SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: samcas on 28 January 2018, 03:39:59 pm
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After years of being single, I have a new man in my life. Not a punter but someone who knows and accepts what I do for a living. I'm definitely in love with him and like spending time with him. He is not after my money and does not want to control me or force me to stop working. It seems natural to go to bed with him, but I can't stop thinking about it being another "appointment". I just don't get sexually exited or turned on (it is terrible to admit but I do sometimes get aroused and cum (through masturbation) during SW - but I have never had a climax with my new man - but I don't care). I have had relationships in the past - mainly before doing SW that had passionate and I was aroused (but I never orgasmed in those relationships).
I have always considered myself to be bi- curious and I have had a few one nighters with women in the past which have been mindblowing and I have done some MFF SW sessions in the last few months that I find a turn on. I have to admit that the thought of sex with a woman is much more appealing than with a guy - but I still feel that I fancy men.
Has anyone else found that SW with men changes your sexuality balance?
I feel that I would like to live with my new man and have one night flings with women as my underlying sex life - weird.
I have had a Mirena fitted and no perids which is great - could this be affecting my sex drive going strange??
On a practical point about not using condoms in private live and then working afterwards (ie less than an hour later) does anyone have advice on how to get rid of residual sperm? I have tried showers, bath and douche but it lingers. I have tried a tampon to soak it up and that works fine but I'm worried that it is unhealthy. I don't want to make him use a condom, I like being close and don't want to lose him or his support.
Has anyone else experienced these things/feelings?
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After years of being single, I have a new man in my life. Not a punter but someone who knows and accepts what I do for a living. I'm definitely in love with him and like spending time with him. He is not after my money and does not want to control me or force me to stop working. It seems natural to go to bed with him, but I can't stop thinking about it being another "appointment". I just don't get sexually exited or turned on (it is terrible to admit but I do sometimes get aroused and cum (through masturbation) during SW - but I have never had a climax with my new man - but I don't care). I have had relationships in the past - mainly before doing SW that had passionate and I was aroused (but I never orgasmed in those relationships).
I have always considered myself to be bi- curious and I have had a few one nighters with women in the past which have been mindblowing and I have done some MFF SW sessions in the last few months that I find a turn on. I have to admit that the thought of sex with a woman is much more appealing than with a guy - but I still feel that I fancy men.
Has anyone else found that SW with men changes your sexuality balance?
I feel that I would like to live with my new man and have one night flings with women as my underlying sex life - weird.
I have had a Mirena fitted and no perids which is great - could this be affecting my sex drive going strange??
On a practical point about not using condoms in private live and then working afterwards (ie less than an hour later) does anyone have advice on how to get rid of residual sperm? I have tried showers, bath and douche but it lingers. I have tried a tampon to soak it up and that works fine but I'm worried that it is unhealthy. I don't want to make him use a condom, I like being close and don't want to lose him or his support.
Has anyone else experienced these things/feelings?
Hi there
No sex work hasn't altered my sexuality as such, it has however swung me the other way - I was bi curious when I started, but now I know I definitely am mostly only attracted to men.
I don't have unprotected sex with anyone not even my husband, so I don't have the semen issue. I decided it's far easier and safer to use condoms with all sexual partners.
The first man to give me an orgasm was a client, I can have them in my personal life but one a day is enough for me which is often with a paying client. Sex with my husband is about the closeness, and comfort rather than orgasm.
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I know it goes without saying really, but make sure your partner is checked out regularly.
Bit gross, but I found semen didn't hang around, and a bath would certainly get rid of anything obvious.
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I love it makes no difference to me , unless they're shite at it , which a lot are ( even in private life they can be hopeless ) but I like finding out :) and luckily for me it's not based on appearance at all, that's just a bonus ;)
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It?s definitely put me off sex in my private life. Which is a shame because my partner and I used to have great sex. Now I feel like I wanna go home to relax, not to carry on working haha
As for the sperm issue, I ask my boyfriend to pull out because I just don?t like it inside. Such a mess. A quick baby wipe suits me fab (off the belly/tits haha)
On the rare occasion he does go inside, I use the shower to rinse it out. I really press the head up against my foofoo until I know it?s actually shooting up there and then release and it shoots back out (sorry for the graphics)
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A bath or shower will clean up anything obvious. Vaginas are naturally acidic as a cleaning mechanism, so you don't really need to use acidic tampons.
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In my case , I'm still very much up for "private sex" . I'm in my mid 40's , no long term partner but I often date for a few weeks at a time and I also indulge occasionally in swinging parties and clubs.
What I find is that I don't really switch off , I stay in the "pleasing mode " and do most of the work , or perhaps I only meet lazy lovers... whichever I soon get bored and move on ;D
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I really can't be bothered looking for a relationship .
I get enough sex good and bad from clients.
Unfortunately I have adopted the mind set that if I met somone id feel at a loss because I wasn't being paid for sex .
Rather just spend time with close male friends who I don't have to worry about .
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Unfortunately I have adopted the mind set that if I met somone id feel at a loss because I wasn't being paid for sex .
Similar here. I do Tinder but have not had sex with a date for almost 2yrs now.
My non SW ?friends? sometimes wink saying oh Kamila has a hot date tonight with another Tinder guy and I tell them why on earth would I give sex FOR FREE to a stranger.
Another thing that is happening a lot now is I have to carefully think if I REALLY want to go to another date or would rather hit the gym..
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Yes, I don't have sex in my personal life and very rarely get turned on.
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I have a casual boyfriend who I see about once a month. We don't live near each other so it's when I'm touring near him basically. When I lived closer we usually met once a week.
We have a lot of fun in bed but weirdly, he has never given me a clitoral orgasm. However - I do get vaginal orgasms with him, which is very very rare for me otherwise. I don't think I've ever had one with a client, although I regularly orgasm if they go down on me.
If I was going home to a partner every night I don't think I'd want sex every day.
Re: spunk - he always cums over my tits or bum unless I specifically request otherwise (usually so I can do a creampie photo for my private gallery.)
I would have thought if you have a shower and use a vaginal douche (just with water) that should get rid of most of it. Obviously your clients will be wearing a condom so there wouldn't be any issue of contact with penis. Maybe disallow fingering after a session with your BF? Or if you have a pre-booking, tell him you want him to cum in your mouth? Or - put a beppy sponge in before sex with the BF and remove it before the client arrives, that will catch everything.
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Yup, enough sex from clients, makes me not want to seek it out elsewhere. I'm Ace anyway (or SW made me even more so?) ;D
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At first I thought my sexual balance had changed but now ive realised that I'm totally not interested in sex or finding a partner at all and on those rare occasions that i have, i find myself stuck in 'pleasing' mode as I find it very uncomtable being pleased. Maybe I've got ADHD or something but I physically can not lay still lol
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It makes me want it more, I miss exciting sex with real passion and spontaneity. Work sex offers none of that for me.
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I do remember a very very distant past when I had fallen in love with somone and sex was great .
Now I get occasionally great sex but just not in love ;)
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My libedo is higher when working, alot higher! Unfortunately my patience and tolerance of civvie sex is zero, I like to think I'm keeping Duracell in buisness.
Dating and civvie sex feel a chore and the rare times I have done it it's been awkward and unsatisfying and I'd rather work and enjoy the sex and the money at once. (Plus occasionally work me autopilots civvie me and that can be extraordinarily awkward)
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I loved the company of my male friend but he wanted to start getting affectionate and kiss touch my breasts i felt pissed off and disappointed this evening
I didn't realise he interpreted pop over for dinner as we are going to bed together .
I'm not taking his calls at the moment he's definatly not invited back again
If it's a client I expect that and I'd been paid first
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Private life sex is very different for me and on another level emotionally and physically in a way.
I rarely give punters the chance t go on top , I tend to take control and seduce.
But in my real life I love the weight of a guy on me and the intensity plus the mental connection that's horny :)
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I used to be able to not separate the 2, civvy sex and work sex, but as I’ve got older and more experienced at the job then I have no problem having civvy sex, the only problem is that I have to be in total lust with a civvy guy to enjoy sex otherwise it’s just like having sex with a client but without enjoying the money afterwards :(
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In my case , I'm still very much up for "private sex" . I'm in my mid 40's , no long term partner but I often date for a few weeks at a time and I also indulge occasionally in swinging parties and clubs.
What I find is that I don't really switch off , I stay in the "pleasing mode " and do most of the work , or perhaps I only meet lazy lovers... whichever I soon get bored and move on ;D
+1 to ‘pleasing mode’, selfish bloody men/crap in bed men - there’s too many to count!