Not listening to the rubbish spouted by punters on forums!

[SnakeLady]

Well that shows just how differently posts can be read. I fully understood the point Kurlie was making and dont think she was at all expecting anyone to agree with her or was looking for bimbo airheads replies. If anything her points showed a real understanding of the more subtle dymanics of PN and some of its regular posters. I would guess she has been around the industry a good while and so it is a shame she has left.

Reading through Kurly's old post again, I totally agree with Trafford and others. Speaking as someone not directly involved with any Pboard (although I have been lurking long enough) I have to say that from a distance... and this may ruffle a few feathers... they don't exactly smack of female empowerment. I am sure there are more subtle dynamics going on between people knowing each other, as well as the existence of opinionated women, considerate men, friendships forming etc.
But my problem with these boards is, that there is a certain type of Wanky Bloke allowed in to freely spew verbal abuse, in a way he wouldn't be on say: BDSM, swinger or dating sites. Which basically sends the message to users and lurkers alike that it's acceptable behaviour. Especially when some of these individuals are, what's it called? Verified/Honoured Members or even Moderators.

Because there is a clear line between being opinionated and verbally abusive.

Example 1)  it is not OK to say "why are so many Dommes/Escorts on AW old and unattractive?". What you as a punter could say is that you prefer to see young Dommes/Escorts with model looks. It may brand you as shallow, (and God knows some men are shallow) but at least then you are not being derogatory to every sex seller (or woman for that matter) over 40.  

Example 2)  it is not OK to hijack (what seems like half of all the threads going), in order to bemoan escorts for being too expensive, greedy, think we're somewhat worth the money we're charging and variations thereof.  What you as a punter could do is to get some professional help IMO. As that would be a lot cheaper.  
Remarks as such do nothing to address the underlying issues some punters may have for "having to" pay for sex. But those remarks, this nagging, those passive aggressive jokes I believe do chip away at our confidence and undermine our professional identities time and time and time again. Which may explain why some ladies decide to charge less, increase the number of extras they provide etc.

That's what I meant when saying some posters were woman hating. Especially when some Wankers pass a "got yourself to blame cause you were so greedy" remark right after a poor woman got raped by a serious scam "agency".

As for me, I don't mind strong opinions. But I do mind verbal abuse from people not bothered to address their own mental health issues. Because I am not there to nurse them by patiently explaining facts everybody else knows and propably already tried to explain. Nor am I there to nag the Moderators to do their job properly, if they are not even bothered by said abuse. Which is why I have so far stayed clear from boards where these ManToddlers get to rumage without proper supervision.

~SnakeLady

[Trafford]

None of the people who can't seem to find anything wrong in Kurly/Curly's original post (which is the one I objected to for reasons which I have explained until my brain hurts) apparently belong to the group she was insulting. I, on the other hand do, and so do a good few of my friends and clients.

I did not see Kurlie mention any names and I really do not think you were anywhere in her thoughts. Puntenet like all boards has a few queen bees and divas (we have joey  )   which many will appreciate and many will not. Most girls who have been around a while know to look further at people and issues and shy away from face value judgements. There are very few girls in this business who are universally liked even some of the self styled high profile ones. Noone is all things to all people and so even if Kurlie had specific people in mind - which I do not think she had - none were named so does it really matter?

Other boards - one of the worst? The Hive, set up to spite Puntingzone - now that was a board war!!!!!

[BurlesqueHoney]

Mmmh, I don?t disagree with most of the points made by other posters about punting boards, especially PN.  That said so while I groan and often have to self impose abstinence from those boards for my sanity, I actually do enjoy the banter and interaction with a number of fellow posters.  I have an all female private forum (The Guild) to escape to when I crave some open and frank exchange with fellow floozies free from grunters trying to tell me how to run my business lol

 While undoubtedly there are many cases of misogynist posts on PN ? there are also rather lovely gents among them who make up some of my clientele.  A bit less generalisation and less of a stark black and white, either/or attitude would be good.  I do find it a bit offensive to lump all members of other boards together, especially as many posters with integrity tend to participate across a number of forums.  I think while not intentional to dismiss everyone with a sweeping generalisation does a great injustice to a lot of ladies I have the utmost respect for who regularly contribute to PN and other mixed boards, such as Laura, Amanda, BBW Claire, Amy just to name a few.  Among my fave co-ed boards is Alba where there is a warm and lovely atmosphere of gentle teasing and great wits.  Quite a few of the regular contributors also post on PN and again I find it an insult to them to dismiss them along with an entire forum.  A board is a living breathing organism made up of individual members ? what I dislike are the grunters but then again I find it healthy to remind myself how lucky I am not to count them among my customers.

The point I was trying to make and it seems so did Amy is that if you are feisty and post assertively ? you do need to accept people reacting to those posts.  Kurly complained about Amy?s comment regarding analysing her.  But likewise it was certainly not called for to attack Amy too and accuse her of being full of aggression.  I have seen no such behaviour to warrant this comment.  While it is a shame that ladies leave ? ?tis the nature of boards.  I prefer some healthy and robust discussion and will not be emotionally blackmailed to not express myself lest someone who can clearly dish out but cannot stand to hear some honest responses ? is mortally offended and deletes her membership. 

[Trafford]

Which is why I have so far stayed clear from boards where these ManToddlers get to rumage without proper supervision.

~SnakeLady

ManToddlers   Seriously though, generally speaking, men who hang around on boards so do not reflect the many lovelys who I and others get to see. My clients really seem to just pop into this world and then pop right back to normal life when the door closes. What makes a man want to hang out online with a plethora of prostitutes?

[UrbaneAspects]

But those remarks, this nagging, those passive aggressive jokes I believe do chip away at our confidence and undermine our professional identities time and time and time again. Which may explain why some ladies decide to charge less, increase the number of extras they provide etc.

AMEN!

The male forums are no better: Here's a reply between me and 2 'punters' several months ago. Warning! It does contain disturbing bullshit. I'll make my quote in black and theirs in red and maroon . You can see how soul destroying this can be....

  #36    09-14-2009  
zipperzone  
Duke
   Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: vancouver, b.c., canada.
Posts: 5,338  
 
 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Let me also add this......
Let's assume that an escort is working 32 hours a week (which is still considered full-time). Using a lowball figure of $125/hr, that means the guy is making, TAX FREE, $4000/wk, $16000/mo and $208,000/yr.  

Quote:
Orignally posted by Joey
For crying out loud, here we go with the figures again...Where do people get these from?


I know several escorts that make this kind of money....some of them are talked about on this board quite often.

If RianB isn't and/or can't make these figures, perhaps he should take a long hard look at himself, his business practices and most importantly, his attitude. Unfortunately I doubt that he has the necessary skills to do this effectively.  

As you can see, a 2nd poster jumped in for an attack.

[SnakeLady]

What makes a man want to hang out on line with a plethora of prostitutes?

A good question. Personally, I am a bit sceptic about the actual purpose of it all. Our relationships to clients are not meant to cross over into their personal lives. So what purpose does it fill when it crosses over into cyberspace instead?

To justify their cheating on their wife/man?
To having their ego stroked?
To re enforce a belief that what you've got is a real friendship and not just sex?
To enable them to tell you things they dare not say to women/men in general?
To pretend that you are actually their girl or boyfriend?
Or is it the desire to belong to a kind of underground, sexual minority group?
Is it a form of whore fetishism, where guys get off on interacting with real life hookers?
Do they feel the need to get reassured by forums that what they do isn't abusive to us, and that we truly are happy to have sex with them?

Because there is a paradox. If all they wanted was sex and company (or paid for romantic flings at their own convenience) then why do they feel the need to stay close to us via forums? Or could it be (what I long suspected) that most of them aren't even clients, just on line wannabees?

I am not passing any judgements either way. Am only exploring the topic.

[UrbaneAspects]

If all they wanted was sex and company (or paid for romantic flings at their own convenience) then why do they feel the need to stay close to us via forums? Or could it be (what I long suspected) that most of them aren't even clients, just on line wannabees?

You are making some really good points today Ms. Thang! Makes so much sense. But (I couldn't find said thread) there was a poster who quoted "why would I want to carry an additional phone on the off-chance I hire an escort?

Well the F you're posting on here if you arent hiring anytime soon and dont do so frequently? Ladies, I'm starting to think its similar to a board on 'Playboy' or 'ESPN cover models', or 'Maxim' chicks    If anything, its just conversation, some of it aimed at your self-confidence 

[Trafford]

What makes a man want to hang out on line with a plethora of prostitutes?

A good question. Personally, I am a bit sceptic about the actual purpose of it all. Our relationships to clients are not meant to cross over into their personal lives. So what purpose does it fill when it crosses over into cyberspace instead?

To justify their cheating on their wife/man?
To having their ego stroked?
To re enforce a belief that what you've got is a real friendship and not just sex?
To enable them to tell you things they dare not say to women/men in general?
To pretend that you are actually their girl or boyfriend?
Or is it the desire to belong to a kind of underground, sexual minority group?
Is it a form of whore fetishism, where guys get off on interacting with real life hookers?
Do they feel the need to get reassured by forums that what they do isn't abusive to us, and that we truly are happy to have sex with them?

Because there is a paradox. If all they wanted was sex and company (or paid for romantic flings at their own convenience) then why do they feel the need to stay close to us via forums? Or could it be (what I long suspected) that most of them aren't even clients, just on line wannabees?

I am not passing any judgements either way. Am only exploring the topic.

It is something which I have pondered on and off over the years and I am no closer to the answer and I suppose there is not a definitive one.

Some of the male posters seem socially backward and this must be the only way they can communicate with women. Some seem to live vicariously through those they think live an exciting lifestyle. Some just want more for their money and quite a few probably dont punt at all or so rarely that their chosen girl is probably on less than minimum wage when factoring the hours of chatting up either side of any bookings. Inner ego probably features a lot too and there are always the boys who think of themselves as knights on their pink chargers saving us poor souls from this murky world.

Obviously some sound friendships do develop but mostly its all a little odd.

[amy]

It is something which I have pondered on and off over the years and I am no closer to the answer and I suppose there is not a definitive one.

Some of the male posters seem socially backward and this must be the only way they can communicate with women. Some seem to live vicariously through those they think live an exciting lifestyle. Some just want more for their money and quite a few probably dont punt at all or so rarely that their chosen girl is probably on less than minimum wage when factoring the hours of chatting up either side of any bookings. Inner ego probably features a lot too and there are always the boys who think of themselves as knights on their pink chargers saving us poor souls from this murky world.

Obviously some sound friendships do develop but mostly its all a little odd.

I've wondered this myself too, especially when I was new to the Internet - some people do seem to spend an awful lot of time online. I've been on a lot more myself these last few days as I've been trying to sort two new computers out and I'm dying to get outside into the fresh air!

I think a lot of what Trafford says is true - I know of a handful of ex and non punters who just like the interaction (although one of the most universally derided-for-not-punting posters is in fact a regular punter albeit not one I'd be any hurry to meet) and many will have no one close to them to talk to about their activities; I think admitting being a punter to your nearest and dearest is probably worse than telling them you're a prossie. And I daresay some people enjoy being anonymous and thus getting to say whatever and be whoever they like knowing there will be little consequence.

As for wanting to hang around WGs, there are a good few among the pond life who would rather the ladies were not on the boards at all - we are occasionally sneeringly reminded that 'this is PUNTERnet', in case we had forgotten, although not many share their view and when an all-punter board was set up it didn't last long. The knights in shining armour come along now and again too (poor old MrMalabu, Gawd love him ). I'm a bit confused by Snakelady's bit about punting being abusive - I AM truly happy to be having sex with the punters I meet, they are clean, polite, intelligent people (with very few exceptions) treat me kindly and respectfully, and many are surprisingly adept in the bedroom; some live far away from me and I don't see them often, so the occasional 'postcard' doesn't do any harm. To be fair, I'm not daft enough to think that all punters are like this, but  as Honey said, the boards give me chance to count myself lucky that the more unpleasant ones are never likely to darken my door.

I'm actually also on a civvy forum to do with a hobby of mine, and some days it makes PN (and not forgetting PLink, which I find unbelievably cliquey and misogynistic sometimes) look like the Teddy Bears picnic. Some of the out and out abuse which takes place when disagreements erupt is incredible and makes me suspect that the opportunity to shoot one's mouth off anonymously in itself brings out the worst in many, whether it be about punting, floristry or llama breeding. Some people just like a scrap.

[UrbaneAspects]

makes me suspect that the opportunity to shoot one's mouth off anonymously in itself brings out the worst in many, whether it be about punting, floristry or llama breeding. Some people just like a scrap.

I think its important to make sure that only an idea is being attacked...not the person themselves. Even still, the idea shouldn't even be 'attacked'. Just questioned further and if necessary; proved wrong.

Even if it takes days and weeks to resolve. In the end, there isn't a winner or a loser.

[SnakeLady]

I'm a bit confused by Snakelady's bit about punting being abusive

I didn't mean that punting in itself was abusive. Only that some punters may themselves think that what they do could be classed as abusive.  And that they then feel the need for reassurance from ladies on Pboards to check that they were nice customers, we weren't in pain when they were inside etc, we didn't fake that orgasm, we enjoyed ourselves too, etc. Oh, and that we haven't been coerced, trafficked... you know the drill  

Which could be just as much one of the reasons why they turn to Pboards.

I think admitting being a punter to your nearest and dearest is probably worse than telling them you're a prossie.

A very good point.

Now, I need to follow your advice and get the hell out of Cyberspace myself....Bye for now.  

[SnakeLady]

Let's assume that an escort is working 32 hours a week

What do guys like these think escorting means? Stuffing sausages?

[UrbaneAspects]

What do guys like these think escorting means? Stuffing sausages?

Or getting stuffed with sausages...the Vienna kind 

[UrbaneAspects]

Ok, confessions here: I signed up for punternet, but Im not going to be a 'big' poster there. After reading what many of the men on there say, whew...I feel I'd constantly be carrying AK47s and grenade launchers everytime I reply to a thread. Those guys talk alot of SHIT. I'd been of popped one of them in the face lol...

But I do like the fact that unlike the gay punter forum here, there seems to be a bit more sense of realness on punternet. People ask genuine questions that deal with genuine things. Our forum is full of fluff. Very rearely do the escorts and punters get down on their hands and knees and post things that are dealt with daily. Its a very sterile feel.

Our forums used to be good back in 2002 up til about 2005 and then something weird happened. I wasnt even escorting til 2008 so I dont have a clue. But I know I like punternet better.

[Anika Mae]

Could that be a legal thing? I read something a while back, maybe a guide to posting reviews on bigdoggie, and it was very coy. It seems talking about the real stuff (at least part of it) wasn't allowed.