of your mind that you have been a prostitute. There are so many things that I feel I could have done differently if I had made different choices- and now I will never know.  Unfortunately every action has a reaction, and this job does change you in many ways.

Dani

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #8 on: 26 July 2010, 01:12:23 pm »
For me one of the worst aspects of this job is 'that' client. The one who thinks because he has paid he can insult you, treat you like total crap and leave you feeling like a piece of meat.
This is the hardest type of client to deal with as he is also the type that is liable to become aggressive if you try to end the booking.
when I first started and had a client like this I would sit in a bath of dettol and cry and I have a very strong outlook on life. I do feel for those that are alot softer than me this could cause emotional damage. Infact I have seen a couple of girls left very emotionally scarred from it.

This is definatley not a job for the faint hearted. Too many girls think it is just sex but it is so much more. The emotional strain can take its toll unless you can get into the right mindset
Truth is far more important than what one wants to hear. With truth there is no us and them or colour or religion there is just fact

kizzie

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #9 on: 07 August 2010, 12:59:18 am »
All of the reasons are valid but so far the only one I'm struggling with is a feeling of isolation.  I'm resigned that I have limited time before 'rumours' start and I'm big enough and ugly enough (lol) to face that, but I have spoken to 2 people of what i'm doing, partly for safety issues and partly because I had to TELL someone, but yes, already, there is a distance between us.  One in particular keeps issuing 'be careful' warnings.  She is worried, but in the way of a Sunday Mail reader if you get my meaning. I've done a lot of jobs, some shitty, some great but all of them carry a risk in one way or another. I've got a fair idea of the risks I am running by escorting. I do everything I can to lessen them, but weighing it up, I'm going to do this, because I want to and I can.

Melanieabz

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #10 on: 08 August 2010, 11:19:50 pm »
Are you feeling stressed? Rejected? Frustrated?

    I know we're not meant to get attached to clients but in some instances after spending many enjoyable appointments with someone you just can't help it can you, and it does happen - you're only human  ? The client 'disappears', you can't get in touch as it's not professional, has he died, did you do something wrong , he's started seeing another escort you know - this can all have an impact on your psychological wellbeing and can be difficult to deal with emotionally.
     You may be unfortunate to see a couple of clients in a row who can't help but pick faults in you, or have no social skills whatsoever - if you already have a hang-up about a part of your body which get's mentioned, how will you deal with it mentally ?
    If you already have problems with rejection, low self esteem, etc., then tread very carefully as something will no doubts come along which will test you.
Best advice I can give to any escort is have a sense of humour - it sees you through the most surreal of appointments.

Emelie

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #11 on: 09 August 2010, 01:50:28 pm »
I would add to the health bit that being in such close contact with so many people can affect your general health and make you more prone to different conditions that you might not get that often otherwise.

One month after starting escorting I got my first herpes ever, and it was a really aggressive one, with the blisters all over my lips and also inside the mouth, coupled with high fewer. I was unable to work for two weeks. Obviously I might have had the virus in my system for longer, but having been in a steady relationship for quite some time I do think I got it from a client. Also got my first thrush this summer after 2 months of work.


fawn27

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #12 on: 23 August 2010, 07:47:56 am »
I feel like the hardest part for me, currently living in a smaller city is pressure to preform.  My local punter boards are very close knit, everyone seems to review, and have an opinion which can make or break an escort's earning potential.  Although my reputation is quite good Im always fearful of bad reviews that could affect my ability to pay my mortgage or tuition.   It also seems a lot of the men on the boards have become increasingly picky and critical since the start of the recession.  It can be really disheartening to read that even though I felt like I had given a client a nice time, that he thought I was fatter than my photos and had bad skin  :-[

kimmislut

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #13 on: 26 May 2012, 12:41:28 am »
No one tells you that some days you'll be waiting...and waiting..and then waiting some more  for a call, you give up when no one calls, then do something productive or positive away from "working" and the phone rings none stop...that boils my piss ! Lol But you can not live your life waiting for the next call...but when your skint as I was when I started its harder to switch off from earning fast quick money !

I'm 5 years in, escorting saved my life, but it's ruined a lot of other aspects of my personal life....

Pre-op T-girl Porn Model & Escort Kimmi-Slut !

www.twitter.com/kimmislut

orchidperfume

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Re: Reasons not to be an escort
« Reply #14 on: 22 June 2012, 09:49:11 am »
This has been very important for me to read this morning, as i am currently screwed financially i had put too much pressure on myself, I became very down this week and the timewaster get to me the most. I know we all have our fair share of them. but they dont owe me a living, its my responsibility to deal with myself at the letdown point. In general ive not had major problems with clients yet!
very close friends do know what I do, have been very supportive as they understand my circumstances, its easier but i often feel lonely waiting indoors for calls and like another lady says, the minute you go out, the damn phone rings!!! (it happens when im in the bank of all places) I do need to take that call though. I also wish i had a better timewaster radar!!!!! do argos sell them yet?!!!!
must keep going and not  let myself down , treat myself to  nice things when i can as i deserve it, we all do.
orchid xx