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Author Topic: making friends with clients  (Read 13966 times)

Serendipitydo

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making friends with clients
« on: 10 May 2024, 12:10:10 am »
I have been doing this for a while now but I have found myself making friends with a client.

I have heard the "Pretty Woman" tale of girls marrying clients, I don't think that it is like that.

Usually, I don't let them cross the barrier but I think that we get on like a house on fire.

Am I being foolish?
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ladyofthemansion

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Re: making friends with clients
« Reply #1 on: 10 May 2024, 09:56:19 am »
No. I have done it over the years. Not often. But l have done it.
I'm glad I got all the Cynthia Payne books before the prices rocked to sky high.

Missizzy

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Re: making friends with clients
« Reply #2 on: 10 May 2024, 10:25:10 am »
No, I've made one particular excellent friend from this job myself.

Serendipitydo

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Re: making friends with clients
« Reply #3 on: 10 May 2024, 11:52:35 am »
Thanks for that reassurance.

I am aware that I am still going to have to be careful of boundaries, although we are getting on so well and I am looking forward to meeting up for coffee and dog walks, I do think that I need to make it plain that if anything else goes on, it's paid.

Not sure what to do, I know that I shouldn't monetise my entire existence!

It did occur to me that I might just ask him to pay a bill or two.

.......see already, it's confusing me!
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SquirtyQueen

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Re: making friends with clients
« Reply #4 on: 10 May 2024, 11:57:47 am »
I'm always suspicious when clients try to get too friendly! I had one who bragged that he'd gone to the cinema and had coffee multiple times with an escort just as friends ( I declined his similar offers). Then he started being awkward, cancelling last minute, wanted leeway as we were "friends". Blocked!
I sound cynical I know, but good luck  ;D

Serendipitydo

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Re: making friends with clients
« Reply #5 on: 10 May 2024, 12:01:24 pm »
I'm always suspicious when clients try to get too friendly! I had one who bragged that he'd gone to the cinema and had coffee multiple times with an escort just as friends ( I declined his similar offers). Then he started being awkward, cancelling last minute, wanted leeway as we were "friends". Blocked!
I sound cynical I know, but good luck  ;D

You're dead right and that's why I avoid it at all costs.

The way that contact has been established from the outset, for me, leaves the dynamics a bit skewed.

This is the one and only time though that I have let someone through the net.

He is so normal, sensitive, enjoys the "alternative" lifestyle and has lovely Irish humour.

I dunno, maybe I will have to post here if I come to regret this decision and it becomes a learning experience!!
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Cgiw

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Re: making friends with clients
« Reply #6 on: 10 May 2024, 01:18:26 pm »
You're dead right and that's why I avoid it at all costs.

The way that contact has been established from the outset, for me, leaves the dynamics a bit skewed.

This is the one and only time though that I have let someone through the net.

He is so normal, sensitive, enjoys the "alternative" lifestyle and has lovely Irish humour.

I dunno, maybe I will have to post here if I come to regret this decision and it becomes a learning experience!!

Good luck. I'd say it definitely has to be an either client or friend situation. Not both.

Missizzy

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Re: making friends with clients
« Reply #7 on: 10 May 2024, 01:45:47 pm »
Yes, I agree. Once they are friends they can't be clients. Otherwise you get those awful murky boundaries which don't work and it causes resentment on both sides.

Serendipitydo

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Re: making friends with clients
« Reply #8 on: 10 May 2024, 06:29:00 pm »
Yup, this is the difficulty.

This ain't my first rodeo but I would like to enjoy the company of this man.

Really, as you ladies have all sagely suggested, I need to figure out exactly what the boundaries are, what I want the relationship to be and how to implement that. Hmmmmm, lots of thinking for my little brain to do!!
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Serendipitydo

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Re: making friends with clients
« Reply #9 on: 11 May 2024, 06:16:48 am »
.... there is another thing, I think that I could REALLY like this client!

Dangerous ground.

We are speaking daily. I'm really into him in honesty.

I'm about to get burnt aren't I?

I have found this industry so freeing but it has prevented me from establishing relationships...and that was something that I intended, I had no interest in partners, but I am getting older and I would like to find someone to love.

This shit is so tricky to navigate.

Fortunately, Mr. Handsome is a swinger and is cool with my lifestyle. I don't believe in monogamy....... but I might be getting ahead of myself, he has just turned my head and it has been a long time since that's happened in my life.
« Last Edit: 11 May 2024, 06:28:02 am by Serendipitydo »
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Mirror

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Re: making friends with clients
« Reply #10 on: 11 May 2024, 07:57:38 am »
Whenever I have become friends with client it's been with clients who are boundaried, and able to maintain those boundaries. It always has to be appropriate too, without pressure. A couple of bookings per year regular becomes offended, doesn't understand when I don't let him connect on personal social media, he doesn't understand why I don't want him peering into my private life, who I'm married to etc. I also don't trust him to not make innocent slips.

I did meet my husband through my sex work but had had relationships with non-punters alongside my sex work before him.

Serendipitydo

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Re: making friends with clients
« Reply #11 on: 11 May 2024, 08:06:50 am »
I might be being a bit silly here, You married a client, I have a crush on one! I need to tread carefully but I do hope that this could lead to something nice.
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PrincessSAL

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Re: making friends with clients
« Reply #12 on: 11 May 2024, 09:25:37 am »
TBF I’m new to all this very new

have a few regulars, 1 i see very regularly not friendly friendly but good chat etc

However I am married and very clear would never be crossover into my RL

If he’s in the swinging scene his lines on “normal” will be blurred in a good way

I’m a swinger, a HW to be exact, I view my “work” as an extension of it - hubby kinda treats it like regular meets with a bonus lol i’m not desperate for the money but it’s a nice extra and boosting my nest egg aka holiday fund

it’s lonely being an adult hard to make new friend’s & connections, even more so with SW as it’s such a morally grey area for many people, so having a kinda friend who knows & supports isn’t a bad thing

ff

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Re: making friends with clients
« Reply #13 on: 11 May 2024, 09:51:00 am »
I did also make a very good friend of a client I didn't see him anymore for escort service after that as he got a girlfriend he didn't have an agenda that's why we're still friends years later
Unfortunately some have a agenda which includes wanting freebies and cross over your boundaries to make you feel. Confused deliberately  :FF.

Serendipitydo

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Re: making friends with clients
« Reply #14 on: 11 May 2024, 01:39:52 pm »
I did also make a very good friend of a client I didn't see him anymore for escort service after that as he got a girlfriend he didn't have an agenda that's why we're still friends years later
Unfortunately some have a agenda which includes wanting freebies and cross over your boundaries to make you feel. Confused deliberately  :FF.

I think that you might have a really good point here... I don't need to be feeling confused, I need to crack on with my routine and with work.

The loneliness gets to me sometimes though.
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