SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: GothGirl on 11 July 2019, 11:20:50 pm
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Hey all.
Has anybody else experienced this? I’m pretty open with my close friends about what I do & have never received any judgement. (So I thought
Few days ago I messaged my friend to see how her date went. We’ve been se friends around 4 years. She replied ‘yeh good but stay away seen as you shag people’s husbands, slag’
At first I wasn’t sure whether she was joking. After explaining to her that just because I do this job, does not mean that I would go for my friends interests etc.
I then received some absolutely vile messages in return. Saying she no longer wants to be friends with a prostitute, I’m disgusting, should be ashamed of myself etc. I have also just broken up with my partner who knew about my job since the first date.she said ‘no wonder he treated you the way you did when you’re a f***ing slag etc. Quite upsetting since she’s known for 4 years and has never had a bad word to say about it until now ???
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Hi GG,
Big hugs first off!!! Ok so this is the universe moving people out who arnt ment to be in your life at the moment .
Took me a while to learn and accept that people are gonna think what ever they wanna think about me...including my best friend. I was close with for 4 years until I told her about my job and she said she no longer wanted to be seen with me or wanted people to think she knew me ...just like that ... poof ...gone out of my life.
No one deserves to be treated like crap just because of your job ...please don’t take it personal . The job can be misunderstood/stereotyped but end of day that’s their issue .
Real friends will except you for the person that you are ... now you have space in your life to fill with true friends who love and accept you for you. Xx
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Well you're better off without this two-faced bitch in your social scene.
TBH I have mainly distanced myself from old friends since going full time (and I've relocated halfway up the country, which helps). I prefer now to cultivate friendships with other sex workers.
My sister knows what I do and is very supportive. I am pretty out most of the time. I'm in a WA group with my sis and a few mutual friends, including my sis's boyfriend.
I posted for support on something, specifically saying "this is gynae related, sorry [sis's boyfriend], feel free to skip"
Had a few supportive responses and then sis's BF basically replied "Maybe stop renting your vagina out then?" Cunt.
The people we most look up to can disappoint us immensely.
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This is also reality and what happens if you find out you have had a friend's husband, boyfriend as a client?
Very difficult.
I've had a mix of responses generally I keep to myself both the information and myself.
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4 years is a long time to be friends with no hint how nasty she can be out of the blue that must have been a shock. Do you think something else has happened behind the scene that you are not aware of? Either way though you are better off without her as a friend if that is her true feelings.
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This is why I'm super paranoid about letting anyone above the bare minumum know what I do. It sounds as if you're better off without such a bitch anyway x
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I think it's too big a secret for most 'friends'. Even harder for them to resist spreading it. Can't really un-tell people.
As the great poet Bob Marley sung-
"Only your friend know your secrets
So only he could reveal it
....Some will hate you, pretend they love you now
Then behind they try to eliminate you"
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Some people (men or women) keep their inner thoughts to themselves and they also manage to keep their "reservation" or negative feelings, well hidden.
Firstly, your boyfriend broke up with you, then this woman.
Were they friends?
Sadly, these things do happen.
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........................I have to add that something similar happened to me of late.
Maybe, it's something to do with nicer weather (?) ::)
It's hard to trust anyone after that. . . but that's life!
At least, you now know the truths, and saw how they were really like,
rather than wasting any more time on their "friendship" you thought there was . . .
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The people we most look up to can disappoint us immensely.
I realised that it is a case of "familiarity breeds contempt".
I wouldn't trust people easily now. . . People, who got close to you, they CAN potentially hurt you most when you least expected it coming. . . :FF
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Sad to read of the OP and her experience. I have had my fair share of nasty comments from people I never believed were capable of reacting the way they did (also some reassuring ones by people who "got it" and knew that just because we take cash from clients does not make us out to steal their men or do harm to children, yes some folk still think all prostitutes are a danger to society.)
What about close family members though? Cutting them out of your life is terrible and I have come very close to doing that myself.
I think this subject was discussed last year by a very distraught member who felt she had no other choice but to sever ties with her mother or sister.
What boils me up most though is the people who say they are not judgemental but display the exact opposite, have dirty secrets themselves yet as long as it is not sex for money they seem to think they are above any woman who makes a good living from escorting.
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She sounds like a horror GG. It must be really hurtful right now but eventually you'll look back and be thankful that she didn't wait another four years to show her true face. Hugs!
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Sounds like She’s always being jealous of you and was never a good friend in the first place.
I have non sex friends and they enjoy hearing my exploits and support me when things get tough.
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The few people I have confided in only hear my positive and entertaining stories. The way I see it if I told them of the scarier or less than pleasant side they may be thinking your problem as you are choosing this work.
Maybe I should not care one bit what anyone thinks, but I do.
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Hey all.
to see how her date went.
Was she in a relationship before has new BF got anything to do with this?
Sorry this happened to you x
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This is awful. I never told anyone, because you can't 'untell' them. Many people's idea of what we do is negative, and even if it's not they can still harbour judgement about us being untrustworthy, or 'man stealers' or similar bullshit.
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I had lost a( two faced back stabber ) friend who I trusted ..at the time I was hurt and felt betrayed but on reflection it was no loss ..
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My OH has lost friends, and some are now at a slight distance.
Others however are absolutely fine.
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Also a thing to remember is (and I don't care what anyone say's) women can be extremely jealous of hookers escorts strippers and so on, because we earn good money are not shy or prudish about having sex and also we don't need to rely on a guy to support us (well in a way we do but we provide a service so it's a bit different) like a lot of women do :).
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Also a thing to remember is (and I don't care what anyone say's) women can be extremely jealous of hookers escorts strippers and so on, because we earn good money are not shy or prudish about having sex and also we don't need to rely on a guy to support us (well in a way we do but we provide a service so it's a bit different) like a lot of women do :).
Agree with this, also there's the fact that we are complete maneaters and therefore cannot be trusted around their partners! I think if I'd never done this and met someone who told me she was an escort I may have had some of the same misconceptions. I'm glad I don't now!
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Yes even if we were not escorts there are many very insecure wives girlfriends who don't want us friends around their husbands .some have sex life problems and get worried that their partner will stray .
Once it's known that we are sex workers to these women friends the fear just escalates.
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Also a thing to remember is (and I don't care what anyone say's) women can be extremely jealous of hookers escorts strippers and so on, because we earn good money are not shy or prudish about having sex and also we don't need to rely on a guy to support us (well in a way we do but we provide a service so it's a bit different) like a lot of women do :).
Yep, this is why I told male friends when I started escorting but none of my female friends know. I'd rather not risk it, especially after some rather puritanical reactions when I became an internet dating strumpet.
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Also this is why my best friend is a guy :).
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I don't see the point in telling others unless they work in the same line as they won't understand so how can they give support.
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I don't see the point in telling others unless they work in the same line as they won't understand so how can they give support.
I think that's an assumption, plus I am not looking for a buddy in a friend. Quite a few do understand and for me it's about not having to duck and dive, I hate that tight feeling of concealment.
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She is probably threatened by you and thinks her man will go off and find an escort. Its mainly jealously, my friends haven't approved either but I have found friends on AW and we have a laugh and go out together and do regular day to day things. Sometimes it takes time for people to understand and get it xxxx
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She is probably threatened by you and thinks her man will go off and find an escort. Its mainly jealously, my friends haven't approved either but I have found friends on AW and we have a laugh and go out together and do regular day to day things. Sometimes it takes time for people to understand and get it xxxx
+1000
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I once told someone that I thought a friend, she was a drug dealer (coke and weed) and then every time I seen her after I told her then she’d constantly go on about it and not in a nice way, and she didn’t care who was there when she said it, one day I had finally had enough and started going on at her about the fact she sold drugs and she paid her bills with the proceeds from people’s addictions, just the same as me, except my clients were happy after they left me and they didn’t sell their furniture and lose custody of their kids just to buy what I sell, like they did with her, well that shut her up and she was falling over herself to make me happy after that, she basically kissed my arss to the point of being pathetic, and I don’t see her now, I think she was jealous in all honesty, this was a woman who had been with her partner for 25 years and never came once and got embarrassed when I asked if she had ever made herself come! She’s clearly shit in bed and is jealous cause she probably knows I’m good in bed! It’s always jealousy with these types.
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Yes it's social suicide especially if your from a small town area like me. My best friend was accepting but then a few year down the line she caught her child's dad messaging escorts on Aw (he was a cheat anyway and don't think he made a booking was probably a classic time waster knowing him) and she doesn't speak to me as much now and seems to prefer being friends with other women who work in childcare like her. We were great friends since 14 years old (now late 20s). Never lost a male friend because of it though.
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I personally wouldn't generalize about female reactions myself, women are not a monolith. I've had some women (well actually only one friend) drop me over it (years down the line she messaged me to apologize over that which was nice), one or two be uncomfortable (but usually get over it) some totally indifferent (most common reaction, people are wrapped up in their own lives most of the time and don't care that much what other people are doing, women included) a couple be very curious/weirdly enthusiastic about it (like, find it exciting to meet/ be friends with a lady of the night, until they realize that its not all that exciting that is!) oh and some of those younger very liberal women who are (frankly, annoyingly) up to their tits in 'sex workers rights' manifestos and ready to (wo)man my barracks for me. I mean its sweet but I prefer the indifference. But maybe it depends on where you live and what kind of circles you move in. I think jealous people though will be jealous of any number of people they meet, who their fragile egos might be threatened by.
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I personally wouldn't generalize about female reactions myself, women are not a monolith. I've had some women (well actually only one friend) drop me over it (years down the line she messaged me to apologize over that which was nice), one or two be uncomfortable (but usually get over it) some totally indifferent (most common reaction, people are wrapped up in their own lives most of the time and don't care that much what other people are doing, women included) a couple be very curious/weirdly enthusiastic about it (like, find it exciting to meet/ be friends with a lady of the night, until they realize that its not all that exciting that is!) oh and some of those younger very liberal women who are (frankly, annoyingly) up to their tits in 'sex workers rights' manifestos and ready to (wo)man my barracks for me. I mean its sweet but I prefer the indifference. But maybe it depends on where you live and what kind of circles you move in. I think jealous people though will be jealous of any number of people they meet, who their fragile egos might be threatened by.
100%
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Thats horrible! Say thank goodness! Im sorry you feel that way woman.. Byeee!!
I lost my friendship group when I was 20 years old because I was open about it and they kind of resented me when I started making money. They just ignored me when i messaged them to meet up like usual and cold or detatched.
But the universe just cleared them out and made way for some proper friends and even a partner.