SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: Sarita on 23 November 2009, 11:25:11 am
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Hi all
I saw a thread on Pnet this morning that has really concerned me and I thought it might be worth posting something on here. There are certain themes that crop up on Pnet over and over again, with some posters coming out with the same old crap each time. Am sure it's exactly the same on other boards and what I'm about to say is intended as a general comment. One of these themes is the subject of when to give out your address to a client. As far as I'm concerned , I don't give out my exact address until the guy is in the vicinity. This applies whether I'm at a private address or hotel. I have never had anyone complain about this and appears to me to be standard practice.
This way of working seems to annoy some of the pn punters, who state that they will not see any wg who doesn't give out their address at the time of booking. There is a post on Pn this morning from a lady (who also posts on here), which suggests that she changed the way she gives out her address as a result of previous comments on pn and had problems as a result.
I am worried that some wgs (or wbs!) , especially those new to the business might take too much of the stuff that is posted on the various boards to heart. The address business is only one example. Another might be that you have to show your face on your website , or that you won't get any work if you're not an 18 year old size 6 blonde. In my experience the vast majority of clients are very understanding about the measures we take to ensure our own safety and security and any man who thinks we should compromise on this in any way in order to suit them is really not worth taking a booking from.
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I saw this one too, and I agree it's really important to remember that some punters do want everything their own way and just because this is often expressed on their boards that doesn't make it the right or the safest thing to do for us. If we listened to everything said on these we would never ask for money upfront, overrun by half the time again on every appointment and be available twenty four hours a day to take bookings with ten minutes notice, as well as answering all our enquries within the hour and never ever missing calls. Phew :P.
I never give my address out at all, not even when the client arrives - my postcode takes them to a nearby car park where I can see them and from which I talk them into the building; I let them in at the lobby and they are accompanied to my flat by me so there is no chance of them tipping off anybody outside. I have never had problems with this and if a punter said he wouldn't visit without the full address I would tell him to go elsewhere.
The other stuff is true too - the long and short of it is that whilst experienced punters can offer some helpful advice, this is always going to be from their point of view and not from ours, and they don't always realise our reasons for doing certain things (and why should they, after all?) The only person who should be deciding how you work, is you.
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The post was made by me and whilst giving my address out to a trusted regular with knowledge of the area meant it didn't have consquences for myself, it did have consequences for the client when he turned up to find the police crawling all over my property. Can you imagine the look on his face!!!!!I wasn't able to warn him since my mobile had gone missing and as such I'd had to cancel the number plus handset to ensure no-one could use it nor access any data from it.
As it is if I did give out my full address most new clients would get terribly lost since you can't drive right to my house nor sat nav to it. In fact you would be wandering around outside lost thinking I was mucking around. This is one reason why I don't give it out - and that's to flipping help the clients find me with concise directions once they have gotten parked.
Over on pnet they don't seem to get this at all - I'm doing it for the benefit of them as well as myself.
::)
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Thanks for explaining, Strawberry. I was hoping you might! x
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That's the problem. Some people think Punternet is the punting bible. It simply isn't. Neither is what they say set in stone.
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I recently wrote a Dear John letter to the punter forum I was posting on. Majority of them rarely hire, although there are a few who do very often. The escorts are so fake and fluffy and act like doormats.
I've concluded its just not a healthy environment. When push comes to shove, I've found many of the things that the forum clients say they dont like e.g. paying upfront...when meeting face to face it doesn't even bother them.
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I saw this one too, and I agree it's really important to remember that some punters do want everything their own way and just because this is often expressed on their boards that doesn't make it the right or the safest thing to do for us. If we listened to everything said on these we would never ask for money upfront, overrun by half the time again on every appointment and be available twenty four hours a day to take bookings with ten minutes notice, as well as answering all our enquries within the hour and never ever missing calls. Phew :P.
Amy you left out, giving regulars 50% discounts and offering BB, meeting them for coffee, inviting them over for dinner on Sundays, letting them call us just for a chat ANYTIME of the day or night, dropping them off when they need a lift somewhere, and shagging them and letting them pay us later on, because they forgot their wallet in the car! I hate punter forums, the drivel that passes for intelligent discussion between 'experts' nauseates me.
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Amy you left out, giving regulars 50% discounts and offering BB, meeting them for coffee, inviting them over for dinner on Sundays, letting them call us just for a chat ANYTIME of the day or night, dropping them off when they need a lift somewhere, and shagging them and letting them pay us later on, because they forgot their wallet in the car! I hate punter forums, the drivel that passes for intelligent discussion between 'experts' nauseates me.
Pmsl ;D. I get the 'nothing to do with a booking' chat ones a lot - they must wonder why I don't weigh 20 stone as I've always just sat down for lunch/tea/takeaway-that's-going-cold. One tip is to get your other phone and make it make a ring noise (Oh, I'll I have to go, that's me mam...)
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I try to avoid Punter forums as i find the opinions spouted by the majority of the men on them utterly depressing. Was reading a thread a while ago from a guy who claimed to have a stunning girlfriend,who he loved deeply and was brilliant in bed yet he couldnt stop visiting escorts! Now it may be utterly hypocritical of me but it just makes me wonder what people want out of life when they can have so much and still not be able to stop cheating :o The human psyche is a terrible thing sometimes.
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I quite enjoy some of the chat on some of the forums and my local forum LBB has a lot of nice, sensible punters. The address thing came up on this forum too and had as many punters defending the way we give out our location and said they didn't think it was a problem as stupid men complaining about it.
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I try to avoid Punter forums as i find the opinions spouted by the majority of the men on them utterly depressing. Was reading a thread a while ago from a guy who claimed to have a stunning girlfriend,who he loved deeply and was brilliant in bed yet he couldnt stop visiting escorts!
Girl, thats a lie honey. I believe the girlfriend part, but as far as him getting awesome head,ass, and pussy whenever he wanted it? Naaaaah. If that was the case he wouldn't be seeing escorts. I think he just wanted to inflate his ego. He may love her, but the sex life is probably lackluster or there's something missing e.g. anal or oral or affection or euthusiasm...
Which is why they come to us :P
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Girl, thats a lie honey.
LOL
You do make me laugh Joey. I imagine you as a very loud black woman mmmmmmHMMMMM girl *pouts*
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Found a great thread on Punternet (i know i shouldn't look but its like a carcrash,you cant help but stare) A poster is talking about a lady who he used to see in his area for pretty cheap rates who he describes as utterly stunning and the whole package. He then says he no longer visits her as she 'Got greedy and realised she could make more in London so moved there'
So basically a lady who realises her potential and wishes to maximise her earnings is greedy? Would these punters if given a chance of promotion or better earnings in their own jobs not take it in case they were regarded as greedy?
I mean why do we charge at all? perhaps we should all start offering free appointments to prevent us being regarded as (heaven forfend) money grabbing? ;D
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Hee hee, hey Colette, maybe we should just tango slap them all!! LOL. (that was a joke to anyone who may take offense.... OFCOURSE I would never, ever condone violence ;) ;)) Sorry but I still have visions from the other thread lol.
And if anyone watches true blood, I imagine Joey talking like the guy on there (can't remember his name) who's also an escort as it happens ;D
Sorry to be way off-topic
xx
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He then says he no longer visits her as she 'Got greedy and realised she could make more in London so moved there'
Good for her! He missed out the bit after "realised she could make more [and see fewer mean clients] in London blah blah".
Punter forums give me the chills. They seem to attract a lot of men who dislike women and/or resent paying women for sex, and/or like talking about "punts" like they don't involve a female human being at all. I'd say 99% of my lovely clients (and I'm not just saying that - they ARE nice, otherwise I wouldn't still be working) have never heard of punter forums or have seen them and recoiled in horror. I'm glad because I prefer clients who are after a bit of human interaction instead of "insert penis; feel good about self".
Lately, a bunch of Punternetters have openly declared their support for the BNP. I do despair. ::)
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One 'punternetter' openly declared his support for the BNP from what I can remember - a few others commented on why they think may be gaining support amongst the electorate and a good few also argued vehemently against trusting the likes of Nick Griffin with anything more important than flattening cardboard boxes. And the BNP is a legal political organisation, with democratically elected representatives.
Any individual's politics are their own business, whether they concur with our own or not; this is not a country where we tell people who they can and cannot vote for. If folk don't like it they should get off their arses and vote more, which is seemingly how they won seats in the first place (certainly in the case of Yorkshire and the Humber). The voters who did, whether we like or not, elected the BNP.
This is a bit like the old adage about restaurants - if you have a good meal out you would tell a couple of people, but if you had a terrible one and as a result spent the whole night driving the porcelain bus, you would most likely tell everyone who would listen. I'm not saying it's all wonderful stuff, but there does seem to be a concerted effort to look only for the most abhorrent posts, posters and attitudes on the forum - what about the rest?
I have met several clients from PN (some of them active posters) and they have become good regulars - tarring everyone with the same brush makes us no better than when posters there do it. It's a lively place and I've seen (and been in) a few real dogfights, but I much prefer it to the cliqueyness and sycophantic drivel which seems to make up other punting boards. A bit of balance needed, methinks.
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And if anyone watches true blood, I imagine Joey talking like the guy on there (can't remember his name) who's also an escort as it happens ;D
Lafayette! I don't think Joey's that sassy though. Few real people can achieve that sort of level.
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And if anyone watches true blood, I imagine Joey talking like the guy on there (can't remember his name) who's also an escort as it happens ;D
OMG YES!
... but, I am only on episode 3 so I didn't know he was an escort. Damn you!
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... but, I am only on episode 3 so I didn't know he was an escort. Damn you!
[/quote
Ooops! Sowwy :(
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And if anyone watches true blood, I imagine Joey talking like the guy on there (can't remember his name) who's also an escort as it happens ;D
OMG YES!
... but, I am only on episode 3 so I didn't know he was an escort. Damn you!
Oh don't worry, Lafayette is a lot of things. He is my favorite character on that show.
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I love anything to do with Vampires and 'Angel' could come and bite me any place, any time. So I got excited about true blood, watched 10min of it and got bored.
Maybe I need to give it another chance?
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Were you watching from the beginning? The first episode really impressed us and since then it's got less great. Still good, but I don't think I'd enjoy it as much without the initial setup.
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I think I watched the second episode and it just didn't grab me, it was a bit more than 10 min, but I was completely underwhelmed.
I'll try to watch the first episode, maybe I'll get into it.
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Sorry late in on this one.
I refuse to use punter forums. Back to the subject of this thread, I occasionally get a newbie who might not realise that you don't give out your address, or, they think you might be working somewhere which is not your home or whatever. Some try to slip it in at the end of a long involved set of negotiations, thinking they're going to catch you unawares. Nice try, I always think lol. I had one guy recently who became so inflamed from having to follow my instructions for finding me (without me giving out my address) that he ended up spitting bile in my car park. Or his dummy. Bit of both. The reason he could not follow the directions was that he kept interrupting with whiney plaintive questions "why does it have to be so hard - I just want to have a massage blah blah". Then he wondered why he got lost. Thankfully, there are not many like him.
I always tell them "You wouldn't expect me to give my address on a blind date would you?" I mean, considering what we do, it's about 100 times more important an issue. They just don't realise how dangerous giving your address to someone, sight unseen, can be. Particularly if you work from home.
Punter forums - bah! I have always had my reports (favourable) deleted from them and asked not to be discussed. Don't like them. which kind of makes them not that reliable or representative of the industry. And lot of the guys posting know exactly what they are doing and post things which might influence someone new.
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Well the up side ladies is that one of the PN mods is kindly offering unsolicited "free feedback from a customer perspective" to us girls who are "trying to flog our bodies in a recession".
http://www.punternet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25098
Edit: Someone Pmd to ask if I was being serious with my gratitude to this mod 'gentleman' - no and I should have added a ::) to the end of my post. He has backtracked now though and locked the thread as it was pointed out how similar his views were to those of the resident board mysoginist. Thank god most punters are nothing like these 2 or most of the others who spend too much time on forums.
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Lol, I just literally shuddered at the thought. Luckily I don't need to go and look because I'm guessing it says, "Better Service Tip #1: Give me all services for free now plz and don't be grumpy about it!" and I'm sure I'm right. ;D
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Well the up side ladies is that one of the PN mods is kindly offering unsolicited "free feedback from a customer perspective" to us girls who are "trying to flog our bodies in a recession".
http://www.punternet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25098
Edit: Someone Pmd to ask if I was being serious with my gratitude to this mod 'gentleman' - no and I should have added a ::) to the end of my post. He has backtracked now though and locked the thread as it was pointed out how similar his views were to those of the resident board mysoginist. Thank god most punters are nothing like these 2 or most of the others who spend too much time on forums.
Yes that thread was a cracker, even for him ::)
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Punternet is a funny animal.... I get a lot of bookings via there and a high number of unique views on my stats. There are quite a lot of decent, intelligent, warm and funny posters among the Neanderthal Grunters! But if you read the drivel by the latter you would soon lose faith and sanity.
Paradoxically, the rudest and most misogynist among that cyber mob appear to be the most sensitive little souls during bookings. While simultaneously reducing escorts to mere F**K Dolls and venomously referring to them as ?lying whores? on a regular basis, the same missing punting links have their feelings crushed if a lady counted the money in front of them or otherwise draws too much attention to the encounter being a commercial transaction ? go figure!
Was going to get my claws out on PN and compose a scathing reply to the latest journo soliciting for ready-made quotes for her hard-hitting article at Glamour magazine. Am I the only one who does not see the two really sitting well together in such a publication? In the end so Amy and Christa echoed virtually verbatim my points. Especially, Amy pointed out the flaws and ignorant assumptions to the proposed article. The so-called journalist then was miraculously contacted by victims of sex trafficking.... At this point, I decided not to waste my breath on this hack! People like this should limit their supposed journalistic talents on hard hitting research of the real story behind Balenciaga handbags, more in keeping with the general calibre of their glossy! But well done Amy on a few great posts!
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Did you say this was on the fabulous punternet Honey? I'll have to go and have a look ;D I take perverse pleasure in journalists getting an ear bashing for some reason... ???
xx
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Just finished reading it.... great stuff Amy xx
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Punternet is a funny animal....
Was going to get my claws out on PN and compose a scathing reply to the latest journo soliciting for ready-made quotes for her hard-hitting article at Glamour magazine. Am I the only one who does not see the two really sitting well together in such a publication? In the end so Amy and Christa echoed virtually verbatim my points. Especially, Amy pointed out the flaws and ignorant assumptions to the proposed article. The so-called journalist then was miraculously contacted by victims of sex trafficking.... At this point, I decided not to waste my breath on this hack! People like this should limit their supposed journalistic talents on hard hitting research of the real story behind Balenciaga handbags, more in keeping with the general calibre of their glossy! But well done Amy on a few great posts!
I think Amy's posts were as usual excellent. However the rest of the thread is sorta crazy. Girls saying they've not met a trafficked woman on PN so they cant possibly exist, numerous men trying to get in the act which never fails to amaze me. One asking if the journo will be featuring stories of good punts?? Its a trafficking article FFS.The mysogonist mod trying to undermine the journo woman with hints about fake IDs on the board and another mod asking said journo to invite one of the mods along to an interview! Looks to a outsider like a load of people who are desperate for the nasty side of our business to stay hidden in case it upsets the status quo.
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The thread about Traffiking has well and truly pee'd me off!
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However the rest of the thread is sorta crazy. Girls saying they've not met a trafficked woman on PN so they cant possibly exist, numerous men trying to get in the act which never fails to amaze me. One asking if the journo will be featuring stories of good punts?? Its a trafficking article FFS.The mysogonist mod trying to undermine the journo woman with hints about fake IDs on the board and another mod asking said journo to invite one of the mods along to an interview! Looks to a outsider like a load of people who are desperate for the nasty side of our business to stay hidden in case it upsets the status quo.
I agree with this completely and it looks to be turning into a witch hunt - the point I was trying hard to make is that to blithely state that 'sex trafficking is increasing in the UK - fact' is lazy, blinkered and dangerously simplistic when there is no proof whatsoever. You would need to agree a start date and a fixed period of time to observe trends, and also have reliable, relevant (in terms of sample size and demographic), and above all, PROVABLE sets of figures from both beginning, ending and intermittent points in order to credibly make such a claim. No one has these figures which is why the issue is so hotly debated by the industry, politicians and the antis - if there were concrete proof either way someone would have been found to be wrong by now.
I know that trafficking exists - the Chinese brothel 3 streets away from me was actually one of Pentameter 2's success stories, although the ladies have all since 'disappeared' and at least two are now working independently (all were working voluntarily as prostitutes, and a common misconception seems to be that 'trafficked' means the same as 'forced' or 'coerced', which it does not).
Unfortunately, as ever, our journo is only hearing the bits that concur with her already-made opinion, and my belief is that most of her article has been written before she ever even found PN. Fortunately though, it is only Glamour magazine, and no matter what predictable, asinine, emotive drivel eventually goes to print, she'll be back to roadtesting sequinned beanies by Valentine's Day...
I should probably explain that my laptop has died on its arse and I'm posting from my PDA, which is why I haven't been back on the thread to join in, and yes, it is pissing me off. Normal service resumed tomorrow, preferably on one of those nice red Dell things.
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I should probably explain that my laptop has died on its arse and I'm posting from my PDA, which is why I haven't been back on the thread to join in, and yes, it is pissing me off. Normal service resumed tomorrow, preferably on one of those nice red Dell things.
Managing a post of that size from your PDA? You've just added a few notches to your geek cred...
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I am so relieved there are other escorts who cannot stand Pnet and other forums. :-* Sure, I've seen some considerate male posters there too, and miss some of Sunni Tara's brilliant old posts. But what shocks me is the open woman hatred on these forums. And that moderators find it acceptable.
I have been reading it in the past and have been thinking as to whether to join in but it got me thinking - what for?
What's in it for me, as an escort on these boards? Do they really bring in bookings? And is the effort really worth it?
I mean it's not like any other forums where you are on an equal level, is it? Men are anonymous, women display their professional identities. Men loose nothing by behaving like pigs, women get identified by their advertising profiles. Correct me if I'm wrong, but let's say I'd like to announce a tour. I set a profile up and post in the appropriate section. My profile then displays my pics on my web site, so any potential clients could find me when looking up the tour.
Then I decide to post something back about exactly what I think about John the Wanker's opinions, as he has just slagged off all Dommes as old and unattractive. Something tells me I cannot then switch to an anonymous profile, since I've already advertise with my professional one on display in another section. Or can I? Which means that whenever I post something, I have to be 10 times more considerate, than John the Wanker. Mr Wanker has got nothing to loose, but I always felt I could. And I don't think I'm the only one.
Because there is a certain pattern. Some men there behave like emotional retards, a clique of women are being purely sycophantic (gawping for bookings) and other ladies are ever oh-so-very-patiently-explaining-their-POW when just by reading some the posts you feel like erupting: GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU STUPID PRICKS!!!!! >:(
It's the whole concept of escorts and punters being able to communicate with each other. What on earth for? And isn't it really what bookings are meant for? I mean if I chat about everything with my regulars during sparetime, what is then left to talk about during our sessions? And what about his enthusiasm for booking me again once we speak so often on line?
To me this concept seems as lame as when you load up your music for free. In the end, who's going to purchase your Cd's when you can just load it off the internet for free?I find it rather contradictory that since we hate having our time wasted on TWs , why we so gladly give that same time away for free on P boards.
The only good thing I can think of coming from Pboards (apart from Warning Boards) seems to be SAAFE. Well, I know where I rather spend my time.
~SnakeLady
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I find it rather contradictory that since we hate having our time wasted on TWs , why we so gladly give that same time away for free on P boards.
LOL That and the rest of your post is dead true. For some girls boards do give them somewhere to talk about the business which must be handy if they have no-one to talk to about it in their personal life. That though breeds an environment for men to position themselves nicely as advice svengalis and shoulders to cry on. God knows I've seen enough of evidence of men manipulating girls from that position whether it be just as someone to back them up on a thread or to give them extra services or very cheap rates. The old dont you know who I am, I write FRs/am a moderator/am a highly respected and known poster is alive and well and its not just the new and naive who fall for it/go along with it. As you point out, we are not annoymous and so even some of those who like to think of themselves as outspoken, soon enough toe the line when its a potential big spending customer they may upset by being honest. Such in the business we are in. Fortunately on here, views are more honestly bandied about. :)
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Yeah, so much for punternut being promoted as this egalitarian utopian cyberland where punters and wg's get along just fine and dandy, and it promotes all this "greater understanding" between the two.
Punter boards are there to favour the punter, make no mistake. The women have to mostly say what the punters want to hear. Occasionally they will allow a mild mewling noise of objection just as a token.
They also try to make out that you cannot get along in this industry without them - WRONG.
And some of the worst clients I've had were from punternut. Shudder.
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I've generally had good experiences with guys from Pnet. What does annoy me is that they say we are the ones running businesses in the public domain so they can have a go at us, pull us apart and recently even justified discussing if it's more profitable for a girl to offer shorter bookings because they'll often leave quickly leaving them ready for the next client within a few minutes. I know some consumers do question companies who make large profits and a lot of businesses run suggestion schemes but this happens to be a very personal and private industry that can't simply churn out as many cheap TV's as possible. Too many clients even via a limited contact period leaves the service provider resenting or not able to put as much into her service. That's my experience when I tried offering shorter or higher turnover just for the extra cash.
Perhaps I'm not the same as some of the girls/women who do do that?
Seems some guys think with their money and not how certain ways of doing things could affect the service provider. Which is one reason why independents have the upper hand. They/we decide how often we work, how many clients we see and the length of contact we prefer with our clients. We do this in order that we still enjoy the work without getting jaded, resentful or endangering physical and mental well being.
I would say being an escort can be very stressful at times but funnily enough it's only the time spent arranging appointments/booking/fielding enquiries that I find difficult - so many people to deal with and quite a few who think you are beholden to them even before a meeting. Once I'm with a guy I'm being sexy Ruth and in my element - no stresses there.
I've met some great guys escorting and know some who have decided they can't be bothered with certain forums anymore because of the general attitude expressed there. Others just take it with a pinch of salt in a light-hearted manner which is probably how we should too.
Afterall it's only a few people sat at home behind a keyboard!
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As Ruth says, it's just a few anonymous people sat behind a keyboard. I cannot understand for the life of me how anybody can get so worked up about it!
Yeah, so much for punternut being promoted as this egalitarian utopian cyberland where punters and wg's get along just fine and dandy, and it promotes all this "greater understanding" between the two.
Is it? Where? I'd specifically like to know where it has been said that punters and WGs get on 'fine and dandy'. With links, please.
Punter boards are there to favour the punter
Well, duh. We have our board here to exchange information, share experiences good and bad and offer our opinions and advice to those who request it. So do punters. Some of it may offend the sensibilities of a few, just as I daresay some of the stuff we discuss would make some punters' hair stand on end, but I doubt very much they're slagging the board off because of it. Not everyone's viewpoints are always going to concur with our own and, shock horror, not everybody out there in punter/prossie land is a lovely fluffy bunny who does everything the way we think they ought to.
The women have to mostly say what the punters want to hear. Occasionally they will allow a mild mewling noise of objection just as a token.
That preposterous comment is every bit as patronising, misogynistic and downright offensive to every female poster on the site (some of whom indeed use it as a shameless toutathon and as a result become something of a running joke amongst the rest of us) as anything said by the 'primitives' among the board's male posters, and I would be fascinated to know which of my posts could by any stretch of the imagination be construed as 'mewling'. Or Bristol Claire's, Olivia's, Laura Lee's, Dollymopp's, Xenia's - I could go on but I won't. To suggest we are only there because we are so desperate for business we need to panhandle on a message board is ridiculous - punters are not another species, they are people and whilst I would not care to meet some of the posters (male and female), others have become good clients whose company I enjoy and I am happy to swap the odd email, have occasional off-duty lunches/drinks with and so on. Again, shock horror, some of actually enjoy the company of men!
No one, male or female is obliged to identify themselves on the site and there are a good few anonymous female posters - I am happy to link to my site because as far as I am concerned, when I am posting (which I rarely have time to do) I am not working and if anybody finds my views objectionable that is entirely up to them. I do not count it as part of my advertising - it is a way to share a bit of downtime with others involved in both sides of the industry who can understand some of the things that we encounter on a daily basis - something that my civvy friends can't do. I don't tailor my opinions according to who is likely to read them because I couldn't care less - I have more than enough business from people who are happy for me to be myself.
I would also like to challenge the accusation of women-hating; in all my time working on and off in the industry, I have been far more saddened and appalled by the way women treat each other than the way men treat them. I myself have been threatened with an outing recently by another local lady just because she took exception to something I had put in my advertising, and could tell anyone stories of girls badmouthing their competition to clients, making fake bookings and writing malicious reports, and God knows what else. The stuff punters get up to, by and large, pales by comparison.
They also try to make out that you cannot get along in this industry without them - WRONG.
Well I personally would have a hell of a job getting along in this industry without any punters.
And some of the worst clients I've had were from punternut. Shudder.
And what exactly are we supposed to conclude from this? Most of my worst clients have been from Adultwork. So have my best ones. A good few crap ones have come straight from Google. The point being?
Kurlie, I'm not trying to pick h0les in everything you say, but to present your opini0n on every subject as if it is definitive fact is not going to go unchallenged, and I have had only good experiences with the people I have met through PN (and most of my business comes through the FRs and thus my website). If you don't like it, don't read it. If you don't think the women are sticking up for themselves enough, or you find posts objectionable, join (anonymously if necessary) post, and stick up for yourself instead of bitching on here. And if cliqueyness and sucking up to the guys offends you that much for God's sake don't go on Punterlink, if you can find anything to read when you've waded past the spam, that is.
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Good Lord, gulp. I was only going by the topic of this thread. The ethos of punternet is to promote better understanding between wg's and punters, (I have paraphrased that). Going by some of the comments in this thread, that does not seem to be the case.
Apologies if I have made my opinions sound like it's the be-all and end all etc, but they are just my opinons. Others may have a different experience.
I have used p-nut in the past, and felt stifled and sometimes silenced. Maybe that's my problem.
When I said that you can get along in this industry without them, by "them" I meant punter forums, field reports and the like (the topic of this thread, and rubbish thereof).
Some of my worst clients have been from punternet - sorry, but that's my experience. I'm not saying everyone has had that experience.
I really don't understand why you are so angry.
I feel singled out, and had a feeling this was coming to be honest
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I dunno Amy, you always sound so damned angry and confrontational. I think I'm outta here. Don't feel comfortable here - nice knowing you all.
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I got lost in this thread and only read the last 2 posts...but my goodness :o :-X
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I dunno Amy, you always sound so damned angry and confrontational. I think I'm outta here. Don't feel comfortable here - nice knowing you all.
I'm not angry, just irritated at myself and people I know and like being constantly generalised about in such a derogatory way - I expect it from the politicians, the abolitionists and the press - I can do without it from other people in the industry. One of the points I was trying to make was that posts made anonymous people on forums are not worth getting angry about, and this is another good example.
I'm sorry you feel you can't stay and post, but please do read the forum (if nothing else the warnings board) and don't hesitate to come back if there is anything we can help with ;).
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Yeah, so much for punternut being promoted as this egalitarian utopian cyberland where punters and wg's get along just fine and dandy, and it promotes all this "greater understanding" between the two.
Punter boards are there to favour the punter, make no mistake. The women have to mostly say what the punters want to hear. Occasionally they will allow a mild mewling noise of objection just as a token.
They also try to make out that you cannot get along in this industry without them - WRONG.
And some of the worst clients I've had were from punternut. Shudder.
I have to say I have some lovely clients from punternet but, as far as I know I haven't seen any of the (too) regular posters.
I agree about some of the women - even some of the higher profile ones are selectively sychophantic and not as all girls together or honest as they appear on the surface. It can get in crowdy and I know of girls who have felt left out and just given up so you are not the only one Kurlie. As with most things in this business, next to nothing is what/who it seems.
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No one, male or female is obliged to identify themselves on the site
The problem comes when you wish to use Pnet and others for advertising AND forums. As it seems escorts are only allowed one profile. I believe it would be a helpful feature to allow escorts up to 2 profiles, one for advertising with, and if we felt like it, to have the other one as our anonymous voice on boards.
Because personally I think, escort are in a more vulnerable position than clients. If a male weirdo rumages through your posts and takes dislike to you, he could get to you in real life by looking up your website (if you're not on it anonymously that is). Same of course with female weirdos sabotaging other escort's lives. >:(
But turn it the other way round, and you find that no matter what John the Wanker says, no one could touch him. Because unless you already had bookings with punters, or met them up for coffee - how would you even find them?
~ SnakeLady
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No one, male or female is obliged to identify themselves on the site
The problem comes when you wish to use Pnet and others for advertising AND forums. As it seems escorts are only allowed one profile. I believe it would be a helpful feature to allow escorts up to 2 profiles, one for advertising with, and if we felt like it, to have the other one as our anonymous voice on boards.
Because personally I think, escort are in a more vulnerable position than clients. If a male weirdo rumages through your posts and takes dislike to you, he could get to you in real life by looking up your website (if you're not on it anonymously that is). Same of course with female weirdos sabotaging other escort's lives. >:(
But turn it the other way round, and you find that no matter what John the Wanker says, no one could touch him. Because unless you already had bookings with punters, or met them up for coffee - how would you even find them? ~ SnakeLady
I agree with all of that. There are lots of reasons why girls have to be more careful with what they say than boys. The girls who speak out the most (and I dont just mean against obvious targets like Nik and Jimmyredcab and HH) tend to be anonymous or get labelled as a trouble maker and leave or get banned. Amy and Ruth from here are two of the relatively few who come across as totally honest and shooting from the hip with no agenda.
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As far as I know, if you advertise in the Service Provider's Database, it doesn't have anything to do with having an account on the forum; multiple nicks are not allowed on the board itself, but it would be perfectly possible to place a regular ad and then post with a blank profile that can't be linked to it - you could use a separate email address if you really didn't want to be linked to it, but as far as I know it isn't against any rules anyway.
I also agree that ladies have to be more careful from a safety and security point of view, but that goes for any board where you have chosen to be identifiable; I've pulled punches on here more than once because of this, believe it or not ;D, and other ladies have described how clients have mentioned their posts. It never hurts to be reminded that we can be vulnerable every time we are in the public eye (and a recent PN thread on Facebook demonstrated this further).
The mods on PN regularly get threatened with all sorts but as stated, they are impossible to identify so it is all really so much hot air. But as far as upsetting individual punters goes, I can't see the point in worrying about it - there will always be some who agree with you and others who don't, and if John Q Punter thinks I'm a stroppy, caustic bitch and doesn't want to book me then it's his loss, n0t mine :D.
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As far as I know, if you advertise in the Service Provider's Database, it doesn't have anything to do with having an account on the forum; multiple nicks are not allowed on the board itself, but it would be perfectly possible to place a regular ad and then post with a blank profile that can't be linked to it - you could use a separate email address if you really didn't want to be linked to it, but as far as I know it isn't against any rules anyway.
That's really helpful to know, thanks for that. I just assumed you had to set up a profile on Pnet in order to advertise, just like you do on AW.
Also to ad, I think it's a shame Kurly that you felt the need to leave. Amy might have sounded harsh but wouldn't it be great if we could all be honest, have strong opinions which may clash sometimes, yet still get on? :D Afterall, we're all in the same boat. I guess any group of people could get accused of getting too cliquey as some people gravitate more towards each other and others could then easily feel excluded. Something to watch out for of course. But it would be a shame if we constantly felt we had to tiptoe around each other even when something upset us.
I thought Amy's earlier post did sound angry too, and I think it's propably because she felt as if she and other ladies on Pboards were bundled together with the sycophantic lot. Something I didn't think Kurly's post was meant to say.
Comes to show we do get upset by anonymous (or partially anonymous) posters on a website. ;D
~SnakeLady
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The problem comes when you wish to use Pnet and others for advertising AND forums. As it seems escorts are only allowed one profile. I believe it would be a helpful feature to allow escorts up to 2 profiles, one for advertising with, and if we felt like it, to have the other one as our anonymous voice on boards.
Because personally I think, escort are in a more vulnerable position than clients.
yes m'am! That is so true...Thats why I stepped away. And I tend to come off as 'negative and dramatic'. But what people don't understand is that in this point of my life, things are a bit cloudy and when I write it may come off a bit jeopardizing to the small percentage of potential punters who either lurk or post of the forums.
When I first began on them, I posted anonymously...But the idea of being Joey and showing who I am wasn't appreciated so I FUCKED THEM OFF!
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Also to ad, I think it's a shame Kurly that you felt the need to leave. Amy might have sounded harsh but wouldn't it be great if we could all be honest, have strong opinions which may clash sometimes, yet still get on? :D Afterall, we're all in the same boat. I guess any group of people could get accused of getting too cliquey as some people gravitate more towards each other and others could then easily feel excluded. Something to watch out for of course. But it would be a shame if we constantly felt we had to tiptoe around each other even when something upset us. I thought Amy's earlier post did sound angry too, and I think it's propably because she felt as if she and other ladies on Pboards were bundled together with the sycophantic lot. Something I didn't think Kurly's post was meant to say. Comes to show we do get upset by anonymous (or partially anonymous) posters on a website. ;D ~SnakeLady
^seconded. :)
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The mods on PN regularly get threatened with all sorts but as stated, they are impossible to identify so it is all really so much hot air. But as far as upsetting individual punters goes, I can't see the point in worrying about it - there will always be some who agree with you and others who don't, and if John Q Punter thinks I'm a stroppy, caustic bitch and doesn't want to book me then it's his loss, n0t mine :D.
Talking of mods, the board is better managed since The Vicar arrived as he actually applies the rules fair and square and will deal with abhorrent postings rather than encouraging them as one of the others seems to do on a regular basis. :o I wish Sunni Tara had more input as she was great on the old board.
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Hi All - I decided my huffy departure was a bit premature, but I was upset, and I have re-registered (for how long I don't know) to say a couple more things if I may.
None of what I said was not meant to be derogatory to the women who post on the board, the comment about the mewlings being allowed was meant as a reflection of p-net itself. So I apologise if I sounded misogynistic, patronising or whatever other adjective was used. I am nothing of the sort. I was sticking to the subject of this thread and relating my experiences and perspectives.
I also noticed that it was expressed by amy that every comment I make on EVERY subject is presented by myself as definitive fact. I am an assertive woman yes, and I share my opinions on this board, but I don't recall telling anyone that they must think the same as myself. This is one reason Ifinally just decided that if I am going to have to be so damned careful about what I say on here, there is no point in ever posting.
Amy, I feel that you have a lot of anger issues, and I also feel that you have a specific problem with me. I felt all along, in the short time I have been posting, that you have not liked me. Hence the comment about "expecting this to happen". That doesn't really bother me, but feeling like I'm treading on eggshells now with every post, does.
None of us is perfect though, and I wish you all the best, good luck, and hope you all have a Happy Christmas. xx
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Mmmmh, find it a bit of a paradox that Kurly strongly criticises Punternet and especially the meek female posters there yet acts churlish when Amy posts in a clear and unambiguous way here. Surely if you want frank exchange of views then you need to accept opinions that differ from yours? Personally, I find it a bit unfair and rather unjust to wishy washy pocket analyse Amy and call her angry and confrontational. I just don?t get it what is it you want from a board such as this. Bimbo airheads who giggly agree with each and one endless cyber tittie hug? We are adults from all sorts of different backgrounds and there ought to be enough common sense to debate without resorting to emotional blackmail when someone responds to what you write. If anyone is assertive and posts in a very authoritative manner then they/me/anyone ought to take responsibility for those posts and not swan off the minute someone else holds them accountable for those opinions. Stay, don?t stay but don?t try and hold posters to ransom with the threat of flouncing off again the minute someone posts something you don?t like to hear.
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Kurly, I have no problem with, opinion on or interest in you personally whatsoever; I have far more important things to think about. I was reacting to your post, which I believed was sweeping, unfair and simplistic, and also commenting on the fact that you often seem to make similar posts without reading through threads properly or checking your facts first.
I much prefer assertive, opinionated and feisty posters (which is part of the reason I like PN), but as Honey says, you cannot possibly expect everyone to agree with you all the time and threatening to throw your toys out of the pram as soon as someone takes issue with what you may well mean as a throwaway remark, but has been presented as an authoritative statement, is unlikely to impress. All I am suggesting is the occasional judicious use of words like 'some' (before 'punters/prossies/forums' etc), and maybe 'in my opinion/experience', instead of the 'sorry, but this is the way it is', which comes across as more like arrogance than assertiveness - why feel the need to tack an apology onto your statements unless you believe that they carry enough power to upset someone in some way? And as for the sub-sixth form psychoanalysis, do spare me.
We need experienced ladies on the board, and no-one need tiptoe round anybody, provided they realise that this is not a love-in and disagreements will happen, as they should and must among intelligent adults if anything useful is going to be achieved. All I ask is that a little more thought goes into some of your messages before the 'Post' button is pressed.
And as this is now veering off topic, take any further comment you have to make to PM, please.
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Am posting one last one.
Where did I post without researching? Points to address: BH I post in a clear unambiguous way, it's amy who has the problem with it it seems. I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I have apologised when I've been wrong. Where are all these accusations coming from and why?? I don't expect anyone to tiptoe around me (obviously) nor do I expect to tiptoe around anyone.
If I am going to be singled out and bullied on this board, then you can have it. As for your scathing comment amy about "sub-sixth form psychoanalysis", thanks for that witty sarcasm - I really am bowled over with the witticisms. You are one angry woman, and it really does show. This is not about my comments, it's about you taking issue with me on a personal level as far as I'm concerned.
Sweeping statements? It was amy who suggested that EVERY subject I commented on was meant to be the definitive word on that subject, and this is an outrageous accusation. I really am astonished at the way I've been treated on here. amy, you need to calm yourself down, stop analysing and criticising, and just chill. You are a bully and I'm not hanging around to subject myself to any more of this bullshit.
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Mmmmh, find it a bit of a paradox that Kurly strongly criticises Punternet and especially the meek female posters there yet acts churlish when Amy posts in a clear and unambiguous way here. Surely if you want frank exchange of views then you need to accept opinions that differ from yours? Personally, I find it a bit unfair and rather unjust to wishy washy pocket analyse Amy and call her angry and confrontational. I just don?t get it what is it you want from a board such as this. Bimbo airheads who giggly agree with each and one endless cyber tittie hug? We are adults from all sorts of different backgrounds and there ought to be enough common sense to debate without resorting to emotional blackmail when someone responds to what you write. If anyone is assertive and posts in a very authoritative manner then they/me/anyone ought to take responsibility for those posts and not swan off the minute someone else holds them accountable for those opinions. Stay, don?t stay but don?t try and hold posters to ransom with the threat of flouncing off again the minute someone posts something you don?t like to hear.
Well that shows just how differently posts can be read. I fully understood the point Kurlie was making and dont think she was at all expecting anyone to agree with her or was looking for bimbo airheads replies. If anything her points showed a real understanding of the more subtle dymanics of PN and some of its regular posters. I would guess she has been around the industry a good while and so it is a shame she has left.
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Mmmmh, find it a bit of a paradox that Kurly strongly criticises Punternet and especially the meek female posters there yet acts churlish when Amy posts in a clear and unambiguous way here. Surely if you want frank exchange of views then you need to accept opinions that differ from yours? Personally, I find it a bit unfair and rather unjust to wishy washy pocket analyse Amy and call her angry and confrontational. I just don?t get it what is it you want from a board such as this. Bimbo airheads who giggly agree with each and one endless cyber tittie hug? We are adults from all sorts of different backgrounds and there ought to be enough common sense to debate without resorting to emotional blackmail when someone responds to what you write. If anyone is assertive and posts in a very authoritative manner then they/me/anyone ought to take responsibility for those posts and not swan off the minute someone else holds them accountable for those opinions. Stay, don?t stay but don?t try and hold posters to ransom with the threat of flouncing off again the minute someone posts something you don?t like to hear.
Well that shows just how differently posts can be read. I fully understood the point Kurlie was making and dont think she was at all expecting anyone to agree with her or was looking for bimbo airheads replies. If anything her points showed a real understanding of the more subtle dymanics of PN and some of its regular posters. I would guess she has been around the industry a good while and so it is a shame she has left.
I have to agree with Trafford on this one. I think Kurlie was making a perfectly valid point and one that she was fully entitled to make. I certainly didn't take offence at anything that she said or the manner in which she said it. I hate to wade into an argument as i normally try to keep out of them but in this case i do think Kurlies has been attacked in a manner which she did not deserve and i for one am sorry to see her go.
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Bimbo airheads who giggly agree with each and one endless cyber tittie hug?
LMAO ;D
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I must admit I personally didn't read anything bad in what Kurly said, I also hate the punter forums hence the reason I'm not a member. We all have different opinions and views on things that's what makes the world such an interesting place, and it would be such a shame if Kurly didn't come back as I second the fact that she seems to be an experienced working girl who has some valid and useful information to share with others. I'd hate to think we were turning on each other, there's enough of that shite in the industry!! I definately think that it's easy for us to read things wrongly, just as in texting.... it's hard to get across the nature of what you want to say as there's a lot to be said of not just the words spoken but the way in which they are said. I have often been accused of being stroppy in a text message when that was not the way it was meant to come across!
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None of the people who can't seem to find anything wrong in Kurly/Curly's original post (which is the one I objected to for reasons which I have explained until my brain hurts) apparently belong to the group she was insulting. I, on the other hand do, and so do a good few of my friends and clients. Whatever her opinion of any of us is is her business, but to present it as if it were unarguable fact is offensive, which comes to what Sophie has said about the importance not just of what we say, but the way we say it (which in my ever-diplomatic way I was trying to get across in my post above).
If Kurly decides to come back (and as we all know, the revolving door of prostitution never closes, and there are plenty more ways to spell her name left) and I too would hope that she does, I hope that she will maybe take a bit more time to write her posts so they are less likely to be misinterpreted - it is easy and convenient to generalise about large groups of people, but don't be surprised when some of those you are attempting to pigeonhole (and as I've said, I do feel that the occasional inclusion of words like 'some', would make a huge difference) object and are not afraid to say why. The post on this thread is not the only one I am referring to, and reading back through some of it I can see how much of what has irritated me (and not just me) can probably be put down to an unfortunate posting style rather than any real intent to offend.
My point about the thread veering off-topic and request to take any further comment to PM was also ignored, whether this was deliberate or not I have no idea, but can we please try to get back on track. Firstly, Punternet is not the only punting forum - there are other national and many local boards with varying good and bad points worth discussing. If the subject is indeed exhausted, I'll lock it tomorrow.
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Well that shows just how differently posts can be read. I fully understood the point Kurlie was making and dont think she was at all expecting anyone to agree with her or was looking for bimbo airheads replies. If anything her points showed a real understanding of the more subtle dymanics of PN and some of its regular posters. I would guess she has been around the industry a good while and so it is a shame she has left.
Reading through Kurly's old post again, I totally agree with Trafford and others. Speaking as someone not directly involved with any Pboard (although I have been lurking long enough) I have to say that from a distance... and this may ruffle a few feathers... they don't exactly smack of female empowerment. I am sure there are more subtle dynamics going on between people knowing each other, as well as the existence of opinionated women, considerate men, friendships forming etc.
But my problem with these boards is, that there is a certain type of Wanky Bloke allowed in to freely spew verbal abuse, in a way he wouldn't be on say: BDSM, swinger or dating sites. Which basically sends the message to users and lurkers alike that it's acceptable behaviour. Especially when some of these individuals are, what's it called? Verified/Honoured Members or even Moderators.
Because there is a clear line between being opinionated and verbally abusive.
Example 1) it is not OK to say "why are so many Dommes/Escorts on AW old and unattractive?". What you as a punter could say is that you prefer to see young Dommes/Escorts with model looks. It may brand you as shallow, (and God knows some men are shallow) but at least then you are not being derogatory to every sex seller (or woman for that matter) over 40.
Example 2) it is not OK to hijack (what seems like half of all the threads going), in order to bemoan escorts for being too expensive, greedy, think we're somewhat worth the money we're charging and variations thereof. What you as a punter could do is to get some professional help IMO. As that would be a lot cheaper. ;)
Remarks as such do nothing to address the underlying issues some punters may have for "having to" pay for sex. But those remarks, this nagging, those passive aggressive jokes I believe do chip away at our confidence and undermine our professional identities time and time and time again. Which may explain why some ladies decide to charge less, increase the number of extras they provide etc.
That's what I meant when saying some posters were woman hating. Especially when some Wankers pass a "got yourself to blame cause you were so greedy" remark right after a poor woman got raped by a serious scam "agency".
As for me, I don't mind strong opinions. But I do mind verbal abuse from people not bothered to address their own mental health issues. Because I am not there to nurse them by patiently explaining facts everybody else knows and propably already tried to explain. Nor am I there to nag the Moderators to do their job properly, if they are not even bothered by said abuse. Which is why I have so far stayed clear from boards where these ManToddlers get to rumage without proper supervision.
~SnakeLady
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None of the people who can't seem to find anything wrong in Kurly/Curly's original post (which is the one I objected to for reasons which I have explained until my brain hurts) apparently belong to the group she was insulting. I, on the other hand do, and so do a good few of my friends and clients.
I did not see Kurlie mention any names and I really do not think you were anywhere in her thoughts. Puntenet like all boards has a few queen bees and divas (we have joey :)) which many will appreciate and many will not. Most girls who have been around a while know to look further at people and issues and shy away from face value judgements. There are very few girls in this business who are universally liked even some of the self styled high profile ones. Noone is all things to all people and so even if Kurlie had specific people in mind - which I do not think she had - none were named so does it really matter?
Other boards - one of the worst? The Hive, set up to spite Puntingzone - now that was a board war!!!!! :o
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Mmmh, I don?t disagree with most of the points made by other posters about punting boards, especially PN. That said so while I groan and often have to self impose abstinence from those boards for my sanity, I actually do enjoy the banter and interaction with a number of fellow posters. I have an all female private forum (The Guild) to escape to when I crave some open and frank exchange with fellow floozies free from grunters trying to tell me how to run my business lol
While undoubtedly there are many cases of misogynist posts on PN ? there are also rather lovely gents among them who make up some of my clientele. A bit less generalisation and less of a stark black and white, either/or attitude would be good. I do find it a bit offensive to lump all members of other boards together, especially as many posters with integrity tend to participate across a number of forums. I think while not intentional to dismiss everyone with a sweeping generalisation does a great injustice to a lot of ladies I have the utmost respect for who regularly contribute to PN and other mixed boards, such as Laura, Amanda, BBW Claire, Amy just to name a few. Among my fave co-ed boards is Alba where there is a warm and lovely atmosphere of gentle teasing and great wits. Quite a few of the regular contributors also post on PN and again I find it an insult to them to dismiss them along with an entire forum. A board is a living breathing organism made up of individual members ? what I dislike are the grunters but then again I find it healthy to remind myself how lucky I am not to count them among my customers.
The point I was trying to make and it seems so did Amy is that if you are feisty and post assertively ? you do need to accept people reacting to those posts. Kurly complained about Amy?s comment regarding analysing her. But likewise it was certainly not called for to attack Amy too and accuse her of being full of aggression. I have seen no such behaviour to warrant this comment. While it is a shame that ladies leave ? ?tis the nature of boards. I prefer some healthy and robust discussion and will not be emotionally blackmailed to not express myself lest someone who can clearly dish out but cannot stand to hear some honest responses ? is mortally offended and deletes her membership.
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Which is why I have so far stayed clear from boards where these ManToddlers get to rumage without proper supervision.
~SnakeLady
ManToddlers ;D Seriously though, generally speaking, men who hang around on boards so do not reflect the many lovelys who I and others get to see. My clients really seem to just pop into this world and then pop right back to normal life when the door closes. What makes a man want to hang out online with a plethora of prostitutes?
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But those remarks, this nagging, those passive aggressive jokes I believe do chip away at our confidence and undermine our professional identities time and time and time again. Which may explain why some ladies decide to charge less, increase the number of extras they provide etc.
AMEN!
The male forums are no better: Here's a reply between me and 2 'punters' several months ago. Warning! It does contain disturbing bullshit. I'll make my quote in black and theirs in red and maroon . You can see how soul destroying this can be....
#36 09-14-2009
zipperzone
Duke
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: vancouver, b.c., canada.
Posts: 5,338
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Let me also add this......
Let's assume that an escort is working 32 hours a week (which is still considered full-time). Using a lowball figure of $125/hr, that means the guy is making, TAX FREE, $4000/wk, $16000/mo and $208,000/yr.
Quote:
Orignally posted by Joey
For crying out loud, here we go with the figures again...Where do people get these from?
I know several escorts that make this kind of money....some of them are talked about on this board quite often.
If RianB isn't and/or can't make these figures, perhaps he should take a long hard look at himself, his business practices and most importantly, his attitude. Unfortunately I doubt that he has the necessary skills to do this effectively.
As you can see, a 2nd poster jumped in for an attack.
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What makes a man want to hang out on line with a plethora of prostitutes?
A good question. Personally, I am a bit sceptic about the actual purpose of it all. Our relationships to clients are not meant to cross over into their personal lives. So what purpose does it fill when it crosses over into cyberspace instead?
To justify their cheating on their wife/man?
To having their ego stroked?
To re enforce a belief that what you've got is a real friendship and not just sex?
To enable them to tell you things they dare not say to women/men in general?
To pretend that you are actually their girl or boyfriend?
Or is it the desire to belong to a kind of underground, sexual minority group?
Is it a form of whore fetishism, where guys get off on interacting with real life hookers?
Do they feel the need to get reassured by forums that what they do isn't abusive to us, and that we truly are happy to have sex with them?
Because there is a paradox. If all they wanted was sex and company (or paid for romantic flings at their own convenience) then why do they feel the need to stay close to us via forums? Or could it be (what I long suspected) that most of them aren't even clients, just on line wannabees?
I am not passing any judgements either way. Am only exploring the topic.
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If all they wanted was sex and company (or paid for romantic flings at their own convenience) then why do they feel the need to stay close to us via forums? Or could it be (what I long suspected) that most of them aren't even clients, just on line wannabees?
You are making some really good points today Ms. Thang! Makes so much sense. But (I couldn't find said thread) there was a poster who quoted "why would I want to carry an additional phone on the off-chance I hire an escort?
Well the F :-X you're posting on here if you arent hiring anytime soon and dont do so frequently? Ladies, I'm starting to think its similar to a board on 'Playboy' or 'ESPN cover models', or 'Maxim' chicks :D If anything, its just conversation, some of it aimed at your self-confidence :(
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What makes a man want to hang out on line with a plethora of prostitutes?
A good question. Personally, I am a bit sceptic about the actual purpose of it all. Our relationships to clients are not meant to cross over into their personal lives. So what purpose does it fill when it crosses over into cyberspace instead?
To justify their cheating on their wife/man?
To having their ego stroked?
To re enforce a belief that what you've got is a real friendship and not just sex?
To enable them to tell you things they dare not say to women/men in general?
To pretend that you are actually their girl or boyfriend?
Or is it the desire to belong to a kind of underground, sexual minority group?
Is it a form of whore fetishism, where guys get off on interacting with real life hookers?
Do they feel the need to get reassured by forums that what they do isn't abusive to us, and that we truly are happy to have sex with them?
Because there is a paradox. If all they wanted was sex and company (or paid for romantic flings at their own convenience) then why do they feel the need to stay close to us via forums? Or could it be (what I long suspected) that most of them aren't even clients, just on line wannabees?
I am not passing any judgements either way. Am only exploring the topic.
It is something which I have pondered on and off over the years and I am no closer to the answer and I suppose there is not a definitive one.
Some of the male posters seem socially backward and this must be the only way they can communicate with women. Some seem to live vicariously through those they think live an exciting lifestyle. Some just want more for their money and quite a few probably dont punt at all or so rarely that their chosen girl is probably on less than minimum wage when factoring the hours of chatting up either side of any bookings. Inner ego probably features a lot too and there are always the boys who think of themselves as knights on their pink chargers saving us poor souls from this murky world.
Obviously some sound friendships do develop but mostly its all a little odd.
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It is something which I have pondered on and off over the years and I am no closer to the answer and I suppose there is not a definitive one.
Some of the male posters seem socially backward and this must be the only way they can communicate with women. Some seem to live vicariously through those they think live an exciting lifestyle. Some just want more for their money and quite a few probably dont punt at all or so rarely that their chosen girl is probably on less than minimum wage when factoring the hours of chatting up either side of any bookings. Inner ego probably features a lot too and there are always the boys who think of themselves as knights on their pink chargers saving us poor souls from this murky world.
Obviously some sound friendships do develop but mostly its all a little odd.
I've wondered this myself too, especially when I was new to the Internet - some people do seem to spend an awful lot of time online. I've been on a lot more myself these last few days as I've been trying to sort two new computers out and I'm dying to get outside into the fresh air!
I think a lot of what Trafford says is true - I know of a handful of ex and non punters who just like the interaction (although one of the most universally derided-for-not-punting posters is in fact a regular punter albeit not one I'd be any hurry to meet) and many will have no one close to them to talk to about their activities; I think admitting being a punter to your nearest and dearest is probably worse than telling them you're a prossie. And I daresay some people enjoy being anonymous and thus getting to say whatever and be whoever they like knowing there will be little consequence.
As for wanting to hang around WGs, there are a good few among the pond life who would rather the ladies were not on the boards at all - we are occasionally sneeringly reminded that 'this is PUNTERnet', in case we had forgotten, although not many share their view and when an all-punter board was set up it didn't last long. The knights in shining armour come along now and again too (poor old MrMalabu, Gawd love him ;D). I'm a bit confused by Snakelady's bit about punting being abusive - I AM truly happy to be having sex with the punters I meet, they are clean, polite, intelligent people (with very few exceptions) treat me kindly and respectfully, and many are surprisingly adept in the bedroom; some live far away from me and I don't see them often, so the occasional 'postcard' doesn't do any harm. To be fair, I'm not daft enough to think that all punters are like this, but as Honey said, the boards give me chance to count myself lucky that the more unpleasant ones are never likely to darken my door.
I'm actually also on a civvy forum to do with a hobby of mine, and some days it makes PN (and not forgetting PLink, which I find unbelievably cliquey and misogynistic sometimes) look like the Teddy Bears picnic. Some of the out and out abuse which takes place when disagreements erupt is incredible and makes me suspect that the opportunity to shoot one's mouth off anonymously in itself brings out the worst in many, whether it be about punting, floristry or llama breeding. Some people just like a scrap.
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makes me suspect that the opportunity to shoot one's mouth off anonymously in itself brings out the worst in many, whether it be about punting, floristry or llama breeding. Some people just like a scrap.
I think its important to make sure that only an idea is being attacked...not the person themselves. Even still, the idea shouldn't even be 'attacked'. Just questioned further and if necessary; proved wrong.
Even if it takes days and weeks to resolve. In the end, there isn't a winner or a loser.
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I'm a bit confused by Snakelady's bit about punting being abusive
I didn't mean that punting in itself was abusive. Only that some punters may themselves think that what they do could be classed as abusive. And that they then feel the need for reassurance from ladies on Pboards to check that they were nice customers, we weren't in pain when they were inside etc, we didn't fake that orgasm, we enjoyed ourselves too, etc. Oh, and that we haven't been coerced, trafficked... you know the drill ;)
Which could be just as much one of the reasons why they turn to Pboards.
I think admitting being a punter to your nearest and dearest is probably worse than telling them you're a prossie.
A very good point.
Now, I need to follow your advice and get the hell out of Cyberspace myself....Bye for now. ;D
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Let's assume that an escort is working 32 hours a week
What do guys like these think escorting means? Stuffing sausages?
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What do guys like these think escorting means? Stuffing sausages?
Or getting stuffed with sausages...the Vienna kind ;)
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Ok, confessions here: I signed up for punternet, but Im not going to be a 'big' poster there. After reading what many of the men on there say, whew...I feel I'd constantly be carrying AK47s and grenade launchers everytime I reply to a thread. Those guys talk alot of SHIT. I'd been of popped one of them in the face lol...
But I do like the fact that unlike the gay punter forum here, there seems to be a bit more sense of realness on punternet. People ask genuine questions that deal with genuine things. Our forum is full of fluff. Very rearely do the escorts and punters get down on their hands and knees and post things that are dealt with daily. Its a very sterile feel.
Our forums used to be good back in 2002 up til about 2005 and then something weird happened. I wasnt even escorting til 2008 so I dont have a clue. But I know I like punternet better.
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Could that be a legal thing? I read something a while back, maybe a guide to posting reviews on bigdoggie, and it was very coy. It seems talking about the real stuff (at least part of it) wasn't allowed.
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Could that be a legal thing? I read something a while back, maybe a guide to posting reviews on bigdoggie, and it was very coy. It seems talking about the real stuff (at least part of it) wasn't allowed.
thats an interesting website lol. and from the message posts Im not the only one who's 'hobbying' is down a bit.
I dont think its a legal thing, but more the fact that few escorts are willing to open up and say things how they really are. I can understan if you want to project a certain image, or dont want to be seen in a negative light...but don't tell someone else to be like you. Some wb's have emailed me telling me to 'only talk about the positive things'.
I was shocked when I read a post from a girl on punternet in the 'hoax bookings' thread stated how she pushed out a punter who went to her apartment with her only to not want to pay her. She then 'pushed him out and landed flat on his face on the pavement'.
Now, when I wrote a similar thread on our forum, people swore it'd ruin my business along with the fact that I shoulda acted more professional. To a guy who ripped me off. This from other escorts.
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I was shocked when I read a post from a girl on punternet in the 'hoax bookings' thread stated how she pushed out a punter who went to her apartment with her only to not want to pay her. She then 'pushed him out and landed flat on his face on the pavement'.
Now, when I wrote a similar thread on our forum, people swore it'd ruin my business along with the fact that I shoulda acted more professional. To a guy who ripped me off. This from other escorts.
Bloody hell Joey, that was an old one! There is no way even you could have read through the whole forum in less than a few weeks at least - impressed! :D
Out of interest, have you read the PN forum rules? If you do want to join in and post, don't forget that any discussion of male service providers is off-topic and against the rules- it will more than likely get you deleted if you mention any gay prossie stuff. You might do well to pretend to be a lady, depending on what name you've registered with.
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You might do well to pretend to be a lady, depending on what name you've registered with.
lol, I seen that after I registered under my name. I've already posted once but got no replies. But come to think of it, maybe I should lol. How about, Joei?
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On PN, is having a listing a requirement? I seem to have got to this point and choosing either basic or deluxe is my only option for moving forwards...?
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I wouldn't worry - Joey could be a girl's name. If you try and re-register you'll get banned anyway for multi-nicking, so I would leave it, tbh. Just don't give away any bloke-stuff (and if your post is still there it means the mods haven't noticed, so you should be fine).
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On PN, is having a listing a requirement? I seem to have got to this point and choosing either basic or deluxe is my only option for moving forwards...?
A listing isn't required for joining the forum as it is separate to the directory (and you can add a website link to your profile - or not - just like you can here), but it is not a place to advertise and any blatant touting will get you a bollocking (not that it doesn't go on, but it will not show you in a particularly good light, despite what some seem to think ::)).
I do have a deluxe listing (which gets you a bit more text and a photie :D) but then PN is by far my biggest source of website hits and it is worth every penny (I have already had well over twice as much traffic from it this month as from Punterlink, the next biggest - although good old Google is second). It depend which area of the country you are in as much as anything else, I think.
The forum is a good start - if you join in a bit people (male and female) will look at your site and it doesn't cost anything, after all! The only thing you can't do is link to an Adultwork profile (or even mention the word - the software automatically changes it to **********). The site is not held in high regard, to say the least.
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Oh. My. Gosh. Do you see the amount of members online at punternet? Thats like...100 times the amount on ours.
I actually changed my mind about posting there now. I found out they deleted my 1st post that was a very detailed explanation on pricing. My biggest pet peeve on a forum is when I take the time out of my life to write something and its deleted, no matter how many times its been bought up.
If they're going to be stuck up assholes, then they can go fuck themselves...
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Oh. My. Gosh. Do you see the amount of members online at punternet? Thats like...100 times the amount on ours.
I actually changed my mind about posting there now. I found out they deleted my 1st post that was a very detailed explanation on pricing. My biggest pet peeve on a forum is when I take the time out of my life to write something and its deleted, no matter how many times its been bought up.
If they're going to be stuck up assholes, then they can go fuck themselves...
Joey, I didn't see your post but if you mentioned ANYTHING about being a male escort then it would have been deleted because of that, not because anyone was being a 'stuck up asshole'. As I was trying to warn you before, any mention of male service providers is off topic/not allowed and will be treated accordingly - if you took ages writing a post but couldn't be bothered to spend a couple of minutes reading the forum posting rules (http://www.punternet.com/forum/showthread.php?p=104#post104) you've really got no-one to blame but yourself.
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Oh. My. Gosh. Do you see the amount of members online at punternet? Thats like...100 times the amount on ours.
What's that saying about quality and quantity again? ;D
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if you mentioned ANYTHING about being a male escort then it would have been deleted because of that
They don't do trans (at least knowingly) either.
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if you took ages writing a post but couldn't be bothered to spend a couple of minutes reading the forum posting rules (http://www.punternet.com/forum/showthread.php?p=104#post104) you've really got no-one to blame but yourself.
I read their rules...and I mentioned nothing about being a male escort. It said that my post would be reviewed by a moderator before being posted. It was, and then it was deleted.
I blame ignorance, not myself. People are so concerned about being 'offended' about one's sexuality and preference that society builds walls. Its like nightclubs. They wont let gays into some straight nightclubs, yet straight people can prance right inside a gay club and kiss and everything is fine. Oh it is? Give me a break, society.
If people are ever going to 'come out the closet' they atleast need to open the door.
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if you took ages writing a post but couldn't be bothered to spend a couple of minutes reading the forum posting rules (http://www.punternet.com/forum/showthread.php?p=104#post104) you've really got no-one to blame but yourself.
I read their rules...and I mentioned nothing about being a male escort. It said that my post would be reviewed by a moderator before being posted. It was, and then it was deleted.
I blame ignorance, not myself. People are so concerned about being 'offended' about one's sexuality and preference that society builds walls. Its like nightclubs. They wont let gays into some straight nightclubs, yet straight people can prance right inside a gay club and kiss and everything is fine. Oh it is? Give me a break, society.
If people are ever going to 'come out the closet' they atleast need to open the door.
Joey, it is NOTHING to do with offending people and everything to do with you breaking the rules. You apparently posted about being and advertising as a male escort at different pricing levels and having male clients, as well as how you can see things from both sides by virtue of being both a man and a sex worker. Nothing wrong with any of this, apart from that it is blatantly against the rules and the only mystery as far as anyone can see is how one of the mods let your post through in the first place. It was removed by another for the reasons I have just stated, and in fact had three replies, 2 of which told you clearly that this was a straight punting forum and that you were posting on the wrong board.
You may not agree with the rules (and I don't agree with them all either fwiw), but it's not a democracy and we don't get to decide what they are - that is up to the admin of the site. There is no point whatsoever coming back over here and throwing a hissy fit because you misunderstood.
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I read Joey's post and unfortunately it was obvious he was a male service provider. So that I would say would be why he got removed.
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Nothing wrong with any of this, apart from that it is blatantly against the rules and the only mystery as far as anyone can see is how one of the (newer) mods let your post through in the first place. It was removed by another for the reasons I have just stated, and in fact had three replies, 2 of which told you clearly that this was a straight punting forum and that you were posting on the wrong board.
Well if they cant get their mods in order, then I dont really care to be a part of their site anyhow. Also, I never read said replies...as apparently they were deleted before I could get to them.
They can keep their site for all I care. I find it stomach churing that they let men who clearly hate escorts post on there yet they refuse to let someone who deals with the same damn customer who have dicks and balls just because he's a guy.
I would have continued to like the site, but discrimination is enough to make me not even look at it
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Well if they cant get their mods in order, then I dont really care to be a part of their site anyhow.
I find it stomach churing that they let men who clearly hate escorts post on there yet they refuse to let someone who deals with the same damn customer who have dicks and balls just because he's a guy.
Ah well Joey, whatever you say - yet another thread descends into The Joey Show. Well done.
You joined a straight forum and posted about gay escorting, which broke one of the forum's most fundamental rules. The post was then removed, so it's the mods fault for letting it slip past in the first place. Have you any idea how much dreck the mods have to read through every day? To those that are falling over themselves to moan about the stuff which does make it onto the board - spare a thought for the people who have to read through ALL the stuff that never sees the light of day. The board has three and a half thousand active members (a good few of whom are in Premod), we have maybe, twenty? I do my best, but this is not an especially busy forum, most of the members get on most of the time and I still missed a spybot post yesterday for an hour or so.
Discussion of male service providers is NOT ALLOWED on PN - you can rant, rave and stamp your feet about intolerance and so on all you want, but if I joined a cake-baking forum and starting harping on about biscuits I would not expect my posts to last long as they (and I) would be unwelcome, unhelpful and irrelevant. The main board is for punters and WGs to discuss female prostitution in the UK and Eire (there is a separate Rest of the World board), and this is CLEARLY stated - why on earth did you want to or think you could be 'part of their site'? The posters who 'hate' escorts are not breaking the forum rules, just voicing their opinions, however abhorrent or uncomfortable some of them might be. But of course it's always somebody else's fault...
They can keep their site for all I care
They'll be crying themselves to sleep ::).
But I won't. This thread was fading away nicely and I'm putting it out of it's misery. Closed.